Sander's Dukan Diary

[Sander23]

Posting in the right place....

So I made one diary entry its own thread -oops - but today's will appear in it's rightful place. I seem to be settling in, so I really don't feel like writing much, this is just my way of life - I don't eat sugar or bread or potatoes. Every other day I just eat protein. Blah...
Told my husband that even if I wasn't losing weight, I would probably stick to this eating plan just because I feel so much better. The improved energy, better mental clarity, and better quality sleep make it worth it.
I'm still hungry, but I know that it's emotional eating triggers, not physical hunger. So I just push through them or have some protein, which I really didn't want and makes me feel worse (no sugar high reward), take my walk, and try and let whatever is bugging me slide away.

 

[Maintainer]

You sound very like me in many ways, Sander, and it's good to look at the whys and wherefores while losing because when we move into Conso and rediscover "real life" (aka life without ketosis), our demons are still there waiting for us.

Like you, I've a tendency to overeat on this diet which is why I am still hovering on the brink of cruise and consolidation because I don't feel totally ready to let the crutch go.

Keep posting!

 

[Sander23]

Thanks Joanne! I am trying to do a pretty thorough job of scouring my behaviors this time through. I have been through many diets and plans, but I believe I was always falling into the "magical thinking" fallacy where if you just believe in something hard enough it will happen without you continually working at it. Plus, I know that part of me thinks I deserve to be unhappy and another part of me feels safer with extra weight. Putting all those parts together creates a rather messed up version of myself. So I am trying to work through the fears and keep from the self-sabotage.
I went through the personal counseling, behavioral modification, and group therapy route 10 years ago, but I think I was still too resistant to change. I didn't want to open up to the therapist, anyone in the group, or to truly report on my behavior. I still had all of my walls up. Of course, they told me before the program that I had to be ready to open up completely and give myself over to a radical change in lifestyle (sounds like a cult vs. a diet plan), and I said I was.... I'm really good at giving the right answers, but not always the true answers. I wanted to lose the weight, I wanted my insurance to pay for it, I didn't want to have to wait until I had conquered my personal demons or even acknowledge them.
Now, I don't believe that one issues actually get conquered, ever -- you just need to get to a truce, be ever vigilant, and ask for help when you need to

 

[Sander23]

feeling grumpy....

Hmmm - it is getting towards TTOTM and I normally have mood swings, and I think they are more severe now. Had a major blow-up w/ my son and am feeling hostile towards my hubby and my co-workers. Seriously de-motivated and lost feeling. Is this to be expected while my body is adjusting to this diet... will it get better next month... I sure hope so!

I look at my meeting schedule for work and pray - Cancel, Cancel, Cancel - I don't want to talk to the lot of you, I will probably get myself in trouble. It worked today , but they were moved to tomorrow, not enough of a delay!

 

[Maintainer]

The beauty about this sort of site is that we are anonymous. We can tell each other (or certain people by PM if you prefer) whatever we like without the "fear" of being recognised or even judged. It's often easier to open up to total strangers than to our loved ones. Particularly strangers with similar issues.

I don't personally see why your TOTM moods would be any worse on this diet than at any other time. You must be in ketosis, yet you feel stressed and antsy... Have you posted your menus? Weighed in?

 

[Sander23]

Hi Joanne,
I started posting my menus yesterday, so I've got two in there Maybe I am just more aware of what I'm feeling on this diet because I don't get to alleviate it through eating cookies, candy, bread and butter. So I actually am feeling what my true mood is and don't have the coping mechanism developed yet.... Early hypothesis, but it sounds reasonable. My official weigh-in is tomorrow, but I did take a peek this morning and I am down a pound, not bad for this week - I normally gain 5- 10 pounds in water weight (even back when I was skinny - I had size 8 jeans normally but size 12 for this week We'll see if it drops a bit more tomorrow morning.

 

[Maintainer]

Very interesting indeed Sander. Never having had the benefit of any counselling or therapy, yet in dire need no doubt, I shall be looking for your insights particularly to see how they can help me! I'm a very good dieter. And if binge eating were an olympic sport, wow! Anything else I'm hopeless at, and regularly press on the "sabotage button" when I get to a good weight (err like around now - so far so good!).

I saw your menu, and it's great and very varied and innovative. I just queried two things. The dill pickle? And to ensure you keep the protein side of your PV days high as is advised for best results.

Good luck for weigh in. I stayed the same, which is good

 

[Sander23]

Another day... Feeling slightly less grumpy, but still would rather sleep than work Our heat wave broke, so now its back down in the 50s after 3 days in the 90s (never got the hang of celcius weather, sorry). Should make the walking easier hopefully. We've several celebration parties to attend over the weekend, so I'll be drinking lots of bad coffee (they always make it weak and bitter for these large, home grown parties) and most people will be drinking the other beverages anyways..... Luckily I'm not a fan of sheet cakes with lots of frosting, so I should not be too tempted.

 

[Sander23]

Random Thoughts:
The limiting nature of Dukan makes it both easy and hard to follow. When your mind is telling you all the things you NEED to have and they are not on the list of allowed foods it gets depressing and the temptation to let just one morsel pass your lips gets very strong. But if you give in, then that other voice in your head tells you how silly you were to even attempt to change and that you should just keep on eating and eating and eating. The core you need to hold on to is that you can stop, you did stop, you have been successful, and you can control yourself. Those all make you a strong person. Then grab on to the next temptation and wrestle with it - why do you want it, what is so enticing to you about it, do you really want it as part of the you you want to be or is a piece of the old you that you really don't want?

 

[Sander23]

Grrr - I am really angry at my manager - which makes me really want to eat!

 

[dukandebut]

Oh no, what happened, Sander? Don't let your boss spoil your resolve. Try and stay strong.

