Major confidence issues!

[Caz]

To be honest, even if it goes nowhere, it's something that's made me feel good about myself and made me realise that actually, maybe I'm not as bad as I thought I am! I actually called in sick to work yesterday afternoon so we could stay out longer (tut tut!) and now I'm wishing I had another excuse to call in sick... I don't wanna do a 9 hour shift!! But yeah, I'm not going to be getting my hopes up here at all because it's possibly setting myself up for disappointment and I don't want that. So I'm just going to see where it goes and think whatever will be will be!

 

[Fattack]

Exactly at best you get something out of it, at worst you had a nice date and confidence boost! Pretty good "at worst" scenario, ain't it!

 

[Wrinkly]

Hey Caroline, listen to and act on the positives, the negatives aren't worth a thought.

 

[Legomom]

Get on that phone and get another date booked in!! I'm not sure what other I like you and find you sexy signals the poor lad could send!! Lol.

You enjoyed his company enough to ring in sick so if he had gone in for the kiss would you be feeling less insecure bout seeing him again now? Obviously I don't know but he might have misread you being nervous as you not being interested! So text back and say yes I would have liked it if you'd kissed me.(if you would have) Let's meet up again on (insert a date soooooon!!!) and go for it!

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[Caz]

I've told him that I'd like to see him again, he's said he'll try and find time soon - he's away this weekend. I did ask him why he didn't try to kiss me and he said that he wasn't sure whether I would have wanted him to, so being quite bold, for me anyway, I said something along the lines of I certainly wouldn't have slapped him away lol So yeah, he's away this weekend and might be having his mum stay with him for a few days next weekend, but we'll meet up again soon, hopefully! The problem is that he works in the week and has a very busy job and I end up working every weekend! Not that I'm supposed to, I was told at interview that I wouldn't. I have to give around 4 weeks notice to get a weekend off and even then, it's hard work!

 

[Kimmy b]

Really glad for you x

 

[Legomom]

Where's there's a will there's a way an all that......

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[LittleSis]

Brilliant news.And good to hear you sounding better about youself

 

[happyhealthy]

I've told him that I'd like to see him again, he's said he'll try and find time soon - he's away this weekend. I did ask him why he didn't try to kiss me and he said that he wasn't sure whether I would have wanted him to, so being quite bold, for me anyway, I said something along the lines of I certainly wouldn't have slapped him away lol So yeah, he's away this weekend and might be having his mum stay with him for a few days next weekend, but we'll meet up again soon, hopefully! The problem is that he works in the week and has a very busy job and I end up working every weekend! Not that I'm supposed to, I was told at interview that I wouldn't. I have to give around 4 weeks notice to get a weekend off and even then, it's hard work!

I really, really hope it all goes well for you. He sounds like a really sweet and caring guy. There's nothing worse on the first date when someone's coming in too strong. It's like "how many other women have you done this too?" - makes you feel as special as a bag of nails.

 

[Shazzabir]

Wow that's great news! Pleased your feeling better about yourself

 

[Caz]

Thanks ladies! Whilst I'm definitely feeling more confident and happy with myself, there's now a whole new load of things I have to worry about! I'm the kind of person that really, to be honest, reads too much into things and worries what people think. Before, when I didn't know that he was interested and when I didn't realise that there was any attraction between us I didn't worry about texting him, about how much I was texting him, about if I was the first one to text him, stuff like that. Now I do! Now I think, well I don't want to text too much or reply too quickly all time because then I'll just look too into him and it's only been one date. I know it's mental but that's how my head works haha I dunno, I guess we're just told as women not to act 'too keen' otherwise it'll put a guy off, I just don't know what counts as too keen!

To be honest, it's not quite that bad. I am thinking a little before I text him or whatever but often he's text me. He was the first to text me after I left after our 'date' of Friday. He was the first to text me yesterday morning. And yesterday I said about how I have the rota for work for the next 6 weeks or so and finally have another weekend off coming up in June - I've been there 2 months and only had one off because I booked it off! And I said that I better make better use of it this time, last time it was just wasted and I didn't really do anything! And he replied back saying if I let him know what weekend it is he'll try make sure that he's got no work or family commitments and we can either go away someone or just have some time to spend together. He's away for the weekend visiting family and a new baby nephew so if he's taking the time to text when he can then I take that as a good sign as well as the weekend thing... I think!! See how I read too much into things?! haha Get a grip woman!!

