My journey to a 32" waist and a girlfriend...

[TheSingleDad]

(roots for hammer, nails, allen key, hacksaw...)

xx

 

[juju_doll]

I'm not sure you need an Allen key to build a bridge. Unless you've got it from ikea .. X

 

[TheSingleDad]

I hope that the bridge will come with clear instructions, and ideally not in Swedish....

xx

 

[juju_doll]

Do you need step by step? X

 

[TheSingleDad]

I fear that I do.....

x

 

[1974rach]

hey up you!

now i feel like i can say this to you because, well, you know why...

You are in the prime of your life and it is about time you had a bit of time to enjoy yourself so get out there kiddo and start having the time of your life.

You are a lovely lovely man, and any woman would be lucky to have you. I know it isn't easy, because we are putting ourselves out there and it makes us feel vulnerable. You are stronger than you think. You set yourself a weightloss goal, and you achieved it. You've been on two blind dates. You're halfway there!

Believe in yourself and what you have to offer. Everyone gets cold feet, so don't worry about that - your time will most certainly come

xxx

 

[TheSingleDad]

Its just happening.

Talking / messaging is fine...but speaking and meeting?? It just doesnt feel comfortable at all... Cant do it.

Proper crisis of confidence this one.

x

 

[1974rach]

Its just happening.

Talking / messaging is fine...but speaking and meeting?? It just doesnt feel comfortable at all... Cant do it.

You can do it! You've done it before - just relax. Meeting and speaking is just that, meeting and having a chat and I bet you do it every day at work, but you have to just be in the moment and not think is this the woman I am going to spend the next 20 years with.

Proper crisis of confidence this one.

Confidence is a curious thing - when we need it most it deserts us and when we are feeling at our most relaxed we could take on the world. My confidence had been knocked out of me quite literally and it took a long time to stop feeling like bambi.

x

Eeeh lad you are in a pickle. I wish I had a magic wand I could wave over you to give you a bit of va va voom.

xxx

 

[TheSingleDad]

I know the advice is right, but I just dont seem to able to act on it...

xx

 

[1974rach]

there's clearly something stopping you taking the plunge - any thoughts what it could be?

I get the impression that finding a partner is important to you, and you feel ready to do it, but there is something which just isn't sitting well with you.

xxx

 

[TheSingleDad]

On reflection, it is, yes.

It is important to me - i turned 40 3 weeks ago, and I didnt envisage being single at 40. I certainly didnt envisage being a single dad at 40, that is for certain. That said, the kids are a blessing and I love them so so dearly - they have been the best thing in my life for a long time. I cherish my role as a Dad, truly.

I do feel ready to be attached, thats quite right - i certainly do not feel ready to do the "getting attached" bit though - dreading that.

x

 

[1974rach]

Belated Happy Birthday wishes. 40 eh? This is when life begins honey.

With regard to the "getting attached bit" stop thinking about it. I'm not entirely sure I know what you mean (s...e...x? perhaps?) But you can't live your life being terrified.

Baby steps is the best way forward - and if I may I am going to bombard you with cliches. Get out and meet some new people, widen your social circle, ring the local college and go on an evening course. You probably aren't going to meet Miss Wonderful but you'll meet new people and you'll gain a bit more confidence (and I suspect that you are struggling a bit on the confidence front)

There is nothing you can't do - but above all there is nothing stopping you from being blissfully happy. All it takes is a big deep breath and a big jump into the unknown.

xxx