Evenings in alone Jim. Impossible to avoid unfortunately!
I've tried all sorts of distraction techniques but when the urge to binge occurs it's like a mist descending, so hard to see past. Any common sense or damage limitation goes out the window. I know if I can stop listening immediately I have a chance, and I do most of the time, but sometimes it just follows me, always whispering in the back of my mind. God I sound mental
! I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, I suppose I am really, but it's like an addiction - that's the only way I can describe it. An itch that drives you mad until you scratch it, once you scratch you can't stop and you end up feeling sore!
Sorry to any unsuspecting passers-by that have stopped in on my diary looking for some motivation, I'm not asking for answers or magic wands but I have to put how I'm feeling out there somewhere. It's strange that I don't although I don't talk to friends about it I can offload such personal stuff to people I've never met
. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't post my slip-ups as it's not what anyone wants to hear, but it is the way it is.
Anyway, back to my painting now, brightening up my living room with a couple of white walls (they were all dark red, lovely colour but very gloomy). I want to get a second coat on before school time.