LeaE's Jelly Wobble

[LeaE]

Hi. All is slowly returning to normal-he went back to nursery today so hopefully all will go well there. Feel pretty motivated at the mo on this diet. Wish i could have a set target but i won't really know how much i need to lose till i get there. Depends when my legs decide to get thinner i suppose. Have decided to celebrate being the lightest that i have been for longer than i can remember by taking Monday off work and going for a hot stone massage-can't wait. One day i might even go shopping for some clothes that actually fit-not brave enough yet as i have always hated shopping-always depresses me. Hope you are all ok-bloody hell girls-we have been doing this diet for weeks-yay us! X x x

Ha ha ha i can't agree with that post more x I'm thinking I want to go clothes shopping to see what's out there but I still hate it lol all the dread and fear is still there in the back of my mind x so glad yr boys ok x

 

[vadey]

I've been shopping today in preparation for my little Hol. Bought two nice maxi dresses and I really feel nice in them. I've been trying for weeks to get a nice swim suit and they are all shocking without spending a fortune! X

 

[Vjdisme]

I've been shopping today in preparation for my little Hol. Bought two nice maxi dresses and I really feel nice in them. I've been trying for weeks to get a nice swim suit and they are all shocking without spending a fortune! X

Dorothy Perkins had a lovely one 23 quid , black with a flowery shoulder . Also look for tankinis Asda do some lovely ones x

 

[LeaE]

I've been shopping today in preparation for my little Hol. Bought two nice maxi dresses and I really feel nice in them. I've been trying for weeks to get a nice swim suit and they are all shocking without spending a fortune! X

Oohhhh congrats missy do we get a look ?!?

 

[LeaE]

Oh gosh what an absolute nightmare ! Thank the lord for my diary ! Worked so hard today and came home to hassle from the bf and family ! His dad has discharged himself and is still stuck in lanzarote needing an op with no fit to fly signature he is threatening to board a plane ! His mother and sister are gormless if that's how u spell it and my bf is just lashing out at me refusing my help but blaming me for everything just short of world hunger ! Jesus I gotta say I hate my bf family they cause stress and upset whatever day of the week it is and make every single situation 10000x worse than it started ! Discharging himself means he has signed his insurance away so no costs covered which is 7k up to now and now the insurance don't have to help him get home he can't fly doesn't have the health medication nor treatment he needs and they just won't listen to common sense ! It makes me begrudge helping them from 4pm onwards I have spent my time ringing the British embassy in England and Spain running round travel agents to try and get alternative transport and trying to reason with them to see sense that putting him thousands of feet in the air is not a good idea right now on top of that taking all the crap from Steven ! And u know what ! Not one thank u from my bf his mum his dad nor sister shocked ? No not one bit because they are vile narrow minded clef centred disruptive stupid selfish judgemental twats ! There I said it twats ! Never in my life have I really felt so frustrated and pissed at a whole family in my life and I know if anyone reads this they think I'm horrid but the lot of them have called me every name going slated me on fb accused me of the most radic things and blamed me for messes they created judged me without so much as talking to me oohhhh the list is endless and now they want me to sort this and not one of them has said oh thanks for that infact none of them has even directly asked nicely it's just expected I sort it because I'm with there son dispite the victimisation ! Aahhhhhhh it's got to the point where I wish I never met my bf and to be truely honest I'm not sure I can be with him because it means putting up with their drama and bull for the rest of my life and quite frankly I think I would prefer to be a lonely old cat woman ! I mean really ! If I ever did marry him I wouldn't want them anywhere near it because they would cause some kind of fight or issue and if that's how I feel because I do hate them if I'm honest about it ! I couldn't ask that of my bf but I don't think I want to ask that of myself to put up with them for the rest of my life it would be complete torcher and I know they would cause argument between me and him as they already have ! Oh it's such a mess ! I can't deal with any of this right now as his dad has to come first but once he's home and in the clear it's something I really need to consider !
Spoke to an old cd friend today she's on ww now and lost 11lbs and weighs 15st 8 really pleased for her but also abit jealous as I soooo want to be there x I'm not really a jealous person must be the crap I have had today but I could t help judge she's 1st 7lbs lighter than me and I just don't feel I will ever catch her up as every time she loses I lose but the gap never seems to close ! How awful is that ! Also a lady at school wants to do cd and I'm taking her Monday and she told me her weight is above 20st and I'm ashamed as I was so happy I weigh less than her ! Today has turned me into an awful person I'm mortified by what I'm thinking and how I feel towards ppl and I can't blame cd because I'm well settled into it now and it's disgusting all what I just wrote but think I better write it so I snap myself out of this awful frame of mind
I have had a bath and climbed in bed I just want to sleep today away ! I do hope I'm more mature and strong and mentally sound tomorrow as I just feel really destructive and that's making me feel isolated ! I hate this feeling it's bad v v bad !

