lol I'm with you on the mum to 3 girls front!
I can understand your concerns on cot death ((hugs)). Just remember the things you can do against it, like no bumpers, feet to the bottom of the cot/basket, limited blankets and when able I've used sleeping bags after they're tiny. They work a treat till they can get out of them. but with 2 girls already I'm sure you know all the important things.
I knew a foster carer who had a foster baby who was a SID baby. Such a nightmare for her, she was investigated briefly by the police etc, but the post mortum showed a heart defect they hadn't picked up on. Took her months to get her head straight though - honestly. She didn't foster for about a year.
I'm not making you feel better, but I think with SID's it's very much an underlying factor we can't do anything about.
And no matter how hard on our anxiety and emotions, I guess the same is with pregnancy. I think this is why I had a panic today, was that it was out of my hands, I knew baby was 'alive' and had grown well.. but the final final thing was if the heart was ok. And as I chose not to have a triple test I guess I knew that today could be a risk in finding something wrong.
I wouldn't abort, and would never regret that - and truly if baby has downs would love it the same forever, but I didn't want the stress. And really thought that perhaps I shouldn't have the scan but knew that DH would never understand that as any heart trouble could be helped at birth if they knew about it - that was the only reason I still wanted the scan in case it was something that could be helped later if they knew about it..
Anyway.. there that's my rambling thoughts !lol
Something funny to end on.. Adele was having a cuddle with me earlier on the sofa and baby was moving around my naval - so I put her arm across me for a cuddle.. baby kicked and Adele made her arm jump away! lol TWICE! lol She looked confused at me the second time till I explained it was the baby kicking to say Hello!! She looked AMAZED at my tummy bless her! lol
