.Nicki. - time flies.

well done going swimming :) i need to start going again but something (sleeping!) always gets in the way lol. can you get a pass for your swimming pool? mine is £18 a month for unlimited swimming so it means i only have to go once a week for it to pay for itself. i really need a more supportive cossie too, i have the same boob issue!! especially when doing aqua fit haha xx
 
bexyboo said:
LOVE LOVE LOVE the slippers!! :D And the cossie too! :D

xx
Click to expand...

Thanks hun, Cossie should be here tomorrow, so thinking another swim on sunday may be in order

PurpleRoses said:
those slippers look soooo cozy!!
Click to expand...

They really are, I usually hate slippers because they fall off or are uncomfy when I sit crossed leg (which is always) but these are lovely.

JackieN said:
Those slippers are fab :D

:wavey: just popped in Nicki to say :thankyou: for being so caring and supportive its really helped me through this rough patch :bighug: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

Hey Lovey, how you all doing?

kitty_xx said:
well done going swimming :) i need to start going again but something (sleeping!) always gets in the way lol. can you get a pass for your swimming pool? mine is £18 a month for unlimited swimming so it means i only have to go once a week for it to pay for itself. i really need a more supportive cossie too, i have the same boob issue!! especially when doing aqua fit haha xx
Click to expand...

The swim pass is £30 a month although you can use it at a few pools in the area, I'd only go there because its brand new and clean! so kinda thinking extra £2.50 a week (weekly pay means everything gets worked out weekly) means i get to use the jacuzzi and steam room :D
 
Sometimes you hear a song that sums up everything in a perfect way, this is mine at the moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j4hg9VrYX4

Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man
Turn bad

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time
 
PurpleRoses said:
hey hun, how has your weekend been? xx
Click to expand...

Not been great, not sleeping again and feeling pretty down but i'll live, always do. How are you lovely? Hows the jewellery coming along?
 
Off work today, had a pretty bad weekend, was pretty stressful at work and i've been feeling low, had a bit of an attack last night, think I was so tired from not sleeping and the stress of work and christmas and prentending to be ok when i'm really not that ok, just got to me, I did sleep last night but i feel pretty mentally drained and pretty panicky so called in sick. Decided as I'm off tomorrow as well that today would be a good time to start my meds again, I took them an hour again and I've already got side affects going on. This is going to be gross but you no when your being sick and your in the automatic gagging reaction that you have no control over, I've had that twice but not eaten breakfast so there is nothing there which makes it worse, but it was so violent that all my stomach and chest muscles feel weird, today is going to be a fun day.
I no people have got bigger things going on right now so I apologise my stuff is so trivial!
 
.Nicki. said:
Off work today, had a pretty bad weekend, was pretty stressful at work and i've been feeling low, had a bit of an attack last night, think I was so tired from not sleeping and the stress of work and christmas and prentending to be ok when i'm really not that ok, just got to me, I did sleep last night but i feel pretty mentally drained and pretty panicky so called in sick. Decided as I'm off tomorrow as well that today would be a good time to start my meds again, I took them an hour again and I've already got side affects going on. This is going to be gross but you no when your being sick and your in the automatic gagging reaction that you have no control over, I've had that twice but not eaten breakfast so there is nothing there which makes it worse, but it was so violent that all my stomach and chest muscles feel weird, today is going to be a fun day.
I no people have got bigger things going on right now so I apologise my stuff is so trivial!
Click to expand...


Firstly have a big bear :bighug: Nicki.

Please give yourself some slack sweetie you have had a horrible few months with one thing and another.

Not sure which meds you are on, do they say you must take with food, do they say not to take on an empty stomach?

Or

Have you taken them before, know the side efforts and got yourself in state? :bighug:


What do you feel triggered the attack? What was making you feel panicky? write this down

then

I want you to write down some positives. At times like this Nicki when we feel so low for whatever reason we lose sight of anything positive in our lives and the negatives take over. Then we hit an all time low and its very very hard to clamber out of that black hole.

I can start your list of positives for you Nicki

1) a supportive hubby

2) some lovely friends who really do care about you

3) norty Maisie :giggle:

4) you are a lovely caring person


I kind of feel you've lost your way abit, but remember Nicki we are all here to help you anytime. We can't be with you personally but we are with you in spirit all the time.

I know you want to lose the weight and know you have lots of good reasons why you want to :bighug: Break it into little chunks. Lets stop looking at the bigger picture as it then sets us up for failure. Every single time I look at my target I sigh, I feel fat, I feel a failure. I forget what I have lost and feel like an elephant, but this is because we stop putting things into perspective, stop setting ourselves up to succeed.

I am the same Nicki I really am. You are not alone there are thousands of people like it. We just don't talk about it. Anxiety is a nasty thing and the mind so so powerful.

Little steps sweetie, a step at a time with us holding your hand all the way. :bighug:

I'm waffling and possibly talking total carp but this is how I see it.

Next time you feel sick stop and take some very slow deep breaths in and out, just 2 or 3 will start to calm you. Got and get yourself some boiled sweets. I swear by them. I live on them :giggle: If I feel anxious I feel sick anyway so I suck a sweet. I guess I've sucked several tonnes since loosing my Dad :rolleyes: I always have a few in my pocket.

I'll shut up now, but Nicki message me anytime. I am going to pm you my mobile number you can text anytime too. You will get through this horrible stage Nicki you really will and we will help you

Lots of love
Jackie
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
well said Jackie. I can't add to that but you know we're all here for you if you need us.
And you're not waffling. Writing about these things can be a good help so you do it all you need!

hopefully you'll be feeling better after some more sleep xxx
 
Thanks Ladies, I'm feeling better now i've had some sleep and not had any more sick incidents. Jackie I got you're pm but left my phone at work so will pick it up tomorrow and text you x
 
Ok so I'm doing as I'm told and I'm trying to think of positives :)

5) I'm a stone lighter then 11 months ago.
I was sorting my room out, which is a bit of a bomb site since I moved back in with Hubbs and I found a (massive) pile of various slimming literature and discovered that the first week of Jan I weighed 23stone

6) I'm joining the Gym and I'm going to go regularly because sitting on my arse being miserable is helping no one. I offered to pay half, then all of hubbys membership but he's full of excuses so stuff him, I'll go on my own, I have Dot, I just have to drag a little confidence from somewhere and if I have a bad food day It won't matter so much because I will have worked my arse off. I'm probably just going to go swimming 4 times a week to build my muscles and stamina up and perhaps sneak into the spa for a soak in the bubbles, then just ease myself into the actual gym side of things.

7) Its weigh day and although I've not dieted (due to dead kitchen scales) and I've probably put on a few lbs from guestimating (badly) I don't care because I get cuddles with baby William and I know my cousin will get my out of this funk I'm in.

That is about it really,
Sound pretty determined reading that back and I don't feel as determined as I sound.



 
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bexyboo said:
You are sounding really positive Nicki. And there's nothing better than after swimming or a work that going and relaxing:D:D Enjoy :)

xxxx
Click to expand...

You're right, even after my pathetic excuse for a swim session I felt good, but I wanted to go again over the weekend and couldn't and It made me anxious,
 
:hide: erm I'm swapping diets again!

I have been to see my diet buddy and whilst having cuddles with her gorgeous son, she confessed to switching to sw as the weighing/measuring was a bit much with a newborn. I confessed I'd stopped ww because my scales broke, could have got some earlier but I wasn't that into it, You seen my food diary, it was full of crap just to use my points. So starting a fresh tomorrow, with a fresh set of scales.
 
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