Peony's Little Corner (There will be talk of food - you have been warned!)

[peony]

My tuna dinner last night was fab - I finally felt satisfied for the first time since starting abstinence. To the extent that because I felt full I didn't eat any more last night even though I had 100 odd calories left in the day's allowance. It felt good to stop eating because I didn't want to eat any more instead of because I wasn't allowed any more.

Today I have squeezed in a Powerplate class and a Pilates class around work. I am considering upgrading my gym membership for a few months as this is my busiest time of the year and I am struggling to get there during the day as I had before. Hmm £56/ mth v the £42 I pay currently. Would I go enough of an evening to make it worthwhile? hard to know for sure but I can always convert back.

The reason I am considering it is because I am really worried about building my metabolism back up - I don't want to be one of those people that ends up living on 1200 cals a day just to maintain because their metabolism is up the creek. I feel like I need to steadily increase my exercise in line with the calories. I am quite sure the reason I have only lost 1lb in 6 weeks despite consuming an average of less than 800 cals a day is down to the effects of the VLCD on my metabolism. Ha ha my metabolism is my latest obsession!

Well have taken enough out of my working day with the gym so had better press on!

xxx

 

[melarnz]

You absolutley have to have everything under control dont you Peony!! lol This is the reason why you will definately beat the food obsession....i on the otherhand am not so sure.

 

[slendablenda]

You will Mel. You've got to get back that belief you had in yourself. xx

 

[peony]

Sometimes it would be nice not to feel I have to be in control of everything! Still hopefully it will help prevent me from getting fat again.
x

 

[melarnz]

Well (exhales)..... I often moan about how have to do everything at home...sort out the kids care when we are at work, housework, shopping ect ect. Yet when hubby offers to help, if he doesnt do what I want, when I want, I get the hump. Also, the thought of leaving the kids timetable up to hubby scares the beegeevers out of me.....so (exhales again)....sometimes we get fed up with all the pressure of control, but we dont like to give up that control either!

(Hope that makes sense)

Whilst doing your RTM, the control is certainly not a bad thing, and as the months go by, you will get to understand your new body, metabilism ect and learnt what you can and cant get away with, and then you can maybe relax the control a little bit. However, by then, it may become habit (and a safety net) and you may not want to.

Only time will tell, all i know is that you will not allow yourself to become overweight again. to be honest, with what I have learned about you over the past 9 months, i dont know how you became overweight in the 1st place.....you have slotted into this skinny persons life perfectly (",)

xxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[peony]

Yet when hubby offers to help, if he doesnt do what I want, when I want, I get the hump

ha ha ha this really rings true, glad it's not just me!

i dont know how you became overweight in the 1st place......

Hmmm, interesting this one - I think it is because I have always had to watch my weight to keep from getting fat, and then when I got ill with depression through work related stress I utterly wasn't myself, I took my eye off the ball and within 2 years had gone from 11 to 18 stone! I take most of the responsibility for that but also hold the anti depressants I was prescribed (Seroxat) a little bit responsible as they are now know to cause significant weight gain in some patients.

Anyway I won't be going back there again - I lead a very happy work life now, and am also very happy and settled in my home life. (If a bit too hectic but who wants boring?!)

How are you getting on my love? When do you start back on packs? You should resurrect your diary, I have found it really useful spouting on my own little thread when I feel like it.

 

[peony]

Have had a fab day today, is hubby's birthday, he was over the moon with his pressies - a bunch of dvd's and cd's, Jamie Oliver's new book, tickets to Flight of the Conchords (including a weekend away for us in Manchester yay!) and a day's cookery lesson with Gennaro Contaldo - Jamie Oliver was his protege on the italian food front.

We both took the day off and mooched round town trying on clothes - lunch time was a bit of a struggle but I managed - ended up getting the kid's lunchbox selection in John Lewis and had the ham out of the sandwich, 2 cream crackers and a packet of quavers - nutritious or what lol! Just wanted to keep the cals down as tonight we are going out for dinner. YAY can't wait - first meal out in almost 10 months!
Off to Loch Fyne Restaurant - perfect as it is his fave, and it means I don't have to be too worried about having something relatively low cal to eat - grilled fish a gogo!

