meowws diary..

[meoww]

off work today and feeling a bit bored! had a great start to the day but now its gone dark and Ive got the weird hunger pangs.. apparently we shouldnt feel hungry in ketosis, well im definiately feeling something!
My pilates class is cancelled tonight :[ theres one on thurs though, I was originally going to do kettlercise on thurs but I think pilates is a better option anyway, I just wanted the OH to join me. but Im going to do a gym session instead with the OH :] and I think some chicken will cheer me up!
I had some fritata earlier but didnt eat it all and Im not sure what was in it..I got it from work. but with the gym and feeling a bit naff a nice protein meal is in order. I will stick to things Ive made myself from now on!

 

[meoww]

Had my chicken stirfry and probably added a bit too much chicken! Im used to eating so much!
today Im trying to avoid a protein meal as my portion sizes might be out, and Ive had things that arent quite on the menu like mackerel, had some cottage cheese and didnt measure how much.
I've honestly resisted so much, such as carrots and tomato on my salads, ham, cheese, fats -all stuff I know is ketosis safe.
So because I have resisted that, I know I can be even tougher on myself.

I think a few days of just sachets, no protein meals.

BTW this is all because my loss doesnt seem too good for wk1 yet!

Official WI will be tomorrow morning, first thing! took some body fat readings too

 

[Felix]

Hello! Good luck with your weigh in - is it today?

Just seen you are in Leeds too. Where abouts?

 

[meoww]

hiya, had weigh in yest, was amazing! 9.5lbs xD
yess Leeds! im in Chapel Allerton -North Leeds, you?

 

[Felix]

hiya, had weigh in yest, was amazing! 9.5lbs xD
yess Leeds! im in Chapel Allerton -North Leeds, you?

Wow that's great! So all that worrying about a smaller loss for nothing I've just moved to the city centre, how exciting haha

 

[meoww]

yep I worried too soon! I think a bit of worrying helps though because I was trying so hard before the WI I ate a bowl of raw cabbage at work! (instead of my nice chicken salad)
thats cool, im not far from city centre, bout 2 miles.

 

[meoww]

poo gone a bit wrong!
got home from work, knackered and desperate need of my tea yesterday and my dad had made a lovely stew, I thought its not quite allowed but some meat would be lovely so made the concious decision to have some, I came to fill my bowl and there was virtually none left! :[ I was gutted I had the teeniest bit and for lack of stew I ended up with dumplings which were not part of the plan! and after all that it was such a disappointing small dinner I was most annoyed.
I then decided to have some quiche and pick off the pastry, which was just not tasty at all so I picked it apart didnt eat much in the end. felt very miffed off with the whole situation.
then I fell asleep and woke 15 mins later in a foul mood, shouting, swearing and having a go at the OH and bless him he saved me!!
I wanted to go to the shop and get loads of sweets and ruin it all and he wouldnt let me!
Im so glad I didnt! I feel slightly 'hungover' from it all.
today my mum is cooking sh*tloads of food for all the family and Im not looking forward to it. shes made something else for me but it doesnt look as appealing as what else is on offer! must power through and get back on the wagon 100% tomorrow!
luckily Im 1lb less than was on my WI so no lasting damage yet!

 

[meoww]

Feeling so grumpy. This lack of sugar in the brain is testing me!
I feel grumpy, irritable and vaguely depressed.
I'm so bored! I feel like my family don't actually like me. My OH is doing a great job to put up with me, but he's not here now so I'm just lazing around bored out of my tree.
I really want to just go and get drunk in town and talk to random people! But.. a Monday night.. really? I'm off work tomorrow.
meh!

I'm getting my tattoos retouched tomorrow so at least I'll get out of the house.

maybe its problems I would have ignored before and eaten something instead?

 

[meoww]

reviewed my 'mini goals' and added dates to them!

I think theres something somewhere about making goals measured, and setting timeframes for them

 

[meoww]

wow tattooing hurts a lot when I have no sugar in my system! (and caffeine for that matter!) kept me busy anyway.
I also made a lovely stew, very lean beef (not quite allowed..) with celeriac and swede, no other added naughties just some stock and herbs, it was lovely..just I ate a little bit too much!
weigh in tomorrow morning, I have a feeling ive STS, I had an amazing loss last week though! Just want to get back in to the 11stones

I am so cold right now!!! loads of layers on but my hands and feet are suffering! cant type properly!
need to drink loads of water too im seriously not having enough, last week when I bumped up my water intake my losses jumped up a notch.
going cinema later though so dont want to spend half the film in the loo!
I actually find the drinking water one of the hardest aspects of this diet!

 

[Felix]

How did your weigh in go? And what did you have tattooed?! I'd no covered if I could afford it dying to have my next one done!

