River's LL Diary

[River]

Thanks Slenda Im getting nervous now hehe!! Start in 2 days.

Soo i havent disappeared or dropped off the end of a cliff hehe! I went to see my family and friends in Wales as i need a boost. However things were not all rosey as prehaps i would of liked for my break before i start my new job.

I had a bit of a bust up with my younger sister.. shes drinking too much (every night, high volumes of alcohol) and shes naive and has decided to take her friends friendship over me after i asked her friends who are just as naive to stop her. Things were said and they were quite vile to me to be honest.

Ive just been struggling with it, im upset but ive cut all ties as she also tried to sabbotage my diet out of spite. Im a too much of a caring person though, so this has hit me hard and i guess in myself i too am niave as i never thought this would or could happen as shes my sister.

I have a great friend though and shes helping me (my sister i never had i suppose) though this and hopefully i can move near her next year as i do miss her.

Diets going great, didnt quite have the loss i wanted last week as TOTM was extra bad but its stopped woohoo :blissfor now) and i finally joined a ladies only gym today which i enjoyed.

Anyway look forward to weigh in tomorrow.. I can admit now.. not willingly mind lol!! That my tummy is looking less "large" shall we say and i have more of a figure now!! I can see definition when i wear tops so im feeling slightly fab .

Hope everyones doing great as i did miss you guys !!

 

[River]

Forgot this but thought it funny. When i went for my induction today the gym assistant i saw was quite funny about LL. Im not sure if it was down to her hard sell of their gym dietician but she did not like LL at all. Equally though she didnt understand it either and to be honest it made me feel awkward. I got a lecture on how diets like this make you pile it all back on and its unsafe for my health. I did LLers proud and argued our corner but i did not like the reaction especially coming from someone i wouldnt of expected it from.

 

[muppetgirly]

when you prove her wrong she will have to eat her words!

 

[River]

Hehe and i will!

 

[River]

Lost 3 and a half! So chuffed but getting a bit disappointed with my group. Im not sure if it my LLC not handling the numbers but theres 11 of us in our group and with getting weighed and whatever we didnt get started until we had 10 mins left so basicly we did nothing and this is after not doing it last week either, but bless her she cant help it i guess.

Its so fustrating because as fun as my group can be, im just finding it hard and not worth while going to. Besides the fact were not doing anything, people talk about food constantly!! and coming off for christmas was the top subject.
I got a bit bashed about not eating at christmas (starting to feel like the odd alien one out), just got told i was being "silly" as its one day ect. Its making me feel to be quite honest shitty and not lookin forward to next week.

 

[nutty me]

Hi Lucy,

Well done on the weight loss. Do not feel bad about the decisions you want to make. We are all adults and will make our own decisions regarding Christmas. Dont let them get you down, why should you feel bad about the decisions you make. Some people will break abstinence and some wont. You certainly dont need to justify your decision to anyone. In regards to class, our LLC has all our packs ready and we get weiged asap. I must admit sometimes we get 30 mins to talk and left to our own devices talk often turns to food. Often we have up to 45 mins working through our book.
Hope your next meeting goes ok.
Sam x

 

[slendablenda]

Hi River,
I've been abstinent at Christmas. It really is achievable. For me i knew it would be hard to make it "just one day" and get back on track. So glad I stuck to my decision. lots of people in my group founfd it hard to re-focus. You just make the decision that's right for you. Don't worry about what other people say or think. Thsi is your Lighter Life journey. xx

 

[River]

Thanks girls . Well im determined im not eating at christmas despite what they say, im just getting mousee and making a nice meal out of packs (as silly as it sounds!). Been so very busy with the new job havent had time to sit down lately, so its driving me batty. LL is going well and i hit my 3 stone mark! So im chuffed to bits, i am slightly missing food this week mind for some reason but ive stayed clear . Im just so exhausted.. i dont even feel christmasy this year.

 

[nutty me]

Well done hitting 3 stones- doesnt it feel great.
Sounds like work is keeping you busy....take care. x

 

[River]

Sorry i havent been on here for what seems like forever!! My jobs been awful although i think its kept me loosing with nearly 5 pounds every week! I gave up 2 weeks ago wasnt getting treated very fairly and my shifts were cancelled all the time.

Hope everyone is still loosing and keeping strong with christmas round the corner! I finally got to 4 stone loss last night which im so happy about, ive never in my life been this weight before.. ive passed it on the way up lol but never stopped to stay hello!
I can also say ive finally got into my 12/14 dress now for christmas so everyones going to get a shock when i see them on the 24th!

Ive just recently also got "closure" shall we say on my period issues too.. ive got polycystic ovary syndrome which im not too sure about as the only symptoms i relate to are the over weight and periods so well see.

Wishing everyone a lovely christmas and a happy new year! Stay strong! :xmascheers:.

 

[MagdaX]

Hi Lucy. How are you doing?
Glad to see you back on here and well done on losing 4 stone

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Lucy,
So sorry the job didn't work out. I'm sure you'll eventually find something that suits you better.
I'm glad you've had a diagnosis for your period probs. Not knowing is the worst thing isn't it?
Well.................what was the Christmas reaction to the new slim you in your new dress?
I hope you enjoyed a good Christmas and have a happier healthier 2011.

 

[River]

Hi girls! Ive just got in the door from doing my christmas visits hehe!! Im so tired and it was very hard not to eat as we had a christmas eve party and new years eve one (combined with many dinners )but everyone was shocked at my loss and were proud of me and i never ate a single thing apart from my packs!! but boy was it difficult the last few days i felt really down with all the food everywhere. Ive just made my OH a sandwich and was so craving it so i hope this isnt the end to my hard work..

