***jessica rabbit diary - thread closed new one started ***

Wow Jess. What a soul searching post. You are really seeing how the weight/ diet stuff is affecting you and your family. That awareness is such an important step. Alas and so is the next bit which is the actual doing and I hope things get easier for you from this point on.

I don't feel like I've written enough to reply to your post as it was just so open but know you've been heard. x
 
thanks Laura really appreciate it.

You have hit the nail on the head I do know how much it affects my family and I have been so so conscious not to hide it but be VERY careful what I say infront of DD -

whenever I was having shake I was careful to say to them that I was having one of my special hot chocolates for adults that had all the vitamins in I needed to make me fit and healthy and they accepted it which is great.

We never talk about diets or having to lose weight but I now know that at 7 1/2 DD is becoming and will continue to become increasingly aware of diets and weight which scares the hell out of me.

We went out tin the car today just the 2 of us and I caught her out of the side of my eye looking at ther refletion in the window and pulling her tummy in and then letting it back out again.

My heart just sank especially because of the conversation we had had yesterday. My DD is not skinny, but she is not obese either. She has my apple body shape with the typical childs rounded tummy and Im just petrified she will end up like me with a REALLY bad relationship with food.

So this is it I need to do something to make sure it doesnt happen and as you say I am aware but I just dont know how to tackle it.

any ideas of how to would be appreciated - Greeneyes any tips or anyone else with daughters?

Aimed for a 100% day today - would say I have been 95 which is much better than the last few weeks so I am getting there. will aim for 100% again tomorrow.
x
 
Aw honey you are a brilliant mum and you have never let the children even know you are on any of your numerous diets so this informations she has picked up has definitely come from an outside influence. As you know I cant give you any advice but know you will do the right thing in the end as you always do.xxxx
 
Jessica Rabbit72 said:
thanks Laura really appreciate it.

You have hit the nail on the head I do know how much it affects my family and I have been so so conscious not to hide it but be VERY careful what I say infront of DD -

whenever I was having shake I was careful to say to them that I was having one of my special hot chocolates for adults that had all the vitamins in I needed to make me fit and healthy and they accepted it which is great.

We never talk about diets or having to lose weight but I now know that at 7 1/2 DD is becoming and will continue to become increasingly aware of diets and weight which scares the hell out of me.

We went out tin the car today just the 2 of us and I caught her out of the side of my eye looking at ther refletion in the window and pulling her tummy in and then letting it back out again.

My heart just sank especially because of the conversation we had had yesterday. My DD is not skinny, but she is not obese either. She has my apple body shape with the typical childs rounded tummy and Im just petrified she will end up like me with a REALLY bad relationship with food.

So this is it I need to do something to make sure it doesnt happen and as you say I am aware but I just dont know how to tackle it.

any ideas of how to would be appreciated - Greeneyes any tips or anyone else with daughters?

Aimed for a 100% day today - would say I have been 95 which is much better than the last few weeks so I am getting there. will aim for 100% again tomorrow.
x
Click to expand...

Don't blame yourself for this. My earliest memory of wanting to be skinnier was when I was about 6 and in my head I was making the 'dream' body based on one friends' legs, another's face etc. Weird?

Seriously, the best thing you can do is teach your daughter healthy eating habits, to try to learn when her heart is hungry or is her tummy hungry, and to exercise. A positive self image will get her far. Unfortunately it's the peer pressure, the magazines etc etc and of course 'boys' that trigger many feelings.

Honestly one of my biggest fears of having kids is that they'll end up with a ED/depression like I did.
 
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Awww Jess, it is awful when we feel we have given our children the wrong messages, but with dieting especially nowadays girls are more conscious of their bodies at a younger and younger age. Out of my 5 girls there is a very big difference in all their sizes. My eldest who is 26 has been heavy and has also lost weight, my next daughter down is heavily pregnant at the moment, but she is also larger than I was before I started the diet, then number 3 daughter is very skinny, similar to what I was at her age and she is always complaining that she is getting fat (which she isn't) she is 21, but is always having a go at me about not losing anymore weight, but I think this is because she doesn't want me to weigh the same as her... number 4 is also large, she is 16 and weighs more than 11 stone, she sometimes seems unhappy with her weight but not enough to do anything about it, and number 5 is 14 and skinny (well we are about the same size now) and she often asks about being fat and used to want to cut down her food say by cutting out breakfast but we explained that it doesn't help to lose weight if you cut out breakfast you need to eat more healthy. She now eats quite a lot of junk food outside the house and always has seconds when we have dinner in the evening. She is not so paranoid about her weight now.
I guess one of the reasons that we have not had too many problems with them wanting to lose weight is that I have never bought them the latest fashion clothes, so they dont have to keep up with their friends, I have always taught them to be individuals and they have all found their niche with fashion which isn't the same as everyone else, they all want to be different people and so dont have to keep up with their friends. I have always been on one diet or another, but I think most important is to all sit together in the evening so they can see that I eat healthily now, in fact I have totally changed the way we eat so everyone has to eat healthily, and that way they dont worry about their weight as much as they know they are eating healthy food and any junk is stuff they buy outside of the house. I wont let them have juice, they can only have water (some of them have issues with weak teeth so this is one of the reasons) and I dont have a house full of junky stuff, they all love fruit and I make sure I have a good selection every week, even my 6 and 8 year olds ask for fruit before they ask for chocolate bars. I have never bought them sweets (well on the rare occasion) although other people do buy sweets for them and they are allowed them (again the teeth issue more than the healthy issue here) and so they dont expect sweets and are happy with fruit. I know I am now rambling, but just trying to let you know how it works here and that I have had no serious issues, obviously every now and again something dietwise arises, but most of the time all the girls are happy with who they are. Hope this might help a bit.
 
