Nicci's journal

[wanna_be_thin]

Hi girls,

Caught up on your message from last night. Sorry wasnt online had a pamper session/watched movies with the boyf. Even got him to massage my feet/hands and paint my toenails etc even thought he hates my feet cos in his words 'youve got fingers as toes' :8855: I did nip on to spy on you girls last night a couple of times but he's been feeling a bit neglected lately so i didnt have time to post- bless him.

Jo- dont worry about not getting back on cd wagon yet, its hard when you get the food bug. I havent exactly been an angel myself :sigh: but im back on cd today 100%. Was like reading a post i could have wrote when i read yours but i cant wait til monday as i will be breaking cd for marks bday meal on wed night and it wouldnt give me enough time to get in ketosis before then so thought ide give myself a head start. Dont think i will weigh in this monday as its not going to be worth it but will just weigh in on the 21st (dont think heathers gonna be impressed with my total loss :cry ah well. Its a bit of a relief to get back on cd to be honest, wont have to worry about food nomore.

Pebbles i wrote a few posts back to jo that its not about whether you have a slip up or not (we are all human after all) but its how you deal with it afterwards that matters. Youve came straight on here and told us what you had done and are getting back on th cd wagon so you should ve majorly proud of yourself for that! Its alot of hard work this diet especially when you think how easy it is just to slip back into old ways but it will all be worth it in the end when whe get our goals, whether its Paris getting ivf and her dream of another baby or me feeling good about myself and my body for the first time in my life. Just to wake up and the first thought of the day to not be about food or having to face putting the same clothes on and the bad feeling that goes along with it (i dont have a lot of choice as i think whats the point, i look rubbish in everything), really keeps me going.

Ive had a hard decision to make for me (not to be too dramatic but it has upset me alot), i know ive said about the problems with my hair and ive took the decision to cut it all off. Its the only way thats gonna give me a chance of getting it back into healthy condition as i cant continue this way. At the moment i cant dye or straighten my hair as im terrified of even more coming out and i just tie it back (the bald bits are really obvious now), its so hard as ive always took pride in my hair no matter what size i was and made sure it was clean and looked as good as it could etc. Especially when i was working used to buy all the new hair products to find the best for it. Its really soul destroying seeing it all come out. Ive booked in at saks hair salon (the prices are extortion but you get what you pay for with them), i normally would go any old place but with me getting it so short i want them to do it as best they can. Im terrified of it looking awful, i hate short hair on girls and ive got a round face whether im fat or not so i know i gonna look like a fat boy :cry.

Hope you all have a good day
Nicci x

 

[~sophie~]

hello hello

Hi nicci, it sophie and its good to be here. I dont know if you got my email today but i have felt okay up untill today (day 9) but im feeling really really light headed this afternoon and just generally not right which isnt great. I have been so positive up untill know and i havnt even felt as though im on a diet but today i feel **** and i have the monthlys and want to binge on ice cream!! I hope you are having a good day

 

[flowey]

Hello all, oooo what a lot I've missed!! To you all ..... big hugs, you've all got a lot on your plates right now.

Nicci - I'm sure you are not going to look like a fat boy. I like short hair on girls, I think they'll make you feel amazing.

Pebbles - 5 chips????? I mean, just 5 five? If you are going to slip why not go for the whole shop? I think 5 shows what inner strength you have. I seriously would have had one and thought, well sod it blown it now anyway. Keep going, no one gets it perfect 1st time round, you are still moving in the right direction.

On the subject of ketosis aswell. Does it really make that much difference. You are still on a very low cal diet without it. And you have to get there at some point. So 3 days of v.low cal. /slip/ v. low cal till ketosis will probably still lead to a weight-loss! Water retention may fool you at first but you still haven't been on 2000cals a day.

Well I'm still here, just not getting as much time to chat which is a shame (miss you guys). I'm now doing ss+ and have a salade with plain tuna at dinner time as my dads out and we are all eating together etc... Losses seem to be ok though, have slowed (which is normal) but v.similar to ss though.

