newbie facing many challenges

caz78 said:
Wow! That was quick! Test results back and thankfully I'm fine. Nothing has shown up and she's prescribing water tablets so hopefully i'll start to feel better pretty quickly. I'm so pleased I won't have to worry over the weekend. Good old NHS! It's bizarre, I've been eating quite a bit of rubbish the past few days and my body seems to be starting to work again. I'm going to the loo anyway! It's really got me thinking that my body has just been struggling to cope with the huge changes I've made. If you think about it people often feel physically dreadful when they make big changes like stopping smoking, giving up sugar or carbs etc etc. You often feel worse before you feel better. I expect that's all that's going on with me. So I really am going to relax about my diet a bit. Do it more gradually to give my body chance to adjust so I don't feel as rough all the time. I prob won't lose much while I'm making the changes slowly, but it's better to let my body adjust slowly than make myself ill. It's disappointing cos I really did want to turn my life around overnight but I can see that's just not sensible. It's enough that I have given up the cannabis, smoking and bingeing. Now I need to stop the junk and be sensible. I discovered that as soon as I started on that chocolate hubby bought me I started to pick up. So I'm going to get some green and black's 70% cocoa and have just a couple of squares a day. The odd biscuit if I want it and I'm going to allow myself normal cheese a couple of times a week. I'm staying on semi skimmed milk and normal cottage cheese instead of it all being fat free stuff. I don't expect to lose much (and if I do it will be water weight probably) but for now it's about feeling healthier and hopefully I will be able to start exercising again too. Then if I'm not losing anything, once I'm feeling better, I will gradually change one thing at a time to fat free, lower cal etc. Let's see if THAT works! lol Thanks for all your support everyone and sorry I've been such a moaning Minnie. Caz x
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Oh and I know what you mean about wanting to change over night? I'm the same lol xx
 
Lol! Thanks Waffle, great advice.

Where I struggle is with the selective eating thing. There are only so many foods I can eat and I'm finding the calories are stacking up really fast.

This is what I have been eating:

breakfast - 2 Weetabix
snack - yoghurt
lunch - either, 2 toasts with poached egg and spag hoop OR soup and pasta OR fishcake and beans
snack - handful pretzels OR ryvita with philly
tea - sandwich, either cottage cheese, tuna, or chicken and smoothie and French fries crisps.
supper -1 Weetabix.

This comes in at about 1600 cals when I add my milk for tea during the day. It doesn't look like it would add up but it does. I can keep my calories around 1600 if the cottage cheese and philly were fat free and my milk is skimmed.

Just having them as normal low fat semi skimmed etc, my calories will increase and if I add a bit of chocolate it's going to increase more. I think I will be looking at about 1800 cals a day.

I don't think I will lose on that but who knows. Maybe I will when I add in exercise.

I wish I could eat salads and stuff, then I might have the spare cals for proper treats.

I'm not even sure how many cals I should be eating to lose. Every checker I try says different. I've had everything from 1200 to 1900 come up.

Caz x
 
caz78 said:
Lol! Thanks Waffle, great advice. Where I struggle is with the selective eating thing. There are only so many foods I can eat and I'm finding the calories are stacking up really fast. This is what I have been eating: breakfast - 2 Weetabix snack - yoghurt lunch - either, 2 toasts with poached egg and spag hoop OR soup and pasta OR fishcake and beans snack - handful pretzels OR ryvita with philly tea - sandwich, either cottage cheese, tuna, or chicken and smoothie and French fries crisps. supper -1 Weetabix. This comes in at about 1600 cals when I add my milk for tea during the day. It doesn't look like it would add up but it does. I can keep my calories around 1600 if the cottage cheese and philly were fat free and my milk is skimmed. Just having them as normal low fat semi skimmed etc, my calories will increase and if I add a bit of chocolate it's going to increase more. I think I will be looking at about 1800 cals a day. I don't think I will lose on that but who knows. Maybe I will when I add in exercise. Caz x
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I do 1660 calories a day but nearly always have a walk for about 200 calories so makes it about 1800 a day, I'm fussy too so I have a choice of 2 breakfasts either toast or them pots you can get that have the yoghurt and cereal seperate both are round 250 calories, then for dinner I have either crackers & Philly/cottage cheese or beans and toast depending on if I had bread for breakfast lol I'm so boring, but I usually have loads of calories to have whatever I want for tea & snacks within reason xx
 
That sounds really similar, so I must be on the right track. Thanks for that Waffle, it's really helpful.

I always forget how many calories I waste on milk for my gallons of tea everyday. That may be the best place for me to cut back then I can allow more actual food lol.

it's going to be trial and error but I will get there.

