Marie's Diary

[ReezieJay]

Thanks gracielou. Never thought I would get to a stage where someone would be enjoying reading my diary. I remember when I first found this site. I'd been on LL for maybe a few days and was so intimidated by the close friendships of everyone on here and thought I'd just be pushed out and have to cope on my own. But everyone is so so friendly and at the end of the day we are all in This for the same reason. This site is a life saver. Whenever you need a little support, whether it's to start a thread of just read other people diaries it really helps. Good luck with the start of your journey tomorrow and I'll look forward to reading your diary if you decide to do one.

 

[ReezieJay]

Hmmm it's been a fun few days. Yesterday a collegue came into work who's been on maternity leave. It's only been aboug 4 weeks since I last saw her but she was so amazed at how different I looked. Still really struggling to notice the difference in myself. And not only did she say how great I looked to my face but when she thought I couldn't hear she told a friend she couldn't believe how skinny I looked. I wouldn't go that far but I love her so much for using marie and skinny in the same sentance haha. Then my parents came home yesterday evening from there 2 week holiday to Mexico and again were amazed how different I looked. After just 2 weeks!! And I'm ashamed to say that I looked at my mum and just thought she looked bigger. I love her to death and I'm really trying to encourage her to join LL. She will be so much happier I know she will she's only ever stuggled on diets like the rest of us and i've seen her start diet after diet with no results and def no long term maintenance. I know I can't push her into doing it but a little gentle persuasion won't hurt.
Today however was an absolute nightmare !! Started work at normal time but today 3 of us from my office went to a tree planting day. As my company sells paper we are donating money to the national forest with every box of paper we sell. So we were getting hands on and a team on us planted nearly 500 trees over the course of the day. And boy was I tired afterwards. It's really hard work when you have no calorie intake. I got dizzy everytime I stood up and couldn't drink anything for most of the day as there were no toilet facilities and didn't fancy hiding behind a bush with all my work collegues capable of seeing my White bum! Expecially the fit one I had my eye on all day haha. To top it off as I was out and about I took a bar for my lunch rather than a shake which I normally reserve for my evening treat for making it threw the day. Been really feeling like **** since the journey home which usually would have involved a burger king stop on the motorway. I was feeling very tired and very grumpy and very hard done by and all afternoon I've decided that I'm bored of LL. I want food! I only have to wait another 2 an half weeks till I go on total and at least get to eat some food but I so felt like just giving up today. Really close to saying fcuk it! Wanted nothing more than to go out for a meal. And then the family had Chinese and I just wanted to have some. I know I can't give up now tho. But I did do the next best thing and have another bar. It's a one off I won't do it again as I felt bad enough as it was but I really enjoyed eating it. Then I licked a prawn cracker and I'm now worrie I've started going down a slippery slope. One lick here next it will be a little nibble of something. Then a mouthful then the whole plate. Ahhhh I hope I don't collapse here. I tried on some dresses earlier that didn't use to fit and now do. Which cheered me up and spurred me on for a little bit. I think I'm just going to go to sleep and hope things look better in the morning

 

[slendablenda]

Sorry you've had a tough day Joy. licking the prawn cracker won't be the start of the slippery slope unless you let it. Don't.
You are in control here. You are doing really well.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself just remember the genuine reaction of your friend, your parents and the fact that those clothes now fit you again.

Keep it up Joy. xx

 

[Gembritney]

the" lick " of the prawn cracker made me giggle... bless ur little cottons xxxx

 

[LadyT]

Hi

Just read your diary start to finish, hilarious. I think every office has the token 'fat' WW supporter (i was prob that said person in years gone by, only without the spiteful nasty *****y remarks'

I related to so many of your posts, particularly the compliments ones. I have started to smile and say thank you now and also look in the mirror and feel good about myself.

I self affirm about so many things in my life and it works, so why havent I considered doing it with regards to my weight. Doh! Definately something I will be doing in the future.

Keep up the good work! x

 

[dizzy34]

Hi, i just wanted to say how well you have done. It was good for me reading your diary as this is only my second day. I think that the lick of the prawn cracker was good if it stopped you eating a whole bag of them. I can tell from your posts that you are motivated and enthusiastic. I would put your day down to what it probably was 'a bad day' with you feeling down and being hard on yourself. Your only human.
Dizzy xxx

 

[ReezieJay]

Girls I love you all. Thank you soo much for the kind words and support. I'm still feeling a little down and have a new realisation that has only today developed. I've still been 100% so far. I've got 2 weeks left as of Monday before I move onto Lite but I'm failing to see the end result. I would like to have stayed on total for another 4 weeks but have a busy April which would mean me eating out in the evenings. I can make some good choices on lite and still lose the weight while not wasting money on the extra packs I won't use. Unfortunatly/ fortunatly I have been to view a house today with 2 friends and were moving in mid April. I've been waiting so long to be able to move out from home and I can't be more excited but I don't know how long I will be able to continue LL with my lack of funds. I'm about 20lbs from target and I know I won't be losing as much on lite so I'm not gonna make it. I set out at the start of this to reach my target and maintain it but I'm going to have to manage my diet well enough to continue to lose weight without LL. I'm gutted. I'm not ready but I've got 5 weeks till I move out and it's not cheap. So upset if I can afford it I'll continue but I don't think I can

 

[Pinkie :)]

Aww Joy... Maybe you could try one of the cheaper options? Exante is very popular, and you can get a months supply for £100...

