missfortissimo
addicted to minimins
Ah yes, the defiance. I love it! 
Well done on -3.5!! Excellent indeed, you deserve that loss.
Well done on -3.5!! Excellent indeed, you deserve that loss.
It's Now Or Never
- Thread starter Pinkie1973
- Start date
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Deleted. I was ranting.
Last edited:
pjallen1982
Gold Member
Sending big hugs. If you want to vent then feel free to PM me or i can send you my email or mob number x
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
I can't. I'm too upset. I'm ok, nothing terrible has happened. Just so fed up and everything piling up and just don't know where to turn.
I'll sort it, I always do, just so tired always fighting the world on my own.
This is better than my original rant btw
So of course its affecting my eating (put on again this week). And I'm bored of that fight now. But I don't want to give up either. So however I move forward I can't win.
Not a good time at Chez Pinkie and I have run out of ideas to shake myself out if it. :-(
I'll sort it, I always do, just so tired always fighting the world on my own.
This is better than my original rant btw
So of course its affecting my eating (put on again this week). And I'm bored of that fight now. But I don't want to give up either. So however I move forward I can't win.
Not a good time at Chez Pinkie and I have run out of ideas to shake myself out if it. :-(
missfortissimo
addicted to minimins
Oh Pinkie, I really know just how you feel. "tired of that fight" is actually a really excellent way to state my own feelings right now. I understand being in such a foul mood that nothing makes me feel better, actually it just makes me even more upset to hear about the "silver lining" for some stupid reason!
Take a break if you need to, try maintaining for a while and maybe hop back on the wagon?
If you have the time to exercise, I suggest continuing with that because it's so helpful with stress for many people.
Hugs for you, I REALLY understand how you are feeling Pinkie. :hug99:
Take a break if you need to, try maintaining for a while and maybe hop back on the wagon?
If you have the time to exercise, I suggest continuing with that because it's so helpful with stress for many people.
Hugs for you, I REALLY understand how you are feeling Pinkie. :hug99:
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Thank you Molly. Well I did at least have a chat with my tutor last night and got an extension of a couple of days on my assignment. So I've taken some pressure off there.
I'm not pre-menstrual I know, but I am teary in that way. I'm shattered too. On a train up to Coventry as we speak, for a meeting. So I'm using the train time to study.
I will continue with the diet, giving up and going back just isn't an option. But going to weigh in every week just feels like I'm beating myself up every week at the moment.
I've brought my journal with me today too, so I think I'll write in that in a bit. Get my emotions sorted. It's been crap since end of July. I'm sabotaging myself, and I need to work out why and then move on.
I'm so tired right now I feel sick. And yet another morning of shouting and I'm afraid to say I swore too, at Beanie. He's lost 2 jumpers in two days. I could just do without it.
Hope things are getting better for you Molly, sorry I've not been on the diaries. Can barely see past my own nose at the moment.
I'm not pre-menstrual I know, but I am teary in that way. I'm shattered too. On a train up to Coventry as we speak, for a meeting. So I'm using the train time to study.
I will continue with the diet, giving up and going back just isn't an option. But going to weigh in every week just feels like I'm beating myself up every week at the moment.
I've brought my journal with me today too, so I think I'll write in that in a bit. Get my emotions sorted. It's been crap since end of July. I'm sabotaging myself, and I need to work out why and then move on.
I'm so tired right now I feel sick. And yet another morning of shouting and I'm afraid to say I swore too, at Beanie. He's lost 2 jumpers in two days. I could just do without it.
Hope things are getting better for you Molly, sorry I've not been on the diaries. Can barely see past my own nose at the moment.
Sorry, to read that you are having a s**t time, and in need of a hug...
:bighug:
:bighug:
I know what you mean about the weekly WI, I always get in a tizz about it, even at Target
Boys are dull, and as we know they get duller as they get older!
Threaten him with sewing his jumpers on him!
:bighug:
:bighug:
I know what you mean about the weekly WI, I always get in a tizz about it, even at Target
Boys are dull, and as we know they get duller as they get older!
Threaten him with sewing his jumpers on him!
pjallen1982
Gold Member
Hi honey,
I'm sorry you are having a real rough time at the moment. Life is not fair and I wish I knew how to help or what to say.... but i don't.
If you do want a vent then you just have to say.
As others have said, maybe aiming to maintain at the moment is a good strategy, remove one more stress from your life at the moment.
As for Beanie, i'm not sure what to suggest. Is there any punishment you can dish out, so for example not going to athletic group, so that he learns losing jumpers is not acceptable behaviour?! Gosh I'm going to be a horrid Mum. Listen to me! Argh!
Look after yourself chick x
I'm sorry you are having a real rough time at the moment. Life is not fair and I wish I knew how to help or what to say.... but i don't.
If you do want a vent then you just have to say.
As others have said, maybe aiming to maintain at the moment is a good strategy, remove one more stress from your life at the moment.
