My journey to slim and happy...

[slim_and_happy]

Not posted for a while as I had a few bad days. Not diet wise thank god. My depression has intensified in the past week. I'm not sure if its diet related or separate issue but the past few days haven't been great.
I woke up today and decided to try and help myself a little by trying to have a productive day.
Off to church now, then gym, then back home to do some cleaning.

Hope everyone has a good day.

 

[Minerva]

Hi Slim...

I find that there are triggers on these forums for depression... people reveal things about their struggles and histories which maybe make you think about your own... I know from experience, sometimes things written here are a good therapeutic tool because it makes us reassess who we are a little bit. We're all your collective counsellor if you know what I mean?
This diet is tough. It's taken your coping mechanism away. You're an inspiration because you're DEALING with your problem without resorting to your (and our!) usual method of drowning the problem.

It took me a long time to realise that my relationship with food was only a symptom of something deeper and more complicated; my past, my emotional distance with my dad, being removed from my 'home' and my 'parents' (grandparents!) to live in an alien country at a young age... You've had a complicated family dynamic which made you associate food with certain safeties... We DON'T like to think about these things because they hurt. A few days ago you started thinking about it... along with the trials and tribulations of the guy overseas and the stress in your job... it's understandable you're feeling a little bit blue...

You're doing everything right today, keeping busy.

Have a lovely day.

x

 

[LifesDesire]

Awww I hope you're feeling better soon, hopefully being up and about today will help x

 

[biggusburdus]

We are all here, we all have our issues and its great to blog them. Then when we read back we can then see how for we have come.

Slowly does it, go easy on yourself and hugs from here.

 

[lottiebird]

Hi Slim, hope you are feeling ok

I think blogging is actually a great idea, I might start one myself. Don't feel alone in this, we are all here for you xx

 

[slim_and_happy]

Hi everyone.
Thank you so much for your replies and kind words. They mean more than you think!
I'm doing better.
I had a very nice day yesterday. The weather was glorious so I ended up scrapping the housework and went for a long walk along the canal. It's been glorious.
I had a good long chat with my family back home which always helps.
The main conclusion I came up with over the past few days is that I need to stop being so harsh on myself. I constantly beat myself up for my failures. It comes from the fact I'm such a perfectionist. I have high expectations of others and myself. I need to learn to let go.
It's ok to fail sometimes, it's ok to be not perfect.
I've been toying with the idea of anti depressants and I'm still in two minds about it. I've done a lot of research and as I appreciate they really help some people, I'd like to think that I am able to help myself. This diet is a first step in the right direction. I strongly feel it really will make a massive difference and not only because of the weight loss but also (maybe mostly) because it strips you naked off all the walls you've been building over the years and almost forces you to face your issues head on. I'm very aware of this and I plan to embrace this process completely!
Off to work now equipped with an abundance of positivity!

Have a great day everyone

 

[Minerva]

I'm so glad you had a chance to air the cobwebs out and have a lovely walk! It's always so refreshing and gives some space to think about things.

I think what you're feeling about being a perfectionist and beating yourself up about things is something most of us do... On one of our LL sessions years ago our LL counsellor asked us to really think about what our internal monologue sounds like; and then apply it. Would we speak like that to our friend? Most probably not. It made me realise how much I hated myself, when actually, I should be my own best friend in a way? (LOL sounds so weird). It IS ok to fail sometimes - because we're meant to learn from our mistakes. There is nothing wrong with stumbling every once in a while.

I would encourage you to stay off the medication, in my experience it did more harm than good... In my case medication didn't actually make depression go away, I knew it was there, but the chemicals FORCED a false elation. More of a curse than a cure to be honest!
Doing what you are doing now - REALLY looking at your issues, REALLY working through on your own - is a LONG-TERM cure. The anti depressants may mask the feelings for a little while, but the core issue will remain unresolved.

You're doing great Slim, keep working on it. There are no hard and fast answers to any of this... just take it one day at a time.

x

 

[battybelle]

I'm so glad you had a chance to air the cobwebs out and have a lovely walk! It's always so refreshing and gives some space to think about things.