 

[Wrinkly]

Honey, just be your natural self - that's what attracted him in the first place. Go for it!

 

[Caz]

Haha man, this is like buses, wait ages and then 2 come at once! Been asked out on a 'date' on Tuesday (I hate that word!) by another guy and I don't know what to do! I don't really know what the etiquette here is! The guy from the other day, we'll call him #1 and this guy, we'll call him #2 lol Now I know that I like #1 and I'd like to see where it goes, but I don't know if it will. #2 I don't really know about, he's a lovely guy but we've never been in that setting for me to know, if that makes sense! Like I said, I like #1 and I want to see him again and he's said that he likes me and wants to see me again but at the same time, we're not actually together we're... I don't know, seeing what happens? So really, it's not like I'd be cheating by going on a 'date' with #2 but somehow it kind of feels like I would be! I think if #1 turned around to me now and said last night he went out with another girl or kissed another girl or slept with another girl, even though we're not together, I know that I wouldn't feel too good about it! Does that make any sense to anyone at all?! I just don't know what to do! I feel like I should say no but I don't know whether there's any reason for me to feel that, if that makes sense!

 

[themango]

It makes sense. My friend had a very similar situation earlier this year, basically she went out with the second guy but when it came up with #1 she didn't hide from the fact that she had gone out with a #2.

Do what you feel is right for yourself. Don't do one thing and then worry like mad because you've got an amazing situation at the moment

Good luck deciding

 

[Caz]

What I might do is put #2 off for a while and see where things go with #1 first. I do like him and am looking forward to seeing him again and spending time with him and stuff and I just don't want to possibly jeopardise that. It's not like I can ask before hand, so are we free to see other people! Just makes it look like I'm not interested, when I am!

 

[Fattack]

I think that's the best idea Caroline! I wouldn't go out with both unless you don't want to tell the other, because it happened to me once (although I didn't tell the guy I liked, we were on a date with a bunch of his friends and my friend opened her big gob about how many blokes I had "on the go!" - whilst his mate was in the loo! She made me sound like a scarlet woman!!!! And he ditched me the next day - I think his mate told him!). Some people (men and women!) have very fragile egos and don't like the idea of having to share

 

[Caz]

To be honest, I don't like the idea of having to share!! I was thinking about it earlier and a few things helped me decide.

Firstly, I really get on well with #1 and we've got a fair bit in common etc. and just as a person, I really like him. There are so many things I can tell you about why I like him - his commitment to his family, the way he'll do anything for anyone, the way he works hard for what he wants, his determination, the way he'll always ask me how I am and remembers things that I say and will ask about them later, the list goes on! #2... he's fit? That's really about it! Out of the two, I want #1!

Secondly, I decided to imagine the shoe on the other foot. I wondered how I'd feel if #1 told me that he'd been on a date with another woman or whatever and I knew that I'd be disappointed, hurt, upset etc. But if #2 told me that, I don't think I'd be bothered at all.

So to me, it's pretty obvious where my decision lies really. I want #1. I'm now just scared of ruining things.

 

[LittleSis]

Caroline. You've made your decition and from what you say about #1 it seems like a good one. Just take it steady. Enjoy yourself and see where it goes.. Good luck

 

[Fionat29]

Self-confidence

I know some people who are even bigger than me and have all the confidence in the world. Why can't I be like that?!

If we all had that much self-confidence, none of us would be trying to lose weight....we'd all believe ourselves to be lovely as we are. Sad but true.:sigh:

 

[Legomom]

Lol check you out with the manhattan dating go for another date or two with the really nice 1 before you try the second!! Just in case it does go somewhere with him. It'll be a better start to a relationship.

It's always nice to have a plan B tho lol

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