As for Beanie, i'm not sure what to suggest. Is there any punishment you can dish out, so for example not going to athletic group, so that he learns losing jumpers is not acceptable behaviour?! Gosh I'm going to be a horrid Mum. Listen to me! Argh!
Look after yourself chick x
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Thanks Lynne and Penny. He brought all 3 jumpers home last night. Gotta laugh eh? Oh and apparently they class him as 'gifted and talented' in maths and are going to put him up a year group as an experiment. So basically, he's 'special' and they're experimenting on him.
Everything else pretty much same as. Though writing in my journal is helping clarify my thoughts a bit. Food wise, not good. I'm trying not to be silly, but not stress about it either. I.e. today I've been on plan, but had a slice of millionaire shortbread (no other syns though). Will have free/superfree food tonight too.
I've been using my journal to write some specific tasks that I want to achieve each day too, including something nice for myself. Like I say, trying to get some clarity and order back in my life, but be kind to myself as well. Tonight's treat is a bath and scrub.
Don't feel any happier, but I'm hoping that if I keep doing the above I'll eventually feel perkier, more in control and then be able to get back on plan properly.
Everything else pretty much same as. Though writing in my journal is helping clarify my thoughts a bit. Food wise, not good. I'm trying not to be silly, but not stress about it either. I.e. today I've been on plan, but had a slice of millionaire shortbread (no other syns though). Will have free/superfree food tonight too.
I've been using my journal to write some specific tasks that I want to achieve each day too, including something nice for myself. Like I say, trying to get some clarity and order back in my life, but be kind to myself as well. Tonight's treat is a bath and scrub.
Don't feel any happier, but I'm hoping that if I keep doing the above I'll eventually feel perkier, more in control and then be able to get back on plan properly.
missfortissimo
addicted to minimins
Hugs for you Pinkie. I've definitely been in the spot where I really don't have the time to look at others' diaries so no worries on that front!
Don't beat yourself up and definitely treat yourself in those nice ways as often as possible. :hug99:
Don't beat yourself up and definitely treat yourself in those nice ways as often as possible. :hug99:
Pommette
Trying - very!
Pinkie - my heart goes out to you hun.
Is this course perhaps just a tad too much at the mo with everything else going on? You have a full-time job and Beanie to look after. Where is your me time? Did you make time tonight for your bath and scrub?
Don't fret about food. Stop going to WI if that's stressing you. You've been doing SW a while - successfully - so you'll make reasonable choices all the time. So why not just maintain for a while and take the pressure off yourself.
Being a single mum is hard work, and I know Beanie is only young - but if he's good at maths it means he can think logically. Can you get him to help out a bit with a few easy chores to take some pressure off in that direction. Tell him you're feeling stressy and ask for his help. He might surprise you.
Other than that, I don't know what to suggest.
Except more hugs coming your way. :hug99: :bighug:
Is this course perhaps just a tad too much at the mo with everything else going on? You have a full-time job and Beanie to look after. Where is your me time? Did you make time tonight for your bath and scrub?
Don't fret about food. Stop going to WI if that's stressing you. You've been doing SW a while - successfully - so you'll make reasonable choices all the time. So why not just maintain for a while and take the pressure off yourself.
Being a single mum is hard work, and I know Beanie is only young - but if he's good at maths it means he can think logically. Can you get him to help out a bit with a few easy chores to take some pressure off in that direction. Tell him you're feeling stressy and ask for his help. He might surprise you.
Other than that, I don't know what to suggest.
Except more hugs coming your way. :hug99: :bighug:
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
missfortissimo said:
Trouble is I then feel guilty about writing on my own. Feel like I'm burdening everyone else and not listening to them. It feels selfish. Some of you have so much going on too! My issues are nothing really. Thank you for the hugs though Molly. Hope you are well. x
Pommette said:
Thank you Bev. The course got way behind due to other pressures, and almost due to being out of practice of thinking in that way. I agree, it is extra pressure. But now I've committed I'd feel a hell of a lot worse if I gave up. I've caught up a lot this week, and by mid next week should be back completely on track. Thing is, that is my me thing. I'm doing it as otherwise my life would be work and housework. Not entirely true, but during the week and evenings it feels like that. And I could feel my brain turning to jelly which was frustrating. So I shall see how it goes. If it keeps being a problem after next week, I'll rethink.
Didn't get the bath last night no. By the time I'd done other jobs, my bed was far more attractive! But I'm having a sneaky soak now before the bairn wakes up. It's my half day wfh today. Going to hairdresser later to get my hair dyed (dark auburn, natural looking hopefully), so will take some work with me while I wait. I'm more relaxed when I'm doing something, if that makes sense.
I wrote loads in my journal yesterday though, it really is helping me clear my head. Think I said I've told my C I won't be going to class on Monday. Think she's got the hump with me as I help with the till. But sod her. She's not helping me with my work, I am putting my needs first there.
Worked out my naughty bit of millionaire shortbread was 21.5 syns. I was actually expecting more, so pleasantly surprised. Maybe I need to go to weekly syns for a while. A slightly different spin on it. But yeah, deciding not to go on Monday has def made me feel more at ease. I just can't face weighing in. I might go to class the following week, but not weigh in.
