thanks Helen
I knew today would be bad
I got up and had a lovely leisurely bath then got all my clothes I might take on the bed
decided I could not cope and went to sainsburys where I bought more socks and knickers and a jumper came home packed bag
made leek and pot soup so we have a nice filling lunch tomorrow
then I made two versions of the campfire stew = a veggie option and a meat option I have packed on portion of each in containers ready for tomorrow (but without the beans) the others have been cooked for tonight
checked bag
I am so stressed its made me tired so Kaydan and I had a cuddle on the sofa
dh is now home so will go and finish dinner
I have now packed all my bathroom stuff and found my cat boots and some really warm slouchy boots that will do for footware for me - I will wear trainers or nice boots depends how I feel
ok I know I need to have the attitude that if I need it I can buy it or try to go without but why does it freak me so much I am in tears = I told Dh how I was feeling - his response why - he really cant understand he is normally so good at trying to support me but not enable such behaviours that tonight he just doesnt know what to do for the best = I have often said I really dont know how he has stayed with me.
so deep breathes
I am going to dorset not outer mongolia there will be shops and even going without for a few days is not the end of the world - I will survive - but I cant make myself believe it
so I am not allowed to check my bag again DH has just put it in the car for me
tomorrow I have my medication and makeup bag to shove in with the bathroom things and kaydans bag to pack - I might even do that after dinner
I have my gifts and craft stuff sorted = that was the easy bit
DH has told me to stay on the sofa while he finishes off dinner
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Kaydan as you can see doesnt like to be left out - goodness know what he is trying to tell you all