great things
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stressed.... feel not as bad! wine is helping.
nikki's diary - closed...... moved over to maintenance to test the water!
- Thread starter great things
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great things
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10k run tomorrow. officially 'dry' no wine tonight. lots of water tomorrow.
great things
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10k ran today. a personal best. i ran 10k (6.22 miles) in 1hr and 3 mins. my sat nav gave me an average speed of 10min miles.
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down side to today.... i was in my gym gear in m&s paying for food and the woman on the till asked when i was due?!?!?!?!?! i do have a tummy but it's excess skin... however, it does look like a baby bump. i'm gutted. i now need to focus, after september 19th, on getting 1 more stone off. see if this helps the 'baby bump'! ffs!
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tough time:-
some of you on FB will know this already but i'm having a pretty tough time. my mum's been taken into hospital is in so much pain with her feet. she has a diabetic ulcer on one heel/leg and a gangrenous big toe on the right side. she was taken into hospital last thursday and my life had been turned upside down.
they operated on her today and took off the big toe and cleaned off the dead gunk on her heel/leg plus removing a tendon.
i can't believe that it has come to this. she has so scared and crying lots as the realisation has settled in. i'm trying to hold it together as my dad's not coping well... he's 71 and doing his best but his health isn't perfect either. all i want to do is cry but i'm holding it in. i can't be seen crying in front of my dad or the kids. i'm scared for my mum. i'm worried for her but i can't do anything more than i am for her as there's nothing i else i can do. i'm trying to stay positive, happy and jolly in front of my mum to keep her going. my dad said he feels like he's putting lots of pressure on me but i told him that we can cope with this. if i cried in front of him it would see that i'm not actually coping well and i can't have that.
i'm just at a loss as to how we are all going to cope. i'm lucky in that i don't work, i've not gone back after matthew as my parents were my babysitters with emily but it's been too much of an ask for both.
food is just a thing i'm managing to do but i'm not watching what i eat so much and i'm trying to catch time to run, time to be with the kids, time to do everything that i do around the house etc, time to get stuff together for mum, time to go and see her. i'm hardly seeing hubby and i feel very stretched.
some of you on FB will know this already but i'm having a pretty tough time. my mum's been taken into hospital is in so much pain with her feet. she has a diabetic ulcer on one heel/leg and a gangrenous big toe on the right side. she was taken into hospital last thursday and my life had been turned upside down.
they operated on her today and took off the big toe and cleaned off the dead gunk on her heel/leg plus removing a tendon.
i can't believe that it has come to this. she has so scared and crying lots as the realisation has settled in. i'm trying to hold it together as my dad's not coping well... he's 71 and doing his best but his health isn't perfect either. all i want to do is cry but i'm holding it in. i can't be seen crying in front of my dad or the kids. i'm scared for my mum. i'm worried for her but i can't do anything more than i am for her as there's nothing i else i can do. i'm trying to stay positive, happy and jolly in front of my mum to keep her going. my dad said he feels like he's putting lots of pressure on me but i told him that we can cope with this. if i cried in front of him it would see that i'm not actually coping well and i can't have that.
i'm just at a loss as to how we are all going to cope. i'm lucky in that i don't work, i've not gone back after matthew as my parents were my babysitters with emily but it's been too much of an ask for both.
food is just a thing i'm managing to do but i'm not watching what i eat so much and i'm trying to catch time to run, time to be with the kids, time to do everything that i do around the house etc, time to get stuff together for mum, time to go and see her. i'm hardly seeing hubby and i feel very stretched.
nickki!!! worried about you! dont bottle it up, you have to release it all. i know too well how us mums bottle everything up and never want anyone to be upset by the knowledge that we are struggling. i hate my kids or fam seeing me upset but you are a pressure cooker waiting to explode. you need to let it all out and give yourself a break. you seem to have so much on, be honest with your dad, tell him its hard. hes an adult and will understand and can maybe ease your burden with words and advice. i am so sorry for your mum, and its good to hear you are all trying to be positive. are you an only child?
you just seem so stressed and manic in the post above i want to reach out and hug you and send you to a spa for a weekend! i know theres nothing i can do to help, but i would say is dont bottle it up, sit down with hubby and let it all out and you will feel loads better. hope things improve. when does your mum get home?
you just seem so stressed and manic in the post above i want to reach out and hug you and send you to a spa for a weekend! i know theres nothing i can do to help, but i would say is dont bottle it up, sit down with hubby and let it all out and you will feel loads better. hope things improve. when does your mum get home?
