My Diary...

Good luck! lol

I am on shake 1 of the day too.
 
I love having my kids At home also Leeds and I don't think it's sad I think it's great. My kids are on their first day today. I work shifts so I have a few days off with them this week and a few at work then I am off for 3 weeks. Can't wait. I think juggling a stressful job, children as well as finding " me time" is very difficult and maintaing a diet on top of it even more so . Don't beat yourself up about it but be proud at what you have achieved so far. PinkyJ x
 
hey leeds, i hope your are still having good days, just caught up with your diary. you really shouldnt feel guilty for so many things. i hope that when you got all that off your chest the other day that you took on board what you said. have you sorted your gym membership??? do it if you will feel good hun. ya right u should enjoy your life with ya little family. sounds like a cracking life :) xx
 
hi pinky and dani. yes, i am still here, and after i wrote that message about feeling guilty all the time i deffo felt much better. ths diary is SO cathartic.

am still on cd, but having 2 shakes and a meal at night. and tea. i started TOM today too which is good as i hate being late. just hoping i lose something this week and have been good on cd this week so will see. thank you for passing by and reading, and extra thanks for those who take the time to comment.
 
hiya hun, im so glad that you feel better and yes i definately agree, its brill to get everything off yr chest on here.
are you doing much in the school hols?? have you got any time off?
im looking forward to the hols. hope the weather is going to be good. hope today has been a good day chick.xxx
 
hi dani, am at work and feel sick. i dont think i can handle being here much longer, its so stressful and making me ill.

anyway, this week has been ok, started TOM on time but currently no weight loss. will keep trying though and maybei will have a good loss next week? hope you are well and thanks for stopping by!
 
hiya hun, how are you today??? hope the sickness has gone away. its horrible being sick or even feeling sick. it doesnt sound like your enjoying being at work hun. cant you take some time out?? i meant to ask but keep forgetting. what type of law do you practice?
dont stress this week, its def due to TOM. next week will be much better. keep ya chin up n try not to dwell.
last day of school whoop whoop!!!! lol. will miss chatting this week but will try n catch up on tues. you take care n have a good day.xxx
 
hiya dani. i lost another 1lb this week, and feel crappy about these losses, but to be honest i am kinda cruising along at the moment. need to give it a good push but havent the mental strength at the moment.

just glad i am managing not to eat crap and even though its slow at least i'm not gaining. ok, so hoping for 2lbs next week.

hurrah for end of term, i am work for a bit now so that will be nice and its sunny here today. thanks for all your support dani.

healthy eating (1200 cals) today and tomorrow and then back to ss+ on sunday. speak soon and have a fab weekend dani
 
hey each 1lb off is better than 1lb on, its a bag of sugar each time hun. ive not stuck at it properly this week and with going to blackpool this week i think i will struggle but im not guna get hung up about it. just not going to go mad and eat too many chip shop teas etc lol. got to enjoy this week as dont know when will have a full week away together again. hubby hopefully starting new job in next couple of weeks so thats more important. but i will do day things with the kids and they will have days away with grandparents so wont miss out. im so glad its the hols now.
you dont have to thank me for support chick. u dont realise how much u support me too, i really need our chats. will miss not coming on here and talking this week. im sure by the time i come back online on tues you will be in a good head space and feeling very good about yourself. just remember all those little 1lb losses add up. slower the weight comes off then the longer it will stay off hun. take care and have a good weekend too hun.xx
 
hey, you're doing brilliantly. weight off is great, just remember that. :D
 
hello everyone, have taken a leap into the unknown and come off cd (kinda). just feel i have come to a bit of a crossroads with cd and with so much on for the next month as its school hols i thought i would change tac a bit. so, this week i am having one cd product a day (shake or bar depending on how i feel) and low cals for the other meals . so yest i had a shake for brekkie, water, and lunch was some fruit, evening meal was some lamb kebabs with salad. today i have a piece of granary toast with big cuppa tea for brekkie, lunch will be big with leftover grilled kebabs and salad and evening meal will be a shake.

dont know why i am doing this really, but just felt i needed a change. i am happy with losing 1lb a week but cant put my life on hold for cd for the next few weeks . if i low cal i can still go to the seaside and eat, go to the cinema and take my own low cal popcorn. most of all, i think i need to just get back into the habit of eating healthily. also, am having dentist work next week so knowing i will have to come off cd made the decision easier. i will do a week of cd nxt week but for this week i will try and cal count and see how i get on. would be DELIGHTED to lose 1lb this way but got a funny feeling i will prob sts.

i worked out that i am exactly 14lbs from my dream goal, will i ever get there? i dont know and i am scared this week as i am off cd (well still on it but not 100%) and dont know what to expect. cd has been a permanent part of my life since Jan this year and i just feel i need to step back and reassess. surely if i eat well and low cal i cant gain can i??? pls give me some words of advice if you can..... will report back on how its all going tomorrow!
 
dear diary i am back! and feeling very melancholy. i wish i could accept i have lost a lot of weight and look ok. i wish i could eat what i wanted. i wish i could open that big bad of matesers and medicate myself today. i wish my middle child didn't pee himself. i wish i could stop blaming myself for everything bad around me. i wish i could continue HE this week instead of running back to CD like its some kind of crutch....

ok, rant over. so i have stuck to 1300 cals today but i feel full and bloated and miss CD. i refuse to go back to cd tomorrow as IT IS NOT my crutch. i have to deal with my issues myself as do not want to be relient on CD all my life.