Mixed Bumper Pack - 50% OFF

Just until you reach goal? You could use it in conjunction with one meal, like you would on Lite?

xx

 

[ReezieJay]

Ah thanks pinkie. I sat down yesterday with a friend who is good with finance and it looks like I shouldbe able to finish. Another 10 weeks at least. If I do struggle tho at least I know I have an alternative option feeling a lot better about it today. Strange how a few days ago I was getting fed up about the whole LL thing and now I'm presented with the possibility that I might not be able to continue I'm gutted. I've worked so far and spent too much money to not be able to get to goal. So I'll continue for as long as possible and then if I struggle I'll look into xante. Thanks again pinks x

 

[LadyT]

Thats great news, so pleased for you. It must have been a tough couple of days. You are so close to goal now, lucky you!! xx

 

[Pinkie :)]

Aww, no problem Joy... That's great that you reckon you can do at least another 10 weeks... You'll smash it in that time, I'm sure of it! And hey, don't doubt yourself... Sure, LL is fantastic, as we've all seen. But as you now know, there are other alternatives, and with all the counselling etc, I reckon you'd be more disciplined that you realise, if you were forced to come off a VLCD all together for the last bit of weight loss...

You can do it... and whatever happens, whatever life throws at you... I refuse to believe anyone who's clearly as determined as you, will not make it to their goal, and then maintain it for ever... Coz you will!

xx

 

[ReezieJay]

Pinkie thank you so much again. You really are motivating and have really helped me believe in myself. I am determined and I will do this.
Weight day yesterday and lost another 3 so I was hoping for 4 but can't complain. I've now lost 2stone in 6 weeks and have dropped into the next stone bracket. Yay. Just. Quick little update today but I'm going to see if I can make my porridge into pancakes. Will report back on how well that goes. Not well prob but hey I'm gonna give it a go and I've got a spare foodpack if it all goes wrong

 

[ReezieJay]

Ok well that was a major fail. Really don't bother trying that at home it was a major no go

 

[LadyT]

Well done for your loss and doh I fancied a pancake lol, even if it is a porridge style one! xx

 

[ReezieJay]

Thanks tbsx. You've done well too. Our weight losses are so similar.
Yeah I was very disapointed it just burnt on the bottom and then sort of cooked on top just like it does in the microwave so no chance for it sticking together and even close to being able to flip it never mind we can enjoy a couple of pancakes next year as a little treat

 

[Gembritney]

oh marie sounds like it was a bit of trial and error lol..... no pancakes outta porridge for me then .. well done on ur loss xxx

 

[LadyT]

Thanks tbsx. You've done well too. Our weight losses are so similar.
Yeah I was very disapointed it just burnt on the bottom and then sort of cooked on top just like it does in the microwave so no chance for it sticking together and even close to being able to flip it never mind we can enjoy a couple of pancakes next year as a little treat

Hi, our losses are similar wish our amount to lose was lol

Quick question - do you do any exercise? xx

 

[ReezieJay]

Hi pinkie yeh will have to wait till next year to have a taste of pancakes. Although why we only eat them once a year is baffling and everyone goes crazy for them when it's time to eat them yet no one even thinks about them once any other time of year.
Tbsx I don't currenty do any excercise although I al thinking prehaps I should start doing something. To start with I was super happy with my weight loss and then I was told drink more water and you will lose more...so I did and I lost 5lbs on the week I was on aswell. So since I've kept ip my water intake and it's back to 3lbs again. I'm doing everything the same it's so frustrating. Will start swimming once a week as of next week tho see if that helps any. But I can't see it making much of a difference. Might start going for little strolls at lunch time as well as I have an office job I'm sat on my arse all day.
Still staying strong and sticking to the plan although I have become a little more rebelious. It's going to sound stupid as it's literally nothing but for the first 6 weeks I've been good as gold. However this week ...wait for it... I had an incy wincy teeny weenie little peice of pancake on Tuesday litterally about the size of a money spider and yesterday my family all had Kentucky chicken and chips and I had one solitary crumb of the bread crumbs. Now I know this is stupid and won't do any harm in the slightest. But why did I bother? I had no satisfaction from it in the slightest. So my tally of naughtyness now comes to 3.
1. The lick of the prawn cracker
2. The smidge of pancake
3. The crumb of Kentucky
Sad sad sad! What next?? Lol
I'm only slightly worried that because now I'm starting to feel better about myself and that I'm getting compliments that I'm going to convince myself that I'm happy with the way I am when really I'd quite like to lose another 2 stone in the long run. At least another stone on LL. Must remain focused I am not happy with myself. I want to get into size 12 clothes maybe even size 10! And I will do it!
Oh I have noticed that certian parts of me are getting a little boney which is uncomfortable my elbows for example now Hurt when I lean them on my desk at work typing away. I actually had to put a pack of pocket tissues under my arm to cushion it haha. And last night in bed I had my harm on my hip and it was hurting coz the bone was sticking out. To be fair it only sticks out when I lie down so don't all hate me at once lol so I am obviously changing. Just my damn belly. It won't go away!!!

 

[LadyT]

I actually gasped when I read about the pancake, but it was a giggly gasp ha ha!

Bless you having done so well that rebellious child is being a bit naughty at the moment. Dont give in you will soon be at goal xx

 

[dizzy34]

I had to laugh at your post about the pancake and admire your willpower. I cooked them for my daughter but if i would have tasted a bit i would have ate the lot. Well done on your weight loss. I exercise quite a bit. I cycle every other day for 7 miles approx, ride three times per week (but thats not really exercise when your just plodding round) and i muck out most days. I wonder if thats why i only lost 6lb on my first WI.xxx