Lottie Bird's Battle of the Binge

*sigh*... I have gotten myself in a right tizzy about weigh in tomorrow. I am so paranoid and I feel like everyone in my group must be wondering why I bother. I have been way more on plan this week, but can't shake this feeling that I have gained. I have by no means been perfect, but no binges. I am having my own successes with food, but sadly this doesn't always translate into weight loss. I really do know I am going to get there, and I am in no way tempted to give up... I just feel like I am embarrassing myself in front of everyone :(
 
Well, I have had a big break over the festive season, haven't been on minis much, busy moving house got in the way too :)

I am so glad christmas is over, I am firmly back on the wagon now which is a massive relief. I had a mammoth gain last week, expecting a hefty one this week too. I'm not going to let it get me down, I'm going to let it motivate me to work really hard to get my weight going the way I want it to.

I have set up a spreadsheet from today to the end of 2013 for me to plan and record all my intake and weight, and I intend on using this diary (and the rest of the forum) a lot more too. Things have been going really well for me lately, life is good, and its the perfect time for me to do this and achieve all my goals. Not tomorrow, not new year... now. Thank goodness I am back in the zone, siezing the moment and remembering I am the only factor affecting my success or failure.
 
Loved reading this diary. I can really relate with you guys, it's nice to see that you can control the binges, there really is light at the end of the tunnel xx
 
kel86 said:
Loved reading this diary. I can really relate with you guys, it's nice to see that you can control the binges, there really is light at the end of the tunnel xx
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Hi there Kel, it's a struggle sometimes, but it's definitely doable. I wonder if I could get through all of 2013 binge-free, now that would be something!

Absolutely delighted to have lost 4lbs today!!! And it's Christmas week, so doubly thrilled! Great way to see the year out!
 
Well its the dreaded weigh in day again! After my 4lb loss last week, I expect to have regained it tonight. I have had a cycle of good week, bad week, good week, bad week for quite some time now, and its quite annoying.

My nasty binges have been at bay again, I think it was the stress of moving house that triggered it a bit. So thats a relief, but my general eating has just been lazy, and poor choices. Had a couple of take-aways for no good reason... lots of chocolates too. Cooked a disgustingly fattening lasagne with garlic bread and banoffee tart for afters on new years day. I'm determined to not beat myself up, and to move forward. So a gain is fully expected, and I can move forward from wherever I am at.

I hope to be safely in the 14s by valentines day, thats what I'm working on as my first priority. Its a real landmark for me, its the weight category where I am no longer embarrassed to say what I weigh. 15s still sounds bad to me, 14s not so much :) So including tonight, 7 weigh-ins. I will set myself a more specific goal tonight once I know what the damage is. I get such a feeling of dread going to weigh in, and its a zillion times worse when I have been off plan, so I am going to really try and minimise my stress, stick to plan, and try to learn to look forward to weighing in.
 
Ok, I have confessed all to my consultant and my husband, and that is surely a step in the right direction.

I am going to start staying to group again, if nothing else it stops me from knee-jerk reactions to my gain. I don't find it very inspiring at the time, but it seems to help regardless.
 
Aww lottiebird! Well done for telling hubby and your C, that really is the best thing to do - they know you're having a bad time so they can be more supportive! Hugs sent your way x
 
That's the right frame of mind! :)

I'm doing alright thanks hun, got to target over Christmas but have put on around half a stone since! Joined a Slimming world group last week to get the books and that should hopefully help me get down to ten stone :)
 
I have managed to resist bingeing since my last "blip", its a good feeling. I have had a few urges, but I just got on with other things, or had a healthy snack. Its just the mindset... I need to learn how to capture it and keep it. Everything depends on that single thing.

I have WI tomorrow, and I hope that my efforts are enough to show a loss (or at worst a maintain) tomorrow... My binge last week was very excessive, thousands of kcals worth, so I am not expecting anything great. I seem to be getting my head (and behaviour) right again, and thats a success, no matter what the scales say this week. My husband is away til Friday, and I have no temptation to eat anything off-plan. I input my food diary on the SW website tonight, and I intend to keep this up. I guesstimate syns and HEX's way too much (Note to self: MILK!) so its a good way to keep myself on the straight and narrow, and to refresh the values in my head.