Hunger has now completly gone. Still quite rumbly in the tummy but feel ok. Miss food and crave it but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Can't believe it hasn't even been 2 wks yet! Hubby said he is starting to see me losing the pounds already in my waist (hurraayy). So of now to order a pair of size 12 jeans online to get a glimpse of how its going!

P.s the dizzy when standing etc... I get like that, when I'm not drinking enough or run down. Just take it a bit slower and slip the water all day!

 

[wanna_be_thin]

Hi Sophie hun. just got your email.

Dont worry about the chicken, for starters if you had been in ketosis it shouldnt have knocked you out and if you werent in ketosis anyway you made a really good choice, better than a pie . Im really struggling today to be honest. Since my break/cheat from cd my willpower isnt as strong as the first time around and really wish that the weekend is over. Even though im not working at the minute, just the fact that its the weekend makes me think i should be naughty, think its inbuilt in us from going to school and it being end of the week :sigh:. Watching x factor at the mo and trying to resist everything lol.

Apart from eating the food i really miss going to the supermarket and choosing what food i want......... sounds sad when i read that back but i dont just mean junk food just if i was going to cook something new (normally inspired by watching cooking show). Boyfriend is gorgeously tall and slim and never puts weight on yet he's always watching cookery shows(which im sure hes trebled his watching since ive been on this diet lol) and then trying out new recipes/eating loads of junk, whats going on there!? Then again i dont think he eats so much that hes so full hes in agony and wants to rip his stomach out cos he feels so disgusted with himself. Nevermond about that then lol.

Hows everyone tonight? By the way i met Sophie on another site and told her about you guys and how great you's are so here she is . Sophie chick you should get one of our 'soon to be skinny minnies' banners

Welcome to the forum,
Nicci x

 

[wanna_be_thin]

Hi Flowey hun,

dont worry about about it, we all know you have work going on- is it going well? I meant to ask you is your husband french or did you guys relocate? Once me and mark get 'proper' jobs ide love to live in canada. Think your dead brave moving over.

Good choice about ss+, is it just while your father in laws there? might start it myself on monday so i will get away with chicken salad on marks birthday meal. How much exactly are you allowed on it? My cdc is still away until the 21st so not sure how it works. I will try and be brave and put a pic up when i get my hair done but not sure if i could i bloody hate photos - they look like me haha.

Nicci x

 

[pebbles...]

Hiya al
aaawwww your all amazing people.....Nicci I know what you mean....every xfactor night for me is munchies and thats the thing I look forward to all week,I normally get pringles,chocolates and biscuits and boy Im wanting them so baaaaad.I enjoy food and Im not enjoying this at all.Monday will be fine as Im ok then its the end of the week and weekends....
Flowey your comments are making my head big....awww so sweet and thanks for that...your right I could have ate the whole portion.....
anyway im off to watch a recorded x factor and NOT think of my munchies.....Im being weighed Tues and not looking forward to it...its the first weigh in and I havnt even had a number two aaaalllllll week so wheres it all going....saying that I normally go up to 3 weeks without going....oh what a subject to talk about on a public forum lol,I thought drinking all this water would help the situation but the only thing that gets me going is a huge galaxy bar....but I cant....anyway next week my goals are to learn how to do the smileys and find them and put the banner up again.....love to all xxx Pebbles

 

[pebbles...]

yep go on Nicci be brave and put pics up,would love to see,saying that I probably wouldnt have a clue how to view them as you know what Im like lol,u take care ok nd when and if you feel able to share your pics and Im sure they are gorgeous we will all be pleased to see them...Pebbles xxx

 

[~sophie~]

Thanks nicci, i am feeling better know mainly because i have watched the x factor, which always makes me smile
Nice to meat the rest of you by the way, im Sophie and am on day 9, my start weight was 18 stone 10lb and im currently 18 1lb and looking forward to gettign back in 17's im wanting to loost 6stone which sounds alot but i definatly think its doable, im just loving not food shopping or worrying about pack lunches and seen as i absoloutly hate cooking i love not having to do that. Hope all you guys are getting okay x
Sophiexx

 

[parisbeach]

Hi Sophie and welcome,
I am like yourself i have loads to lose. I was 18st 4lb at CDC's last week so hoping to defo be in the 17's this week as been awhile since been there. I am going be here for awhile with you, my first goal is 2 stone for IVF , but i will continue on til treatment happens.:grouphugg:for us all.