Beanie is at his Dad's a lot of this weekend, so I'm hoping to get a long run in tomorrow, then a shorter one on Sunday morning, with my sister who's on week 5 of the C25K. Haven't been since Sunday as I haven't had the time.
Beanie does do some jobs round the house (laundry for example), so he's helping a bit. Yesterday he was even being Mr Super Proactive too trying to help out. Don't suppose it'll last, so I'll take it while its on the table.
Anyway, must get on, my bath is going warm and I hear stirrings from the other room.
Thank you girls so much for stopping by and writing such lovely comments. And for the hugs too. Xxx
Maverick
Gold Member
Hey Pinkie - sorry I've missed your diary this week.
I agree with what missfortissimo and pomette have said, there is so much more to your life than sw, so there is no point feeling like it is something it isn't. You have been so successful up until now, and I'm sure you will get back into it fully again when you are ready, but don't pressure yourself or you will end up hating it.
I hope you can make time for yourself and get the balance right, full time work plus studying plus being a Mum doesn't leave much room for manouvre...
Sending you positive thoughts xxxxxxxxx
I agree with what missfortissimo and pomette have said, there is so much more to your life than sw, so there is no point feeling like it is something it isn't. You have been so successful up until now, and I'm sure you will get back into it fully again when you are ready, but don't pressure yourself or you will end up hating it.
I hope you can make time for yourself and get the balance right, full time work plus studying plus being a Mum doesn't leave much room for manouvre...
Sending you positive thoughts xxxxxxxxx
missfortissimo
addicted to minimins
What Pommette said!
pjallen1982
Gold Member
Hey honey,
Sorry i havent been here recently. I dont really have anything extra to say that hasnt been said already but just remember that you're doing an amazing job balancing everything at the moment. I struggle just to look after myself at times so i totally take admire you.
Maybe it is best just to chill about SW for a while. Carry on like you are with it in the back of your mind but not taking over your life and adding more stress.
I hope your runs have helped you de-stress slightly. Big hugs xxx
Sorry i havent been here recently. I dont really have anything extra to say that hasnt been said already but just remember that you're doing an amazing job balancing everything at the moment. I struggle just to look after myself at times so i totally take admire you.
Maybe it is best just to chill about SW for a while. Carry on like you are with it in the back of your mind but not taking over your life and adding more stress.
I hope your runs have helped you de-stress slightly. Big hugs xxx
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Just a quickie, let you know how I'm getting on sort of thing. Thank you Mave, Pom, Molly and Penny for your kind words.
Well paradoxically, since telling my C that I won't be going to WI on Monday, I've felt more relaxed about food/SW and whilst its only the past few days, I've stuck to the plan no probs and am feeling so motivated to succeed again. I will see how I feel as to whether I go the next week. Maybe I just needed the break from the weigh in aspect, like you all say. It takes some of the pressure off.
So good news, my sister has given me two gorgeous coats from her slimmer days, both a 16. I'm now a 16 in virtually everything now. When I started I was a 20 going on 22. So that's very pleasing. And these coats are so lovely and I now have a nice coat for going out in. Which leads me on to....
My Mum has agreed to do some sitting for me, so I can go out for some work events coming up over Christmas. Very exciting. I'm gonna treat myself to a frock too. I've never done that for Christmas before.
Going for a run in the morning, and then I'm gonna lock myself in and get this essay done. No other distractions and no excuses. Unless my pager goes off (like it did today).
So some positives there, I shall try count my blessings and focus on those sorts of things.
Xxx
Well paradoxically, since telling my C that I won't be going to WI on Monday, I've felt more relaxed about food/SW and whilst its only the past few days, I've stuck to the plan no probs and am feeling so motivated to succeed again. I will see how I feel as to whether I go the next week. Maybe I just needed the break from the weigh in aspect, like you all say. It takes some of the pressure off.
So good news, my sister has given me two gorgeous coats from her slimmer days, both a 16. I'm now a 16 in virtually everything now. When I started I was a 20 going on 22. So that's very pleasing. And these coats are so lovely and I now have a nice coat for going out in. Which leads me on to....
My Mum has agreed to do some sitting for me, so I can go out for some work events coming up over Christmas. Very exciting. I'm gonna treat myself to a frock too. I've never done that for Christmas before.
Going for a run in the morning, and then I'm gonna lock myself in and get this essay done. No other distractions and no excuses. Unless my pager goes off (like it did today).
So some positives there, I shall try count my blessings and focus on those sorts of things.
Xxx
Pommette
Trying - very!
Oh Pinkie - that is such good news. Both about you feeling better and having someone to sit for Beanie so you can have some time for you!
And yay for lovely new coats. I could seriously do with one of those. Wore my lovely warm snug / fleece last night and you could get you, me and the gate-post in it! Hey ho!
And yay for lovely new coats. I could seriously do with one of those. Wore my lovely warm snug / fleece last night and you could get you, me and the gate-post in it! Hey ho!
