Pregnancy and Baby Advice Thread: From Conception to Birth, and Beyond!
- Thread starter PrincessPeach
- Start date
Jess<3
Journey to 10 stone loss
Hi ladies, needing some advice and feeling very nervous to post this as I don't like to open up.
I was depressed before I fell pregnant, due to feeling useless, and pointless in life. More of the fact from having knee surgery and been useless to even stand up myself. (On going from a accident on 07 with lots or surgeries already and always got depressed with it)
Well I stopped my medication when fell pregnant and everything was going fine.
Recently I feel so unhappy. Hubby doesn't help with Jacob much, I have to ask for him to bath him, or get him dressed on weekends.
Same with house work. He never does the pots, Hoover's, laundry etc. I have to ask which sometimes still doesn't happen!
It makes him sound lazy but he does a lot of work within the house and garden... Like we moved Jacob in new room little while ago and doing his old room as nursery for this baby.
Friday I was peed off with him as suppose to go to his dads to drop Jaocb off for the weekend but he popped to a fishing shop which said would be 2mins.. half hour later, he comes back!. Jacob was unhappy and crying in car as wanted to go see Molly. His grandma's dog. Try explaining to a 2.5yr old we've got to wait is not good!
Then yesterday I drove (learner) to shops, I questioned was it this turning to go to the shop which he was like yes. So I stopped yo wait but cars were pulling out that lane so I said no it's not as cars were coming out. So he shouted at me yer it is it's there!! Move forward. (Ok might not sound as bad when I write it up now) which made me feel awful and started crying. I went in kind of parked and said he can sort it (useless as parking, no practice.) I had to run to the toilets as I was so upset and crying!!
We did have a nice dinner date set for at home I was going to cook but I went straight to bed and stayed there whole night.
I feel so unhappy and guilty as I should be so joyful!!
What harm would depression tablets do this far along? Everything was going great until this last week :'(
I was depressed before I fell pregnant, due to feeling useless, and pointless in life. More of the fact from having knee surgery and been useless to even stand up myself. (On going from a accident on 07 with lots or surgeries already and always got depressed with it)
Well I stopped my medication when fell pregnant and everything was going fine.
Recently I feel so unhappy. Hubby doesn't help with Jacob much, I have to ask for him to bath him, or get him dressed on weekends.
Same with house work. He never does the pots, Hoover's, laundry etc. I have to ask which sometimes still doesn't happen!
It makes him sound lazy but he does a lot of work within the house and garden... Like we moved Jacob in new room little while ago and doing his old room as nursery for this baby.
Friday I was peed off with him as suppose to go to his dads to drop Jaocb off for the weekend but he popped to a fishing shop which said would be 2mins.. half hour later, he comes back!. Jacob was unhappy and crying in car as wanted to go see Molly. His grandma's dog. Try explaining to a 2.5yr old we've got to wait is not good!
Then yesterday I drove (learner) to shops, I questioned was it this turning to go to the shop which he was like yes. So I stopped yo wait but cars were pulling out that lane so I said no it's not as cars were coming out. So he shouted at me yer it is it's there!! Move forward. (Ok might not sound as bad when I write it up now) which made me feel awful and started crying. I went in kind of parked and said he can sort it (useless as parking, no practice.) I had to run to the toilets as I was so upset and crying!!
We did have a nice dinner date set for at home I was going to cook but I went straight to bed and stayed there whole night.
I feel so unhappy and guilty as I should be so joyful!!
What harm would depression tablets do this far along? Everything was going great until this last week :'(
Susiew2001
Gold Member
I'm not sure I'm best placed to advise you hun as I'm sure you know there are people on here with a lot more personal experience than I have but...from a midwife point of view I would suggest you go and see your GP and make an appt with your midwife if you haven't got one in the next week or so. Tell them both how you feel and be as honest as you have been here and ask for help. Your midwife should be able to refer you to the mental health in pregnancy clinic where they can support you and help you with coping strategies and your Gp can potentially refer you for counselling etc. if you're lucky enough to have a GP who specialises in mental health ask to see him/her. There are some medications that can be taken but they will probably suggest you try other things first.