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hi
yeah, i'm clinging on...
my mum's doing ok. she saw her toe the other day and was upset but i'm glad that it was in hospital rather than when she came home. it's going to take a long time to heal as the circulation is really bad.
been trying to drag myself out for runs that i don't want to do. hurt my leg on tuesday so didn't run after than and had quite a bit of sports physio and chiropractor working on it so that i could run on sunday.
did the Great North Run in 2 hours and 28 mins (and 3 seconds but they don't count lol). a 3rd and final personal best for me this year. have 2 massive blisters and i'm sure, from the pain, my 2 toe nails next to my big toes are going to fall off again. they did last time round. need to get my trainers checked as they're the things causing it all.
legs had a nice massage today to sooth them. life is so hectic that i'm afraid that my diet is rubbish. i really want to get back on track and think that i'll need a couple of weeks ss but i can't do cd as my iron levels were low and doc isn't going to re-check them until october at the earliest. so i'm stuck. going to try celebrity slim as you can just buy them from the chemist (superdrug etc), similar vits and mins in them, slightly higher cals etc. more expensive though and not as nice. it's all i've got. really need a stone off at least. might try for 2 now that running is just for fun and when i feel like it! no running this week possibly next due to feet problems. i've been told to go no further than 4 miles cause of my groin and hip pain.
yeah, i'm clinging on...
my mum's doing ok. she saw her toe the other day and was upset but i'm glad that it was in hospital rather than when she came home. it's going to take a long time to heal as the circulation is really bad.
been trying to drag myself out for runs that i don't want to do. hurt my leg on tuesday so didn't run after than and had quite a bit of sports physio and chiropractor working on it so that i could run on sunday.
did the Great North Run in 2 hours and 28 mins (and 3 seconds but they don't count lol). a 3rd and final personal best for me this year. have 2 massive blisters and i'm sure, from the pain, my 2 toe nails next to my big toes are going to fall off again. they did last time round. need to get my trainers checked as they're the things causing it all.
legs had a nice massage today to sooth them. life is so hectic that i'm afraid that my diet is rubbish. i really want to get back on track and think that i'll need a couple of weeks ss but i can't do cd as my iron levels were low and doc isn't going to re-check them until october at the earliest. so i'm stuck. going to try celebrity slim as you can just buy them from the chemist (superdrug etc), similar vits and mins in them, slightly higher cals etc. more expensive though and not as nice. it's all i've got. really need a stone off at least. might try for 2 now that running is just for fun and when i feel like it! no running this week possibly next due to feet problems. i've been told to go no further than 4 miles cause of my groin and hip pain.
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can't believe it's a week since i last wrote in the diary.
update on mum:- she's coming out tomorrow. she is so much better in herself. she said tonight that she'll be glad to get out but has a lot of crying to do. don't know how i'm going to cope with that. i've been clinging on to it all enough to keep it together.
not done any running for over a week now. still having groin pain. so giving it a rest for another week and hopefully i can get back to running. now that my mum's out, or will be tomorrow, i can start doing a couple of classes a week. i'll also start doing some light gym work this week.
diet is still bad. trying to focus but it's so hard. got to do it. weekends are my downfall.
update on mum:- she's coming out tomorrow. she is so much better in herself. she said tonight that she'll be glad to get out but has a lot of crying to do. don't know how i'm going to cope with that. i've been clinging on to it all enough to keep it together.
not done any running for over a week now. still having groin pain. so giving it a rest for another week and hopefully i can get back to running. now that my mum's out, or will be tomorrow, i can start doing a couple of classes a week. i'll also start doing some light gym work this week.
diet is still bad. trying to focus but it's so hard. got to do it. weekends are my downfall.
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Glad to hear you mums out of hospital at last. Things are bound to be hard at first for both of you but you will cope!!! Don't worry too much about food and diets especially if you're managing to get to the gym and doing classes.
I can't believe tonight is the last night of Biggest Loser
I'm looking forward to seeing how Shay and Tracey have done, I don't know what I'll do without my Monday night motivation? Xxx
I can't believe tonight is the last night of Biggest Loser
I'm looking forward to seeing how Shay and Tracey have done, I don't know what I'll do without my Monday night motivation? Xxx
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arcade games ?
