kandy
Silver Member
Well i was going to not bother starting my weightloss diary until new year but much damage dould be done before then !
I figure having a record of how i feel now will benefit me when i start to count down to ss and i will !!!!!!!!!!
Today i went to town with my january sales savings (yes i do that, sad i know)
I bought a jumper and some boots and 2 beanbags i had saved enough to buy a whole new wardrobe full of beautiful clothes then realised only bought beanbags and my 2 daughters clothes boots games etc because i am fat and clothes shopping for moi is like going to the dentist ( i dread going and then it costs me a fortune and there is very little to show for it ) It was far easier to spend on them !
Also i didn't go out ,No christmas parties meals pub crawls i made my excuses and stayed home !
New years eve i am having a party indoors as i am to fat to go out ??!!!??
I am not bingeing because me and food have fallen out pretty much as i fell out with food last christmas !
I could be dramatically smaller by my birthday may 18th 2007 so my aim is to step down to ss and lose 4 stone at least before i am 31 .
I am ashamed of me i am embarrassed for my daughters and i am missing out on things with them that i don't want to and i can't bear my husband to touch me my skin is terrible i feel bloated and depressed and i have mood swings that are driving us all nuts !
I am not writing this down for self pity i am lucky there isn't one of those things that i can't change . S i am gonna and when i feel downhearted i will come back to page one and remind myself why this is important to me .
JULIE LOVE YOURSELF IT'S TIME !!!!
I figure having a record of how i feel now will benefit me when i start to count down to ss and i will !!!!!!!!!!
Today i went to town with my january sales savings (yes i do that, sad i know)
I bought a jumper and some boots and 2 beanbags i had saved enough to buy a whole new wardrobe full of beautiful clothes then realised only bought beanbags and my 2 daughters clothes boots games etc because i am fat and clothes shopping for moi is like going to the dentist ( i dread going and then it costs me a fortune and there is very little to show for it ) It was far easier to spend on them !
Also i didn't go out ,No christmas parties meals pub crawls i made my excuses and stayed home !
New years eve i am having a party indoors as i am to fat to go out ??!!!??
I am not bingeing because me and food have fallen out pretty much as i fell out with food last christmas !
I could be dramatically smaller by my birthday may 18th 2007 so my aim is to step down to ss and lose 4 stone at least before i am 31 .
I am ashamed of me i am embarrassed for my daughters and i am missing out on things with them that i don't want to and i can't bear my husband to touch me my skin is terrible i feel bloated and depressed and i have mood swings that are driving us all nuts !
I am not writing this down for self pity i am lucky there isn't one of those things that i can't change . S i am gonna and when i feel downhearted i will come back to page one and remind myself why this is important to me .
JULIE LOVE YOURSELF IT'S TIME !!!!