My Diary...

tut tut! today has not been good. drank a shake, had 4 litres of water and then something happened. I was making the meal for tea (lentil soup) and ended up having some. v v v bad! however, am sat here now with another shake. not going to have my final shake today as feel really full from all my nibbles!!!

hope i can lose something by saturday and really need to pull my finger out and stop messing about on CD. ok, confession done now! hopefully i wont have eaten enough to gain anything so am going to have to be extra good for the rest of this week,
 
just console yourself with the fact that at least it was healthy lentil soup. could have been fatty foods. tomorrow is a whole new day, u can get back on track hun. i know you can.
glad you got my message hun, yep lots in common im sure. being good mums is the best we have.xx
 
arrrrggghhhh. am so upset. just cant get my head in gear this week. struggling and for the first ever on CD i have had a full meal on a weekday that was unplanned. the meal was bad. now i feel sad, desperate and like a failure. i feel like this week is wasted now and theres no pint in carrying on. like i will never get to my pre-hols weight. like i will EVER get to goal. like i will never be in control of my life. like i will always be a slave to food and its allure. like i am a loser.

i have tried to tell myself that if i am 100% until weigh in on sat i can probably sts but feel so low at the moment that i am not convincing myself. this week will be a write off and its all my own fault. i have been doing cd more or less since jan (with 2 serious breaks) and feel out of love with cd at the moment. out of love with myself too.

why is life so hard? why does work have to be so stressful?
 
don't beat yourself up and get back on track as if you don't you'll just end up putting on, at least now you can grab the reigns and limit any damage and loss. you can get the rest off. don't be like me and live in limbo land. YOU CAN DO THIS! GET A GRIP NOW!

i think that it is harder the closer you get to goal. i had my holiday and put on 4 odd pounds. then i had a root canal treatment so couldn't go down the plans and get my head back in the game. so have felt pretty much in limbo ever since. i feel that i just can't do it anymore. that's why i'm now doing 1500 cals and also pointing out my meals from ww points system. maybe in a few weeks time i can drop to a lower plan for a few weeks and get more off. at the moment i'm sticking to 1500 and exercising every day but saturday and loosing 1/2lb in 2 weeks :( i so want to get back to it full force.
 
hey leeds, listen to greatthings. you can start afresh today and pull back any damage, which im sure wont be loads. i know i shouldnt encourage you off CD but ww is really working for me, and theres nothing you cant have as long as you have the points for it. im much happier on this diet. yes its slower weightloss but at least the weight should stay off longer this way, also you dont have to miss out on anything and can enjoy meal times with your family. to get to goal you havent much to loose now have you, im sure you could do it eating nice meals. i appreciate food much more now that ive done CD.
hope you have a good day, whether your eating or doing CD. dont let food control you. ive done that for so long. your the boss!!!!!xxx
 
aw, you remembered me! thanks dani and nickki. i have been having an awful time at work (links in with my not being able to stick to cd this week???) and just a bit low. however, i am delighted to report that after terrible tuesday i was 100% on wed and thurs and weighed in today down 1lb. this isnt a lot for some but for me every pound is a milestone and after this week i am just glad i have lost at all. i really should be weighing in tomorrow but i know i cannot do 100% ss cd today so weighed today to ease the pressure from myself. so today its water and a bar for brekkie with a cuppa tea mid-morning. cottage cheese salad for lunch and then a healthy tea or shake depending on how i feel.

felt a bit too low to even come on my diary but i can tell you it took ALL the strength i had to jump back on the wagon on weds. hoping for a 2lbs loss next week but its TOM next week and my work issues are unlikely to go away so all i can promise myself for now is to try my best. hope you are all doing ok!
 
Hey miss

I feel like that when I am not being 100% but you should come on here regardless, it reallys helps to push you into being 100% again.

Don't let work get you down, its only a small part of your life and focus on all the positive things you have happening in your life.

you're so close to your goal, you deserve to reach it so go for it and try not to let your emotions rule your head

xxx
 
cheers red. I just wish i could follow that advice......
 
flaming work... hope things improve for you.
 
aww so glad your ok hun. dont worry about going off plan it sounds like its prerry stressful at work. sometimes things happen and it cant be helped. u just stay strong hun and ul come out fighting. well done on the lb. thats a bag of sugar u have to remember. good luck for tomorrow.xx
 
hello, only me!

so having my water and shakes and its TOM in a few days. i hope it arrives on time at the beg of the week so i can lose soemthing before i weigh in on fri-sat. i would love to lose a few pounds this week, but life is so freaking manic! sometimes i wish i could just stay home with all my babies, and then i feel guilty. i dont need to work financially but do a couple of days so i retain my independence, and sanity. in the past when i have not worked i have ended up becoming quite depressed, so i need to have work in my life as it gives me something to focus on. i know it sounds crazy. plus, its part of my identity. however, recently, i think how life would be so good without work as its so stressful! when i had my third child i used to think how great it would be if i wasnt fat, now i have lost most of my weight i think 'am i good enough mum'? when i work i feel guilty, when i dont work i feel low and guilty. yesterday me and hubby went out to a posh diner for lunch and we spent LOADS on it. i felt SO guilty afterwards. why why why? it was a lot of money but we NEVER have lunch out, and its not a drop compared to our monthly income. i am sick of always giving myself a hard time and always pushing myself so hard. i am what i am. i have to accept that. ihave a fantastic life and i need to start living in the moment. sorry to moan today, i just need to do it. i sometimes feel i dont love myself at all, and i need to, and want to. if i slip up at work/home/diet then its ok, i am only human andi am trying my best. i am split so many ways i often lose myself completely. i have decided to join a very expensive gym near my house in sept so that i have some me time. i never joined as i thought it was too much (again, the £60 it costs a month is what i earn in half an hour) but no more. i will invest in myself. I admit i am having a bit of CD weird phase at the moment but i have no deadline. I will keep trying and my aim is to be at 10 stone for my birthday in November. no pressure, no rush, and no recriminations.

phew, needed to get that out!!

today is going to be a good day....
 
Hi Leeds, I've been having a crappy week with work too! What do you do for a living? I wish I was earning what you are..lol! :)

Glad to hear your getting your head back around CD though.
 
hi kez, i work as a lawyer. so even part time i earn well.

shanny, hello! yes, you were right, yesterday wa a good day.

wish TOM would hurry up and arrive, the suns here though which makes a massive difference to my mood. its the last week of school and i am one of those sad mums who loves having the kids home but its hard to do cd with the kids around as all routine is out the window. anyway, aiming for a 2lbs loss this week and am on my first shake of the day. wish me luck!
 
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