Lots to think about here Jess. I think you can get really motivated again and posting a lot helps... hav you seen Laura's end of aug challenge? Even signing up for 2lbs would be a start?

And I am doing a 1000/1200 plan (veering between the two) and happy to buddy along with you, I think others are also, so we can all be in it together?

With the DD thing. As Greeneyes says, some girls will worry more than others, but all do have it in their heads, it is the world we live in. DD's pal is probably the one who has planted the seed of worry, not you. And your reaction seems just right. Keep it calm, keep focus on healthy eating, be positive and compliment her but don't make size something to 'praise'. Help her keep her self-esteem high.

My DD at 9 had to take some serious meds, and this went on till she was 13. She put on weight as a side effect and though never huge, went from skinny child to chubby preteen. It (along with the illness/condition the meds were treating) dented her confidence big style. It was hard to help her stay confident, hard to get her to believe in herself. She withdrew, got very moody teen-ish, and also seemed quite sad. Eventually she came off meds at 13 and the weight melted away, and the confidence began to grow, and she is a different child, the teen version of the sparky little girl she was. I know that this is more complex than just a weight thing, but in some ways it does apply. Sometimes you cannot take away the worry, just help to keep things calm and offer healthy foods and be positive and reassuring and boost confidence whenever possible.

My DD is now 15 & skinny, but it is having her confidence back a little that makes me so happy. She knows what I was doing with CD and is aware, I know, of what she eats, but also has time for treats and sweet things and isn't obsessive in her eating or diet-like. She does have two very weight conscious pals, one who may be borderline anorexic, and that is a worry... the world we live in is a very mixed up place.

Hugs Jess.

xxx
 
Hey everyone thanks for the input I really appreciate it.

Luckily I have had TOTM arrived today so I dont feel half as sensitive as I did over weekend about DD's weight and her body image.

Tonight I have been out with my kids and my DD's best friend, sister and Mum and we have had a good chin wag whilst the kids were playing.

Now DD's best friend is 'bigger' than my DD but is not obese she just takes after her Dad who is stocky if you know what I mean.

When I told my friend the story about my DD at the weekend she said oh dont worry I always get it here and we dont mention diets that word is banned here and we just talk about eating healthy but her DD is always sitting with ther arms folded across her tummy and is very self conscious about it.

So as much as I dont like DD's best friend being very self conscious I feel a bit relieved that my DD is not as conscious just yet.

I have had a 95% day again today - but I am proud to report I am upping my water intake instead of living on diet coke. The D.coke is starting to give me headaches which isnt good.

Work is becoming stressful again but Im off for 12 days from Friday so roll on 5.00 Thursday!!!

will try to check in tomorrow night but am off out with Julie for a girlie catch up with another of our friends so if I dont manage to get back on everyone have a good day and I will see you all on Thursday night
xxx
 
Hi Jess

I don't really know what to add to all that has been said as I don't have a daughter, and my little boy is only 20 months, but from what you have posted, it seems like you are being very thoughtful with your daughter and saying/doing all the right things.

Also, pleased to see you are getting back on track and upping the water intake too.

Have a lovely day xx
 
Ooh you are on holidays now - woohoo!!! Any plans?

I think your daughter is at the age where unfortunately they do start getting more self-conscious. I'm sure you are doing everything you can to help her. Does she play any sports?

DC is addictive stuff. It's my vice and not one that I miss until I start drinking it.

Happy holidays to you! x
 
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO

Im on holiday from work YYYIIIIIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEE

dont get me wrong I enjoy work, but it has been particularly stressful for a variety of reasons recently most of which I wont go into at the moment as I dont want to dampen my holiday spirit.

Do you know what its bluddy typical - I have had to wake my 2 every morning this week at 8.15 to go to holiday club - so last night I said right kids lie in as long as you want and then we can have a snuggle in my bed watchin tv as we dont have to rush anywhere - what time do you think DS got up and came into mine asking for tv

6.30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and DD - 6.40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just flippin typical - I suppose I should feel happy they want to come and snuggle - but an hour or two later would have been alot more ideal hey - ho.

