Kira's Diary (Re-start Day 5)

[Katycakes]

OK... take it easy though. Running on SS is not recommended, is it? Could stall your losses if you put your body under too much strain, KD was talking about this a while ago. Better wait till 1000 for serious exercise, just gentle toning on SS & 810. Also, lots of us do feel tired on SS, so few cals coming in... so best sometimes to listen to your body!

Sorry if this seems negative, don't mean it to be... you're doing so well and am so proud of you!

xxx

 

[Kira]

Day 39
Thanks Katy! I can't quite beleive something "clicked" after all those failed re-starts and I am now on day 39 with no cheating! (Mmh! except 2 bars in one day!) Perhaps I should try walking instead of running? I just feel I need to do something because I feel great during the day and as soon as I get in I am exhausted and want to go to bed shortly after the kids!

Going to be a busy day, seeing CDC, taking kids swimming, tennis lessons, then dropping them home and back into town to have my hair cut! Haven't been to the hairdresser's since June I think! I am looking like a hippy with flat long hair! Going to enjoy sitting flicking through mags, at the salon and having time to myself away from work, darling kids and husband! Just me time! Bliss! Sad I know, the highlight of my life sitting with damp hair in a hair salon! (Albeit a very fancy one!) Hope everyone has a successful Saturday on their respective diet plans!

 

[Kira]

Day 40!! Can't believer I have managed to get this far. I really think once the first 10 days are out of the way it helped me to get this far. The fear of undoing all my good work, all my effort and obsessing and a little bit of being selfish and jus thikning of "me" has got me this far. My biggest challenge has been not caving in to make either myself feel better with food but also not allowing others to make me feel quilty when I have chosen not to eat and stick to plan.

This time on CD I have not hidden the fact I am on CD and whilst I have not been shouting from the rooftops I am on a meal replacedment diet, I have not tried to hide it either. I am prepared for negative comments and will be able to handle them. I am also conscious once my weightloss becomes more visible that people, will think I will put it all back on. However, this time I am seeing that as a challenge. I am going to use it as an 'aid' to help me through maintenance. Seeing it as a challenge will help me control what I eat when I start introducing food again.

Hope to confirm a successfuly completed day 40!

 

[Kira]

Completed day 40.

Day 41 hoping to complete another day successfully. Feeling a bit low as has to take husband to hospital. He is doing ok.

 

[Kira]

Days 41 and 42 completed successfully.

Day 43 weigh-in this morning and lost only 1 1/2 lbs!! I just don't understand? I stuck to SS? over the last week I had 4 Cranberry bars so not sure whether they have slowed my loss down? Going to avod having any this week. I am really disappointed. However, not going to cave in. I almost caved in yesterday as I felt hungry/needed food but that could have been because I was feeling stressed. I am wondering if I didn't perhaps drink enough water and that is why I didn't lose up to at least 2lbs?

 

[Katycakes]

Glad it is going well... I am in london, but hanging on by a thread!

xxx

 

[Kira]

Hi Katy, keep hanging on don't let you. If you do don't worry enjoy your break and start afresh when you get back! xx

Days 43 and 44 completed no problem, simply stuck to the routine.

Day 45 doing well just having second CD pack of veg soup. Still haven't been able to go running but managed to get out for a long walk yesterday. Disappointed with week 6 weigh in loss on Wednesday, only one and half pounds! I stuck to SS and if was after TOTM!? Just don't understand. I don't think at this rate I will get near anywhere near losing 14 pounds by end of October. Just don't understand Cambridge say average loss on SS is a stone a month? Have I misunderstood? Will speak to CDC about it.

 

[flowey]

Don't panick. Over my time on cd I've had poor losses where nothing seems to move. Then one morning you get up and feel the difference. Not sure why it has to stick for a few days before suddenly shifting. You'd think it'd be a little each day but seems to differ, all catches up in the end I promise.
Wait till next weigh-in and get measured, you'll see it in one of those I promise.

You've just really inspired me on a different note. I'm on here on day 3 trying to keep motivation after seriously thinking about quitting tonight. Instead I saw you wrote not long back 'it seems getting past day 10 was the turning point'. I've said this before when on the diet and doing well. You've made me not quit tonight and stick it out until at least day 10 - so for that thankyou. I'm off to read your thread from the begining now!
Ta

 

[Kira]

Flowey thanks for your post! I'm touched that I have inspired you! I swear, if I can get to day 46 on CD after so many failed re-starts for months on end anyone can. I honestly think if one can get through the first 10 days it becomes so much easier, though the odd evenings can be difficult but it's focusing on not undoing all the hard work that gets me through the evening, and going to bed early!

 

[flowey]

Again from my other thread thank you. I've had a much better day today and am looking to the 10 days! Seeing others go for so long after failed re-starts gives me the confidence to follow in there footsteps!
Good luck to you, I'll be watching you!

 

[Kira]

Day 46 completed.

Day 47 feeling focused this morning and less scared. Found yesterday rather difficult and I think it was because I was worried about going onto the 810 plan. I kept thinking about the allowed foods on 810 which in turn my me think about food and a fear of it triggering overeating and slowing down losses even further. Spoke to CDC and she has agreed I can SS only until Wednesday so I can mentally prepare myself to introduce food on the 810 plan. Feel much more comfortable about that. My daily weigh in which keeps me going showed a 2lb loss since Wednesday's weigh so think Week 7 weigh on Wed 21 Oct will be better than last week's loss. Today's thought for the day/week "I'm not going to give in to myself".

