Lily's Lyrical Lollop. Destination: Land's End...

[Lily]

Woot, down another pound!

That means I'm just a pound heavier than I was when I fell off the wagon.

And I've just realised it means that I've lost 14lbs in March, LOL.

I'd lost 15lbs at the point of it going pants-up, then regained 9lbs and now I've lost 8 of those again.

So actually, during March, I lost 23lbs. Pity 9 of them don't count, LOL. :8855:

 

[Lily]

Day 4 of 100 Days of Weight Loss

If you're like most people, when you're on a diet, you try hard to follow it perfectly. Each day you strive to take in the exact number of calories, fat grams or carbohydrates allowed by the plan.

But if you slip up ... you figure you've blown it, so you might as well eat more. Soon you throw the entire diet out the window. This all-or-nothing approach never works because when you are off your diet, you cancel out the progress you made while you were on it.

Oh LOL, how appropriate to me...

Like it or not, to lose weight, you have to follow some type of system. Your plan can be quite rigid and meticulous, or as simple as deciding you'll eat less and increase your level of exercise. Instead of getting stuck on the word diet, learn to think of it as boundaries for your eating plan.

Picture your diet program as a road or a path ... As you walk on the road each day, your goal is to stay between the sides of the road. During times when you're strong and focused on your diet, you move the boundaries closer together, making the road narrower. When you take a break from your program or work on maintenance, you widen the boundaries and allow more variety in your plan. But even on a really bad day, you never eliminate the road or get off of it completely ... By doing this, you'll be far more successful than if you punish yourself every time you step off the road.

My task for the day is to define an eating and exercise plan for the narrow road and for the wider road.

I'll be honest, I'm still struggling with the exercise thing but I know I have to do it. The food plan is easier. The narrow path is fairly obviously sticking to SS. The wider path is, I guess, something akin to 810.

I'll do some thinking then come back and write down what I'm going to do...

 

[coralprincess]

These tips are great Lily. I've ordered the Beck workbook from seeing your posts Hopefully can start it at the same time as my CD. I think most of the work needs to be done in your head with weight loss.

I'm totally the opposite, I can exercise til the cows come home, it's food that's the trouble! Once you find something you enjoy you'll be set. I hated sports at school, there was seriously nothing I liked. I hated rounders, netball, cross country. But I love going on my bike, kickboxing, interval training. I get a huge kick out of showing off & doing proper press ups . Once you gel with something that will be it

 

[Lily]

Once you find something you enjoy you'll be set. I hated sports at school, there was seriously nothing I liked. I hated rounders, netball, cross country. But I love going on my bike, kickboxing, interval training. I get a huge kick out of showing off & doing proper press ups . Once you gel with something that will be it

Really? Hmm... I shall suspend my disbelief for now, LOL. Maybe when I'm a bit slimmer I'll have the energy to think about doing something that strenuous...

Okay. I said I'd think about what to write today. The diet bit of the task is quite easy - the narrow boundary is of course Sole Source and the wider boundary... well, it needs to be a little bit wider than 810, I've realised. I think it needs to be as wide as low carb, to make sure I've got a boundary wide enough to live safely within.

Exercise... urgh. Okay. The narrow boundary is doing at least ten minutes of brisk walking every day of the week. The wider boundary is doing at least ten minutes of brisk walking on at least four days out of seven. That way if I do miss it once or twice, I won't feel like I've failed (which is what seems to be the point of this task).

 

[Lily]

Yes! Whoop! I'm back to 14st 3lbs - which means I'm back to the weight I was before I fell off the wagon 12 days ago. And even better, it's only taken 5 days to repair the damage. Meaning, I suppose, that there wasn't really much damage done. All I did was delay my getting to goal by a week. A mere week. Sooo glad I didn't do my usual thing of falling off the wagon for a month or two before clambering back on it.

I'll immediately award myself some Beck CREDIT (I wonder if we could persuade someone to design a CREDIT smilie??).

Even better, that makes my stats read at 199 pounds - which is, psychologically, so much nicer a number than 200 and something.

 

[Lily]

LOL, let's see if this works:

Yay, it does!

 

[coralprincess]

Well done Lily!! Credit definately deserved

 

[Lily]

Still playing.

How about...

or...



Aw, now that last one is special!!

 

[coralprincess]

LOL!! I like the big shiny last one

 

[mum of five]

well done on the loss hun i love reading your diary x

 

[Lily]

Day 5 in the Big Brother House... Ah, no. Wrong thing.

Day 5 of 100 Days of Weight Losshttp://www.amazon.co.uk/100-Days-Weight-Loss-Successful/dp/1401603734/ref=tmm_pap_title_0.