 

[WillpowerWoman]

Oh Leanne I'm so sorry you r having such a terrible time. U r a lovely person so for u to be as cross as u r they must be pretty awful. Think again tomorrow with a clear head and like u say when the bf dad drama is over may be sit down and have a good long chat with your bf about his family your relationship how they treat u etc, no one has the right to make u feel like crap ok no one xxxxx

 

[LeaE]

Oh Leanne I'm so sorry you r having such a terrible time. U r a lovely person so for u to be as cross as u r they must be pretty awful. Think again tomorrow with a clear head and like u say when the bf dad drama is over may be sit down and have a good long chat with your bf about his family your relationship how they treat u etc, no one has the right to make u feel like crap ok no one xxxxx

Thank u hunny sensible kind words ! Will do xc night love hope yr ok x how's it going ?

 

[WillpowerWoman]

Feeling not that great tbh, hurt by a comment on my diary recently ;( I love and trust my bf. Anyway diet wise I'm okay on SS+ and seems to be working well. xxxx

 

[Zest for Life]

Feeling not that great tbh, hurt by a comment on my diary recently ;( I love and trust my bf. Anyway diet wise I'm okay on SS+ and seems to be working well. xxxx

I hope it wasn't mine??? X
The deleted one, x

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[WillpowerWoman]

I hope it wasn't mine??? X
The deleted one, x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

No it wasn't yours xxx

 

[WillpowerWoman]

Someone said in response to my marriage children post that they wouldn't have children with someone they didn't trust.

But i didn't say I didn't trust him far from it!

 

[WillpowerWoman]

Sorry to gatecrash your Diary Leanne x

 

[Zest for Life]

Someone said in response to my marriage children post that they wouldn't have children with someone they didn't trust.

But i didn't say I didn't trust him far from it!

It's just their interpretation of what you wrote. I wouldn't let it bother you. It's your life, you do what's best for you!!
Right, we need to toughen you up!!!
I can't understand why that would upset you???
We need to remember, this is not real life, the people are not our friends in real life and if we leave a post it's open to interpretation and criticism from others.
Hun, she could have been through a break up or be anti men, who knows who Is reading our diaries xxx
You'll be fine xxx

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[WillpowerWoman]

It's just their interpretation of what you wrote. I wouldn't let it bother you. It's your life, you do what's best for you!!
Right, we need to toughen you up!!!
I can't understand why that would upset you???
We need to remember, this is not real life, the people are not our friends in real life and if we leave a post it's open to interpretation and criticism from others.
Hun, she could have been through z break up or be anti men, who knows who I'd reading our diaries xxx
You'll be fine xxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Lol well that made me laugh at least

I know I drive my mum and close friends mad with this 'taking stuff to heart' thing I need to chill!

It upset me because they think I don't trust him but I do (actualy sounds silly now I'm typing it out ) eek!

 

[Zest for Life]

Lol well that made me laugh at least

I know I drive my mum and close friends mad with this 'taking stuff to heart' thing I need to chill!

It upset me because they think I don't trust him but I do (actualy sounds silly now I'm typing it out ) eek!