Will also be indulging in some alcohol (so exciting!) As we are going to splurge on a bottle of champers to celebrate:
My losing 10 stone 4lb and becoming a foxy lady!!!
His 35th birthday
The phone call he just had offering him the job he really wanted. Unfortunately wecan't shout that from the rooftops for a while till all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed but I am so proud of him. It won't be much more money wise but from a work life balance it is much closer, it is for a company he knows well and used to work for, and there will be far less travelling, and stayinga away for him. And a happy hubby makes a happy peony!

Happy happy days!

xxx

 

[slendablenda]

What a lovely post Peony. I hope you sare in Loch Fyne now having a fabulous time.
You must both be so proud of yourselves.
I bet your OH loves being seen out with you - Foxy lady.
Mel,
I used to be like that before Ilost my weight. I used to go into "martyr mode" quite often. I got quite stroppy if I felt my hubby wasn't pulling his weight at home. I hated ironing his shirts and he wouldn't do it. He hardly helped with the housework even though I work full time.
Once I started feeling more in control of myself we had a real heart to heart and re-evaluation. I said what I wouldn't do, we get the shirts picked up and ironed, I have stopped running myself ragged and have more me time. The world hasn't come to a standstill apart from a terrible earthquake and the Icelandic volcano erruption! My OH does the dinner at least once a week. I try not to interfere.
The work-life balance etc is much more even and we are both much happier.
Like Peony there have been so many positive changes for me since I lost my weight.
As our LLC said, "how can we expect others to value us if we don't value ourselves?"

 

[peony]

Thanks SB
Had a fab evening on Friday - Have to admit I was drunk after my first drink! Still I stuck to my guns and had a tiny bit of the bread leaving OH to eat the rest, I just had the grilled fish and no carbs for dinner and avoided the temptation of the choc tart for dessert although I must admit to a tia maria coffee for my dessert instead. Went on to a couple of bars and has such a lovely time, so nice to be out together - and I cannot even put into words how light and happy I was feeling confident in my appearance out in town for about the first time in my life ever. I felt free, liberated, joyous. It was wonderful. When I walked across the bar and got stares it wasn't because I was abnormally fat and thus remarkable, it was because of my close fitting dress and curves - and probably because confidence and happiness was oozing out of me. I realise that sounds a bit ooh aren't I great, but you know what, I have worked hard and I am feeling damned pleased with myself about it!!!

I was a bit worried about any potential damage but OH made a very good point when he said - it isn't about what you do tonight, it is about what you do tomorrow, the day after and the day after. Meaning the occasional night out isn't what makes you fat, it's the bad habits day to day - picking when you shouldn't, too big portions, wine every day etc. He makes a good point I think.

Got home late, drunk, and then had a ball playing singstar till 2am! Such a great night. Bit hungover on Saturday and had my daughter's 5th birthday to cook the cakes for and organise but managed it all ok.

Yesterday was her birthday - she had her party at a soft play place locally thank heavens I didn't have a house full! SHe had a fab day, the cakes went down well, all my planning and organising paid off and i even got to go for a powerplate class atthe gym in the afternoon whe OH took her to see grandma and grandad - result!

Best go and get her from school now.
xxx

 

[Quak]

Brilliant so glad you had a good time and felt soooooooooooo good
Bren xx

 

[slendablenda]

Fabulous post Peony. You deserve to feel like that.
What an achievement.
Go girl ! xx

 

[melarnz]

Well done on your night out. That feeling of looking fab must have been great!! I'm glad you had a great night xx

 

[peony]

Thanks both, you 2 are rocks xxx

Am starting to get a little concerned about the amount of events there are between now and mid June, and whether they will impact on my weight too much. Last night was another meal out, for a friend's birthday. I missed out the starter, ordered fish for my main, and forewent a dessert but they were out of the fish so I went for chicken without a carb side, but it came smothered in a rich creamy (delicious!!!) sauce. Also drank wine. I suppose the habits have changed as before I would have also had a starter and main course, but still, I consumed far more calories than I probably should have.

Oh well, and then I am away at Featherdown Farm camping all weekend, and I have a meal out next Wed and a meal out on May 1st. It does my head in working out what I can and can't have, but at the end of the day I am a fat person in a thin person's body and if the price I have to pay is weighing up and thinking about what I can and can't eat then I suppose that is a small price to pay.

I have been fortunate that a big order I was due to work on this week has been put back leaving me with some unexpected free time so I am hitting the gym in a few minutes to make up a bit for last night. I have my first ever spin class (terrifying!) followed by a powerplate class, then a kettlebells class and finishing with pilates! All done by 12 when I will dash back and do some work.