Re husband the only thing I can suggest that worked for me/us is to sit down and talk to him about it. Explain what you want and why you need help (being pregnant and having knee problems is a start!) and ask that he helps when you ask him to. It may well be he just doesn't realise, and needs prompting, no excuse I know but I genuinely think they just don't see stuff the way we do. Explain you feel taken for granted and that you can't cope with everything at the moment, you really need some help.
We had a similar issue though before Abbie was born, both worked full time but I did a lot of house stuff on top of it! Sat down and talked about it and he said he hadn't realised and that I needed to tell him when I wanted him to do stuff. He said he would probably moan but he wasn't moaning at me, he would just moan in general at x or y having to be done. He is much better now, I asked him to do all sorts of things like Hoover the stairs, clean the bathroom etc, and now he will often just do it when he realises it needs doing. I would suggest you start with something that shows obvious results....hoovering the stairs is a good start especially if you have a dyson or similar cos then They can see all the crap there is that they just don't normally notice.
If you can get a good routine sorted now, when bump 2 arrives will make life easier I'm sure.
Re the driving thing try not to worry-it's part of being a learner. I lost count the number of times my dad yelled at me. He was just frustrated that I was getting it wrong. Good for you for trying!
Sending hugs hun, being pregnant is hard enough without feeling pants as well. Xxxx
Re husband the only thing I can suggest that worked for me/us is to sit down and talk to him about it. Explain what you want and why you need help (being pregnant and having knee problems is a start!) and ask that he helps when you ask him to. It may well be he just doesn't realise, and needs prompting, no excuse I know but I genuinely think they just don't see stuff the way we do. Explain you feel taken for granted and that you can't cope with everything at the moment, you really need some help.
We had a similar issue though before Abbie was born, both worked full time but I did a lot of house stuff on top of it! Sat down and talked about it and he said he hadn't realised and that I needed to tell him when I wanted him to do stuff. He said he would probably moan but he wasn't moaning at me, he would just moan in general at x or y having to be done. He is much better now, I asked him to do all sorts of things like Hoover the stairs, clean the bathroom etc, and now he will often just do it when he realises it needs doing. I would suggest you start with something that shows obvious results....hoovering the stairs is a good start especially if you have a dyson or similar cos then They can see all the crap there is that they just don't normally notice.
If you can get a good routine sorted now, when bump 2 arrives will make life easier I'm sure.
Re the driving thing try not to worry-it's part of being a learner. I lost count the number of times my dad yelled at me. He was just frustrated that I was getting it wrong. Good for you for trying!
Sending hugs hun, being pregnant is hard enough without feeling pants as well. Xxxx
Jess<3
Journey to 10 stone loss
Thanks Suzie,
Yeah he's seen the struggles I've been through with the accident. As I shouldn't of been here tbh.
I've had to tell him a few times with stuff and does do them but slowly fades. I think to be fair it's a lot of a guy thing really!
As when he knows I'm annoyed he actually does stuff in the house ..
Emotions feel so much stronger with been pregnant, I've never felt about everything this badly so I know it's a lot to do with that.
I see my midwife on the 6th so il have a word with her then and see about going to doctors.
I did used to have councilling before with the accident as I was bed bound not standing due to leg injuries for months. Then I was ok and then had councilling again few years ago. Xx
Yeah he's seen the struggles I've been through with the accident. As I shouldn't of been here tbh.
I've had to tell him a few times with stuff and does do them but slowly fades. I think to be fair it's a lot of a guy thing really!
As when he knows I'm annoyed he actually does stuff in the house ..
Emotions feel so much stronger with been pregnant, I've never felt about everything this badly so I know it's a lot to do with that.
I see my midwife on the 6th so il have a word with her then and see about going to doctors.
I did used to have councilling before with the accident as I was bed bound not standing due to leg injuries for months. Then I was ok and then had councilling again few years ago. Xx
slimming-girl
Silver Member
I use a fit ball to do my Pilates on I don't think it will cause you to go into labour but it's good in the final trimester for turning baby. That's what I've found when I googled x
shenzi
Gold Member
Thanks ladies, good job I can use it I've been sat on it for the last hour, I'm guessing it's because baby is in place and engaged but dear god every time I try to stand up I feel like gravity is trying to pull me back down!