I think what you're feeling about being a perfectionist and beating yourself up about things is something most of us do... On one of our LL sessions years ago our LL counsellor asked us to really think about what our internal monologue sounds like; and then apply it. Would we speak like that to our friend? Most probably not. It made me realise how much I hated myself, when actually, I should be my own best friend in a way? (LOL sounds so weird). It IS ok to fail sometimes - because we're meant to learn from our mistakes. There is nothing wrong with stumbling every once in a while.

I would encourage you to stay off the medication, in my experience it did more harm than good... In my case medication didn't actually make depression go away, I knew it was there, but the chemicals FORCED a false elation. More of a curse than a cure to be honest!
Doing what you are doing now - REALLY looking at your issues, REALLY working through on your own - is a LONG-TERM cure. The anti depressants may mask the feelings for a little while, but the core issue will remain unresolved.

You're doing great Slim, keep working on it. There are no hard and fast answers to any of this... just take it one day at a time.

x

Hi slim_and_happy I'm glad you feel better and you are using your own strength to get through this. I'm on antidepressants and have been since the age of 16 due to a family history of it. I'm not Biplor thank god but depression and anxiety runs in our family. Minerva is so right. Mine have stopped working now anyway which the problem with them. Thankfully I will be having intensive therapy and hope to be able to come off them altogether so don't go near them. You're a good person and you have done well to get out and about. So many alternatives to meds. I'm on antipsychotics too which is a bit of a worry but also the therapy will help that also. They are a mask and take away your own self helps tools. I'm much more into alternatives these days which you have recognised. Well done we all care about you. Big hugs xx

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[slim_and_happy]

Thank you batty! I really appreciate it.
I'm very much against anti depressants whereas my sister is the opposite. I had a chat with her yesterday and she was trying to convince me it's the only solution.
Well. It isn't. She's the perfect example. She's been taking them for nearly a year and I personally haven't seen any improvement. Her issues are still there, she just thinks its all gone away!
We both are very different that way. She's very scared to tackle her issues head on so she hides them deep inside of her soul and I rather face my sh&t and try to overcome it. I'm very grateful for all your advice ladies. I will get there

 

[battybelle]

Thank you batty! I really appreciate it.
I'm very much against anti depressants whereas my sister is the opposite. I had a chat with her yesterday and she was trying to convince me it's the only solution.
Well. It isn't. She's the perfect example. She's been taking them for nearly a year and I personally haven't seen any improvement. Her issues are still there, she just thinks its all gone away!
We both are very different that way. She's very scared to tackle her issues head on so she hides them deep inside of her soul and I rather face my sh&t and try to overcome it. I'm very grateful for all your advice ladies. I will get there

You can speak to me anytime. Like Minerva I know a lot. Just do what you want and feel is best for you. If you go on meds then you will have to be monitored by your GP like me. I like to facc S#^T head on too. I have a lovely mum and my dad was great but I had bullying throughout all schools and in the workplace and I married a bully too. We are divorced now thank god. So that's why I'm having therapy to overcome it all. I haven't read your diary properly and I'm new to you but we're always here. Don't take notice of your sister. Whether this diet is for me or not with meds only time will tell. But bingeing like I did was due to a combination of feelings all pent up for me. Take care hun you're doing grand. Xx

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[lottiebird]

Hi Slim,

Just to voice the other side of the coin, I am on antidepressants and find them to be a big help. I was so overwhelmed before I started them I could no longer function and became a total recluse, I couldn't even use the phone anymore. They calmed me down enough to return to work after being off long term sick, and enabled me to start being productive instead of hiding away in bed all day.

Admittedly I still have my demons to face, but I'm grateful to not be a constant wreck in the process. Yes it is just a mask, but it feels so much more bearable now.

It's a very personal choice, and I definitely think its best to try other options first. But if you ever reach a crisis point like I did, do consider it as an option.

 

[battybelle]

Hi Slim,

Just to voice the other side of the coin, I am on antidepressants and find them to be a big help. I was so overwhelmed before I started them I could no longer function and became a total recluse, I couldn't even use the phone anymore. They calmed me down enough to return to work after being off long term sick, and enabled me to start being productive instead of hiding away in bed all day.

Admittedly I still have my demons to face, but I'm grateful to not be a constant wreck in the process. Yes it is just a mask, but it feels so much more bearable now.

It's a very personal choice, and I definitely think its best to try other options first. But if you ever reach a crisis point like I did, do consider it as an option.