Pebbles - i couldnt have resisted like you did so you should be proud you didnt have whole portion.

Day 6 for me weigh in tomorrow i feel good about it, as i have been 100% been a struggle at times but i know will be worth it in end.

 

[josiejo1968]

hi there everybody and welcome sophie,

well im all set and ready to start tomorrow!! i went out last night and found myself feeling really sad looking at all those slim people and wishing i was thin so you know what i did i drank far too much and got far too drunk!!! as i thought if i was drunk it would make me feel better about myself but it just made me feel much worse:cry: my bf was getting really upset with me as i was accussing him of looking at others etc , you know the things you do when you feel so **** about yourself
anyway ive woke up today and decided i have to start again and was going to today but am so hungover and poorly i need all those naughty carbs in me tummy!!!
my mam had the twins last night so ive had a lovely lie in ( im usually up at 5.30 ish everyday ) and im going there now for lunch and to pick them up!!
im looking forward to starting again tomorrow and especially to my iced vanilla shake and choccy mousse

i feel happier knowing that at the end of next week i can have a proper wi in cdc sort of puts a bit pressure on me if you know what i mean.

nic im sure your hair will look fab

good luck paris on your wi tomorrow and let us all know how it goes

good luck everyone for the rest of the day

love Jo xx

 

[parisbeach]

Jo- I know what you mean i know my goal but sometimes doing the past evenings i have felt like why am i doing this to myself, butthe thoughts that i could actually be back at hospital in October has kept me going. You will do great this week especially with knowing someone will be looking at the scales next week and you want to have done well.

I actually got into a pair of jeans that still have price tag on them as i have never worn them they still abit snug at moment so maybe next week they may fit, but i felt proud just to be able to get them passed my butt.

 

[~sophie~]

Hi guys,
Boy its been a toughen today, helped my sister move house the whole family were there and they all had a McDonalds breakfat first thing then fish and chips for lunch the smell was over powering but i just sat and had my soup, im very pleases with myself, just really concerned about this hunger as my counceller said she has never know anyone go any longer than 10 days to get into ketosis and i am know on day 10 and still really hungry all the time, earlier today i was so hungry i felt physically sick!! im just hoping it will pass soon, fingers crossed. Hope everyone is having a good day

 

[josiejo1968]

hi there,
sophie are you only having 3 packs cos i was and was hungry and cdc said to up them to 4 or even 5 if i really needed to as it was better than eating and to also drink lots and lots!! well done on not giving in to mcdonalds and then fish n chips how much will power that must have taken , i LOVE anything from mcdonalds!!! too much thats why im doing this lol!!

paris well done on getting into your jeans you should leave price tag on them cos theyll end up being too big for you soon

my day has been uneventful really i have eaten but not enjoyed anything really just eating for the sake of it before i stat tomorrow which in a strange way im looking forward to

ive got all my packs ready on the bench and im going to make a jelly from the water flavouring so i can pick at it tomorrow when i need too ( got no idea how to but going to try anyway)

im going chase those foody thoughts awy tomorrow im just going to concentrate on my goal of being fit n healthy for the kids and not so much on the dress etc it will motivate me more i hope!!
going to weigh myself again in the morning god knows how much i will have put on but i will put it on here its just a number isnt it ! and then im starting cd for the last time cos im going to be successful this time ( a bit of positive thinking always helps eh?)
roll on tomorrow the start of my weight loss journey and better life

Jo xx

 

[flowey]

Evening all. Well it seems all are doing well either on diet or in head preparation for.
Sofie - just a thought but do you drink your water really cold. I did this for a couple of days when it was really hot here and it really gave me the same sensations as hungry. Now I fill my bottle of water in the am and leave to be room temp. when drunk. Just a thought?

Well I've had a bit of a downer day. Can't believe its only 2 weeks tomorrow! I think because I've done this diet a few times already to loose the first 3 st. this last stretch is really dragging. I've felt a bit down in my mood today and sooooo tired (hard with 3 kids). Oh well hope tomorrow will be better.