Caz x
 
caz78 said:
That sounds really similar, so I must be on the right track. Thanks for that Waffle, it's really helpful. I always forget how many calories I waste on milk for my gallons of tea everyday. That may be the best place for me to cut back then I can allow more actual food lol. it's going to be trial and error but I will get there. Caz x
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Used to be iced coffee for me nearly 200 calories for just 1 of them a day!! I don't really miss em I just drink tons of bottled water and lots of orange squash instead, and the occasional options got Choc 39 calories :) x
 
Well done you! I can't imagine giving up tea although I could definitely cut it back a lot lol

I've enjoyed my little break and eating all my favourite foods to cheer myself up but it's back on the horse tomorrow! Not stepping on my scales til Thursday though, I have probably gained quite a bit , 1 1/4 lbs up yesterday for week 5 and I think with what I ate yesterday and today that next weigh in won't be much better :break_diet:

fresh start tomorrow! :innocent0002:

Caz x
 
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You do jhave to have a treat my darling, I do agree :) I've had a naughty afternoon out today with my mum and I owe MFP 800 cals (even after lots of walking) but it's a rare occasion. You have to have a life :) x
 
Hope you enjoyed your naughty afternoon :)

I think I just need to find my balance. Things are definitely going to be more relaxed from now on even if I don't lose as much.

Caz x
 
So glad to read that your tests came back fine. :hug99:

I think there can be a link between metformin and water retention actually - I've heard of that happening before. Think it's something that should settle down by itself in a week or so. But it must've been scary - I know I would've freaked out.

And you'll soon get back on track xx
 
Thanks for that hun, i'll have a look into it! I did wonder but GP said no. They don't know everything tho!

Caz x
 
Thank you!

Caz x
 
Very strange, but hopefully only a one off. You've done fabulously! :)

Was a naughty weekend in the end but I loved every second of it (and only appear to have a extra small gain so nothing to worry about!!) Hope you're okay xx
 
Thanks hun,

So glad you enjoyed your naughty weekend.

I'm a bit wary to say how I'm doing cos every time I do it goes tits up again lol.

I still have the pitting in my legs but not quite so bad. What is amazing me is the weight loss. Oh how I wish it was fat and not water! I didn't think the pills were doing anything cos I'm not in the bathroom anymore than usual. Looks like they are though!

On Thursday morning (my weigh day) I was up to 15. 11 3/4 after all my naughty treats and stodgy meals, I had gained 1 1/4lbs from the previous weeks weigh in. I carried on munching through Thursday and Friday so only got back on track on Saturday. That would suggest that if I had dared get back on the scales before restarting the diet, I would have expected to see at 'least' 15.12 1/2.

When I stepped on the scales this morning to see if anything was changing it said 15.9!! That's like a pound a day though so it must be water.

I've just discovered a bone in my wrist I had forgotten existed and my collar bone is nearly, almost, visible. Oh, how I wish it stays off!

I'm eating more than I was before all this. I've gone back to semi skimmed milk, having the odd cheese butty, and have incorporated two biscuits and 4 squares of chocolate into my day. It's upped my calories by about 250 a day, so I'm around 1800 a day now.

It seems to be having the desired effect though. I'm going to the loo every other day now and feeling much better.

It will take a while to see if the extra cals will slow my weight loss but I can't tell right now cos of the water I'm clearly losing. I'm just going to wait and see, play it by ear and tweak only when I need to. My body obviously likes having a bit of naughty stuff back!

I'm really proud of myself for a few things though. 1) getting back on the diet after days of stuffing my face 2) learning to incorporate treats in a sensible way - no binging, even when I was eating rubbish in the day - I never sat down as I used to for a full on binge. 3) I didn't throw my hands up and give up entirely and give in to cravings for cannabis or cigarettes! 4) allowing myself treats, as 'part' of my diet and not a cheat! I've always been an all or nothing dieter so this has been really disconcerting for me.

It's also really nice to feel in control of what treats I am allowing myself. I've learned that if I use them as a pudding then a small amount is enough for me! I never understood people who could have tiny amounts of chocolate, I thought once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. Well, I still have the open box of Black Magic in the fridge and haven't touched it since Friday. I have two big bars of bournville in the fridge too. But am I diving in? Nope :D I'm quite happy with my 4 squares a day. It's funny though, I could have two black magic for 100 cals or 4 squares bournville for 120 cals but I always choose the bournville cos it feels twice as much lmao. I've learned treats are best AFTER a meal, to round it off when you're not so hungry.

It's all progress really.