Well said lottie too they have their plus sides. I was in that state a few times and they lifted me out of it. They don't do much for me now and I get reclusive still but hopefully therapy will help. I think slim_and_happy you will be ok chick fingers crossed xxx

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[slim_and_happy]

Thanks ladies. I will see how it goes. Like I said. There are people that benefit from anti depressants no doubt and if I feel I can't cope anymore I will definitely consider that option. For now the plan is just to be good to myself. I'm learning to love and cherish myself again and finally start believing there loads of people out there who love and care about me.

Day 20 something. I've lost count now. Still going strong. I've had half a box of low fat cottage cheese for lunch along with my pack. I was hungry and I needed something different. I'm sure I'll be fine though. I have a very active job, I run around all day doing several flights of stairs multiple times so I am sure I would have burnt it off. Day off tomorrow and weds so gym time and housework. Somebody has to do it right?! My housemate is useless so I've given up counting on him help me long time ago lol. I love him to bits though so I don't mind.

How is everyone dong this evening?

 

[biggusburdus]

Thanks ladies. I will see how it goes. Like I said. There are people that benefit from anti depressants no doubt and if I feel I can't cope anymore I will definitely consider that option. For now the plan is just to be good to myself. I'm learning to love and cherish myself again and finally start believing there loads of people out there who love and care about me.

Day 20 something. I've lost count now. Still going strong. I've had half a box of low fat cottage cheese for lunch along with my pack. I was hungry and I needed something different. I'm sure I'll be fine though. I have a very active job, I run around all day doing several flights of stairs multiple times so I am sure I would have burnt it off. Day off tomorrow and weds so gym time and housework. Somebody has to do it right?! My housemate is useless so I've given up counting on him help me long time ago lol. I love him to bits though so I don't mind.

How is everyone dong this evening?

Each to their own, it's the same with diets. We just have to try different methods until we get the ones best suited to our needs and lifestyle.
I was nearly on them, but I went to the gym instead! I wouldn't recommend that route for everyone!

We all need to silence that inner voice that's so full of bad ideas. We wouldn't talk to our friends like that so why put up with talking to ourselves like that?
The less perfection we demand from ourselves the better it is for our health in my opinion.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[slim_and_happy]

Each to their own, it's the same with diets. We just have to try different methods until we get the ones best suited to our needs and lifestyle.
I was nearly on them, but I went to the gym instead! I wouldn't recommend that route for everyone!

We all need to silence that inner voice that's so full of bad ideas. We wouldn't talk to our friends like that so why put up with talking to ourselves like that?
The less perfection we demand from ourselves the better it is for our health in my opinion.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Thank you
Taking them would be the very last resort and I think I'm definitely not as bad! I also find exercise a massive help. I actually can't wait to go tomorrow

 

[battybelle]

Thank you
Taking them would be the very last resort and I think I'm definitely not as bad! I also find exercise a massive help. I actually can't wait to go tomorrow

Wow you are doing brilliantly. Day 20 something amazing you do have a hectic job. Good to stay busy I hope you enjoy you're job..

Batty xx

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[Caz]

Doing great to still be going strong now. I always lose count of what day I'm on too, not something I really keep up with.

It's good to hear that you're starting to learn to love and cherish yourself and even better that you're realising that others do. I'm sure there's a long list of people that do but sometimes it's hard to see that. A very important lesson you're learning there, one I'm still working on really.

 

[slim_and_happy]

Thanks guys

I woke up this morning with a really bad tummy ache. It feels heavy and bloated. I wonder if its the cottage cheese I had for lunch yesterday or if its just constipation. I hope a nice cup of coffee will sort that out if you know what I mean

Off to the gym in a bit and then I REALLY have to clean this house. It's a mess!!

Hope everyone has a good day

 

[battybelle]

Thanks guys

I woke up this morning with a really bad tummy ache. It feels heavy and bloated. I wonder if its the cottage cheese I had for lunch yesterday or if its just constipation. I hope a nice cup of coffee will sort that out if you know what I mean

Off to the gym in a bit and then I REALLY have to clean this house. It's a mess!!

Hope everyone has a good day

Hope ur belly ache goes off hun. Wish I had energy to go to gym. Brilliant your doing so well chic hugs xx

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[xLunax]

Hope your tummy ache settles... Have a good time at the gym too! I need to clean my house too, well we need to have a good old sort out upstairs! I think we simply don't have enough room!