River's LL Diary

[HannahNewton]

Bless you - rest up and take care of yourself. The salmon & beg will do you good xx

 

[River]

Thanks hannah Im feeling alot better today although i still have these damn headaches! Trust me hehe! Think im in need of a new immune system xx

 

[bb13]

I've just read your diary from start to finish - well done you! You've inspired me! I start LL officially tomorrow.

 

[MagdaX]

Loving the new avatar huni!! Is that a new hair colour?
Hope you're well!

bb13 welcome and good luck with your journey!

Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins

 

[River]

Aww thank you bb13 Im sure your journey will be just as inspiring if not even more! Good luck with your LL journey .

Hehe thanks Mags Its just a half head of blonde highlights i had done at my local college and i must say its the best job ive ever had done and ive done the £100 experience at tony and guy and not liked it as much as i have this time . Hope your ok huni, nearly there now! xx

 

[slendablenda]

Lovely pic Lucy. You look great. xx

 

[gracielou09]

Lovely pic hun gorgeous...xx

 

[River]

Thanks Sb hunnie, hope your better after your op and thank you gracielou!

Sorry again for being a slacker lol! Im having a crappy time at the moment.. quick question if it gets answered here would be great does anyone take peppermint gaviscon tablets or smoke menthol cigarettes? I dunno if theyre taking me out of ketosis.. i went for my weigh in on tuesday and did a stick and it was negative and i havent come off at all and to top it off i lost 1/2 but it was on lite i suppose.. anyway im on total this week as planned and for the next 3 weeks until i shift the 8 pounds hopefully (though im not so postive currently ).

Im just feeling the pressure of it now so close and yet so far feeling is horrible and stressing me out so yeah i took to smoking last week but i think i might give up for now.. but the rennie/gaviscon thing is bugging me as i do take alot for heartburn!

Hope everyone is doing well! onwards and downwards (hopefully!) xx

 

[River]

Well im feeling alot more positive about finishing the diet today. Ive probably mentioned it before in my many many ramblings but i have borderline(hate that term as its not borderline) personality disorder so i get so many moods throughout a day and its a learning battle but i try my best to be "normal" because i am normal really and although i do tend to take things harder in my world i can do this like anyone else i just need to convince myself that . So ive been i dont know any other way to term this but empty lately.. im just so emotionally and physically tired and empty ive struggled alot and i needed to get out of it but havent had the energy like i have done before but its gonna change from here (hopefully)!
I am sorry about the rambling but i really find it hard to express or tell anyone else as i dont want to make them hurt either but this really does help me.

So things today were so much easier diet wise, i didnt feel hungry so much as i have the past few weeks but im not sure if its been hunger or my pang for food i was eating on lite but part of me doesnt even want to eat again at this point as it hurts so much after lately. I did fall in eating on thursday, i was emotional and my partner came home from being away for 4 days and he brought me prawns and salad but im disappointed for not sticking total and having that meal was bad of me when im on total :sigh:.
I am however now back on "total" track and hopefully can start shifting those 8lbs for RTM and i have a brand new wardrobe of goodies and underwear courtesy of the OH !

Only thing i can honestly moan about right now is loo problems which is my thoughts to the 1/2lb loss tuesday as i hadnt been till today...

So positive thinking for me and sunny weather and high losses for all you ladies xx

 

[slendablenda]

Hello Lucy,
Lovely to read your update. You are nearly there hun. I know you have had some real challenges along the way. Well done for sticking with it.
A prawn salad isn't the end of the world. Don't be too hard on yourself up about it. Nice that your OH is coming back with treats and gifts for you. He must be very proud of what you are achieving.
Maybe in future ask him to help you by thinking of non-food things like smellies, jewellery etc. Sounds like you've got him pretty well trained already though.
As I was saing to Weebles and Magda on here, sometimes it's easier to post on this forum about emotional/psychological stuff because although it's virtual we do share quite a lot of personal
stuff and LL certainly helps you address the issues in your head as well as in your stomach.
Keep it up hun. Well done you.You look so pretty in your Avatar. xx

 

[River]

Aw thank you Slendablenda you make me feel so much better and positive about things, your an inspiration to me and many others on here.

