Need to be careful forever Attn: AKB

[bakerfa]

Hiya,

Have a good time sorting your CD stuff tonight.

Still haven't got Mum & Dad yet - will try again when I get in!

Am swapping endlessly today between reading posts like Karion Dieting's " don't settle for 2nd best, be what you want to be" and feeling great and then hunting for food. So far only cheese but I keep thinking what can I have for dinner that won't set me back? (I know nothing but that isn't helping the sabotage, have been in the garage & the shop looking at chocolate twice today - didn't buy any but the urges are all still very violent today!) Temptation isn't the word. It's ridiculous to be simultaneously so proud of myself for keeping doing this diet & so desperate to stop & eat. I'm not ready to give up but I don't feel able to give my all. Will ring Mum & Dad then listen to PMcK CD tonight for the first time & see how that helps BEFORE I blow myself out of the water with some terrible caloriefest!

No allergies today at all still!

Love xxx

 

[bakerfa]

Well,
Just posted a plea for help from the Wemitts. Have no idea what's wrong with me... Have technically SS'd 6 days but only 1 has been 100%. Have got little food in the house so that should help; anything that went off in the next 2 weeks got taken or binned when Mum & Dad went except for the lush jacket potatoes that they forgot... I really don't seem to be able to handle SSing at all these days! Maybe I could try PMcK or weightloss resources?

Did my WI and was 11,4 tonight after a full 4 litres of water so 6lbs off & 3.75 inches off ALTHOUGH I'm still UP 0.5 on bust, 0.5 on hips, 0.25 on bum, 0.25 on calf & 0.25 on upper arm. Everything else has reverted back to the same as 2 weeks ago.

Will go ring Mum & Dad now in case they go out for dinner as I don't want to miss them.

Love xxx

 

[IreneH]

Anja
There you are by yourself and I just wish I was nearer so I could give you a ((hug)). Is there any way you could make one of your packs into something so you could convince yourself you are eating? A frozen tetra into ice cream or a muffin? I'm sure you'd love to move down into the next stone and even though you've lost loads so far would you be disappointed to see your weight go back up? But at the end of the day if you still want to eat try having something that will do little damage. And remember tomorrow is another day.
Irene xx

 

[bakerfa]

Sorry folks,

I have no consistency. Will do 1000 cals instead & still have some CD meals. Lunchtime is never a prob, just evenings really. (pretty good considering, no takeaway, no rubbish, jacket potato with tuna.)

Going to listen to PM.
Night night
Love Anch xxx

 

[AKB]

Come on honey - we can do this!

Anch,

Hope you are listening to PMcK and he's helping - he just made me fall asleep, but having said that - is it mere coincidence that I first listened to him when I started CD and for the first time in my life I've stuck to an eating plan/diet etc for longer than 4 days????? Who knows??

I would ring you but don't want to disturb you - why didn't you call me?? It's sh!t going thru this on your own - I should know I've done it too many times for comfort! Just focus on the good things here - you've lost almost half a stone in 6 days and most of your inches are down too. You are aware of your sabotaging and whilst not wholly in control, you manage to ask for help and bl00dy brilliant about twice being in the very frontline of temptation but not giving in - give yourself a pat on the back and reflect on how much self control that took and what an achievement it was.
If all else fails have some berry water and you'll feel too cr@p to eat anything!!!!!
What strategies can you employ to help out - well how about any of the following? -

• 6 days 100% SS and then 1 day off each week
• CD 790 or CD1000 plan for the time being until you decide what you want to do.
• WLR is an excellent site and could really help you manage eating more normally within calorie guidelines
• Stick to WW eating plans for the time being
• Keeping occupied at night - going swimming/having a bath/walk dog/visit cinema/library etc.

Don't despair honey, a lot of this could be hormonal - just because you're skipping your TOTM doesn't necessarily mean you avoid the hormone changes too. Like Irene says, tomorrow is a different day and you'll feel differently too. Go to bed now and get a good night's sleep and see how you feel in the morning, then literally take it hour by hour.

After my CDC left, my neighbour came over to request help with her pc again - this time I don't think it's the pc but rather the ADSL line, if she gets no joy tomorrow I'll have to dismantle my wireless setup and see if my modem works on her line so I hope BT can work some magic at their end. I'm going to bed now as quite tired and have a feeling that small excited birthday boy will be up very early to open his presents!
Have my mobile with me so call anytime if you need to ok?
Lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[Fireflies_UK]

Well done with your weight loss last night Ailsa. Not far to go now hun!