I feel awful saying this, because she is my miracle baby and I'm soooo happy it's finally happened but I want my body back now, not long!
missy1978
Big Bird
Hi ladies, needing some advice and feeling very nervous to post this as I don't like to open up. I was depressed before I fell pregnant, due to feeling useless, and pointless in life. More of the fact from having knee surgery and been useless to even stand up myself. (On going from a accident on 07 with lots or surgeries already and always got depressed with it) Well I stopped my medication when fell pregnant and everything was going fine. Recently I feel so unhappy. Hubby doesn't help with Jacob much, I have to ask for him to bath him, or get him dressed on weekends. Same with house work. He never does the pots, Hoover's, laundry etc. I have to ask which sometimes still doesn't happen! It makes him sound lazy but he does a lot of work within the house and garden... Like we moved Jacob in new room little while ago and doing his old room as nursery for this baby. Friday I was peed off with him as suppose to go to his dads to drop Jaocb off for the weekend but he popped to a fishing shop which said would be 2mins.. half hour later, he comes back!. Jacob was unhappy and crying in car as wanted to go see Molly. His grandma's dog. Try explaining to a 2.5yr old we've got to wait is not good! Then yesterday I drove (learner) to shops, I questioned was it this turning to go to the shop which he was like yes. So I stopped yo wait but cars were pulling out that lane so I said no it's not as cars were coming out. So he shouted at me yer it is it's there!! Move forward. (Ok might not sound as bad when I write it up now) which made me feel awful and started crying. I went in kind of parked and said he can sort it (useless as parking, no practice.) I had to run to the toilets as I was so upset and crying!! We did have a nice dinner date set for at home I was going to cook but I went straight to bed and stayed there whole night. I feel so unhappy and guilty as I should be so joyful!!
Hey Jess, I had a lot of problems with depression and anxiety during pregnancy. I was off the tablets before and had been for a while but pregnancy made it worse and I ended up having a breakdown at about 15 weeks, after which I was put under the perinatal mental health team. It was suggested that I get back on the pills (alongside therapy) but by that point I was so close to the end I wanted to get through without. They did assure me that some tablets are ok to take though, the ones they wanted to give me were sertraline. After I had Seth they were concerned about PND with my history and started me on sertraline as a precaution but so far I've been ok and much more stable than I was in pregnancy! I still go to therapy appointments every two weeks.
I know I'm rambling but I guess I'm saying that there are things they can do to help, not just pills either but things like CBT. Sometimes there's no reason for depression other then brain chemistry and pregnancy messes with our hormones so much that it's no surprise we struggle sometimes. Definitely talk to your midwife and see if she can suggest what to do - we have a specialist mental health midwife where I am and she was invaluable help but you have to be referred and that sort of thing can't happen unless your midwife knows. Or try your doctor if you have one you feel you can talk to? Either way please tell someone - yes, pregnancy should be a happy time but I know from my experience that the pressure to feel happy all the time can just make you feel worse.
If you ever want to chat just drop me a pm xxx
Jess<3
Journey to 10 stone loss
Thankyou, Im feeling much better about it all now and had a chat with Rob... Im going to speak to midwife on Thurs about it, see if councilling again will help since been few years since ive had any. xx
JoeyJoJo
Bring on the weight loss!
Just wanted to give you ladies a heads up for any of you that use Johnsons products on your babies. Johnsons products contain a cancer-causing ingredient (you can google for more info...Johnsons have admitted this) and so I stopped using Johnsons products on my little one. I wanted to make sure you are all aware and I feel like I have to let you all know as I know I would want to have been made aware if someone else had this information xx
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
Whats everyones thoughts on setting up an email address for baby and sending emails? What type of things would you send by email? Photos etc? Just trying to think of ideas
I'm going to do this but I keep forgetting! Maybe I'll do it today, having a day at home for a change. I'm just going to email photos and whenever he does something new etc. xx
I've never used any Johnson's products as they always sting my skin so luckily don't have to worry about this. It's bloody scary though, that they could be giving our babies cancer. Worrying!!xx
missy1978
Big Bird
I will do some more reading up on this - most of the chemicals in question will be in wide use throughout the industry I would imagine so it's hard to avoid any chemical preservatives. We used to get complaints about using SLS/SLES/methylparaben at Lush (I had one women scream at me one day that we were poisoning her!!) even though it was used in tiny amounts compared to stuff you'd find in boots and most of the products were preservative free. I don't know if these are the chemicals in this case but I know with those that you'd need to bath in buckets of the stuff for it to be a problem. Will definitely do a bit of research though
x
Dubchick81
Finally Pregnant!!