Caz x
 
caz78 said:
Thanks hun, So glad you enjoyed your naughty weekend. I'm a bit wary to say how I'm doing cos every time I do it goes tits up again lol. I still have the pitting in my legs but not quite so bad. What is amazing me is the weight loss. Oh how I wish it was fat and not water! I didn't think the pills were doing anything cos I'm not in the bathroom anymore than usual. Looks like they are though! On Thursday morning (my weigh day) I was up to 15. 11 3/4 after all my naughty treats and stodgy meals, I had gained 1 1/4lbs from the previous weeks weigh in. I carried on munching through Thursday and Friday so only got back on track on Saturday. That would suggest that if I had dared get back on the scales before restarting the diet, I would have expected to see at 'least' 15.12 1/2. When I stepped on the scales this morning to see if anything was changing it said 15.9!! That's like a pound a day though so it must be water. I've just discovered a bone in my wrist I had forgotten existed and my collar bone is nearly, almost, visible. Oh, how I wish it stays off! I'm eating more than I was before all this. I've gone back to semi skimmed milk, having the odd cheese butty, and have incorporated two biscuits and 4 squares of chocolate into my day. It's upped my calories by about 250 a day, so I'm around 1800 a day now. It seems to be having the desired effect though. I'm going to the loo every other day now and feeling much better. It will take a while to see if the extra cals will slow my weight loss but I can't tell right now cos of the water I'm clearly losing. I'm just going to wait and see, play it by ear and tweak only when I need to. My body obviously likes having a bit of naughty stuff back! I'm really proud of myself for a few things though. 1) getting back on the diet after days of stuffing my face 2) learning to incorporate treats in a sensible way - no binging, even when I was eating rubbish in the day - I never sat down as I used to for a full on binge. 3) I didn't throw my hands up and give up entirely and give in to cravings for cannabis or cigarettes! 4) allowing myself treats, as 'part' of my diet and not a cheat! I've always been an all or nothing dieter so this has been really disconcerting for me. It's also really nice to feel in control of what treats I am allowing myself. I've learned that if I use them as a pudding then a small amount is enough for me! I never understood people who could have tiny amounts of chocolate, I thought once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. Well, I still have the open box of Black Magic in the fridge and haven't touched it since Friday. I have two big bars of bournville in the fridge too. But am I diving in? Nope :D I'm quite happy with my 4 squares a day. It's funny though, I could have two black magic for 100 cals or 4 squares bournville for 120 cals but I always choose the bournville cos it feels twice as much lmao. I've learned treats are best AFTER a meal, to round it off when you're not so hungry. It's all progress really. Caz x
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Well done sounds great hun I really do think your on the right path now xxx
 
Thanks hun, I really really hope so!

Caz x
 
Thank you Chezz!

How are you?

Caz x
 
How you getting on caz, you enjoying having a little bit of what you like? Has your swelling gone down? How's the anxiety levels? Have you been out for a walk with your hubby? xxx
 
Hey Waffle :) how are you?

I'm doing good thanks, in line for a good loss this week. Even if most of it will be water lol.

I'm really enjoying my little treats. It's stopped my cravings dead. A bit of what you fancy and all that lol.

Anxiety isn't too bad thank you. Yep, went for a short walk around the park on Sunday morning. Hubby was laughing cos normally I'm dragging my feet and really nervous, this time I was head down and full speed ahead. May as well take every opportunity to burn some calories lol. I'm doing much better outside even though I still can't go out alone or if there are many people around. I really need to start working on that but with xmas and a stream of birthdays coming up I've been pretty busy. Can you believe I have 7 birthdays in December! Including my son, hubby, niece and nephew! Eek!

The swelling is going down great thanks! I'm feeling much better. Just waiting for hubby to move some heavy toys and stuff around upstairs so I can get to the cross trainer and I will be good to go. He's doing it tonight hopefully. I've put a load of my favourite music videos together so I can watch and listen to them when I'm working out. It'll be just like watching the music channel at the gym. It's all upbeat stuff like pink, no doubt and AC/DC so that should get me rocking along lol. I have a feeling it will help me workout for a lot longer! Great music and lots of toned trim bodies (not AC/DC lmao) to inspire me.

Had a really rough night last night though so I'm a bit zombiefied this morning. Two long nightmares seemed to take up my whole night. The first felt like it was all night long. Then hubby woke me for my 6am meds and when I went back to sleep I had another - typical! It happens a lot since the affair. They're always me reliving it or him turning evil on me. Extremely upsetting. It's all processing the hurt and grief but at over 18months out I wish they would go away. That's not how the process works though unfortunately. You have to face it head on and give it time, it's exhausting.

So there I am, with a caring hubby getting up early to give me my pills, loving me, helping me and what am I doing? getting stuck in the past. He gets so upset when I have them.

Btw just to explain why the poor guy is giving me meds and I'm not doing it myself, once I'm asleep I'm out cold cos of my bedtime meds. It may take a while to nod off but once I do nothing can wake me. They don't wear off enough for me to get up until 8 and I'm groggy til lunchtime. So, to wake up for my early meds would be impossible for me, I'm literally out cold, don't even hear alarms. Hubby has to shake me awake. Also the reason I need them so early is they have to be taken 12 hours apart but if I take them any later then 6pm I'm up all night so the second dose has to be early morning. Nightmare.

The things we have to do eh! They might be a nightmare but have kept me relatively sane for a while now so they're doing their job. It's worth the hassle and inconvenience to be fairly stable mood wise.

So a bad night but other than that all is well :)
Caz x
 
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