Learning to Love Life!

[Minerva]

Well done, you're doing REALLY well. Indeed as Hanmac pointed out, the middle point of the 14 week foundation period is really tough. It's almost like 'WHY AM I NOT THERE YET??' as the novelty of the whole experience has begun to wear off.. It doesn't help that it's the summer months as well which are usually more sociable.

You're experiencing what is called 'food porn' stage... Everyone goes through it, I certainly did. I suddenly became obsessed with it. Food is suddenly so exciting, so many new things to try 'when you get off' the diet, so many new things to cook and experiment with. But by doing this you're actually making it harder for yourself. I found that by becoming obsessed with it, when it got to RTM (and for a very long time after RTM) I was too scared to touch any of the grand plans I prepared. I was too scared to cook that 'fabulous' meal I have been obsessing over, or eat anything above a salad leaf because the guilt of 'I'll put everything back on again if I eat a teaspoon too much'!! ... it gets to you. That built up tension of WANTING to, but in the end restraining yourself from doing it - will - explode. One day I just snapped and couldn't stop. For months.

How about taking up gardening? Grow a tomato plant... A tomato you can have on RTM within couple of weeks... So, have a go at growing your own, something you WILL be able to enjoy in a few months time, and because you'd grown it yourself, it will taste THAT much better for it. ... and it'll be guilt free.

 

[hanmac]

Minerva, love that you call it 'food porn', completely get what you mean! Watching shows like Come Dine with Me and Masterchef are becoming an obsession! xx

 

[Minerva]

Technically speaking it should be 'food torture' because with every food thought, programme, article, picture you're only really reminding yourself of what you CAN'T have. Maybe not on a conscious level with some of it - but it adds up.

Instead, maybe start looking up on how to change the general lifestyle for good. Recognise the types of food/substances that are your weak point, the 'triggers'. There is no point on thinking that (like many people actually) that to maintain you may have to join something like Weight Watchers of Slimming World... Because that is unsustainable in some ways. In some cases, lifestyle changes may entail excluding some foods for the rest of one's life. In other cases it may mean only truly having them on certain occasions (no more than once a month).

Either way don't get too carried away with the food orientated hobbies! It can become a very dangerous road indeed...

 

[hanmac]

You make a great point Minerva, I can't actually remember what lots of food tastes like including bread and cheese which used to be big comfort foods of mine. So now i'm in the great position of being able to pick and chose what I decide to eat again. Definitely wouldn't join Weight watchers or Slimming world, not that I have a problem with them, I just know they wouldn't work for me.

I'm planning on doing the Great Manchester Run next May, so once I finish RTM I have another goal to aim for, and the motivation to eat healthily and keep fit.

 

[Lind]

Thanks for the support, it's greatly needed and welcomed.

Had my weigh in tonight, lost 3 1/2 lbs. Happy with that so alls good. lol

Minerva, I so get the food torture thing and the idea of it. I have finished with the thought records as they are making it all worse. From now on I am just remembering my Adult Ego State.

Busy day tomorrow, my little mans 4th birthday and we are going out for the day. Planning well, and really really hoping to stay 100%.

Fingers crossed!!!

 

[hanmac]

Well done Lind!! Another week down

How was your day yesterday?
xxx

 

[Lind]

Hannah, your pic are amazing!!! I haven't compared mine, too afraid to.

Yesterday went well, didn't drink as much as normal and I have had a headache since yesterday evening.

Maybe way too much information but this morning I realised I have been suffering with quite bad constipation. I think it has been a combination of a bit too much cafine and not quite enough water. I couldn't figure out why my weight loss hasn't been as good of late, and then I realised that I haven't been as regular since I started to drink coffee again. So I have decided to stop drinking coffee again and stick to water and plenty of it.

My obbesssion with f*** and all it entails is slowly trailing off. I haven't talked about what I can eat when I am finished for two whole days! Just think I needed to get it out of my system.

