not any more, sorry
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ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
We're all such shy retiring creatures, maybe I'll bring a list of talking points to help things along....:8855:
flutter-by-us
Silver Member
Evening Bren xx
Morning All
Butternut squash curry was ok, think my spices are a bit old and need replacing to be honest, but it was good enough to have 2 bowls (no rice) not really Atkins friendly enough for induction but would probably be ok on later owl or maint.
Not sure if it is hormonal or what but seem to have fallen into a big black hole overnight - bah!
Butternut squash curry was ok, think my spices are a bit old and need replacing to be honest, but it was good enough to have 2 bowls (no rice) not really Atkins friendly enough for induction but would probably be ok on later owl or maint.
Not sure if it is hormonal or what but seem to have fallen into a big black hole overnight - bah!
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Oh hun sorry you're feeling a bit down, here's some jokes to hopefully make you smile 
xxx
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. [/FONT]He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." [/FONT]
xxx[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. [/FONT]He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." [/FONT]
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
And here's a doggie one
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!" [/FONT]
flutter-by-us
Silver Member
Hugs Bren xx
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
LOL thank you fans
I did try to find some poo ones in Vicky's honour, the strawberry one was as close as I could find
I did try to find some poo ones in Vicky's honour, the strawberry one was as close as I could find
LVLLM
Gold Member
lmao ive got one for you
It was entertainment night at the Old Folks Home and the Amazing Claude
was topping the bill. People came from many Senior Homes to see the famed
hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, 'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up Here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique
pocket watch from his coat.
'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It's a very special watch. It's been in my family five or six Generations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and Forth while quietly chanting,
'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch .'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the
swaying watch, until, suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and
fell to the Floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
S--t said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Old Folks Home .
ive got one for youIt was entertainment night at the Old Folks Home and the Amazing Claude
was topping the bill. People came from many Senior Homes to see the famed
hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, 'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up Here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique
pocket watch from his coat.
'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It's a very special watch. It's been in my family five or six Generations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and Forth while quietly chanting,
'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch .'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the
swaying watch, until, suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and
fell to the Floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
S--t said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Old Folks Home .
Afternoon All
Sorry I am late, there are only 2 of us in office today out of 6 usually so I thought I would hang on till my colleague had finished her lunch so there would be someone to answer the phone without their mouth full............although am only having soup so would not have been a problem really.
Thank you for the jokes and hugs, I do appreciate them folks xxxx
Sorry I am late, there are only 2 of us in office today out of 6 usually so I thought I would hang on till my colleague had finished her lunch so there would be someone to answer the phone without their mouth full............although am only having soup so would not have been a problem really.
Thank you for the jokes and hugs, I do appreciate them folks xxxx
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