On plus side, both hubby and neighbour said they could see i've lost weight (whoo whoo)

Well done on not having the macy d's or fish'n'chips. I'm coming to the uk At the end of November (goal date) and I'm soooo looking forward to fish'n'chips - I miss them sooo much. That and dairy milk but got hubby to bring me a large bar back from his last visit (very hard knowing that's in the cuboard!)

 

[parisbeach]

Flowey - yu done well not touching the dairy milk it my fave as well , but causes me serious migraines.

Jo- you will have to tell me how the jelly goes, as i miss stuff like that as tonight was usually trifle night. OH well another day done, and i have managed it to a point.

I got abit low earlier and:cry:but now that passed again i feel positive for weigh in tomorrow Roll on 6.30pm.

 

[josiejo1968]

paris it will all be worth it tomorrow ot wi you will do great and be so motivated

it is so hard im going to try and come on here every nite as i know its the only way im going stay motivated but struggle sometimes to find time as i work full time as school nurse and then have the boys to sort my oldest is 15 on wed i cant believe it!! so we had a birthday cake today so i could have some! my next son is 11 and just started comp sso im helping him with homework ete and then the twins are 2 and a handful to say the least lol but these 4 gorgeous boys are going to be my top motivation im doing it for them so im fit n healthy and happy and not a misery because of my weight!!
weve booked a holiday to florida for next year so i need to be thin as i cant be running round in the scorching sun after the twins at this size id collapse

good luck everyone and roll on all of us becoming the skinny minnies !!

 

[~sophie~]

Thanks for the water tip Flowey, i will definatly try it, i went to my councellers house tonight to get some ketosticks which say im in ketosis YAY but apparantly a rumbly tummy can mean your stomach is shrinking so im not complianing although i did just nip to tescos to get some chicken and cucumber which i had a little munch on, which means my calorie intake has been upped today so should really go for a swim or a run tommorw
I have been rather hormonal today with it being the monthlys and when my sister said everyone was having a McDonalds breakfast, i acctually cries, how pathetic is that, i feel fine know but have been abit of an emotional reck today. Hey whoo another day ive reached the end of, am not looking forward to my birthday next saturday, no cake, no booze, NO FOOD!! ahh willpower willpower willpower i can do this!

 

[parisbeach]

Sophie i been emotional today as well , so you not the only one. but you showed total willpower today not having a Mc'Ds. I hope your CDC right about the rumbly tum means shrinkage as mine still rumbly to this day.

I have already made the list for shakes and soups this week i gonna try the soups are they ok, or are some totally awful and best avoided. well i heading off to bed in a short while as i still feeling tired out.

 

[parisbeach]

Morning Ladies. How are we all feeling this monday morning, weather a bit dreary looking here, but that not dampening my mood today as i looking forward to WI tonight,

 

[wanna_be_thin]

Hi paris, hi everyone

Well this past week has been a complete waste of time cd wise! But as Jo said today is the start of a new week and we have a full week until heather our cdc comes back to officially weigh us. I know we can succeed this time, im not going to even think about past attempt just focus like this is the first time on cd

Marks bday meal has been cancelled as his dad is coming up on sunday anyway(he's doing the great north run), which i would love to do next year. If you wanna start training with me Jo the offer is there hun hehe. So means i dont have to come of cd on wed and can actually do this 100% no excuses.

Talking of cancelling, think im cancelling my hair appointment that was for this wed. I do need it done but i dont think im quite ready for it yet. I have some way to go with my weightloss before ide feel comfortable to cut my hair so short and really need the money now anyway. Think i'll just leave it as a treat when i reach a mini goal.

Jo we just have to think of this a little bit at a time, i am taking this one day at a time and just going to come on here as much as possible, if i feel like cheating will tell you guys so you can shout and me lol. My first little goal is to make it to our weigh in with Heather.

My official weigh in is 11 stone 1.5 pound so ive put on 3 pound this week, not bad considering. Gonna change my ticker to start afresh as im taking this as day one.

Hope everyone has a good 100% day and will be back on throughout the day/night today.

Nicci x