Quiet on here isn't it! - (or Sean's RTM Journey)

[daisydoll]

that sounds lovely sean - we're off with bro and sis in law and their kids to norfolk on 1st aug, 19 days and counting. we usually go to vendee but they won't go 'abroad' so we are staying in UK, very envious of you off to france, mind you i won't miss having to avoid the french bread, wine and cheese!
daisy x

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Ah, well I'm looking forward to all the French loveliness food & drink wise and am interested in how I adjust re choices, portions etc - unusually for me I'm not stressing about this but more quizzical I know I'll be OK and I know I'll have a number of over indulgent days/nights, but hey - that's what Holidays are for!

So week 2 of flying SOLO has passed - been a bit of a drag as I've not felt on top form (for reasons explained on another thread), but getting better these past 48hrs and much more optimistic again now

Over the last 7 days I've eaten an average of 2,241 KCal per day, but with exercise this comes down to ~ 1,925 KCal NET

Mostly the week days are 'good' calorie wise, and Friday - Sunday much higher, which I'm more than happy with as over the week it all works out. Had a major blow-out on Sunday after BBQ and was a little remorseful the next day but not as bad as last week - I think slowly I'm coming to terms with my imperfections and this can only be good for the long run.

I've socialized, eaten out, joined in BBQ, and been taken out to lunch twice in the past week and mostly made very healthy choices food & drink wise. I've walked most days and enjoyed being out, with longer walks at weekends and when time permits. I've even ordered a meal with CHIPS and Garlic Bread, eaten some of them and sent 50% + back on the plate.

I think I can honestly say I am making progress

Still feel weird about being 'slim' (see Daisy's thread), but I think I understand why that is which is the first step towards coming to terms with it.

I still don't feel ready to stop logging food & exercise yet though - but I guess this will come in time so I'm not going to rush it.

So Wednesday Night is meeting night & I didn't go - as planned, so weighed at home and

11 stone 13lb - EXACTLY the same as 2 weeks ago at last meeting (amazed and delighted)

So it seems I worry about nothing and MUST stop weighing myself at other times!!!!

I did say I'd go to meeting next week to be officially weighed, but think I may leave it until the next week on 29th July - that will be 4 weeks between visits and also the night before I go on Holiday - so if still the same weight I think I could honestly say I'd cracked it.

Good to catch up, back later

 

[daisydoll]

its great, you are maintaining excellently sean,and in 2 weeks time you will be relaxing in france...life is fab isn't it!!!
daisy x

 

[Sean(JSF)]

2 Weeks gone since last update.

TBH I'm really trying to lose the obsession with food, and little by little, day by day it is getting easier. I've still been logging daily calories but have not been stressed when >3,000 on any one day as I know the next day will be <2,000, and that I always have the option of extra exercise to bring things back into line.

I was due to go to WI last Wednesday but I decided not to, so I'm in 2 minds whether to pop in tonight or not as I go away for 3 weeks in the morning so if I miss this week it will have been 8 weeks since I last went and TBH I don't think I'd bother at all if that were the case. I always intended to stay in touch with LLC and it would be good to catch up with the group, but there's only really 1-2 still there that I know.

In any case I weighed this morning at 11.13 - the exact same weight I was 4 weeks ago at the end of RTM. Amazing TBH - I know I've put on a couple of lbs and obviously lost them, almost daily I guess depending on intake over the previous few days. I'm delighted as I'm still 'careful' but pretty much eating and drinking what I want, when I want it - all be it with a background of knowing what the healthy options are, sometimes I still think I over do the 'healthy' choice and still feel a little obsessed, but as I said above, it is getting better/easier.

I've no option but to stop logging after today as no internet in France. I really wanted to have stopped by now but I'll just have to go 'cold turkey'

It really has been an interesting 7 months on LL and beyond. I had no idea when starting the diet that it would be a effective, or as challenging afterwards. The simple truth I guess is that no matter what happens you are always yourself, always react in the same instinctive way to situations, and will always have to focus and work on conscious decisions/choices.

To those of you on plan I wish you every success, but for now my journey is over.