 

[meoww]

Here agaaainnnnnn

hmm think I can see why I didnt succeed with all the negative energy ooozing from the last posts!
Got my beck book, reading it! working through it and trying again, now im really going for it, ive got my goal date I am fed up of not achieving it, Im fed up of being obsessed by and ruled by food!
sorting this out now!
Ive got all these response cards ready and my book handy and a plan!
I might write my food in here too as the book tells me to plan what im going to eat each day and then tick it all off when I do it or amend if I dont stick with it.

 

[meoww]

ok Day 2
water
warm water
coffee and milk (milk allowance over several coffees)
lunch: tuna salad, olives, green veg with nettle&mint tea
more water
Tea, warm water
*pilates class* (not edible unfortunately)
water
doubled up meal sachet
water
bar &cuppa tea
water


mmmmm delish! tastes like being skinny

 

[meoww]

zero noodles for tea, were amazing! with a splash of soy and fish maybe would be nice

 

[meoww]

Phew nearly there with day 2 feeling slight pain!

Did pilates and was struggling!! its hardlyy strenuous!
think I'll enjoy an early night and a lie in tomorrow!

Just need to get though tomorrow night, I always struggle on the first Friday night of the diets, usually I come off plan on this so really need to take extra care. The OH is out too BUT I have my beck diet book techniques to help me!

 

[slim_and_happy]

Hi there. Just popping in to say hello. You're doing great!
This time next week your energy levels will be sky high so the Pilates won't be as strenuous.

Have a good day

 

[meoww]

thanks!

 

[meoww]

Sunday sunday!

bored!


mums cooking roast.. shes got me some chicken and stuffing it with mushrooms, Ive got to do some carb dodging when it comes to my veg!
but ive done so well so far to eat certain foods but not slip in the things I shouldnt have
and when I get too hard on myself Im more likely to give up altogether! rather than just keep going!

I made an amazing curry last night! recipe on the recipes page! anyone reading, go check it out!

onwards!

 

[meoww]

Dr Beck told me to practice not eating certain foods from your plate, you are to put something on your plate that you arent supposed to eat, then practice eating your meal and avoiding that food type.
So I made a salad at work and put two pieces of pasta on it, and I managed to resist! A couple of times I shoved it around with my fork but I didnt pick it up, so im happy about that!

I think she also says to portion yourself out too much and then before you start eating, take the excess and put it to one side of the plate.

The idea is to practice not clearing your plate for future events where you dont control what goes on the plate.

I told my OH about it and he was unsure (hes a plate licker!) and we discussed the notion of appearing rude -especially at family gatherings. And then the history of plate clearing, he thought it was a prim and proper thing to clear plates but I think its dainty to leave some. The upper classes would lay on feasts and people would not eat it all, excessive amounts would be laid out to show off.
Whereas the poorer classes would eat everything they had as it was expensive, and I think leaving food would be frowned upon or cause worry (perhaps they're sickening?)

But in Japanese culture its rude to clean your plate as you imply they didnt give you enough.

So I said to him, perhaps its fine to politely explain to the host that their food was delicious, and I am full to the brim, thank you! (but Ive left some) and I doubt many people would take offence at this point, and if they do then its not my concern, and its not an excuse to overeat and get fat!

 

[meoww]

And here I am not sure when to weigh in!
I usually WI on thursdays.. its kind of my Monday as im off weds and sometimes tues and I get that monday feeling as thurs fri and sat are hard days at work (busy!)
but technically I should WI on a weds, as I started on a weds.. so this time last week was day 1 so now im wk2 day1 but I still am confused.

Anyway I've weighed in today! and next weds is the end of April (already?!) and I set myself a challenging challenge! of..12lbs to loose..eek! can I do that...

well, this week Ive done a mixture of shakes and low carb meals, my fat levels may be slightly too high, my water intake has been fair, my carb intake went too high one day but otherwise been ok.

Ive lost 5lbs so far, which is actually fairly good, I have probably been eating between 600-800 calories and I think its 100 times better than what I was doing before (which was sod all!)

so Im going to carry on! I might still shift another 5 or even 6 this week, who knows!

Ive been using my beck book lots and its helping, Ive been reviewing my patterns too and noticing what caused me to keep coming off my diet and it was a few things;
*It would be between week1 and 2, week 3 never happened
*I would slowly slip in bits and bobs that arent allowed
*I would have one bad day, then go really hard on myself -I do recall eating a bowl of dry raw cabbage and cucumber
*I allowed myself to reduce to tears because I wanted to eat (done this twice) infront of OH too -probably hoping he would get worried and help me give in
*The carbs allowed barriers would slowly be shifted

Then one day Im eating a sandwich and its all gone t*ts up!

Writing all this stuff down definitely helps!