I think it may have something to do with not having a group again this week. And, it is making me so annoyed! I know it is down to the people in my group whether they attend and stick to it or not. But my LLC was talking about having to put me into another group if this group was no longer viable. There is only me and one other girl who are commited to this but she wasn't here this week and the only other two that turned up didn't want to stay so I finished up with no group again.
I am going to talk to my LLC and find out if she can put me into another group when I do Develpoers so I can be with people that want to be there.

 

[Minerva]

First of all - Hanmac! Are you sure you need to lose any more dear! You look fantastic as you are now in those pics!

Lind - well done on your progress! Stopping food talk is beneficial, after all it's like the pink elephant theory. "Don't think about the pink elephant" ... what do you end up thinking of? The damn. pink. elephant.

As for constipation - mmyes. I suffered pretty badly from it when on LL. Coffee is a diuretic, so I suppose it's flushing the water out and draining it from the 'other' regions where it needs to go to expel anything bigger! Maybe that explained my own problems, I drank an awful lot of coffee when on LL ... and then some. I love coffee, what can I say ...

Don't get too hung on group... It is of course extremely beneficial to have a group to go to, mentally, it's like a small 'vindication', it's as if on some small level, the weight loss is for THEM, not for you; and the shared experience of group support are for self-approval purposes. We measure our own success by comparison with others... However. When I was doing LL abstinence there were quite a few months where I did not have a group - and all I did was literally go see my LLC, get weighed and get packs - because back then we could not join groups after initial 3 weeks into foundation. Mixing was not allowed. The status of not having a group - tought me to rely on myself though. It was beneficial. It became about MY successes and MY goals. I wasn't displacing my effort to the approval of anyone else, only MY approval mattered. Hence, have a think about, who are you truly doing this weight loss for? Why does NOT having a group to sit in bother you so much? We need to ask these questions to get down to the real issues about our own self-esteem and where we find our self-worth.

Remember, we're all very proud of you here at Minimins! xx

 

[lucy4loop]

I must admit I'd be peed right off Lind! The reason for me to choose LL was as much about the CBT and TA as the weight loss. Do you get individual "counselling" or do you just get your packs? Definitely have a word with your LLC if you're not happy with it. My group is only 3 of us, and I'm really hoping we all last the distance, as any less wouldn't really be a group!

 

[Lind]

Minerva you give such winderful and well balanced advice, there are so many times I read your posts and I can see the measure of your success and achievement.

I think I am annoyed about the no group thing because I pay part of that weekly money to get the TA or the CBT and I feel I am not getting my money's worth when I don't get the counselling. I am happy to have it on a one to one but I still want it. I have figured out the three times in my life that have made me pile on the weight and what I want to learn now is how to prevent highly emotional events from affecting my weight in the future.


As for the coffee, I have stopped and I have the withdrawal headache and the bad mood.....ah well it can go with the pms!!!!

 

[Lind]

Lucy, I don't really get any type of counselling at the moment. Monday was just a case of, Oh well there isn't anyone here lets just get your packs and you can have an early night.

I have decided to talk to her about it again, but this time I am going to say that I want counselling or I want to change group as soon as I can.

 

[hanmac]

Hi Lind!
Thank you! You should compare your photos, I never saw the difference until I looked at them both side by side!

I would be super annoyed if I was getting proper meetings and counselling, you pay £70 a week for food and counselling, at that's what makes LL different to lipotrim/celebslim etc. So as well as not getting the right support, your not getting your money's worth! Would you be happy to move to the other group your LLC suggested?
xxx

 

[Hairyfish]

Lucy, I don't really get any type of counselling at the moment. Monday was just a case of, Oh well there isn't anyone here lets just get your packs and you can have an early night.

I have decided to talk to her about it again, but this time I am going to say that I want counselling or I want to change group as soon as I can.

It has been the same for me for a few weeks. I dunno what to do about it as no other groups near by.

I do press though and just keep nattering but still ending 15-20 mins early so only getting 20 mins or so after weigh ins.

At least ive got here to keep me straight.