Goodbye

 

[Mel P]

Hope you have a great holiday Sean - enjoy yourself and relax.

BTW - I hope the goodbye doesn't mean you'll be gone for good and will still stop by occasionally to give your great advice

 

[thin_inside]

:wave_cry::wave_cry::wave_cry::wave_cry::wave_cry: :wave_cry::wave_cry:
:cry::cry::cry::cry:

Sean - we'll miss you. Have a great time in France and I wish you all success for your 'normal' future.

Your blog will live on and continue being an inspiration for those of us still to reach goal and get through the personal battles of RTM.

Love t_i.

 

[daisydoll]

Have a fantastic time in France Sean

maybe au revoir rather than goodbye - at least pop in every now and then to let us know you are still maintaining ok (which i'm sure you will be!)

you have been a fantastic support and inspiration

daisy x

 

[Minerva]

The 'Goodbye' is probably, hopefully more a symbolic goodbye... a farewell to this particular chapter in your life, armed with new know-how, you sound absolutely ready to take on the next chaper: The rest of your life! Which hopefully with the knowledge and experience that LL gave you will be a much longer, happier and healthier one.

I must say, when I read your post I felt so very optimistic for you. A little sad because I know I'll definitely miss your wonderful musings and thoughts on a regular basis... I have definitely learned much from you...

Enjoy your holiday, I'm sure it will be brilliant! We'll all miss you!

 

[daisydoll]

Sean - how did your holiday go?
daisy x

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Aw shucks you guys are way too kind

Not time for a full update but suffice to say I had a Wonderful 19 days in Provence. Sun shone with 33C+ temperatures every day.

Wine flowed, bread was fresh, cheeses fantastic etc etc etc.

Can honestly say I didn't consciously watch what I ate/drank but had a good time. Interestingly didn't eat 'out' as often as have done in other years, and didn't have a single 4 course (or even 5 course) dinner the whole time!!!

I did go to WI the night before leaving 3 weeks ago, and was the same weight I had been at end of RTM so well chuffed with that.

However on holiday I've felt really 'fat' despite numerous comments and congratulations from friends in France. Knew I'd put on weight and was convinced that I'd gained at least 2 stone to put me back to the original target at start of RTM. Wasn't happy with the thought as I don't really want to go back on packs although I have 2 weeks worth of 'lite' rations in my cupboard.

Originally I wanted to be 14 stone and maintain at 14 - 14.5. Having got to 11st 13lb I now really want to remain <13 stone as my lifetime range (within the whole stone). So weighed last night and as expected have gained but weight was 13.0 Stone!

So 14lb gained in 3 weeks is a lot but I'd expect 3-4 Lb to fall off in the next 7-10 days naturally so I don't quite know what to do for the time being.

I think I'll just keep off the booze Sun - Thurs and not snack and see what happens over the next 2 weeks. Hopefully will get back to ~ 12st 9lb which I think is probably my ideal fighting weight. If not I'll reassess and maybe try the Packs in September.

I'm open minded. Not 100% happy with choices on holiday (esp chocolate), BUT MUCH improved on previous behaviour. AND I have cracked the obsession with logging food & exercise at last

Congratulations to all of you still on the path.

 

[daisydoll]

well done mate, sounds as if you had a fab time - didn't stress over food and are well on the way to living a normal healthy life!

do let us know how you are getting on - it really makes a difference, so thanks

daisy x

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Cheers Daisy, REALLY enjoyed the Holiday and have struggled to get back into any sort of 'normal' routine these past 8 days food wise.

However, despite a BBQ on Sunday (when I drank too much - but only wine, no beer), and indulged in a pudding. And a 50th Birthday on Saturday - 3 pints of water as I was driving. I've been a bit more focussed these past 2-3 days and I admit I have started logging food again so I can judge what is causing weight gain/loss/STS post-holiday now I'v got all these bad habits! LOL

Anyway, as Wednesday was WI night I thought I'd pop back on the scales and in the 8 days since returning, simply by being controlled and a little more sensible I have 'lost' 5 lb!!

