New Year... New Start - onwards and downwards.
- Thread starter Caz
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Caz
Repeat Offender
What are you guys doing to me?! All this talk and I've now spent the past hour or so doing a spreadsheet to work out roughly what the kind of wedding I'd want would cost. I'm not engaged and there's not even any sign of a ring, let's hope Aaron doesn't find it lol
I think if I could afford it then I'd definitely have a paid bar but I know that it just wouldn't be an option. I reckon we'd only have 60-70 people or so, neither of us have a massive friend base.
I think if I could afford it then I'd definitely have a paid bar but I know that it just wouldn't be an option. I reckon we'd only have 60-70 people or so, neither of us have a massive friend base.
We are very naughty indeed talking about the cost of weddings! But it's more interesting than discussing what we didn't eat today! How's the diet going then? Are you back on track? Do you know which meeting you are going to attend?P.S. 60-70 isn't exactly a small wedding, no only about it!
Caz
Repeat Offender
Well my family take up about 30 of that! Thankfully Aaron doesn't have as big a family or we'd be bankrupt. Is it weird that I now know loads of stuff that I want?! Lol Would be a very DIY wedding to keep costs down that's for sure.
Diet is going OK. Planning helps, all meals are planned and being stuck to. There's a meeting on Tuesdays that I think I'm going to go to.
Diet is going OK. Planning helps, all meals are planned and being stuck to. There's a meeting on Tuesdays that I think I'm going to go to.
Squeezyweezy
Gold Member
*ANNOUNCEMENT*
Crazy lady in the Manchester area arrested wearing 3 wedding dresses, carrying a selection of wedding cakes and mumbling something about no proposal.
I think i know where caz is ladies.
Crazy lady in the Manchester area arrested wearing 3 wedding dresses, carrying a selection of wedding cakes and mumbling something about no proposal.
I think i know where caz is ladies.
Nefertari
Silver Member
I hate all the expectation that goes with a wedding. Guests expect to be fed and watered - why should we pay to feed people who we don't see for months at a time? We are only having a ceremony - no reception. I'm going to make it clear in the invites then if people don't want to come, they don't have to.
Caz
Repeat Offender
I think that's just because that's what the 'usual' weddings are like, which is understandable really. If you're told in advance that there isn't stuff like that then it's fine because you don't expect it so can make other food arrangements! All this talk of weddings has even got me dreaming about them lol
Because they are your guests and you have invited them? That is just the age-old tradition: guests bring presents and you lay on a celebration. You wouldn't have people round for dinner, or a birthday party, and then start charging them for a drink? If you don't like someone enough to buy them a drink, then don't invite them. Especially if you can't afford it. It's that simple in my book! And if it is just your nearest and dearest, they will most likely know that you can't afford it and happily chip in.
Nothing wrong with dreaming....you've got all this ahead of you and better to go into it forewarned! Our first wedding anniversary is on Sunday! A year ago today I was a complete bag of nerves! My only regret about the day is that I was so uptight and worried about it that I didn't really start enjoying it until the photos were taken and the reception had started.
And if it is just your nearest and dearest, they will most likely know that you can't afford it and happily chip in.Nothing wrong with dreaming....you've got all this ahead of you and better to go into it forewarned! Our first wedding anniversary is on Sunday! A year ago today I was a complete bag of nerves! My only regret about the day is that I was so uptight and worried about it that I didn't really start enjoying it until the photos were taken and the reception had started.
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MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Best party I ever had was my wedding reception -- I wish I had relaxed and enjoyed it more, too. I was lucky, my dad liked to
party and I had set things up with a deposit on the bar and when that was gone, it would be pay as you... But he decided to keep it open all night. (I didn't want to encourage binge drinking -- and I had a champagne fountain and lots a cases of champagne.) we went with a buffet and other than a "head table" no seating plan - just pick up your place cards the way in and pick your seats.
When I'm invited to a wedding (or reception) if I attend I usually buy a gift that I think at least equals what it cost the couple to "host" me. If I don't attend then I usually send an "appropriate" cash gift that will help with expenses. Doug's niece is getting married soon. Her parents are well off and I am sure paying for the best of everything -- we won't be able to attend -- so, I'm looking for a unique gift. This will be a challenge. They're world travelers.
party and I had set things up with a deposit on the bar and when that was gone, it would be pay as you... But he decided to keep it open all night. (I didn't want to encourage binge drinking -- and I had a champagne fountain and lots a cases of champagne.) we went with a buffet and other than a "head table" no seating plan - just pick up your place cards the way in and pick your seats.
When I'm invited to a wedding (or reception) if I attend I usually buy a gift that I think at least equals what it cost the couple to "host" me. If I don't attend then I usually send an "appropriate" cash gift that will help with expenses. Doug's niece is getting married soon. Her parents are well off and I am sure paying for the best of everything -- we won't be able to attend -- so, I'm looking for a unique gift. This will be a challenge. They're world travelers.
Caz
Repeat Offender
Happy anniversary! Are you doing anything to celebrate? What kind of wedding did you have? I'm pretty relaxed about stuff so think I'd be alright with it all. Maybe. Possibly! I guess that's the thing, it's not just that they come along and eat and drink what you've paid for, they bring gifts which, I've found, are usually quite generous. Though that said, not quite sure that the value of all the gifts covers the cost of the wedding but that's not the point of it anyway. I think at my wedding there'd be an arrival drink, few bottles of wine/beer on tables with food and a glass of something bubbly for the toast so they'd get a bit out of me but other than that they'd have to buy it at the bar. I know someone who got married recently and they paid for the bar but as we're now at an age where lots of people are in serious relationships they said that there were no plus ones but that if you did want to bring your partner you could let them know in advance and pay the extra for them. Seemed strange at first but actually I can understand that, I wouldn't want to pay (£45 a head in their case) for partners of friends when you don't actually really know them.