Very happy the sun is shining today, hoping the sun is shining on everyone.xxx

 

[melarnz]

From what my leader told me, it takes about 10 months for your body to reset itself to your new body weight. I know it's hard, but it won't be this hard fi
forever. Think about that buzz u got when you went out and people were checking you out!! (",)

 

[slendablenda]

Yep, hard and temptation is all around.
Having done LL it certainly makes you aware of how much our social lives revolve around meals in/out, eating, drinking and fattening treats doesn't it?
Some people work on the 80/20 theory -
80% control - 20% free for all.
Others are really careful all week to allow extra at the week-end.
Others up the exercise to burn off calories (sounds like that's you)
Me. I don't have a plan really. I never re-introduced bread, potatoes, cakes and sweets and I hardly have any chocolate.
I have quite a lot of dairy protein, loads of fish, salads, fresh veg. I have the odd glass of wine (used to regularly drink a bottle myself in an evening!).
I eat masses of fresh fruit - love it.
If I'm at a work lunch which is usually sandwiches I just eat the fillings - just say I don't eat wheat if people notice.
I try and remember to drink plenty of water, but it's hard.
I weigh once a week only at LL. I try not to stress about calories etc.
You'll work out what works for you, but keep reminding yourself of all the things that have changed for the better.
Don't let it slip.

 

[peony]

Thanks for both of your replies, both v helpful - Mel, I think that body set point stuff is really interesting and it does give me hope that maybe in the future I won't have to fight quite so hard against my body clamouring to put weight on.

SB really interesting to read that you never reintroduced the big boy carbs. THis is where I am struggling with regard to RTM. I have lost another pound today so I must be doing something right, but I should be thinking about reintroducing carbs and the thought terrifies me - I felt so amazing at the beginning of LL when I cut the carbs out (after getting through the withdrawals lol) I may reintroduce them at very low levels, or perhaps like you, not at all.

Hmmm, food for thought (if not to eat hee hee)

xxx

 

[melarnz]

That scares me!! Living life without carbs. However, bread and pasta are def trigger foods for me. It's what I reach for when I'm feeling sorry for myself!!

My mum balances carbs. She won't eat any unless she has been active that day. She is an amazing woman who completely balances her diet on her own (a bit like u peony). She has been the same size for years!!

 

[Minerva]

I find carbs not necessary... once I got out of the habit of having them with a main meal it stayed that way. I used to be a pasta addict - now I actually hate the stuff. It's bland and boring. White bread - is a trigger food so I don't touch it and have black German rye instead. Potatoes - again, boring food. Rice is only on special occasions.

There is no 'real' need for these things. Have your carbs in vegetables and fruit. If you're not comfortable - don't have them. I never really bothered to and it works just fine. Means I can have more veggies and lean protein on my plate! It's more tasty!

 

[peony]

I know what you mean Minerva, I don't really miss them and enjoy a plate of salad or veg and protein. It is so odd that a year ago a plate just wouldn't have felt complete without a big pile of carbs, but now I don't honestly feel I am missing them. As you say, I am getting quite a few carbs from the veg, salad & am slowly bringing fruit on board - just berries at the moment to be honest. I may leave it at that as was never a huge fruit fan anyway but am loving the blueberries with my 100% total yog.

cheers ladies
x

 

[Jezebella]

Peony, your journey on here is such an inspiration to read. It has actually made me feel a lot more positive about my own achievements. Not sure why I have been feeling a bit down on myself of late. Your night at Loch Fyne sounds amazing and I am thrilled it was such a happy event for you. How nice is it when men give you the eye, as you say not for being fat, but for being gorgeous!!!!???

Re the carb thing. I re-introduced very slowly. Carbs used to be my staple diet and to be honest they scared the hell out of me. I eat them on occasion, but not in huge quantities and most definitely don't eat them at every meal. Yesterday I had carb twice which was a really huge exception to my rule. I mostly have porridge as my carb, occasionally a bit of bread if I feel like it but not more than once or twice a week. I hardly eat pasta, potatoes, rice or noodles, and try to stick to things like sweet potato or butternut instead. I notice a big difference in how I feel when I have eaten them. I am trying to eat "normally" now so yes I have them occasionally but they will never have the hold over me that they had before. Please keep writing, it is really cheering me up!!!

Have a fantastic week!

Jez
xx