Rosebug's Diary [back on the chain gang~]

I tend to only get the real cravings during totm. Watched my parents eat a giant choc brownie cake today no problems. When I'm stressed and upset I also want to eat bad things but I think that's an old numbing-while-self-flagellating habit a lot of people have. I wouldn't say I love food. I actually dislike much of it and when not on a diet tend to eat the same thing over and over because it's 'safe'.

I'm not expecting to lose at vlcd rates, but 2lbs a week would be jolly nice. Especially since I don't cheat. It does make it frustrating when I have a sts to know that I could have slipped and if I'd been back on plan right away I might well have had the same result.

IDK. I'd really hoped to be 11 something by easter but that's not going to happen. I can't even be certain it will happen by the end of may... which makes 'normality' by the end of July look far off, too.
 
Morning Rose love
 
Sounds like it is very hard for you to exercise easily, but as long as you do as much as you are able it is all you can ask of yourself. Not sure what else to suggest, but if you keep at it the weight should start coming off again before too long I hope xxxx
 
I hope so too Bren xx - and as I say, honestly I'm pretty lazy.

Some of my bloods are in and my anaemia isn't playing ball right now sooo upping my ferrous fumerate (iron) tablets and going to get my B12 injections topped up which might give me a bit more energy. I really need to get on with my work - like really, I'm less than half way through a paper due friday - but all I want to do is sleep, and visiting the hospital for nana as I have to do tomorrow and weds both takes 4 hrs out of my day and leaves me wiped. I'm going to have to push through that somehow.

Anyway, food today is incomplete as I slept most of the afternoon and will hopefully be up later to work. Still feel exhausted and sort of.. pre-fluey? Better not be.

Food today:

Chicken breast + wing, rotisserie
0g

peanut butter
3g

100g quorn, 20g gia tomato paste, cheddar, 1 babybel
8g

sugar free toy story ice pop
0g

100g stewed rhubarb, single cream
6g

Dietimeal shake
1.5

TOTAL [now confirmed]: 18.5
 
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We'll see if I actually manage to cook it successfully! The recipe seems to be 'put in pan with water. Leave for a bit. Add sweetner. Eat.' So I'm hoping it's within the bounds of my capabilities.
 
The rhubarb was completely and utterly delish. I think I made it with a bit too much water, but that just made a nice sweet juice. Lovely and a tonic for fruit cravings.
 
Morning Rose :)
 
Just woken from a nap post hospital visit so again part of this is planned food rather than what I've eaten. I'll adjust it if anything changes.

Food today:

Grilled salami with Philly cheese
2g

Tea
4g

Rhubarb with cream
6g

Mushroom pate & cucumber salad
4g

Macadamia nuts
3g

Total: 19g
 
Oh, muddling along in every sense of the word. I'd prefer myself if I could snap out of the permagrumpy mood I seem to be in.
 
Morning rose
 
Morning Rose, lets all try some PMA today, heaven knows it is hard to come by just now but lets make an effort (I am depressing myself so hate to think how the folks around me are feeling!)
:hug99: xxx
 
I think I'll be more in the mood for PMA if I can at least get my stupid work done by friday. Honestly, I sat up all night last night reading more for it but not actually writing. Actually can't believe myself. I just need to get that click where the structure of what I want to say falls into place. It's a hugely unstructured topic and I've foolishly gone and chosen something I'm genuinely interested in and thus made myself overly bothered by how I present it.

Sleep now, got 3 hrs last night. Reading endless T.S. Eliot.

Food diary + plan.

Peanut butter pudding
(low sugar peanut butter mixed with cream & splenda)
6g

Cauliflower with philly and parmesan
4g

mushroom pate on 1.8g carb toast and a babybel
7g

macadamia nuts
1.5g

TOTAL: 18.5g


...Should probably eat some meat at some point.

Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
 
2200 out of 3000 words so far. Apparently I function better when running on 3 hours sleep? When i tried to sleep yesterday eve it didnt happen and my brain started working out essay structure until i got up and wrote. Wish it had done that a week ago! 7am and I majorly need to get to bed now though. Finally have faith in getting this done, if not perfect (my bibliography is amazing though -26 books when we only need to reference 6).
 
Morning Rose love
 
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