Warning to anyone reading this, it may be a bit of a ramble - I've got a lot in my head that needs to come out!
I'm back. I disappeared because I didn't really feel like I had anything worth writing on here, but I've been thinking a lot and now feel like I need to get my thoughts written down and into order to make sense of them and decide where to go next. I've been off plan for about half the week, and really didn't care. I was eating junk that I didn't even want, just because I could. I didn't weigh in last week, so I've had 2 weeks between weigh ins. The first week was almost a total write-off, with I think only one day where I ate properly, 3 days where I was ok-ish, and the other 3 were a total nightmare. This week I was really good for 4 days, and the other 3 were rubbish. I managed to scrape a 1.5lb loss at weigh in last night, which I was pretty amazed by I have to say.
I've been thinking a lot about my current weight loss situation over the past week. I've kind of been stuck in a bit of a rut lately, losing a pound here and there, and gaining the odd half pound too, just hovering around the same weight. This was really frustrating me, as I was convinced that I was sticking to plan and the weight just wasn't shifting. So, I then told myself that I'd probably got to where I was going to be, and that I would just have to accept it and carry on at the weight I am now. Having thought about it a lot the past few days, I've come to the conclusion that I've actually been sabotaging myself by thinking that I was stuck, and it has caused me to be naughty, which is actually why the weight hasn't been moving. I've been having the odd bit of chocolate, or packet of crisps, or biscuit or whatever, and convincing myself that one won't hurt. One by itself probably wouldn't, but when you look at the big picture, a couple every day add up and they really do matter. I need to regain my control over this weight loss, I really want to lose this last bit, and it's definitely there to go, so my body shouldn't be stuck yet. I know there is a point where my metabolism has to catch up, so I accept that I may be there, which is why my losses may be a bit smaller, but it doesn't mean that I'm stuck permanently and can give up and become deflated. I will get to target!
I've also noticed over the last week or so that I've been craving meat. I woke up last weekend and really wanted a bacon sandwich. Sunday we went for a picnic, and the boy had some chicken bite things, which I was also tempted by. I stopped eating meat 4 years ago, and this is the first time since that I've even remotely wanted it at all. Now, I didn't stop eating meat because of animal cruelty, or anything like that, I stopped eating meat because my body told me too - I didn't like the taste or texture of it any more, and I didn't like the way I felt after I ate it. I've always been a big believer in listening to what the body wants and following it. I think it's possible that the past few weeks my body has been trying to tell me it wants meat, and I've been misreading the cravings and eating junk to try and cover them up. I've been eating junk that I didn't really want, and I've been feeling rubbish because of this. I want to think seriously about it before I start eating meat again, but now I'm aware that it might be what my body wants I can listen clearly to what it's telling me and then make the decision.
So, there's my ramble, which may or may not make sense, but writing it all down has helped me organise my thoughts a bit, which will go a long way into getting me back on track. I may start eating meat again in the next week or so, in which case more EE days will start to appear in my plans. A lot of what I eat will probably stay the same, as I love my meat-free foods, and it's a cheaper way of living, but we'll see. I just need to listen to my body and take stock.
Here's today's food plan:
Breakfast
Nectarine (SF)
Wholemeal roll (HexB)
Meat free burger (0.5 syn)
Extra light mayo (0.5 syn)
Ketchup (1 syn)
Lunch
Jacket potato (F)
Low fat spread (2 syns)
60g cheese (HexA + HexB)
Low fat salad cream (2 syns)
Gherkins (SF)
Dinner
Mixed pepper stir-fry (SF)
Mushrooms (SF)
Beansprouts (SF)
Rice noodles (F)
Soy sauce (F)
Sweet chilli sauce (3 syns)
Total: 9 syns