Yes slenda, ive got my blood test still for my thyroid but least the pills are helping! P.s i was shocked i got into my dress on the day hehe (i mean ive always been a jean wearer!) but i did it and my mum nearly cried when she saw me! Slimmest ive ever been x

 

[River]

I have the damn flu.. not a happy bunny i must say!! Usually i avoid and hide from it but being around so many people at christmas i seem to have picked it up (yay)!

Had a bit of a conversation with my partner last night and im constantly having it in my head and trying to reason it and i dont know wether its from seeing all the food at christmas and im trying to find a reason to eat for the first time?
Im not exactly slim yet.. im still in the obese category although i have never been this weight before but i feel happy with myself.. im a size 14/16 and ive never felt happier.
Dont get me wrong though, i wouldnt mind being able to fit into a size 10 or 12 wedding dress or be able to walk into river island and be able to find something that actually fits!! but im worried it might be a step to far as i like having curves.
My mum and OH thinks i should carry on because ill never get this opportunity again really and if i dont like 10 stone i can always gain a little (as its so easy ). So am i just rationalising this all over a fudging olive i wanted at christmas (I should mention i did not succumb to said olive hehe)?!

 

[hanmac]

Hello Lucy!

Hope you feel better soon!

I know EXACTLY how you feel regarding the eating situation (firstly well done for not eating the olive!)
For me it got to the point where I just wanted to eat, I was so much slimmer than I was before and even though I hadn't reached my goal I told myself i'd lose it on RTM. People started telling me that i'd 'lost enough' and since I already had doubts in my mind I listened to them and started RTM. In hindsight I wish i'd stayed on the packs for a bit longer. Firstly, towards the end of RTM your glycogen stores start to refill so you put some pounds back on (i'd been a bit naughty during RTM so I ended up being a few pounds over where I wanted to be).

Secondly, once you stop LL it's hard to start again. Now i've had a month since completing RTM i've decided I need to lose 2 stone. And starting again feels daunting. I wish I had just stuck with LL a bit longer when I was still in the 'groove', i've got so used to eating again that going on the packs feels a bit like punishment.

So long story short, I agree with your OH and Mum, you are doing so well, keep going and like you said if you don't like 10 stone you can gain a little, you can find a weight that suits you But then again it's completely a personal decision, so if you feel ready to stop listen to your instinct, don't let anyone force you to keep going.

Hope this has maybe helped! Happy New Year!
xxx

 

[River]

Thanks Hannah, youve done so well lovely and you look fab!
I do think ill carry on, as youve said alot of people say its difficult the second time you get back into Lighterlife and to be honest i dont think ill be able to do it again as its taken alot of strength for me to do this and im not exactly the easiest dieter as i cant stick to the same meals and love my variety .

Ive always dreamed of being a size 10/12 but i just keep putting these barriers in the way ever since christmas and my group becoming so negative.. its just bizzare to be honest. Ive been strong all the long and now well i made myself a sandwich last night and just looked at it for 10 minutes which i never would of done before.

Im going to keep going though.. it would be lovely to wear a size 10/12 wedding gown next year and its only 4 more months hopefully..

 

[MagdaX]

Hi Lucy! How are you hun?
Hope you're feeling a bit better now.
Having flu while on LL is not fun. I've been there and the only thing that helped me was day and night nurse. I really hope this horrible flu season ends soon though!
Hun I know how you feel about wanting to carry on.
It is tremedously hard to keep motivated after such a long time. I had to dig deep this time to get myself out of the whole I've fallen in over the xmas period.
But hun, we both know that we have to keep going. We owe it to ourselves. We deserve it!
You have done so so well so far and the strength to carry on IS within you. I know it!
Please don't forget you are not alone and whenever you feel you need support you know where to find us!

 

[River]

Hi Mags, Im feeling alot better today thanks hun Ive been taking those benylin day and night pills and they have worked quite well i have to say oh and lots of rooibos (red bush) tea lol! How are you lovely?

Youve done so well mags, dont let a few days of weakness hold you back from reaching your goal. I have a few numbers of ladies in my group and not one of ones on my phone turned up tonight! Go you for getting back on track, i can understand how hard it must of been, i was tearing my hair out over snacks and a slight part of me wishes id of eaten to be honest as it was the most difficult thing ive ever done and made me a miserable cow! Ive been a bit more food nuts since ive been back from Wales but it is easing off and my partners not eatting in front of me.

I had a conversation with my LL councillor tonight about goals and i said 10 stone to her and she sort of said i was setting my expectations too high.. Well 10 stone 6lb and id be over weight so im not quite sure now to be honest! I like to have an aim but now im not so sure.

Thank you though mags you always give me a boost rincess: and i dont know what id do if i didnt have you girls on here hehe!

 

[River]

So weigh in day! Wasnt looking forward to it i must be honest.. toilet trouble and felt terrible but i lost 5 1/2 for the two weeks.

Ill be honest i was expecting a bit more but its no wonder since i feel rubbish and i cant goto the loo! I was crowned biggest looser in two weeks though lol and apparently the only person who didnt eat? My LLC looked a bit baffled really . Anywho i now have 3 stone 6lbs to go and it seems like a massive amount.. just hope it takes 4 months to go as i need to find venues for my wedding!!

 

[MagdaX]

Lucy you are doing fantastic! To have lost over 5lbs when everyone else is adding weight is an achievement and a half!!!
I'm soooo proud of you!
And as far as your goal is cencerned, only you can set your target weight. Don't let anyone tell you what you should weigh and where you should stop! It's your body and your life!
I'll stop at 164lbs which is very skinny for me