You are doing so well - try & think what you really need when these feelings hit. As women & mothers we do tend to put others first & don't love ourselves enough. I know I feel guilty when I want to be alone, or spend time relaxing with a book, or not cook for others or spend money on myself, or just say no to anything - all things which don't actually hurt other people or mean I don't love them. I find it scary at times to be assertive or selfish as it feels dangerous, as if I will lose love, support & approval. I wonder if food became our drug of choice - to suppress those fears and compensate for not feeling allowed to be, or even knowing how to be. Like you, I have issues from my childhood - they never go away but hopefully, by dealing with our food issues we will overcome our pasts and feel more powerful, successful and happy. Warm hugs.