I said from the get go I wouldn't put johnsons near my baby as my nieces n nephews have all had reactions to them. As have I.
Seen that statement from them admitting to that tho a few weeks ago n posted it in my FB. It's disgusting!!
I use aqueous cream to wash and moisturise Eabha. It's lovely n bubbly n soft n smells so nice
I set this up yesterday. Gona set up an email address from "mammy&dadfu too to send stuff. Rather than use our current ones...
Seen that statement from them admitting to that tho a few weeks ago n posted it in my FB. It's disgusting!!
I use aqueous cream to wash and moisturise Eabha. It's lovely n bubbly n soft n smells so nice
I set this up yesterday. Gona set up an email address from "mammy&dadfu too to send stuff. Rather than use our current ones...
Jess<3
Journey to 10 stone loss
I collect pictures and videos and have started making a video of all the pictures from newborn -now. Taking me ages but will be awesome
Doing the video clips are proven to be harder as it's hard mixing them together after a calm waking up to a screaming one lol..
As of Johnson's stuff, I saw this too and going to use something different now!! Not sure which products etc though. Want nice smelling and more natural ones! X
Doing the video clips are proven to be harder as it's hard mixing them together after a calm waking up to a screaming one lol..
As of Johnson's stuff, I saw this too and going to use something different now!! Not sure which products etc though. Want nice smelling and more natural ones! X
Dubchick81
Finally Pregnant!!
I collect pictures and videos and have started making a video of all the pictures from newborn -now. Taking me ages but will be awesome
Doing the video clips are proven to be harder as it's hard mixing them together after a calm waking up to a screaming one lol..
As of Johnson's stuff, I saw this too and going to use something different now!! Not sure which products etc though. Want nice smelling and more natural ones! X
PHN recommended aqueous cream to me n it's luvly. Really cheap too!! Was about a fiver for a big tub. It can b used as a soap, a shampoo and a great moisturiser.
It's kinda like silcox base....
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
Does anyone know what to do when your baby has a cold? Cole is full of it, his nose is always blocked and I think he's got a sore throat as his crying is really hoarse.
I've used the saline solution to clear his nose. I've got some snufflebabe and baby Olbas oil but they both say from three months and he's only 9 weeks tomorrow. His nose doesn't seem to bother him too much, it seems to be more his throat. I know they say not to give babies water but I just tried him with some boiled aired water and he loved it. Had an ounce and is now snoring his head off. Is it ok to give him bits? I know the water can fill them so they don't drink their milk but if I only give him bits and it eases his throat would you all give it? And is there anything else I can do for him?
I've used the saline solution to clear his nose. I've got some snufflebabe and baby Olbas oil but they both say from three months and he's only 9 weeks tomorrow. His nose doesn't seem to bother him too much, it seems to be more his throat. I know they say not to give babies water but I just tried him with some boiled aired water and he loved it. Had an ounce and is now snoring his head off. Is it ok to give him bits? I know the water can fill them so they don't drink their milk but if I only give him bits and it eases his throat would you all give it? And is there anything else I can do for him?
Dubchick81
Finally Pregnant!!
I have stuff u can use from birth but it's basically olbas drops... So more for Moses than throats
Oh no poor Cole having a cold....fingers crossed it goes before the big day! I think You can use saline drops for his nose and if you have a pharmacy nearby you could ask the pharmacist if you can use any of the snufflebabe stuff etc. I know you could give him some calpol which might ease his throat a bit. To be honest I think if the water helps then give him some as long as he still eats whatever soothes his throat has to be a good thing. You could also offer less milk more regularly to give him fluid to soothe his throat..just an idea.
Hope little man feels better soon xxx
