Thank you guys, for all your lovely and thoughtful answers. I think there is truth in all you say and it's also reassuring that so many of us feel the same. I will check Anja's diary an keep coming back to all your comments here for inspiration. Yes, it's all linked to emotional eating and feeling like food is a reward and the triggers (red wine with crisps, coffee and something sweet...), you are all so right. I just haven't found a way to deal with it yet.
Caro, interested to hear how you go with paleo, it makes sense to me too. I do think I want to give conso a proper chance though, as despite having been doing it for about 5 weeks now (in theory, I actually don't think I've done it properly for even one full day), I do want to be able to get to the point where I can eat a piece of fruit, a small amount of bread and cheese in a day and then stop.
I felt so great when I wasn't drinking, like you say Sara, even though yes, it was dull at times. But now it's sort of half allowed sometimes, the thought of 7 weeks booze free seems impossible. So funny how easy it is to get out of the zone huh? Plus, my daily diet has been horrific these last few days - barely anything nutritious, just sweet stuff and crisps and booze basically. Aaargh.
In terms of an update then, things went from bad to worse the last few days! Tuesday I over-indulged, yesterday was worse and today was going the same way....until I read up on lots of your diaries and just thought, no, I'm being ridiculous, I need to get back on the wagon NOW. So although I was heading home with thoughts of a cocktail and some snacks then Dukan dinner and probably some chocolate or ice cream, I realised I was actually full from the snacking in the day and that if I resisted, I would feel so much better, better than the feeling of eating all that.
I'm going out tomorrow night but will do Dukan all day then see what happens without beating myself up. I know if I can stay in control in the day, I've a good chance of staying in control in the evening, even if I have a few drinks. This weekend I need to think long and hard about what I've learned so far, the good stuff but also need to figure out why I am letting myself sabotage my good efforts and why I have slipped so quickly back to old eating patterns.
It's not too late though. I weighed 8st 6.2lb this morning which is up almost 2lbs on my lowest weight on Monday, but for sure could be worse.
Bottom line: thank you ALL for your diaries and posts here, which have acted as a virtual kick up the bum and got me back on track, at least for now.
Wish me luck!
Joodle(bob) xx
PS No! Nothing happened with the 22 year old, we were just out drinking!!! Sheesh, am old enough to be his Mum! And yeah, sorry, internet dating hasn't happened. No time at all until a few days ago. I know, I know, I'm rubbish. Still need to find decent pics where you can actually see what I look like.... Excuses, excuses, you don't have to tell me.....