Pip

 

[bakerfa]

Hiya,

Still 11,0 this morning. (But it went up from 10,12 to 10,13 then just tipped up to 11,0 at the last second so there's hope for me yet!)

Feel better this morning. I CANNOT do SS anymore. I have got WLR. Have signed up for 2lbs per week which based on my weight/height/age/movement is 1100 cals p/day. Was just under yesterday & have today planned including a CD tetra so we'll see. I also listened to PMcK CD last night but fell asleep practically instantly so will try again tonight, no idea if it went in or not but I was VERY good in the supermarket this morning so maybe it did. Lots of healthy low fat low cal foods.

(On an interesting note put in the details from a WW 19 pts day i.e. exact and it came in at nearly 1400 cals so hopefully WLR will help me lose; the predictor says if I start at 11,4 I will be 10 stone by 13th Oct so I've given myself a bit of glycogen room. And on the days I went over I was sometimes 2000 + cals so no wonder I went up!) Much more positive today.

Spoke to Mum last night; so far the hol from hell! Aircon in car went partway up France, needs regassing & temp is 34C ish so soon! Then got to house & my aircon was only one working, lounge & theirs wouldn't so Dad switched electric main off & cleaned filters, aircon now working again but when he switched mains back on the switch wouldn't unstick, no power, & they spent all day yesterday going round electricians to find the right switch to replace it. Dad did that yesterday so power & aircon back on but was needless to say pissed off! Landline rings at my end but not theirs & all yesterday evening the mobile was coming up number unobtainable so I couldn't ring them on any number. (Although they could ring me on mobile very briefly). They're going to see Telefonica today to find out why no landline & I'm much more relieved as mobile is working again today (God knows why it wasn't yesterday so I know I can get through if needs be!)

Much more relieved & happy today.

Anyway essay as usual - sorry.
I didn't want to interrupt as I had a fair idea what you would say & I knew you were busy with your CDC. I got lots of great advice on here anyway. I was going to say the next time I try to SS tell me not to, but I don't think there will be a next time. The PMcK book is very common sense & since I'm an emotional eater I'm hoping it will help. (I actually did 3 times in front of chocolate in the end as I had to take the post down to the corner shop & I didn't buy ANY!)

Wish R a great birthday from me!

Got to go as have been given some work!
Talk later & thanks again.
Love xxx

 

[IreneH]

Ailsa
I hope your son has a great birthday and that you have a lovely time together.
Irene xx

 

[AKB]

Anja,
Work gone manic, nice boss breathing down neck, must crack on, hope to get on later, glad you are feeling more chipper - chin up!!!
Hi Pip, lovely to see you yesterday
Hi Irene - thanks for birthday wishes for the boy - we're off to cinema tonight! Hope I manage to NOT scoff popcorn!

More later hopefully,
lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hi hon,
Hope the cinema was great.

I have had & enjoyed ONLY my 1100 cals. I have felt better today. Have a very healthy menu planned tomorrow.

I rang Mum & Dad & both phones are now working again. (Telefonica monitors line for use & cuts foreigners off even if the line rental is paid because THEY FEEL LIKE IT. The engineer wouldn't answer, would only shrug but they were reconnected very quickly since they should never have been cut off!) Have got phones & mains on, air con sorted both in the house & in the car. (Car regassing was half price of UK so Dad was chuffed). Thus Mum & Dad were very chuffed for the whole day & are out at a street party tonight! (Dad has also bought an aircon/heater unit for the UK same as in the house, wall-mounted inside with outside box like in offices etc. here. Was only £200 in the supermarket so he bought one to check it out. If crap he was going to replace the even worse one in the flat but he says it looks great so he will be buying 2 more to put in lounge & 2 of the bedrooms in the UK! Woohoo! No more sticky nights in the summer.)

Better go feed furries & listen to CD again.
Night night.
Love xxx

 

[AKB]

Hiya,
Oooh, you do sound much brighter - good for you sticking to your plans!
I didn't but did enjoy the few sweeties and Walkers plain crisps. Am up here away from food now as don't want to give myself the idea that a foodfest has begun! Sad to say have noticed a definite decline in how I feel - a direct result of the sugar racing around my bloodstream methinks. I don't feel that good and whilst I can honestly say the choc brazils and liquorice allsorts were lovely they were not worth feeling like this. So, it's official, cr@p food makes me feel like cr@p!