 

[hanmac]

First of all - Hanmac! Are you sure you need to lose any more dear! You look fantastic as you are now in those pics!

Thank you Minerva! Looking at the pics has made me consider changing my goals, if I lose the amount i'm hoping to lose at my weigh in tonight i'll hit the 3st mark (fingers crossed!!) Then my plan was to lose another stone on abstinence then hopefully another stone on 4 weeks of developers. But now i'm beginning to wonder if losing another 2st might take things too far. Think i'll see how I feel at the end of the 14 weeks, problem is i'm so fixated on having a healthy BMI, but should really go on how I look and feel, not numbers on a scale.
xx

 

[Lind]

It has been the same for me for a few weeks. I dunno what to do about it as no other groups near by.

I do press though and just keep nattering but still ending 15-20 mins early so only getting 20 mins or so after weigh ins.

At least ive got here to keep me straight.

I feel lucky to have this place to keep me straight too. I have picked up my green book again and I think I will start working through it tonight. My LLC was one of the first to be trained and she doesn't follow the book week by week. It is such a bummer because when she is able to do a full group she is really really good. It's the other people in the group that aren't commited.

 

[Lind]

I have just fallen off the wagon!!!

I am an idiot!!!

 

[hanmac]

You are not an idiot!

I know you may feel like that now, but you just made a mistake, your only human!
The fact that you've got back on the wagon shows how strong you are, especially as you seem to be doing LL without the support of your LL group and the counselling!
Forget the past, and think of the future
xxxx

 

[Minerva]

Forgive yourself. Find it in yourself to realise that you are worthy of your own forgiveness. Only then you can move on from this. Do not call yourself an 'idiot'. You are not. You are a person who has (in her own perception) done something you "shouldn't have". Who's to say what you are 'allowed' and 'not allowed' to do? The mighty god that is Lighter Life? No. You, and you alone. Therefore you have not committed any sin - only against your own principles and against your own feeling of self-worth.

Look back at what you did and decide that you CONSCIOUSLY made the DECISION or CHOICE to go ahead with it. It was NOT out of your control - but for that instant you chose to do it because you needed it. Accepting that we all have choices is the first step. It is ok.

We learn from the choices we make in life, but it's the recognition that you, yourself, hold the power over them. It feels as if it is out of our hands so often. That something else drives us... But, true power is knowing that ALL control, lies with us - even in situations in which we feel utterly helpless.

Recognise that you needed the blip. It's ok! We all have moments when emotions get the best of us, but it may be useful to know why you needed that little step off the wagon for that moment in time.

I know this sounded very preachery, and I'm sorry! I'm in a very reflective writer-y mood....

 

[tracyd]

OMG minerva i have just looked at your albums / pics cannot believe all the weight you've lost.......jesus u look fantastic, and you seriously deserve a medal, MASSIVE congratulations to you! if ever a person needed an inspiration its you!

 

[Lind]

Minerva, thank you for the preachery message. I thought about what you said and I wrote down a few thoughts and feelings.

I came to the conclusion that yes I did make the choice to eat the hotdogs because the family had them for tea last night and there were 2 left over. They all said how yummy they were. I went to throw them away last night but my hubby said he would eat them. Now I realise that they had been eating away at me. I wanted to taste them because how nice everyone was telling me they were. I felt left out and I got fed up not being part of meal time. So I ate them.

Then I started the "might as well get hung for a sheep than a lamb" attitude and ate a small biscuit. I had started to plan to eat all sorts of things and have to whole weekend "off". Then my Adult ego state kicked in and I realised it was the wrong thing for me to do. That if I didn't learn from this then I would never learn to curb my eating.

I have learned that, yes sometimes I do make the wrong decisions but I do not have to keep to that decision, I can change my mind and I can stop any time I want to.

I have not had anymore food packs today so I am hoping that 2 packs and what I have eaten will not make too much of a dent on the scales on Monday evening.

I no longer feel an idiot but I do feel sad.