i dont know why i am having a low day, i dont know why food/dieting is taking over my life and every thought these days!!! arghhhhhhhh.

hmm, feeling a bit better for that rant. thank you dearest diary for letting me come and offload on you. you are the best listener, you are always calm, non judgemental, you never asnwer back and you never criticise. you take all my crap and then wait patiently for me to come back and rant again. you really have kept me going these last 6 months.... i hope we can stay together a bit longer??.....
 
hi leeds

i'm exactly the same as you. we've both lost loads but i feel, don't know bout you, that i'd like a bit more off but i just seem to have lost momentum. my cdc did say that maybe i'm doing too much exercise and it's making my health suffer - constantly tired, insomnia, loosing hair, craving salt, cold etc etc

my friend has said something similar as i've got kids just like you and we both now how much time these munchkins take up. she also said that with the amount of exercise i'm doing i should actually be able to eat what i want! nope, i can't. so i'm stuck.

since starting iron tablets i seem to have gone off food :(
 
hey leeds, how is HE going?? do u feel better for being able to chew things?? im sure eating healthy food will be easier for u through the hols. if your not happy at the end of hols u could always CD for a few weeks. but at least u are being healthy hun. hope u are happy. everytime u loose even half a pound u are getting closer to goal. i wish i was down to my last 14lb. u need to look back to january and see the difference in yourself from then and now. im sure that will put a huge smile on your face. u have done brilliant and it isnt an easy ride on CD. pat yourself on the back. have you got any or your previous weight clothes???? go and put an old outfit on n look in the mirror. i bet u can really laugh at yourself because im sure the outfit would hang off u. be proud of how far u have come!!!!! dont blame yourself so much for things. sometimes things just happen. take it in ya stride.now its the holidays, be a bit more laid back and dont be rigid. u can always get kids back into a good routine the week b4 school. just have funtimes and relax. let up on yourself a bit. have fun.xxxxx
 
OMG, feeling really low! have just found out that HMRC never got my application for child benefit for my youngest who is 1. they only backdate by 3 months so i have missed out on about £2,00 child benefit and tax credit. its really really upset me as i feel that unless i do anything in my house it doesnt get done. i am tired of shouldering responsibility for everything in my house! its too much, its tipped me over the edge!

its not the money side of it thats upsetting (even though it really has upset me!), its just that i had a horrible section, i have 2 other kids, i was back at work before my baby even turned 1, i dont have a second to myself some days and i am angry at myself for overlooking this.

I am also angry that my hubby should have done it and checked. HMRC are rubbish and so are tax credit people. i cant keep track of the deadlines and i am SO ANGRY at myself. i am ashamed to say ihave cried about this and feel low and it has not helped my mood at all. i take my eye off one of the hundreds of balls i am juggling and this is what happens, will i ever be able to just 'be' ever again or is my life going to continue like this? arrghhhhhhh
 
only me again!

so had a couple of tough days and yesterday did so well until i fell head first into a small slice of leftover pizza!!!! bad bad bad! because of this i will probably sts on fri but am still hoping that i have a 1lbs loss overnight. will report tomorrow.

maybe i need to maintain for a few weeks and then come back to ss? still thinking it all through. delighted that despite another horrible week i have managed not to eat a load of crap. believe me, there have been moments this week when i have NEEDED to fall into a bag of maltesers and have resisted. so every cloud, eh?
 
I can understand your frustration over the child tax credit problem but like you said you are juggling many balls at once. Dont beat yourself up over this you don't deserve it.
You have done fantastic to continue with the CD even if you have had a blip with the pizza, if that would have been me it would have been much more than a piece of pizza or 2. Be proud of yourself.
Maybe you could look at sharing more of the balls out and juggle less. Your OH maybe could take on a bit more responsibility, or whenever you attend paperwork type things have a diary that you jot reminders down in for you both to look at.
Take care xxx
 
leeds123 said:
OMG, feeling really low! have just found out that HMRC never got my application for child benefit for my youngest who is 1. they only backdate by 3 months so i have missed out on about £2,00 child benefit and tax credit. its really really upset me as i feel that unless i do anything in my house it doesnt get done. i am tired of shouldering responsibility for everything in my house! its too much, its tipped me over the edge!

its not the money side of it thats upsetting (even though it really has upset me!), its just that i had a horrible section, i have 2 other kids, i was back at work before my baby even turned 1, i dont have a second to myself some days and i am angry at myself for overlooking this.

I am also angry that my hubby should have done it and checked. HMRC are rubbish and so are tax credit people. i cant keep track of the deadlines and i am SO ANGRY at myself. i am ashamed to say ihave cried about this and feel low and it has not helped my mood at all. i take my eye off one of the hundreds of balls i am juggling and this is what happens, will i ever be able to just 'be' ever again or is my life going to continue like this? arrghhhhhhh
Click to expand...

awww hun... it's called being a mother. we have to shoulder all the responsibility alone. i do everything around the house.... everything! men just go to work - end of story! i think it would be easy to just go to work as you get break, a breather, time for you etc. your work as a mum is never over. i worked until 11pm last night painting the kids playroom cause hubby wouldn't do it. he actually told me to leave it cause matthew would go through a drawing on walls period too. it looked so so bad :( i couldn't leave it. the only advantage i have on you is that i don't work. childcare for 2 would be too expensive and my parents are too old to look after them. 1 was ok but 2 is a no no.
 
hi, i STS this week, ok about this.

Am at work, and feel like crying again..... i dont like it here...... thanks for those reading and supporting me.
 
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