So I am back safely towards the middle of my 'comfort range' of 1 stone from lightest weight and I will see if I can't work on the last 2-3 lb over the next couple of weeks

To say I am relieved is an understatement as I'd not gained any weight in 8 months so the holiday weight gain (although expected) did come as a shock and reality check to the system.

So the next step towards lifelong maintenance is to 'naturally' lost a few more lb then stabilise for a month or so before next short break. Will be another challenge as we're getting to the time of year when there's loads of works lunches and events to attend, but I managed in abstinence and on RTM so this phase is no different. Simply keep focussed on the bigger goal and don't get too hung up on the odd lapse (is that the right word?).

So it looks like my 34 spare LL packs & bars will remain in the cupboard for a while longer which I am genuinely surprised about. Mind you the thought of a LL pack at the moment is NOT one that fills me with glee

So it's all good in the end. Catch up again soon.

 

[thin_inside]

You definitely deserve a t-shirt for your performance!

Well done that man. xx

 

[Mel P]

Glad to hear you had a good holiday and I'm sure you'll knock the last 2 to 3 lbs on the head with no problem.

Great to have you back and posting again

 

[Blonde Logic]

Good job Sean!!! You will, I suspect, always be in control now. You have invested too much time and effort and have placed a high value on remainig at or near your comfort zone. Little ups and downs here and there will happen,m but you took control. Well done!!!

Keep at it!

 

[Morticia]

I must admit I feel a bit down when I read the returners forum (sorry don't mean to offend anyone), but I worry that I won't be able to maintian. Then I read this forum with people like yourself Sean, BL, and SB and I really feel positive about the future and being able to maintain when the time comes. Well done and keep up the good work...

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi M. I feel very sad when I hear of people returing because they have put the weight back on too. It happens.

But - knowing how very ver scarily low I felt, and how horrible my life was - and that I let myself get there by the actions and words of others - I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I will never, EVER, go there again.

I think we all have to get there in our own means....it just really is a matter of hitting rock bottom - and maybe some truly had nothit their rock bottom yet. And well done them for trying again.

But we CAN maintain, and we CAN make this a permanent change.

I think the key is never ever get complacent - always be aware - and at the first sign of tourble, we MUST do something about it then. No head in the sand for us anymore.

Notice it - change it.

Thats my plan.


This is me forever now. ANd its a wonderful thing.

I hope all the other get to that too - but it has to be the right time, for the right reasons, in order for it to be alsating permanent change I believe.

xx

 

[Blonde Logic]

also - SB and I have often spoke about the amount various people lose, have lost or need to lose.

And please - this is not making light of anyone - but, I think when you have carried around twice your human weight long enough - not just a few stone, but 100 - 125 - 150 pounds, etc......to lose that, is REALLY like getting a second chance of life. No one wants to blow that - so it has IMMENSE meaning and importance to us.

I know its hard to lose ANY amount of weight - and ANY amount of weight is good. BUt to lose half yourself, that you have been lugging around, in my case for over 25 years - well - there is just nothing in this world that will taste better then how I am feeling.....to live again - really live - its the best thing every, and I place an immeasurable amount of value on that.

So - it depends on our circs, in a 360 degree circle I think.....its got to mean the absolute WORLD to you, to keep it off. And to me - it does.

xxx

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Thanks all for the kind comments. Maintaining isn't going to be 'easy' as BL says, it will take constant attention, and action when things look to be slipping. BUT That's normal. Everyone has some degree of awareness of their weight, even 'naturally thin' people are aware when they put on a few pounds and take remedial action.

For me the key will be sticking to a range I'm happy with and making sure that when I get towards the top of that range I cut back for a week or so rather than ignore the issue and carry on as before.

I admit this is a difficult concept to fully appreciate (intenalise) for me, but I am slowly getting there, as everyone who loses weight and wants to maintain must also do. Equally though it also means I can do anything I want around food & drink, without stressing and without any 'guilt'.

That's freedom, that's what we all wanted when we started LL.

 

[Blonde Logic]

Nice one Sean.

x