The film, Cars was GREAT - well worth seeing, a true Pixar classic and really funny espcecially the end bit where they were watching Toy Story/Monsters Inc/A Bugs Life - a real hoot - the whole cinema was roaring. Can highly recommend it.

The boy seems to have enjoyed his birthday - which is still ongoing - he's determined to milk today for all it's worth - have yet to read more bleedin' HP!! We had parcels from as far afield as Budapest and Sydney and cards and phone calls from all over - even my debtor bro (whose birthday yesterday I ignored as protest over his recent behaviour) rang to say Happy Birthday.

The play was as truly awful as only a play peformed by 7 year olds can be, but they enjoyed performing and mercifully it was very short! Then all the kids sang Happy Birthday to him and he seemed highly chuffed!

Glad you got thru to your parents and they are enjoying themselves. Cool about the aircon - my brothers have similar things and swear by them. Last year I would have killed for one but this year I just wanted a cardigan on all summer!!

Good luck with PMcK, I might have to get a new battery and listen to mine again - all kinds of foodie thoughts seem to be creeping unbidden to the forefront of my consciousness - hopefully he'll help mend the barricades somewhat.
Have a fab weekend, I have family descending tomorrow and maybe Sunday and I've been told I'm having to go back to the cinema to see Nacho Libre (now won't that be a great film - NOT).
Will get online or text you over the w/e.
Stay on track,
lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hi
Yep - feel much brighter. I ate 3 meals yesterday albeit small ones & my weight this morning was......... Yes you guessed it 11,0. Although it's the lowest so far as this time it was constantly alternating non-stop between 10,13 & 11,0 before FINALLY settling on 11,0. I guess I must be 10,13.55 or something stupid!

I think PMcK may also be working as I have only had half my breakfast as it turns out I'm not that hungry. I'll have the other half when I get back; going food shopping as I couldn't get a few bits yesterday then to see about my immobilizer?, then possibly to Matalan as I'm in the vicinity. I will prob also check out where my exam will be in Oct as the Clifford shop is in West Malling and the exam is in East Malling next door.

Have a great day & well done for being good in the cinema. I always have salty popcorn!

Take care
Love Anja xxx

 

[AKB]

Hello there,
Hope you managed to get all your running around done! Did you have to travel far? - my geography of Kent is minimal if nonexistant!
Well done on the food front - sounds like you've cracked it so far! I fell asleep before I put PMcK on last night - hence some of the boy's birthday cake fell into my open mouth at this afternoon's tea! Oh well, at least I seem to have finally got the point that it's not all or nothing where food is concerned. I always used to be on a diet/SSing etc and so ate v. little or I ate everything in sight. Even a few weeks ago it was either 100% SS or complete pig out - me cramming food into my mouth that I didn't need, want or even particularly crave - it was a case of a switch had been flicked and once I let my guard down and ate one thing I had a compulsion to eat everything. The last couple of days it's been, "oh I fancy this or that" and I ate it, enjoyed it, refused to feel guilty and that was it, I ate nothing else! Don't get me wrong I could still have eaten more and did think about eating other stuff BUT I DIDN'T - now that whilst it sounds like a big fat SSing failure (and is strictly speaking) is quite an achievement for me. I guess this "Eating Less" book has worked in that I plan to have some food, eat what I planned, enjoy it and know that I won't eat again until I next plan it. Well I only hope maintenance will be as easy, I was rather scared that I'd suddenly feel free to eat and then stuff continually back up to 22stones and beyond!!

Not going to cinema now as family just left and so we'll go tomorrow as it's cheaper in the daytime. Also I plan to take drinks/food etc with us - I was completely ripped off yesterday - £3.80 for a 750cl bottle of Vittel and a 500cl bottle of Fanta Z. £3.80 - for 2 drinks - w!nkers! So the boy has some sweets left over from yesterday and I'll take those, drinks for us both and a CD bar for me as the film is at 12noon.
Have promised to go and play Cars on the PS2 now (he bought it with his birthday moneytoday), where I will lose ignominiously as I'm utter rubbish at all computer games.
Have a lovely evening, hope to catch up later,
lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hiya,
Sounds like you had a good day. (By the way birthday cake is magnetically attracted to your mouth, you couldn't help it - Well I can't anyway. It's one of my downfalls!) Hope you haven't lost too badly at the game & it does sound like you've found the middle ground that you need. PMcK - eat what you want only when you're hungry, eat consciously & enjoy each mouthful slowly, stop as soon as you feel the tiniest bit full even if you leave stuff on your plate. (I also fell asleep before I could put CD on last night!)

