Hi gang.
So my parents are gone. They left this morning and I can't stop crying
Life sucks sometimes. I got so used to them being around it sure feels lonely in my house now. You'd think that after 15 years it'd get easier to say goodbye to them but no. It gets harder every time. They're both in their 70's and not of great health. I hate the fact we live so far away from each other (my sister and I both live in abroad). I want them near me. I want to look after them and make sure they're safe. I'm actually contemplating moving them over here. They could sell their house back there and we could buy somewhere here so we can all be together.
I'm extremely close to my family and I just want everyone to be happy.
I'm very sad but at the same time I'm very grateful. I had the best time. Since I left home in 1999 I've never spent whole 2 weeks with them so I will treasure that forever. It was exactly what I needed.
I feel recharged and ready for this upcoming year.
2014 has to be the year of my transition. I want achieve/ change so many things and I strongly feel that in order for me to get there I need to be slim and fit. My dream is to work in the fitness industry and clearly weighing as much as I do now I won't get very far. I love my current job but I don't want to be retail for the rest of my life. I have maybe a year or two left in me of standing on my feet for 10 hours a day.
I have plantar fasciitis in both of my feet which is largely related to the job I'm doing. I'm in constant pain and even though they say it's not related I'm sure being this heavy doesn't help.
It's time to grow some balls and finally make a permanent change. I keep saying to people, if you're not happy about something change it. It's time to start practicing what I preach damnit!
I am slightly angry at myself to be honest. I really thought I had this the last time I lost the weight. I kept it off for over 2 years. Then a major kick in the butt from life and back I am turning to feed for comfort. How do I break this self destructive cycle. Is it breakable?
I sure shall find out this year. I'm tired of this bs.
On a positive note. It's day 6!
Had my first pack about an hour ago. I was out of the house by 7 to drop mum and dad off to the airport so I didn't bother with packs till I got back. I need to catch up with my water though as I didn't drink much all morning.
Looking forward to my first weigh in on Sunday
Hope everyone is cool.
M x