Do you have any Dukan-friendly treats available to have instead? Maybe a Mullerlight toffee yoghurt or some sugar-free jelly?

 

[Sander23]

I just feel like he is setting me up to fail and it drives me nuts. My anger emotional trigger is the strongest one - I ate my sugar-free jello, I had some protein, I took a walk - a really long one, in the rain, through the underbrush, up a hill.... Finally caved and had 3 crackers and one of those naughty marshmallows which got rid of the craving, but still not on the diet, but I am patting myself on the back for keeping in control for the most part and not eating everything in sight. I don't know a good way to release all that frustration yet, food seems to be the only pressure valve that works for me (sweety and salty combined, so I normally go back and forth between sweets and salties until there is nothing left and I am ill). But I think I need to figure that out for this to be a long term success - but i still have several months on cruise to try and work it out, plus all the conso time - so I will just keep at it

 

[Emms24]

Hi sander, just been reading through your diary it's really interesting.

With regard to releasing frustration could you not go for a walk? It really helps. Or scream into a pillow? Rant to a friend on the phone. That's what I do, tho it's usually my mother who gets my rant lol or my flatmate if she is in!

I am an emotional eater and can also over eat so as soon as I start on something sweet I keep going and going and going... It's a nightmare so I have to be careful. Chocolate is the worst thing for me so thankful that is not allowed on dukan or I would just not cope!

Anyways it sounds like you are doing really well. Don't let a couple of slips get you down just learn from it and next time you are tempted try and think of tht horrible feeling of guilt that comes afterwards, such a good deterrent!

A few weeks ago I was at a hen party and had pre ordered my three course meal, the desert was a lemon merringue pie. I couldn't decide whether to eat it or send it back and as everyone else was being served their desserts my mouth was watering so bad, oh how I wanted that juicy lemon desert! Anyway, I made the decision to ask the waiter to cancel my desert and I sat and watched everyone else indulge then everyone finished! The empty plates looked horrible and I just felt this overwhemling sense of pride that I had not given in. The plates were cleared away, i didnt have to think about it again Everyone was sat complaining how full they were and I was just comfortably satisfied. I felt brilliant after and was so proud of myself! I have never done that before! I always need a desert! Then I went on to enjoy the rest of the night knowing what I had done.

Hope that little story helps in some way x

 

[Sander23]

Should have known better...

Yesterday was my son's confirmation. In my area, confirmation is a big event and parties are mandatory. So we went to 6 confirmation parties - 2 for him and 4 for his friends. (Instead of having a party just for him, his two best friends decided to share their parties - we don't have any family in the area, so our party would have been 3 people and 2 dogs) The grandmas cooked a huge feast and made cakes with my sons name on it and added him into everything. It was really awesome and very touching for them to adopt him that way. But I didn't want to go and be a picky eater, so I decided to have 2 PV days in a row - I could eat meats and veggies. I tried to pick carefully, but I think they added sugar to everything they made! I have a raging headache today and my stomach is all queasy... sigh. So I am doing PP today and tomorrow and hopefully will be back on track and feeling good again.

 

[dukandebut]

Don't give up, Sander. Obviously, you did the best that you could during the confirmation. For the rest of the time, as I suggested, try making some Dukan-friendly sweet things in advance so that they're always on hand if you're feeling tempted.

 

[Sander23]

Feeling much better today. Going dairy free makes it hard to come up with desert type options, but I am doing ok with the sweet cravings for the most part. Sugar free jello is my savior Made a really terible roast - couldn't eat it - what a waste of a beautiful lean beef roast. I tried to get creative and do a pepper crusted roast in the slow roaster - the pepper permeated the meat so thoroughly I couldn't eat it - after two bites it was enough to make my stomach upset all night long! That was the dinner the night before cofnirmation Sunday, so I set myself up to do poorly the next day by having such a horrid dinner Today I grilled a bunch of chicken breasts at lunch - one of the benefits of the home office, so I will have chicken the rest of the week for lunch and snacks.

 

[Maintainer]

and of course, because it's only the leanest of cuts of beef we're advised to eat, they do tend to be the least tender unless well cooked (or flash fried!). None of the lovely fatty cuts which are so delicious when slow cooked!

 

[Sander23]

Going on along nicely... the food boredom is starting to set in so I have to start being more creative. But I also can't get excited about eating, so I don't want to put out the effort. I am finally sick and tired of smoked salmon - didn't think that would ever happen. I am trying to think about what it is I want, so then I can come up with an alternative, but I don't want anything. I think it is that I am tired of preparing food but I do it better than the restaurants for what I can eat.

 

[Sander23]

Haha - I think I am the only person left that doesn't own a microwave I think the "food is fuel" mind set is a key - my hubbby is that way and has stayed pretty much the same weight over the years. So are several of my other friends who have stayed slender - those of us who love food, we have gotten squishy... Funny thign is my hubby, since he isn't food motivated - has been pretty much eating what I eat so I don't have the leftovers I was planning - he's eating my extra protein and skipping the sides so I have a fridge full of leftovers I can't eat

 

[Sander23]

Haha - I just have to plan for more food - both he and my teenage son are loving all the protein rich meals, so they are scarfing it down. I made chicken strips coated with oatbran and spices yesterday for our pre-soccer snack - Games are at 7 PM which is our normal supper time, so I need to alter our meals to have a more substantial snack at 4 PM. I decided to go with the chicken strips because they guys could wrap them up with tortillas and cheese and lettuce and I could eat them plain I made 12 - think 3 for each of us and 3 left over - nope - 3 for me (I was full), 3 for my hubby (he was full) and 6 for the boy - still hungry, but ok... He also had a yogurt and an extra tortilla with just cheese. He is 6 ' 1" and 144 lbs, I think he has the metabolism of a hummingbird!