 

[flowey]

Well done Kira! I'll also be moving to 810 before too long and am do also really nervous. Not sure that the weight loss is sooo different to ss or ss+, it's just the thought of food again for me.
Maybe its the unknown, how much and how we do it. I mean I know what time to have my shakes so that they are even through the day and I have something for my danger times. But not sure when to add the food bit, in two lots or one and where the shakes go???
I think if you plan it a little spacing out the food etc.. and write almost a food diary it will be easier to cope with.
I'm hoping 810 will give me a burst of energy and I'll actually burn off more cals because I'll be more active. Worked in the garden today and had to keep stopping because it just wore me out so easily.

You'll be fine with a bit of planning, then in a couple/few weeks you can tell me how to do it!

 

[Kira]

Flowey I will definitely be doing 810 from Wednesday. I have to get it right. Either way I hope my success or mistakes will help you keep on track too.

Day 47 completed. Started off focused but by the afternoon I was exhausted, light headed and felt very hungry. At one point I thought I was going to collapse. Was tempted to have food allowed on 810 but didn't as my plan was to start on Wednesday. I literally got through it minute by minute. Between 3pm to 6 felt was so difficult. How did I get through it? Told myself I could have second shake at 6 and kept drinking water whilst browsing this forum. (Still rubbish at technical stuff, how to track posts, threads etc). What got me through was Blonde Logic's stream of consciousness/diary thread on the LL forum. What another amazing woman. I didn't get through it all but it was almost like reading a book. It had me hooked. I can't thank her enough for being so frank and honest. Such and inspiration. I understood and related to many things she said. If anyone reads this and has a low moment, a moment of throwing in the towel, read one of the inspiring diaries of those who have lost weight and maintained successfully.

Day 48 again starting off very focused but have to admit I still feel very tired. I have never got back into the running I did in August, a stone and half heavier. All I have managed are a few 30 minutes walks. Once I am on 810 I want to try and regain some sort of fitness level. Here's to a good day I hope.

 

[Kira]

Day 49 almost complete. A good day insofar as I didn't experience hunger pangs and light headedness. Looking forward to weigh day tomorrow. I can't quite beleive I have lost 21 pounds so far and that I have stuck to CD without sneaking a nibble or taste of the kids leftovers!

 

[Katycakes]

You're a star. Amazing what we can do when our heads are in the right place... yay Kira!

xxx

 

[Kira]

Day 50 weigh day (21/10/09) lost 2 1/2 pounds. Happy with the loss but think my losses are not as good as last year as I have not started exercising. I am going to try and go for a 'run' this evening though don't expect to get far as it's been almost 2 months since I last went running. I will have to build up my stamina slowly.

A cumulative loss of 22 1/2 pounds since 2 September. Moving onto 810 plan today though can't see myself having the half pint of skimmed milk as I take black coffee and haven't been drinking tea for ages. Feeling positive about getting through another day of CD without falling of the waggon and stuffing myself with food I can't taste (what I have done in the past!). However, I feel so impatient. I want to lose the next stone quickly and really had hoped to lose 3 stones by the beginning of December which I'm not sure I will unless I get back into exercising? Will give it ago. The dark nights don't help! By the time I get back from work, sort out the kids it's practically dark outside! Husband is supportive and said he will come out for walk/run this evening, whatever I can manage! So I have no excuse! Hope everyone is feeling positive today and get's through their respective diet plans.

 

[Katycakes]

I am being very lazy on the exercise front and know I have to bite the bullet, so am with you on this. I think you've done great Kira, so good luck on 810!

xxx

 

[Kira]

Thanks Katy! So far exercise has consisted of walking a mile and a half so think I need to up this!

Day 51 almost complete. Happy with the 810 plan so far. Scale show a loss from yesterday and I am still in ketosis! I found myself really full yesterday and I'm glad I had the meal at lunch time. I didn't manage milk as I take my coffee black. Feeling so positive about sticking to this and there is no way I will let anything or anyone (including myself!) jeopardise the hard work to get this far! If anyone reading this is thinking of throwing in the towel don't. If I can do this after so many re-starts, anyone can stick to it!

The only thing that concerns me is that I have become obsessed about CD! I think, 'eat' and sleep it! I even wake up thinking about CD and what gets me out of bed is the excitement of getting on the scales everyday! (Sad I know!) But even when I stay the same weight for three or four days, it still keeps me going.

 

[Katycakes]

Glad it is going well. I remember at that stage being exactly the same, obsessed, and I think that is a good thing. It keeps us focused and in the zone. I saw (still do really) CD as my saviour, rescuing me from unhappiness and obesity. I need to remember that, and make sure I keep putting in the maintainance work now to make sure I stay 'rescued'.

Go Kira... you are racing along!

xxx

 

[Kira]

Day 51 completed.

Day 52 almost complete! I went for my first run since the end of August and re-starting CD! I feel great! I didn't quite manage a mile but think I did approximately half a mile! Need to check on Map my Run. I have to say, I did push myself. I was ready to give up after the first 500 yards! I am well pleased with myself! So now I finally plucked up the courage to run (I think I've been too scared as I was worried I couldn't do it!) I think I can get back into it. I am hoping a bit running combined with 810 will keep the losses coming.

Katycakes thank you so much for always managing to drop me a post! I really appreciate your encouragement! I'm so busy theseday I only just manage to post on my diary thread and have a quick read on the forum and then the kids want something or I am just too tired I need to go to bed! I am so looking forward to receiving more support when I get to maintenance and like you, I feel scared about reaching that point.