I have to hold my hands up here and say it was more me than him as he did come home with my favorite perfume bless him and he didnt want to get me anything foody but no excuse really ive recognised it as comfort eating and ive told him to ignore my pleas as i cant be doing that anymore. Hes been my rock through all of this and many people try to pressure me into eating but hes been the angel opposed to the devils on my shoulder .

Yes it deffinatly does help to vent on here, im the type of person who finds it easier to pen and paper thoughts and LL has changed my outlook more than i thought not just with food either.

Thank you hun hehe i cant believe i have cheek bones in the picture, i just dont look like "me" anymore.

 

[Clarabow]

Posting on here I find is invaluable. Over the last couple of years I had stopped engaging in any meaningful talk about me. Everything was put in a box which I kept closed with food and drink. Since being back on lighter life I have started posting on here and talking to those who care about me a great deal more.

It's difficult when you don't want to burden anybody with all the woes. But think how you would feel if someone close to you was keeping things all bottled up. You would want them to talk to you and you would want to help. That thought keeps me going anyway lol

Indigestion remedies. Ranitadine. Total life saver. Small tablets no chalky bits or chewy bits to take you out of ketosis. Supermarkets and pharmacies do their own brand much cheaper than the branded stuff. Also I can't remember the branded name lol

Keep fighting the good fight. You have done amazingly well x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[River]

Yeh ive been the same Clarabow, i think my prawn salad eating was my way of helping it as i dont want to put this on him when he has to travel away but i sat down with my mum (over the phone really) and told her how i feel as shes never got it and ive never bothered telling her and i feel so much better with her knowing now but saying that she still isnt that good a listener so here i am hehe .

Do rennies and such take you out then? It would explain alot as i take them like sweetys lately as it hurts after i eat (damn you tabasco sauce!). I havent taken any so far and i did a stick yesterday after not drinking and it was pinky so im avoiding lol.

Thank you sweety and so have you! look at those losses, theyre more amazing than what i had hehe xxx

 

[Clarabow]

Welcome. It's good to talk.lol

Now if only I could have the consistency as well as the good losses. Down to me at the end of the day

 

[River]

I find at the moment drinking more water helps up them but i was never a consistant looser. Some weeks id have 5lb then 4lb then 4lb then 2lb then 4lb? Now its just more 1-3lb losses and my first ever 1/2 last week.

So i did it!! I got to my 8 stone loss at last and im so proud of myself my LLC was jumping with me haha at the 9 stone bracket! So 6lbs to go and im on to RTM, which is so scary and exciting at the same time . I got the RTM book off my councillor and some extra shepherds pie as my reward lol.
So whie i have the enthusiasm i might try my luck at running tomorrow.. its getting the guts to do it as im a big wuss .. so wish me luck ladies and hope you all have fab weigh ins and a sunny week! xx

 

[slendablenda]

Well done you !!!!!

Hey Lucy,
That's FAB - Congratulations. xxx
I know that when you started LL you never imagined you'd get to this moment and here you are.
You and your OH must be very proud. I can feel your excitement.
Don't worry about the next step.
RTM is another part of the challenge. You've got the support of your LLC and everyone on here. You can do it hun.
Remember the Phoenix? xxx

 

[Catthin]

Hi Lucy
I have just read your diary from the beginging.Your weight loss journey is great you have overcome so many things and you look wonderful in your picture wow 8stone is amazing.
You have inspired me to keep on going as I was dissapointed this week at only losing 2lbs.
Thank you
Cathy

 

[River]

Ah huni, Thank you so much it means alot my sharing of my experience can help others too, so im so glad its helping you to keep going!

Ive been in your place before and 2lb is an amazing loss and believe me i have cried from my "just loosing 2lbs" negativity but it is an amazing loss and your doing so well.

I think i got to the point when i came out of hospital that it finally sunk in that any loss was great and better than loosing nothing at all (i actually cant believe i didnt freak out over the 1/2 a pound last week lol).

So please dont get down over it huni, as your only 2lb is a great 2lb .

 

[hanmac]

Hello Lucy!
Was just catching up on your diary and have to say a massive congratulations on reaching the 8 stone lost mark!!!! That is an insane achievement and you are such an inspiration!
Good luck with RTM, you'll do fab
xxxxx

 

[River]

Hello Hannah! Ah im no inspiration compared to you huni! I shall be using some of your recipes back when you were on RTM hopefully hehe, as they looked so good in your food diary . Hope you are well hun xx