Rosebug's Diary [back on the chain gang~]
- Thread starter rosebug
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ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Well done Rose, that's a fab loss!
rosebug
Silver Member
I need it, Jim. I haven't cheated once in 4 months - I know I came off plan for a few days but only because I was ill and I only ate toast, soup, fruit and yogurt off the plan.
I've managed to do it because I've promised myself 3 days in April where I can eat anything I've felt like. I picked Easter because I've 'forgone' the day and exempted myself from the usual family gathering around that time so often as I've always been on a restrictive diet and didn't want the temptation. I'd like to feel like I don't have to miss everything and deprive myself of everything for one year. Last year again I was on a restrictive diet, missed seeing my family and being alone and miserable sent me into a binge.
To be honest, I've been tempted to not take the break. But I do think I need it, and my losses have been so on and off lately and I've been so frustrated and upset with them that I think if I stayed on and missed the break I've promised myself for 4 months and then lost 1lb or had a sts I would give up altogether.
I'm pretty fragile emotionally right now, tbh. I feel bad about taking a break but... I don't know. I just think I probably need it to stop me giving up altogether.
I'd rather plan to eat off plan and maybe feel a little less guilty and awful than give in to emotional eating. At least that way it's in control.
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Yes, the balance of eating, wanting to eat, not wanting to eat and alcohol being thrown into the mix, and life throwing all sorts at us, no wonder we get in such a state. I often wonder what would happen if we didn't have the hormones we have, does it make a difference? Dunno. I try not to use excuses but sometimes when you get to the end of your tether...............and food seems to be the only comfort, and yet you know it ain't, and afterwards you have to be much stricter to get it back off you wonder if it is worth it................and sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. So we just pick ourselves up and carry on doing our best.
Ok will stop rambling now, not sure if any of it helps but there maybe something it there that rings a bell, and if that is the case, you know you are not alone in this struggle. xxx
Ok will stop rambling now, not sure if any of it helps but there maybe something it there that rings a bell, and if that is the case, you know you are not alone in this struggle. xxx
rosebug
Silver Member
I know I'm not alone <3333 one thing I've learned in years of different dieting forums is how universal a lot of feelings are. Okay we don't all have the same feelings, but there always seems to be a group who will feel the way you do.
I'm lucky not to have alcohol thrown into the mix, I think. Hate the taste, but I definitely have an addictive personality and I think I'd have done badly if I'd ever gotten onto it. For me I can't see the appeal of something that makes you lose control. I have drunk before, but I don't think I've ever been really drunk, and my experience as a teenager of a bad trip was enough to put me off anything else for life.
I think it is about comfort. I know being on a diet makes being sad feel in far sharper relief. I think I eat in a way to numb myself. Certain foods do produce chemical reactions which are similar to warm fuzzy feelings we get from other things, and when there's an emotional hole you can't fill, you reach to mindlessly fill the space that you can. I've said before that comfort eating doesn't really work on atkins. It's something to do with carbs. They make me feel genuinely ill when I have too much, and I feel so much healthier on atkins, but atkins foods don't trigger the same numbing ability. It's weird, really.
I'm lucky not to have alcohol thrown into the mix, I think. Hate the taste, but I definitely have an addictive personality and I think I'd have done badly if I'd ever gotten onto it. For me I can't see the appeal of something that makes you lose control. I have drunk before, but I don't think I've ever been really drunk, and my experience as a teenager of a bad trip was enough to put me off anything else for life.
I think it is about comfort. I know being on a diet makes being sad feel in far sharper relief. I think I eat in a way to numb myself. Certain foods do produce chemical reactions which are similar to warm fuzzy feelings we get from other things, and when there's an emotional hole you can't fill, you reach to mindlessly fill the space that you can. I've said before that comfort eating doesn't really work on atkins. It's something to do with carbs. They make me feel genuinely ill when I have too much, and I feel so much healthier on atkins, but atkins foods don't trigger the same numbing ability. It's weird, really.
rosebug
Silver Member
If I was thrilled at how well I was doing, possibly I wouldn't take one either. But as I say, I've had several sts or 1lb losses. So I'm okay with how I've been doing, not thrilled. What I am proud of is the fact I've never fallen off the wagon, and I don't see a planned break as doing that.
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Morning 