Jules LL Diary

[gracielou09]

Embarrassing Fat Bodies ...omg!! is anyone watching or watched it!!!!!!!!

 

[LadyT]

Omg I think I actually love robbie!! Blow him a big kiss from me xx

Yep EB omg seriously some of those conditions shouldn't be allowed on tv!!

Have a fab night tomorrow xx

 

[gracielou09]

Omg I think I actually love robbie!! Blow him a big kiss from me xx

Yep EB omg seriously some of those conditions shouldn't be allowed on tv!!

Have a fab night tomorrow xx

Yes I think i love him now too.....Is it wrong to have a crush at 41?????

Wow what a show, 3 concerts in one actually! one with the 4 members of Take That, then Robbie on his own and then all 5 of them. Robbie was awesome and got so excited he split his trousers - very funny - he dropped his trs too, lots of camera's went off then I can tell you!!!

Mark Owen made a request for us to sing to him ....The Welsh National Anthem ...wow I had goosebumps when everyone started singing!! Awesome.

My mum loved it too which was great, shattered today. Wish i had tickets for tonight ...thats me all over ...greedy lol

WI tonight and I'm not looking forward to it, havent been completely focused. But looking forward to a fresh week with a fresh new start.

xxxx
xxxxxx

 

[Julz]

Good luck with ur weighin tonight, sounds like it was a fab evening!
Jx

 

[gracielou09]

Its was great thanks Julz

Just for you Lady T

 

[LadyT]

Good luck tonight hunny!

OMG he is lush, I want him lol. The show sounds amazing, I had goosebumps just thinking about you all singing the welsh national anthem. We used to have to sing it in school I am sure I made the words up though lol xx

 

[HannahNewton]

Embarrassing Fat Bodies ...omg!! is anyone watching or watched it!!!!!!!!

Caught up online - eek!! xx

 

[gracielou09]

Well I stayed the same ...surprised really as I've been on a cake fest these last few days. Angry with myself as I couldn’t understand what was going on.....couple of us in class had stayed the same so rather than start the new module 'Messages' we decided to talk about what was going on for us. I was honest and said I just didn’t understand why I was eating cake!! My LLC said "so you don’t know why?" As if I should. Then she said "does fear come into this?" ....lighbulb moment...she explained that I'm trying to be blasé about me addressing my fear in water when in actual fact I should acknowledge the fact that its a pretty major thing I’m doing in trying to overcome it. I have said that I was more nervous in the pool second time round and she said that’s normal and my fear in a way is getting worse because I'm challenging myself to overcome the depth (which is probably the real issue). What do we do when we are scared, look for comfort....and eat! I got really upset (felt sooooooooo stupid, my father has a lot to answer for) especially as there were newbie’s there, what must they think!!!
This journey is fast becoming more and scarier for me as it’s peeling away layers I don’t want to be peeled away! Things I thought I had dealt with I obviously haven’t...but that’s a whole other story. I need to compartmentalise and put things in boxes again!! There's a jack in my boxes at the moment and I don’t like it lol

I've decided to speak with my swimming instructor, I want to stay at the depth I'm in at the moment, get to grips with the breathing and stamina and just build on my confidence as I am at the moment. For me my ultimate aim is 'if I can stand in it I can swim in it'...not bothered about swimming out of my depth etc I think that will come over time. I just need to take a step back. I'm not giving up I just need to slow it down I guess.

I still feel crap about getting upset, if it was my normal group it wouldn’t have been so bad but the poor newbie’s bless 'em

So today, I'm full of enthusiasm and back on track, now that I know why I went off the wagon.

xxxx

 

[LadyT]

Hey gorgeous, so you had a cake fest, its gone now and definately onwards and dowenwards, you are soooooo close to your goal, you can do this, no actually we can do this.

As for your swimming decision, definately the right one, you dont want to scare yourself by going out of your depth, I am sure your instructor will understand when you explain why.

Dont worry about getting upset it means in front of the newbies, they will go through the same emotions further into the plan, its good in a way its almost like and acceptance of things. Well done my lovely lady xxxxxx

 

[gracielou09]

Hey gorgeous, so you had a cake fest, its gone now and definately onwards and dowenwards, you are soooooo close to your goal, you can do this, no actually we can do this.

As for your swimming decision, definately the right one, you dont want to scare yourself by going out of your depth, I am sure your instructor will understand when you explain why.

Dont worry about getting upset it means in front of the newbies, they will go through the same emotions further into the plan, its good in a way its almost like and acceptance of things. Well done my lovely lady xxxxxx

Thanks huni, yes WE CAN DO THIS!!!