Get a "magic" notebook

For many people, recording personal thoughts or actions each day provides a lot of insight. It also serves as an outlet for emotions and struggles around weight-loss efforts. If you enjoy writing, experiment with tracking your thoughts and ideas around food and eating. Feel free to write as little as one sentence or as much as several pages.

On the other hand, if you don't find it helpful to write things down, don't force yourself to do this. But do keep a notebook handy as a quick tool for jotting down ideas about managing your eating patterns.

Eat it another time

Just because you think about a food doesn't mean you have to eat it. When a food thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you don't have to act on it. Instead, write down the name or even a description of the food, and then anticipate the pleasure of eating it sometime in the future.

Practice the skill of observing food cues, then letting them go. When you walk into a movie theatre, notice the smell of popcorn, then forget about it. If it helps, record these cues in your "magic" notebook. Tell yourself, "That popcorn smells good, but I'm not going to eat any right now. I'll simply postpone it until another day."

Oh good grief. I'm going to be whipping out a notebook every 5 seconds!

 

[Lily]

Day 6. Haven't weighed in today cos I went out with my Dad and sister for a meal yesterday evening, and although I only had chicken and braised savoy cabbage, I figure it's best to keep away from the scales just in case they register the food.

It's interesting that I didn't mention the meal in my diary prior to going out, I've now realised. For lots of reasons, seeing my family is bittersweet - reasons I'm not going to get into now. Many a diet I've been on before has been derailed by something my father's said (without malice, he just can't seem to help putting his foot in stuff), so going for meals with him is always dangerous.

I think... :cross: last night was one of the better occasions. For once, he wasn't quite as full as doom and gloom as he often is (he watches far too much Newsnight and is usually full of how Britain's going to the dogs, we're all going to be poor, life as we know it will soon be over - cheery stuff ). And he managed not to say anything about my diet or my weight - or anyone else's weight (of course, my sister's never had problems maintaining her figure).

Anyway, I'm feeling quite positive that I can carry on with Cambridge today as normal. I don't think I have any follow-on feelings of deprivation about what I might have enjoyed eating last night instead of what I had.

Back in a bit - need to take DS to schoool.

 

[Lily]

Other bits of Linda Spangle's book keep filtering their way to the front of my brain.

One of the best is: It's not in here.

Apparently, she knows of another diet counsellor who gives those words on a fridge magnet to each of his clients.

I can't put fridge magnets on my fridge because it's inside a cupboard so the door's not magnetic, LOL. But yesterday I did keep wandering to the fridge, opening the door and looking inside. Luckily there was nothing in there that I could have (note to self, don't let OH buy sliced chicken in the near future) but each time I did it, I heard in my head, "It's not in here!"

Whatever it was I was looking for, it wasn't food. I was looking in the fridge because I was bored, because I just wanted to feel something in my mouth (probably because I knew I was going out later and knew that it could be a difficult evening), because at lunchtime my OH had this fabulous looking sandwich that I wanted to eat but I couldn't - because if I want to be slim, I have NO CHOICE.

I'll have to see if I can find a post-it note and stick "It's not in here!" up on the fridge-cupboard door, cos I expect I'll 'forget' to think it in a day or two!

 

[Lily]

So, Day 6 of 100 Days of Weight Loss

No one will ever care as much about your diet plan as you. So it's your job to prevent people or events from pulling you off track. Instead of depending on others to help you be successful with your diet, make a commitment that you will protect your program at all costs!

...Here's a great way to protect yourself when you're around other people. Anytime you feel pressured to eat something, you can sidestep the food pusher by hinting that you'll eat later. Whenever someone offers you food, respond by saying, "Not just yet; I'm going to wait a little while."

If you're asked again, simply repeat this phrase or another variation of it such as, "Thanks, but I'll still wait a little bit." Saying "not just yet" gives you a gracious way to handle being pushed to eat when you don't want to. Because this magic phrase convinces people you'll eat eventually, they'll leave you alone for the moment ... [M]ake it sound like you'll have some later, then quietly slip away from the table... Even if you skip food during the entire event, you'll find that most people never notice you didn't eat.

Sooo true. I've done that before. Of course, some people notice. My sister noticed last night that I didn't eat the potatoes that came with my meal and asked why I wasn't eating them. Then my Dad chimed in and said he'd noticed I hadn't eaten my bread either so it was obvious why I hadn't eaten them - I was low carbing (Ha, so Dad did make a reference to my diet after all - told you he can't help himself! ).

I'm not telling either of them I'm doing Cambridge this time though. My sister worries that I'm doing that 'silly diet', and Dad will just start doing what he always does - feeling the need to comment about whether I look fatter or slimmer the next time we meet ).

 

[Lily]

Anyway, I'm feeling quite positive that I can carry on with Cambridge today as normal. I don't think I have any follow-on feelings of deprivation about what I might have enjoyed eating last night instead of what I had.

