So, I'm coming to the conclusion that I have a low after running and then pick back up afterwards. Perhaps what I should do is include more exercise on the "off days" from running to get more balanced.
I was talking to OH last night about what to do moving forward. I find him a bit difficult to talk to because he just doesn't have any issues with food. He doesn't understand the need to be weighed weekly ("well, you've got scales here") or keeping accountable to something.
His opinion is that i've come so far with CWP, why am I thinking of "giving up." It took some explaining about the fact that I wasn't just giving up, and the way I managed to put it sums up really how i'm feeling.
Basically, I want to be in control of my own diet, not following a someone else's plan. I'm not going to go back and start eating chips every night, I just want to be in charge of my own food choices. At the moment, i'm still cooking two meals a night because it works that way, but OH said he would like to have a bit more of a reduced carb diet, and less cheese (made me feel like a bad wife to be, making macaroni cheese and lasagne!) and if I was doing my own thing, I could and would plan meals that would suit my diet, and his requirements too.
I'm going to power through next week and see where I end up, and then think about discussing this with CDC...potentially, step 4/5 for a bit, or no steps, but still a WI...if she's not keen on that idea, then I might go to slimming world but follow my own eating plan, just go for the weigh ins really. If I can get to target, then it's free, so perhaps starting a little away from target might work better.
Whatever I do, I'm not "giving up" - i've learned so much about my body and I am so much happier about it all. I am exercising and running, which is huge, and last night OH and I were discussing on my days off running, we will go out on our bikes for an hour or so in the evening, so i'll have a fitness buddy to do other stuff.
You know when you look at people's maintenance logs and think "yeah, well i'm never going to do exercise every night and eat this that and the other" - I used to think i'll never do that, but now i'm nearer the end of my journey, I think i'm becoming one of them. I can see my life infront of me, without CWP as my crutch, and I feel like I can cope with it, and make the right choices...
Well, that's what I feel like today - it'll probably be totally different tomorrow...the buzz of last night's run is still with me!
My little tracker told me I got a new fastest average, and longest distance too - running has really stepped up this week with less walking, and I was struggling at the start, but by the end, I was loving it - running more than the program again, and further too! I've already planned out what I will do on Thursday in the hope that I can make a 5k loop and that will be a great achievement since it'll be my furthest, but also a route that I can start practicing a 5k run on more.
Last night's dinner was chilli greens - kale and brocolli with garlic and chilli, and scrambled egg. Sounds a bit odd, but I really felt like it was superfuel, deserved after my run! It was chucking it down during last night, so I got home soaking wet and freezing - my bath was definitely earned! Haha.
Hope you're all having a good Wednesday. I'm off to get breakfast now.
xx
Finally a bit of movement. I was 80-90% good over the weekend...I know I could have been better...the scales are seriously punishing me this morning... Another week of step 3 with no evening carbs...except last night's brown rice - possibly why the scales are having a fit this morning. Did my first week 4 run yesterday - blooming knackering! Very good though and starting to feel a real benefit. I asked OH and he says he can notice my figure starting to change - just firm up a bit I think, but all good. Done my meal plan for the week and I will remain well behaved - nothing this week until Saturday. I've got 2 weeks worth of products because on Sat, my uni friends are coming for our "second Christmas" - basically a belated Christmas celebration involving lots of food. I am hosting, but i'm just going to enjoy the meal and spending time with my friends, i've then got another week of best behaviour before seeing CDC again, so hopefully i'll be back on track and lower again...hope so. Hope you all had good weekends - i'm coming to "see" you now. xx