Im pleased to report I now have a 95% finished downstairs cloakroom that just needs a blind, toliet roll holder and some draws all of which Im going to get today so by tomorrow it will be cleaned from dust and ready for action....... I know it probably sounds really stupid but ever since I moved in 2 years ago it has been the bane of my life because it was a gorgeous turquoise (not!) the original one from the 70's - it had laminate floor that the previous owner hadnt sealed properly and with lots of little boys weeing on the floor it had all seeped under the toilet so it always stank of stale wee no matter how much I bleached it cos I couldnt get under the toilet!

So now I have a tiled floor and a lovely 21st century looking cloakroom and Im so happy!!!!!!!! Little things eh?

Julie can confirm that Im not over-reacting! if I get chance today I may post a piccie of it.

My floor in my spare room is coming to be replaced also on Tuesday and the decorator will be coming on September 12th so things are starting to come together so Im not as stressed.

Im also starting to declutter the house AGAIN so Im feeling back in control now and nice happy bouncy Jess is back.

I hate the way PMT drags me down so much. lets hope these tablets work.

Diet wise Im okay -ish. I have mangaed to lose 2lbs since Saturday by cutting down. I always have a shake for breakfast but my eating has been a bit hit and miss with one thing and another, mainkly not having main meals but alot of snacking - have been keeping eye on calorie count within reason.

The other night when I went out with Julie I hadnt managed to have my tea and we went to the pub for a drink and I didnt order tea but we all had a pudding later on and mine came and it was MASSIVE.

Im pleased to say I probably ate a quarter to half and left the rest as I was full - which for me is unheard of.

Right Im off to do jobs now kids want breakfast and Im of for my marathon school shopping session so should be back later and with being off this next week Im going to make a big effort to get back into being on here to keep me on track!

will catch up with all your diaries later.

xxx
 
Glad to hear its all coming together honey, the house will look like a palace by the time you return to work xxxx
 
Wooow Jess you have been a busy busy bee.. Sounds like your house is looking fab you are going to have to show us some pics..
Good to see you about hon................ Missed you xxx
 
Hiya, can't wait to see your house pics... it all sounds very exciting. So nice to be off work, make the most of it :) Sounds like you're doing really well cd wise... good work.

Have a lovely day xxx
 
Hope you are enjoying your time off work and the diet is going well... take care x
 
Hellooooooooooooooooo everyone - have just got 10 mins before HB needs to go to bed for work and my pc is temporarily for tonight in our room as the men are coming to replace my spare room floor tomorrow YYYIIIIIPEEEE, Things are slowly coming together which Im pleased about.

School shopping was a bluddy nightmare - spent a flippin fortune and the kids really have no idea or appreciation and mucked around the whole time!

Have done quite a few things over the weekend and kept decluttering.
I had a list as long as my arm this morning of things I NEED to do this week with being off and managed to get some of them done today luckily.

Diet wise - WELL................... On the down side I havent been exactly sticking to plan and I could come up with every excuse in the book, but there would be no point really in that yes I have been under stress had horrendous PMT etc etc etc - but everyone else has that and doesnt turn to food!

I have been to see my CDC tonight and she was ace. She helped me really take on board that I am the only one responsible for my being in control and yes I am in control and I control everything I do etc and I should have to live with the consequences etc etc. which I have always known but the rebel in me just wants to eat what I want, when I want and how and if I want to - unfortunately it is usually crappy food as oppposed to healthy that I want.

Anyway on the up side looking back at my charts (cos I'm a saddo daily weigher) for the 5 weeks of the summer holidays I have actually managed to maintain within about 2lbs in that it would be up one week and then down the next and I have done this by curbing my eating or indulging the craving - so I have proved to myself that I can actually maintain I just need to do it 2st - 3st lighter and with healthier food.

I have been managing to use the pause (sometimes) and also another big thing for me stopping when I am full rather than feeling like I have to clear my plate and I have also been using a smaller plate so I feel like Im having more.

Ive also made a chart that KD suggested of doing a chain and mine is for 50 days and the aim is to be 100% for 50 days which will take me to my hospital appointment and then I will do another one which will see me through to my birthday and then it will only be 4 weeks till xmas!!!!!!

My overall aim now is going to be to be in healthy weight range for xmas so Ive got to get 2st off which on 1500 should be doable in the time.

Tomorrow Im going to go back and read my original diary to give myself the kick up the bum I need to get me to and keep me on track.

I'm aiming on doing a daily diary entry again aswell as that kept me in check last time.

sorry I dont have time to reply on all your diaries tonight as HB now wanting sleep but I hope you are all okay and I will be around tomorrow.
xxxx
p.s. pics of my new downstairs loo!!!

 
Lovely to see you on here. love the new loo, thanks for posting the pics. Adore the tiles :)

Well done for maintaining this summer. You'll do fab for sure. sleep well and see you really soon xxx
 
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