Hmm. Maybe it was self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe in having that thought this morning, I set the idea in train. Although I think other factors also played a part.

I just ate chocolate. Not loads and loads, but a significant amount. Why? Good question.

Linda Spangle has a section in Life is Hard, Food is Easy about trying to work out why we eat something we later wish we hadn't. She says that to identify a chain of eating triggers, you need to start at the moment when you first ate or knew you desperately wanted to eat. Then, working backwards from that point, consider all of the stressful situations or people that were part of your day.

Each time you identify a trigger, ask, "... and what else?" to help you remember other things that might have affected you.

Okay, so here goes.

At the point of having chocolate, my son had just come home from school. He came into the house asking loudly who'd been eating chocolate, cos he spotted the wrapper to a caramel egg on the hallway carpet.

My OH pointed out that no one had, because I'd just been cleaning up and it had probably fallen there from the table in the hall when I'd tidied the pile of post on top of it. Which I think it probably did (and moreover, DS almost certainly was the person who'd dumped the wrapper on the table!)

Anyway - that put the thought of chocolate in my head. And it wouldn't go. As I said, I'd just been tidying up and I'd felt very virtuous about it, cos I'd cleaned the bathroom, the en suite, the downstairs loo and the kitchen sink and I'd put the Dyson around downstairs.

I hadn't planned to do that - I'd been going to watch the last couple of days' worth of Neighbours on On Demand - but my OH had set up the DVD recorder to record a show while out - so that meant I couldn't use the Virgin box. So maybe I was a bit miffed that I hadn't got to just slob on the settee - but I don't think that was it. I think it was more that after all that hard work, I felt like I deserved a treat.

And what else?

Well, when OH came back in, the idea of us having a 'night off' the diet was floated. I was a bit taken aback, cos I've only just managed to get myself back on track after the last time, so I queried why, and got the answer that it was because I'd gone out for a meal the night before and had a treat (ha! Braised cabbage is a treat??) and OH felt deprived.

I pointed out the error in this argument and OH conceded that it probably hadn't been a treat but I'd still got to go out and OH hadn't. Anyway, that left me feeling a bit annoyed, I suppose.

So, I felt like I deserved a treat because I'd worked hard and I was a little bit annoyed with OH. And what else? Well, I've had the last couple of days off work, but hadn't got to do what I'd normally be able to do - which is 'treat myself' with food. So I s'pose that was at the back of my mind and I was feeling deprived. And I've got the odd twinge in my lower belly that either means I'm constipated (well, I know I am) or about to start TOTM (which is also very likely) and I was craving chocolate like mad because it's one of those things that has the capability to 'fix' both things - but I felt like my hands were tied because I promised myself I was going to stick to SS today.

And what else? Well, naturally, I didn't get to eat what I would really have liked to eat yesterday evening so I felt deprived - but bizarrely guilty at the same time, cos I did at least eat and maybe I shouldn't have because I'm supposed to be on SS (though my CDC did know I was going to have to eat and agreed it would be the best thing to do - she's known me a long time, bless her).

And what else? God, isn't that enough? Nope, it isn't. It's Mother's Day on Sunday and I don't have a Mum anymore (she died in 2005 when she was 61 and I miss her desperately). So there was a tinge of sadness and self-pity going on in the background of all of that.

Anything else? Yep, one more, I think. Because I did cope with yesterday evening really well, I felt like I deserved a 'reward' for that.

LOL. Interesting exercise.

And now, I'm supposed to look at each link in the chain, think about where I may have slipped up, and what else I could've done. I think I'd better start a new post for that.

 

[Lily]

I wanted a treat because I'd tidied up instead of doing what I'd wanted to.

Um. I need to think of some non-food treats for times like these. Any ideas anyone (and don't say 'hot bath' - I've just cleaned the bathroom!)

I was miffed with OH because I couldn't watch Neighbours.

If I'd given it some thought, I probably could've watched it online. Besides, I ought to give myself loads of CREDIT cos instead, I did something I'd been putting off for the last few days!

I was irritated with OH when the idea of having a 'night off' the diet came up.

Not sure how I could've dealt with that one differently. OH (also on a diet, albeit not quite as strict) wasn't thinking rationally.

I was actually quite cross at the idea that I'd had a treat the night before and OH hadn't!

Ditto above!

I wanted to mark my days off work by indulging in eating activity.

That's a bad habit, pure and simple. I need to stop making GOOD TIME = LOTS OF FOOD

I'm constipated and due on but I couldn't justify having chocolate (even though I caved in the end).

I have taken something for the constipation (but it hasn't worked yet). I probably need to take something sooner next time.

I felt guilty because I ate out last night (even though it was pretty much legitimate SS stuff and I'd agreed that approach with my CDC).

That's just plain daft. Not sure how to fix that one.

I miss my Mum.