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planning on starting back to exercise tomorrow pm, bit of bike and cross trainer etc. running next week.
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back to it as such, and not such.
bought some celeb slim and have been working a bit with that over the past couple of days.
totals cals yesterday was 1300 - not too bad. been peeing loads so fingers crossed.
today...
brekkie 200 cals
lunch 200 cals
snack 100 cals
snack 50 cals
snack 100 cals
tea 500 cals
snack 200 cals (to have later if needs be)
total cals.... 1350 cals
exercise - (yes back to it...) -750 cals
run 500 cals and gym work (cycling and xtrainer) 250
bought some celeb slim and have been working a bit with that over the past couple of days.
totals cals yesterday was 1300 - not too bad. been peeing loads so fingers crossed.
today...
brekkie 200 cals
lunch 200 cals
snack 100 cals
snack 50 cals
snack 100 cals
tea 500 cals
snack 200 cals (to have later if needs be)
total cals.... 1350 cals
exercise - (yes back to it...) -750 cals
run 500 cals and gym work (cycling and xtrainer) 250
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pants diet yesterday. was going well until
1) i decided to have an omlette for lunch then when i came home i noticed that
2) hubby had opened some chilli heatwave.... my favourite. he'd left half on the surface. i became a piggie. i'd been working in the garden in the pm and was going to the gym to do body pump. however, i didn't make body pump has hubby had to stay at work as he'd had a call as something had gone wrong somewhere....
this meant that the night ended up with me having a curry made from quorn and a jar of m&s jalfrazi (sp?) with rice and a naan plus the obligatory glass of white. back to it today. food is my problem. i need to stop eating. i'm addicted. think i could do with some work on that area of my life.
1) i decided to have an omlette for lunch then when i came home i noticed that
2) hubby had opened some chilli heatwave.... my favourite. he'd left half on the surface. i became a piggie. i'd been working in the garden in the pm and was going to the gym to do body pump. however, i didn't make body pump has hubby had to stay at work as he'd had a call as something had gone wrong somewhere....
this meant that the night ended up with me having a curry made from quorn and a jar of m&s jalfrazi (sp?) with rice and a naan plus the obligatory glass of white. back to it today. food is my problem. i need to stop eating. i'm addicted. think i could do with some work on that area of my life.
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
I'm exactly the same Nikki, I'm fine until I start eating, then I can't stop! I just don't seem to have an off switch, until it's way too late and I feel sick... I'm more into savory than sweet but it doesn't really matter what I eat, I like me food and it's very much part of my social life. My friends are great, but we celebrate with food, commiserate with food, pretty much everything we do involves food!
The thing is I think because we're both aware of it we can take measures to stop ourselves getting too out of control. If we weren't aware, we'd eat ourselves huge! As soon as I get back down into the 12's I'm lowering my cut off weight (the weight if I go beyond I have to be strict) to 13st, it's currently at 14st. I feel really uncomfortable at 14st, which is great because in the past I started to feel uncomfortable at 17.5st.
Good luck with today x
The thing is I think because we're both aware of it we can take measures to stop ourselves getting too out of control. If we weren't aware, we'd eat ourselves huge! As soon as I get back down into the 12's I'm lowering my cut off weight (the weight if I go beyond I have to be strict) to 13st, it's currently at 14st. I feel really uncomfortable at 14st, which is great because in the past I started to feel uncomfortable at 17.5st.
Good luck with today x
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i know what you mean. i'm back to exercise so i'm hoping that it will help me to keep control over my weight. i'm looking at 2 running things in the near future .... a maltby 7 miler and a xmas run on the 28th then long term i'd like to run a marathon. i'm thinking that if the peeps on the BL can do it then i'm sure i'll be able to even if i end up walking some. looking at edinburgh or london. prob 2012 though due to hubby's work probs at the moment he'll prob not be able to give me the time to go running and i need to get my hip and blister/toe nail probs sorted too.
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mrs jelly belly! mrs jelly belly.... that's me.... my belly feels like rubber today... boing boing boing!
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Hey Nikki how're you? I'm going well motivation wise, I feel like time is running out faster than the lbs are coming off though. I could really do with the boost of a good loss to get things a bit further along. I'll see what Wednesdays WI brings and if that's small then it's back to the gym for me next week.
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