I felt really bad about last week's result, and to be honest, I am worried about how I will feel if I gain tomorrow. I wish my mental state was less dependent on that scale, and its something I am determined to work on. I am going to do my measurements again (its been months), and keep a record of those. And maybe think of a measure of fitness to monitor too. I talk so much about getting active, and I think about it every day. I really want to break the cycle, even if its just jumping around for 10 minutes, any movement will be good for me. Also keep me warm on these cold nights :)
 
I'm not going out to group tonight. I'm frozen, and hungry and thirsty, and there is no way I'm setting foot out the door tonight! I am going to curl up with my cat instead :)

I've been amazingly well behaved on plan today, really getting my head back to where it was. Having chilli pasta for tea, still got HEB left for 2 alpen lights, and have syns going spare, so no worries about going wrong tonight :)
 
I am now day 9 without binge-eating, and boy do I feel better for it. My mood has been better than it has been in such a long time. I hope it holds out! Haven't been having as much super-free as I should, but my portion sizes have been in check, so fingers crossed it hasn't done too much harm. I am going to try focus more on this. I bought a big bag of lemons and sugar free lemonade, so I am going to go back onto my lemon drinks (1/2 iced water, 1/2 lemonade and the cubes of frozen juice of 2 lemons). Zingy but very refreshing, and my caffeine intake has been getting out of hand, totally addicted to the new cherry pepsi max, and I am drinking a lot more pop than usual.

I have really just been hibernating, this weather is pretty uninspiring. I have just had a lazy cuddly day with Mr Bird and our cat son watching trashy telly. Its been great, and I even treated myself to half a twix within syns. Honestly, I love days like these, nowhere I'd rather be :)
 
I'm so happy you're back on track and loving it, that's great news! Well done x
 
Laura94B said:
I'm so happy you're back on track and loving it, that's great news! Well done x
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Thanks Laura :)

Today I have continued my hibernation, I must be burning so few calories. Food wise, I had a little bit of bonus cheese on my macaroni, but otherwise, all still looking good. Haven't had hexb yet, so might have a cereal bar in a bit. Including the cheese, I am still under my syns :)

I have been designing myself a set of fridge magnets to help with my meal planning, I will be getting some magnetic paper to print them onto soon. A bit sad I know, but thats me :)
 
Looking good for my 12th day :)

I will be home alone the next 2 nights from tomorrow, so I am dedicating the evening to getting my head prepared for any urges. I have planned my meals to be easy yet tasty (jacket with beans and philly tomorrow, SW chip butty on thursday after WI for a treat). I think the key for me is about being proactive and actively avoiding the binges in advance of the cravings starting. The house is nice and tidy for my 2 days ahead, so that always helps my headspace. I am also going to keep busy: I am planning on spending tomorrow night working on a craft project and keep my hands busy, then on thursday night I have my SW group, and a friend visiting after.

Although I am feeling empowered that I have stayed on the wagon, I can't help but worry about how easily I could blow it again. I really don't want that to happen! So here's to reaching Friday binge free so I can celebrate 2 weeks! (Then 3, 4, 5 etc :fingerscrossed:)
 
Fridge magnets sound cool haha, not sad at all :)

Such good planning, and I am sure this will be your saviour when it comes to those temptations! Chip butty sounds so good that I might have to go and make myself one now haha! Luckily I have some frozen sW chips ready to chuck in the oven and a HexB left, thanks for the idea!


Definitely the right way of thinking for this to be just the second of many more weeks on plan and binge free, though don't forget to reward yourself for the amazing work of doing it! If you can, treat yourself to a new piece of material/tool for your craft projects or a new nail varnish etc - worst way to reward yourself when trying to correct eating patterns is with food haha :) x
 
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