So maybe I should just poke myself in the eye and let myself cry.

I felt I deserved a reward for coping so well with last night.

Not sure what to do about that one either. :sigh:

 

[Lily]

Day 7 - Damage Report: None (amazing in itself). Scales still reading 14st 3lbs. Which makes me wonder whether I should've got on the scales yesterday, cos maybe they would've been lower, and maybe I wouldn't have eaten the chocolate. Or maybe I would. Who knows. TOTM started today, so no wonder I was in such an iffy mood yesterday (the older I get, the worse my PMT seems to be. :sigh.

So, CREDIT to me for all the things I did right yesterday - which actually was quite a few things. Yes, I ate the chocolate, but that's all I ate - I didn't let myself get started on anything else. I went for a 30 minute walk with OH yesterday evening (and OH kept complaining I was walking too fast ). I cleaned my bathrooms and put the Dyson round even though I didn't feel like it. I had my 3 Cambridge products. I told the truth about what I'd done, here in my diary.

Things to learn from yesterday... Hmm. That maybe I should get on the scales every day and try to read them with my scientific (rather than my emotional) head on (did Worzel Gummidge have either of those? Now I'm showing my age! - never liked that show anyway). That I need to keep more track of, ahem, whether I'm constipated or not (God, this 'being honest' thing gets embarrassing ). Oh, and that I need to tell my DS and OH what to say to me when I reach for the chocolate. It seems I react really badly to them telling me I shouldn't be eating it, LOL.

 

[Lily]

I guess reading Surfhunny's 'Interesting Fact!!!' thread of a few days ago:http://www.minimins.com/cambridge-diet-forum/202819-interesting-fact.html reminded me of something I've been thinking about on and off for a while now.

If you weren't in a tearing hurry to lose weight (LOL, I'm always in a hurry - that's why I've been on a diet for, ooh, twenty-odd years, maybe more ), you could actually get to the weight you want to be by reducing your calories to the number of calories required to maintain your weight at the weight you'd like to be.

For example, to stay at 10 stones exactly, I would need to take in 1736 calories a day (if I didn't increase my activity level - if I did, I could probably up that a bit).

I used this calculator here to estimate how many calories I'd need: http://www.exrx.net/Calculators/CalRequire.html

So if I started eating 1736 calories a day now (at my current weight of 199 pounds) that would create a calorie deficit that would lead to me losing weight... painfully slowly, of course, but it would happen.

Of course, as I lost weight, that calorie deficit would become smaller because I wouldn't need as many calories to maintain my smaller self, so the rate of weight loss would get slower and slower. I'd lose the first stone or so in about 160 days (yep, it would take a while ), the second stone after another 200 days, the third stone after another 280 days...).

So okay, it'd take a long time (that's nearly 2 years to lose 3 stones). The last stone would take maybe another 2 years...

But how long have I been on a diet, LOL? Or rather, on and off a diet?

You know, I'm sure I remember reading somewhere that you should eat for the body you want to have, not the body that you've got. This rather proves the point, doesn't it?

Not to mention that by the time you got to goal, you'd be an expert at maintenance...

 

[Lily]

Oh bum.

Just eaten half a French stick and several pieces of Toblerone. Grrr. I kept seeing the blo*dy French stick in the kitchen (it was bought for my son but he wasn't too bothered about it cos he's having pizza later) until I surrendered to the damn thing. I know hunger isn't an emergency and cravings do go away - but for some reason, I didn't want to know. Grrrr.

Honestly, I spend all day trying to psych myself up into the right place, then blow all my hard work in ten minutes flat. Rude, rude, rude, rude, RUDE words!!!

It sometimes feels as though I know everything there is to know about dieting. I can tell you the nutritional value of an apple according to its carb count, its calorie count, and its chuffing WW ProPoints. I've read countless books on the things you're supposed to tell yourself and dreamed up alternatives to eating, downloaded hypnotherapy apps to my iPhone. But nothing seems to beat the allure of a French stick (the Toblerone was incidental - a 'what the hell' moment after the bread).

Which means that I'm still only interested in losing weight and not committed, I s'pose. That I don't want it enough??? Seriously? What have I been doing all day then? I'd have been better off spending the day in bed!

Grrr. I'm sure normal service will be resumed at some point, but right now, I'm... Actually, I don't know what I feel. :sigh:

 

[Lily]

O-o-oh... (is there a smiley for light dawning?)

I've just answered a post on the main forum about whether you can have coke on SS. Which I probably shouldn't have answered, because my first response, now edited, was verging on the rude. Well, maybe not rude. Certainly abrupt. I think I've amended it enough now for it not to offend.

But as I was answering it, including the usual guff about citric acid and artificial sweeteners making you hungry, I realised I was sitting here at my laptop with - yes, you've guessed it - a half-empty 500ml bottle of Coke Zero...