I see it like you Mel, it's a great big party and a chance to celebrate with my friends and family. I completely respect the choice that you've made Nef to have a smaller ceremony and then dash off on honeymoon but I couldn't imagine having that! Even Aaron when it has been something we've talked about has said he'd want a great big party in the evening, doesn't mean expensive, just all friends and family there. You only get one chance at a celebration like that and for me I'd feel like I was missing out.
I like the idea of placing your own seats, I know when my sister got married she struggled with seating plans cos our mum and her dad were separated and had new partners so they didn't end up having a top table. That's a nice attitude to have to wedding gifts, I think now that I'm not a poor student that's an approach that I'd like to take. That said, now that I'm not a poor student I've had no wedding invites in ages!
I see it like you Mel, it's a great big party and a chance to celebrate with my friends and family. I completely respect the choice that you've made Nef to have a smaller ceremony and then dash off on honeymoon but I couldn't imagine having that! Even Aaron when it has been something we've talked about has said he'd want a great big party in the evening, doesn't mean expensive, just all friends and family there. You only get one chance at a celebration like that and for me I'd feel like I was missing out.
I like the idea of placing your own seats, I know when my sister got married she struggled with seating plans cos our mum and her dad were separated and had new partners so they didn't end up having a top table. That's a nice attitude to have to wedding gifts, I think now that I'm not a poor student that's an approach that I'd like to take. That said, now that I'm not a poor student I've had no wedding invites in ages!
Nefertari
Silver Member
We just aren't party people - we're making it clear on the invites that it is ceremony only and we're also saying that we don't even expect gifts. Nobody really bothers to keep in contact with us except our parents (and my dad doesn't even bother contacting me!) so why should we pay to entertain others? To be honest, it's each to their own - the eye-rollers don't have to come. We'd be happy to run off to Gretna Green and do it on our own with a couple of witnesses but our mums wouldn't forgive us!
Nefertari
Silver Member
Because they are your guests and you have invited them? That is just the age-old tradition: guests bring presents and you lay on a celebration. You wouldn't have people round for dinner, or a birthday party, and then start charging them for a drink? If you don't like someone enough to buy them a drink, then don't invite them. Especially if you can't afford it. It's that simple in my book!
I wouldn't have people round for dinner or a birthday party anyway - I'm very unsociable! And I'm glad it's that simple for you, but not everybody is the same.
Had a church wedding and 80 guests at the Golf View Hotel here in Nairn, overlooking the Moray Firth, with a ceilidh band and a piper. All very Scottish! (You'll be horrified to hear, I actually fed them twice -- a three course meal, and an evening buffet, LOL!). The sun shone and there was a gorgeous sunset over the sea. We're having dinner in the same hotel tomorrow night, in the conservatory overlooking the beach, for our anniversary, which will bring back a lot of memories I am sure, even though I go there three times a week anyway for the pool/gym/spa.
Nef, you seem so sociable online, but then so am I, I suppose, and 90% of my nerves were about having to face and talk to all these people so I sort of get what you are saying. Hope so much you get the day you want in the end. Is it too late to just take your mums to Gretna Green with you!
Nef, you seem so sociable online, but then so am I, I suppose, and 90% of my nerves were about having to face and talk to all these people so I sort of get what you are saying. Hope so much you get the day you want in the end. Is it too late to just take your mums to Gretna Green with you!
Caz
Repeat Offender
I know what you mean Frances, Nef is so sociable online that I would probably assume she was the same 'in real life' too. Lovely wedding photo, looks very traditional and special.
I think I'd rather spend more on the honeymoon too Illa. It would need to be something that would be a real experience, something we'd never done before.
That said, I'm still not getting married any time soon so I sound like a right weirdo!
I've got friends visiting, they arrived yesterday afternoon and are heading home this evening. Food has been good, we had SW burgers and chips for tea and I'm doing a roast for dinner today but we did share 2 and a half bottles of wine between the 3 of us! Been awake since 8 :thumbdown::thumbdown: even though I didn't sleep until 3 as Aaron decided he wanted to check his phone so leaned on me to get to it! Generally if it's light , once I'm awake that's it, almost impossible to get back to sleep. My day may have to involve a little nap somewhere!
I think I'd rather spend more on the honeymoon too Illa. It would need to be something that would be a real experience, something we'd never done before.
That said, I'm still not getting married any time soon so I sound like a right weirdo!
I've got friends visiting, they arrived yesterday afternoon and are heading home this evening. Food has been good, we had SW burgers and chips for tea and I'm doing a roast for dinner today but we did share 2 and a half bottles of wine between the 3 of us!
Been awake since 8 :thumbdown::thumbdown: even though I didn't sleep until 3 as Aaron decided he wanted to check his phone so leaned on me to get to it! Generally if it's light , once I'm awake that's it, almost impossible to get back to sleep. My day may have to involve a little nap somewhere!
Illa
Silver Member
I might finally get married one day, maybe when kids are 18 my perfect honeymoon would be a luxurious hotel in South Africa where you can see elephants from your bathroom...don't know if you've seen those. Very very expensive, but a bliss....
Night Owl you look gorgeous in this wedding dress !
my perfect honeymoon would be a luxurious hotel in South Africa where you can see elephants from your bathroom...don't know if you've seen those. Very very expensive, but a bliss....Night Owl you look gorgeous in this wedding dress !
Nefertari
Silver Member
Nah, I just don't like people!
The wedding is booked now - we could still scale it down though. The guest list is by no means final!
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