What does it matter though what she thinks? ???
You don't even know her lol xxx

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[LeaE]

Whooow I'm real I'm here what I write in my diary is honest and exactly what I mean ! The ppl I write to on here the concern help and friendship I offer is real ! I don't sit behind a computer spouting **** because I'm not face to face I in actual fact mean all I write and while I'm sure what u wrote was true to some and I agree she should shrug stupid comments like that off I assure you that what I write to ppl on here who I consider friends is honest and true and as stated earlier would love to meet up with these guys at some point !
In respect to harsh and judgemental comments how dare they ! Simply if someone has nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all ! Relationships are complex no one has a simple one and with love comes trust but also doubt ! Self doubt and doubt of yr partner so whatever u wrote then you did so on yr terms and so what if u have doubts everyone has doubts it doesn't mean that yr relationship is wrong nor weak and saying you shouldn't have kids is just radic ! Everyone out there who has children has had some kind of problem with their marriage or relationship other wise it wouldn't be a bloody relationship ! Narrow minded stupid immature comments like like show lack of empathy ! Mental maturity ! And a sheer amount of false self righteousness ! You would never walk up to a work colleague with these opinions when they moan about their bf in the office so just because you are sat behind a computer or phone should you act with a lack of decorum ! This site is for making like minded friends and support and to share yr journey ! If you don't like the opinions of someone's diary then jog on there are plenty to pick from on here ! Self reflection is def required for anyone feeling the need to slate anyone on this forum as to the motive to need to hurt others with such comment I'm disgusted !

 

[WillpowerWoman]

Whooow I'm real I'm here what I write in my diary is honest and exactly what I mean ! The ppl I write to on here the concern help and friendship I offer is real ! I don't sit behind a computer spouting **** because I'm not face to face I in actual fact mean all I write and while I'm sure what u wrote was true to some and I agree she should shrug stupid comments like that off I assure you that what I write to ppl on here who I consider friends is honest and true and as stated earlier would love to meet up with these guys at some point !
In respect to harsh and judgemental comments how dare they ! Simply if someone has nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all ! Relationships are complex no one has a simple one and with love comes trust but also doubt ! Self doubt and doubt of yr partner so whatever u wrote then you did so on yr terms and so what if u have doubts everyone has doubts it doesn't mean that yr relationship is wrong nor weak and saying you shouldn't have kids is just radic ! Everyone out there who has children has had some kind of problem with their marriage or relationship other wise it wouldn't be a bloody relationship ! Narrow minded stupid immature comments like like show lack of empathy ! Mental maturity ! And a sheer amount of false self righteousness ! You would never walk up to a work colleague with these opinions when they moan about their bf in the office so just because you are sat behind a computer or phone should you act with a lack of decorum ! This site is for making like minded friends and support and to share yr journey ! If you don't like the opinions of someone's diary then jog on there are plenty to pick from on here ! Self reflection is def required for anyone feeling the need to slate anyone on this forum as to the motive to need to hurt others with such comment I'm disgusted !

Thank you Leanne

sorry zest and I took over your diary but it helped as I know I need to not take what others say so much to heart and it is something I battle with most days. I am very lucky to have people on here such as yourself also who understand that why I may put these things on my diary and ask for advice I need practical logical advice and support and yourself zest and rkm did so so thank you. Happy to put this to bed now xx

 

[LeaE]

Good lass xxxx how's yr day x

 

[LeaE]

Well I think it's day 47 for me so nearly half way to 100 days ss can't believe I have done this long x I'm in a good mood despite 3 hrs sleep and been at work but with black coffee in my hand I feel ready to do battle with day 47 x arguments with the bf kept me up but we have kinda sorted it out ! It all boils down to the Inlaws but that discussions getting dull now so won't go on anymore and I'm exhausted by them anyway x
I'm having a thin morning and feel I can see a little bit where my body has changed but no doubt I will be back to square one tonight ha ha think I get the evening blues x
It's the wedding in 2 weeks so I'm pleased I'm going to be in the 16stone area by then but I'm still not wanting to come off plan for it so hoping the 2nd social event during cd won't effect my weight loss ! I really need to buy them size 16 jeans from primark to set as my clothes goal but just haven't found the time just yet x
Oh and I have a mystery in my house ! It's Friday so I should have 3 bars left and I went for one this am and there was nothing ! Either I'm sleep eating (at least it's cd products and not the left over sweets crisps and chocolate ) or someone is pinching my cd bars no one will admit to it but I only have one a day so something's happened to them lol
Hope everyone's good anyway x good luck for the weekend x my CDC is away so no weigh in for me Sunday I have to wait till Monday evening. xxxxx makes me feel abit wobbly with out my secure Sunday morning weigh in !

 

[WillpowerWoman]

Good lass xxxx how's yr day x

Finish work shortly so will get better x