~~**Rela's Diary**~~

[Rela]

Dear Diary,

I am really fecked off. I have been super good this week, but became a little bunged up and yesterday I even went through agony at the hands of senakot (never again!) only to be told by my scales this morning that I hve lost no weight all week. Not even a measely ounce. It makes me want to go and eat a plateful of toast and all the other stuff I'm abstaining from.
On the flip side (which is the rational one too as it happens), I know this happens to all dieters, and that I am not really that far from goal compared to a lot of folks so its only normal for my plateau to come now. I get that, I really do, but I am human and I am female and I want to see after a week of not drinking hot chocolate in the snow a bl00dy change on the bl00dy scales.

Rant over.

 

[Rela]

And do you know what Dear Diary, I have just found my real life diary from when I got down to 9st before and according to that I stuck at 10st 4lb-ish mark then too but for around 3 weeks!!! Why does my body just demand I stay at that weight????
I don't WANT to be that weight, and I am the boss of me and I AM going to get through this sticky patch and my body WILL listen. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

 

[clarri]

Morning Rela,
It may be that your body is comfortable at where it is, mind you I do see that you are 5'1 so I can see why you want to keep going. Try tricking your body, up the cals for a few days, or up one down the next, and then see how it goes? I know that sometimes this can do the trick when you are near to goal.
xx
G'luck friend. xx

 

[Rela]

Thanks Clarri

I might try that, tummy is a bit tender today so takin it easy but tomorrow if its better I'll have a fry up to rival a pro-wrestlers and eat my way through the day. Bloody scales. Grrrrrrrrrrr.

 

[Rela]

1.6lbs off this week I'm hoping for a big loss next week as its half term and I know I'm gonna be rushed off my feet all week with kiddos LOL

 

[mommyB]

just wanted to say 2 things

1. sympathise with the senakot experience that was me a couple weeks ago, had to take diocalm to stop it!! never again is right
2. As a black country wench i love your avatar

 

[clarri]

Way to go on the 1.6 off. xx

 

[Rela]

Thanks Jane and Clarri Jane I see you're from Oldbury, do you know the One and Two Halves? I worked there for a while reliefing (thats the company I used to be a manager for). I am from Wolvo

 

[clarri]

Morning Rela
How is your weekend going? Have a lovely day today.
xx

 

[Rela]

Thanks Clarri Its going ok, I have to go to work tonight though I used to love my job so much but I'm starting to resent it lately as its taking time away I could spend on Uni work or with the kids. I know I ca't give it up as we'd struggle and that makes me hate it even more because I HAVE to do it. There's no other way. Aside from moaning about that I'm ok LOL

 

[Rela]

How is it that so-called family members know exactly which buttons to push to reduce us to feeling like utter $h!te? And how is it they offer help to you, so you take their offer, and then they change their minds and when you complain they have let you down after you have based your plans around their help they then have the audacity to say 'well I didn't have to offer in the first place'.....so DON'T THEN!!!!!!!

I'm so angry I could spit. I have managed to get onto the Student Associate Scheme with my Uni which is rare for a 1st year, it means I will be working in a school getting invaluable experience of what teachers do and planning lessons and so on, and before I even applied to the scheme I told my Mother in Law about it and she encouraged me saying she would watch the girls and she thought it was a fantastic idea. Anyway, I have got on, and I start after half term working 2 days a week in a secondary school...she knew when the start date was and that I had got the place 3 weeks ago, and she told me yesterday that she is going away for a week on thursday, so my first 2 days on the scheme I have NO childcare.
Hubby has spoken to work and they have been great (I work there too and we've been with company for 6 years) and have given him the days off, but thats 2 days pay we'll be losing

I'm just so cross but how on earth do I say ' you were doing me a favour and now aren't and I'm angry about that' ?

I feel like I'm being unreasonable but this is just the last in a long line of passive aggressive crap I have had to put up with from hubs family. Its like she deliberately goes out of her way to screw me over.

Why bother trying to do anything when you have people who are supposed to be family plotting against you all the time?

 

[Rela]

And so I resort to chocolate and the vicious cycle of self loathing continues.

 

[mommyB]

hi Rela, do i know the one and two halves?!! quite often at parties in the 'wacky' even held a few of ours there. spitting distance from our house, (back of Asda).
you mum in law sounds just like my mum, drives me crazy sometimes and yes just one wrong word from her and a loaf of bread can be history !! I sooo know where you're comming from

 

[Rela]

Thanks Jane Think I'm back on the wagon now and will just write this week of diet-wise. Families eh? Grrrrrrrrr!

 

[Rela]

Well I've woken up this morning feel in a slightly better mood. I have Uni today all day and will try and eat right but have already decided I shan't be banking on having lost anything this week what with Valentines Day meal out with Hubs and the accident with the chocolate bar the other day. I also haven't drunk half as much water as I should have been, just having a 'MEH!' week I think, will be back on track for next week though

 

[Rela]

Weigh-in and.....................nowt gone off, BUT, nowt gone ON either, and after champagne and chocs thats quite alright by me! LOL

 

[clarri]

STS is quite acceptible. Hope things are settling again.
xx

 

[Rela]

TOTM is here so I'm gonna have to get to Thorntons and get some diabetic yummies.....or some atkins bars....or both LOL

 

[Rela]

God I am so annoyed with work right now. Why is it when your back is against the wall on something (ie; they know you can't afford to quit) that they just pile the crap on your head? Its like I'm dealing with the managers issues when I'm barely a glorified supervisor and they KNOW that, I've made it quite clear with Uni and the kids I just can't commit to the kind of role they want me in and they were cool with it, but now apparently they have forgotten all those conversations

 

[Rela]

Must.Not.Eat.Junk.