 

[gracielou09]

Beeen 100% for the last 2 days but I must of knocked myself out of ketosis, tired and headachy ...silly Julia!!! Ah well its all a learning curve. I've learnt not to come out of ketosis ...not worth it with only a stone to go.

My aim for this month is to be 100% Abstinent and make a dent in the stone!

And they got cakes in work...they are calling to me "Julia, Julia we taste lovely ...you need a cake cos you feel tired" lol

But, I'm not doing it, they can go get lost!!! I have a angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other...arguing!!!

Seriously I think i've lost the plot today

Coffee, coffee I need you....oooo and a nice bit of cake (Devil)...get behind me satan (Angel)

LMAO, only joking ladies

xxxxx

 

[LadyT]

Aw good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour and that you are so focused.

Your stone will soon be gone, you will see! Are you going to do RTM?

Have a lovely evening hun xxxx

 

[Clarabow]

Jules you are doing so well with things, very proud of you. It's soo hard sometimes to see where the the emotion is comming from,after all we have pushed them down for many years with food.

Last stone eh ... way to go ! Give it a good kicking x

 

[Catthin]

Well done for facing your fear and getting back in control of it.You can win ,give the Devil a quick shove so he falls off your shoulder and give the angel a big hug shes your friend lol.
Take care
Cathy

 

[LadyT]

Hey hun hope you are well xxxxx

 

[gracielou09]

Aw good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour and that you are so focused.

Your stone will soon be gone, you will see! Are you going to do RTM?

Have a lovely evening hun xxxx

Ah thanks hun, I have to have a sense of humour otherwise I'd go mad. My body seems to be craving food really badly, ate a couple of mini doughnuts (the little tiny ones with the hole) ate about 5 just standing in the kitchen. naughty!!! but then sunday I was fine. What is going on!

xxxx

 

[gracielou09]

Jules you are doing so well with things, very proud of you. It's soo hard sometimes to see where the the emotion is comming from,after all we have pushed them down for many years with food.

Last stone eh ... way to go ! Give it a good kicking x

Aw thanks huni, yeah years and years of burying stuff. Also, when i was younger I'm not ashamed to say but we really were not well off so cakes and such were a bit of a luxury in our house. So now I can ahve them when I want then I've just overdosed over the years and have a bit of a sweet tooth esp a certain time of the month lol. xx

 

[gracielou09]

Well done for facing your fear and getting back in control of it.You can win ,give the Devil a quick shove so he falls off your shoulder and give the angel a big hug shes your friend lol.
Take care
Cathy

Thanks hun, I ahve kicked the devil off the shoulder but he is lurking in the shadows just waiting for a weak moment lol x

Hey, look at you with your stone WL ..bloomin brill hun xxx

 

[gracielou09]

Hey hun hope you are well xxxxx

Hey you!

I'm soooooooooo tired. Mario and I did Cheshka's bedroom on weekend. Nightmare with the wallpaper (bloody Next) thankgod it was only for the one wall. But all done now and she loves it. We did it for her 8th birthday. A little more grown up and ready for her sleepover ...think I need to get some Valium for that hahaha. How's you chick? I must catch up on your diary...off to have a looksee xxxxx

 

[gracielou09]

So tired today, spent all weekend doing Boo's bedroom. Painted walls ceiling, glossed (thankgod Ma did that), wall papered the one wall, cleaned furniture, washed and pressed new bedding, curtains, cleaned carpet and thinned everything out!! We had a major nightmare with the wallpaper from next. Put half a roll up and then opened the 2nd roll ready, noticed there was a flaw in the pattern! Complained to next who were very unhelpful and basically couldnt give a toss. appreciated they couldnt do anything but some appreciation of the frustration wouldnt have gone a miss! So ended up ripping all the wallpaper off and ringing round next shops to try and find 3 rolls of the same paper with teh same batch number. We rushed to Next, looking like hillbillies ( I managed to stay in the car hahaha, while Ma run in to get it). So by time I complained to next then rung round shops, picked up new rolls and got back to house put us back about 3 hrs as we had to drive to flippin cardiff!! anyways we got there in the end and Boo loves her new bedroom....thnkgod she gave the reaction she did otherwise I wouldnt have been pleased lol! I keep walking in tehre to look at it - how sad. One room down, just need to freshen up the rest of the rooms now. Have come to work for a rest!

Sat I found hard, dont know whether it was cos I was doing more activity than normal but had a craving for sweet stuff again! But Sunday was fine and today I feel fine. I think sometimes our body just needs sugar . lol

xxxxxx