Off work today, had a pretty bad weekend, was pretty stressful at work and i've been feeling low, had a bit of an attack last night, think I was so tired from not sleeping and the stress of work and christmas and prentending to be ok when i'm really not that ok, just got to me, I did sleep last night but i feel pretty mentally drained and pretty panicky so called in sick. Decided as I'm off tomorrow as well that today would be a good time to start my meds again, I took them an hour again and I've already got side affects going on. This is going to be gross but you no when your being sick and your in the automatic gagging reaction that you have no control over, I've had that twice but not eaten breakfast so there is nothing there which makes it worse, but it was so violent that all my stomach and chest muscles feel weird, today is going to be a fun day.
I no people have got bigger things going on right now so I apologise my stuff is so trivial!
Firstly have a big bear :bighug: Nicki.
Please give yourself some slack sweetie you have had a horrible few months with one thing and another.
Not sure which meds you are on, do they say you must take with food, do they say not to take on an empty stomach?
Or
Have you taken them before, know the side efforts and got yourself in state? :bighug:
What do you feel triggered the attack? What was making you feel panicky? write this down
then
I want you to write down some positives. At times like this Nicki when we feel so low for whatever reason we lose sight of anything positive in our lives and the negatives take over. Then we hit an all time low and its very very hard to clamber out of that black hole.
I can start your list of positives for you Nicki
1) a supportive hubby
2) some lovely friends who really do care about you
3) norty Maisie :giggle:
4) you are a lovely caring person
I kind of feel you've lost your way abit, but remember Nicki we are all here to help you anytime. We can't be with you personally but we are with you in spirit all the time.
I know you want to lose the weight and know you have lots of good reasons why you want to :bighug: Break it into little chunks. Lets stop looking at the bigger picture as it then sets us up for failure. Every single time I look at my target I sigh, I feel fat, I feel a failure. I forget what I have lost and feel like an elephant, but this is because we stop putting things into perspective, stop setting ourselves up to succeed.
I am the same Nicki I really am. You are not alone there are thousands of people like it. We just don't talk about it. Anxiety is a nasty thing and the mind so so powerful.
Little steps sweetie, a step at a time with us holding your hand all the way. :bighug:
I'm waffling and possibly talking total carp but this is how I see it.
Next time you feel sick stop and take some very slow deep breaths in and out, just 2 or 3 will start to calm you. Got and get yourself some boiled sweets. I swear by them. I live on them :giggle: If I feel anxious I feel sick anyway so I suck a sweet. I guess I've sucked several tonnes since loosing my Dad
I always have a few in my pocket.
I'll shut up now, but Nicki message me anytime. I am going to pm you my mobile number you can text anytime too. You will get through this horrible stage Nicki you really will and we will help you
Lots of love
Jackie
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