Well, I didn't have the other half of my brek as it was 1 when I got back in! Have modified my diet elsewhere to take account of the cals. Went to Asda, Matalan, Primark, checked where my exam is, met Guy & Anita accidentally in Asda, couldn't find the Clifford place & I forgot the paper with the address/phone no. on. Drove round & round looking for it! Filled up with petrol, got some washing in & finally got round to listening to my Spanish coursework CD. All preparation now done, just have to work out my ideas & plan the structure, brainstorm etc. based on all the information I have & if nec. find some more info, then write...

Have got salad with quorn, low cal coleslaw, pot salad, french stick for dinner followed by ww yog & fresh raspberries.

I was very good this morning & the Gods smiled on me. When I went out it poured, got to Maidstone & parked outside Matalan as it's free parking outside the town itself. It had stopped raining at that point so I figured if I walked across the river & into town to Primark, USC etc. I could earn some calories & save on parking charges, did so & it didn't start raining again until after I got back & went into Matalan so if I'd done it the other way round I would have got soaked!

Also I am a true 12. I tried on some trousers in Primark (whose sizes are very small) in a 14 in coral and in a 12 in aqua and the 12s looked much better while the 14s were quite baggy. So bought 3 pairs linen trousers in a 12, a stretch jumper, some espadrilles with wedge heels (only £5!) and a top to go with the coral trousers. Mum's going to be shocked - I never wear bright colours like that.

I mentioned that I liked the green cords in LR - well I saw an identical pair in Matalan for £12 instead of the £29 in LR so I bought those - IN A 10. Don't fit quite yet but half a stone/10lbs should do it. They both had half price sales on so cheap, cheap, cheap. Bought a smart pair of wedge heels for work at £8 and a jumper. Also some coral stretch knickers to go under the trousers, (the ones that give you no lines).

Better go, haven't had dinner yet & washing should be done any second. Back on later.

Love xxx

 

[AKB]

Good day so far

Wow - sounds like you got really lucky today!!! I saw that Matalan have a massive sale on at the moment but I'm not looking for anything at the moment - no spare dosh!
I went to Primark a couple of weeks ago and found their sizes quite random - I'm just fitting a 16-18 t-shirt but can get into a crinkle shirt in size 12 and a different shirt fits only in a 16. Managed to fit a size 12 skirt though - v. wierd, but if you say they are big then I'm quite happy to believe you - ha! maybe I'm half way to a size 10 - oh how unlikely is that
Am wearing my Next black jeans (12s) and Primark 16-18 white T-shirt and LR printed pink/grey cardigan 14-16 so have given up on trying to work out sizes!

Lost all Cars races - no surprise there then, am now trying to get boy into bed whereupon I get the dubious pleasure of reading Roald Dahl tonight - oh well at least I get a break from the dreary Harry Potter.

Whoops - been summoned to read George's Marvellous Medicine!
L8s,
Much love,
A
xxxx

 

[IreneH]

Have you finished Harry Potter? Or are you just having a change?
It's funny how the shops' sizes vary so much.
Irene xx

 

[bakerfa]

Hiya,

I know Matalan sizes are quite big but Primark seem small. In March Mum & Dad brought me 4 pairs of trousers back from Dublin in 12s and I can STILL only wear 3 of them. I also bought some shorts last time I was in Maidstone and the 14s fit, the 12s were slightly embarrassingly tight as are these trousers now. They fit the waist and leg but are just a little tight across hips & crotch! Have got 2 size 10 tops from Primark that fit though and the stretch jumper's a 12-14 and fits like a glove, really emphasises my waist.

Have a good evening. I'm also going to bed with a book but it won't be George's Marvellous Medicine!

Night night
Love xxx

 

[bakerfa]

10,13!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back in the 10s again, no glycogen gain whatsoever.

Woohoo! One chuffed little bunny here.

Love xxx

 

[IreneH]

Well done Anja

Irene xx

 

[bakerfa]

Hi hon,

Still 10,13 this morning but saw a glimpse of 10,12 so starting to get excited. This WLR thing is really easy to do if you're a scales fiend like me!

Are you ok? Very quiet. I assume you were really busy over the weekend. Hope it was a good one. I was very lazy yesterday, never even bothered getting dressed, pottered around in my pjs all day! I struggled to get my cals down yesterday - this conscious eating lark is hard! I'm so used to eating while reading/watching tv. Sitting looking at my food taking measured mouthfuls is still unusual and I find I fill up quicker & more importantly I realise that I feel full.

Love xxx