Scrumbles' diary...life after losing a third of me...

[Scrumbles]

"...seems a small price to pay for not putting weight on again"


Very true. I would MUCH rather weigh all my food forever more than find myself slipping back into obesity again - that doesn't bear thinking about.

I suppose I'm just finding acceptance a little harder than I thought I would. I guess there's still a part of me that desperately hoped, against the evidence of a lifetime, that I could miraculously become metabolically normal and think nothing of ordering pizza and having a sensible amount or scarfing down a big ol' white bread sandwich, but it's never going to happen, so I need to just move along...

I was back in the 10's this morning. Been hovering just above for a few days, spent yesterday peeing like a racehorse (though not in ketosis, or anywhere close!) and this morning was down a pound and a half, so my usual pattern is holding. I might drop another in the next couple of days - that would be a new low if I do, which would be nice - but we'll see. Maybe the 8 miles of walking I did last week is paying off...ha!

Did another 2 miles this morning, and I'm definitely moving quicker than before. It used to take me 40 minutes to walk 2 miles, so that's 3mph; today it took 34 minutes, so I've upped my pace to 3.5mph without actually trying - just a natural progression in fitness. Even better, I was with OH so I was talking practically the whole time (he hardly gets a word in edgeways, poor fella ) and I was never seriously out of breath. At this rate, I'll be running in the not-too-distant future. Cool!

 

[ladyfelsham]

That sounds fabulous, Scrummie, you are becoming so fit!

And as to the pizza, don't forget the cauli variety

 

[moonlights]

.

I suppose I'm just finding acceptance a little harder than I thought I would. I guess there's still a part of me that desperately hoped, against the evidence of a lifetime, that I could miraculously become metabolically normal and think nothing of ordering pizza and having a sensible amount or scarfing down a big ol' white bread sandwich, but it's never going to happen, so I need to just move along...
!

I think at least from my point of view as someone who has been morbidly obese and dieting for most of her life the feeling has always been : when the diet is over I can eat anything because I'll be THIN and thin people are magic and can do that.

When it turns out that a) no they can't and b) for people like me the diet will never be over.

I don't do moderation. I suck at it. If I am allowed to eat anything I want then I will not have a slice of pizza and feel full and be satisfied, I will have the whole pizza and consider ice cream afterwards.

I've learned that

a) I cannot say to myself 'never again'
But
b) I need rules to live by or it will be 'every day'

So, for me, that's where off plan and on plan fit in. When I'm focused on weight loss, as I was last year, off plan means once every 3-4 months with absolutely no slips in between.

Maybe, when/if I hit target and am happy with myself, off plan might mean 1 day every 2 weeks or something similar. And the rules between might be less tough but they'll still be rules.

I think that's the best I can hope for. But I think there will always have to be a 'plan' and I'll always have to be on more than I'm off. Those bad habits still remember me and they'll creep in as soon as I let them.

 

[ladyfelsham]

I don't do moderation. I suck at it. If I am allowed to eat anything I want then I will not have a slice of pizza and feel full and be satisfied, I will have the whole pizza and consider ice cream afterwards.

Yep that's me too!

I think that's where so many people go wrong - they do really well, lose the weight, then slip into the old habits, with no rules and lots of food rewards - which is just too easy to do.

I can only assume for me that it will be calorie counting for life now.

 

[Scrumbles]

I think at least from my point of view as someone who has been morbidly obese and dieting for most of her life the feeling has always been : when the diet is over I can eat anything because I'll be THIN and thin people are magic and can do that.

Exactly. Some part of me would always believe that the mere fact of being thin would change me into a normal, slim person, and for a while at least, that would appear to be so.

I lost quite a bit of weight in my first year of uni and kept it off the whole time I was there, but that was mostly to do with having very little money and needing to walk miles every day! As soon as I had the means to eat more and no requirement to move, I piled it all back plus more, ending up the biggest I'd been in my life to that point. Six months of strict calorie control saw me lose that weight, but after a couple of years it was back again. And so on.

No metabolic miracle has ever occurred, nor will it. No matter how long I stay slim, there will always be an obese person trying to get out, and if I want to prevent that, I will have to be a conscious eater for the rest of my life. It sucks, but that's the way it is and I have to deal with it. We all do :/

Been hovering just inside the 10's for the past few days, so nothing much changing weight-wise. Went for a 3 mile walk on Monday, spent 5 hours doing physical work around the house and garden yesterday, and did a 2 mile walk (uphill!) today, so I'm clocking up the exercise as and when I can.

Food has been a bit carbier than usual (having rice more often than I normally would), but it's not causing me to gain on the scales so I'm not concerned. Have to say, one of the best things about moving up the carb ladder has been that I no longer worry what I'm eating when it comes to tomatoes, onions and red peppers. They've been my core main meal ingredients for years, so it was a bit of a pain to have to restrict them when I was in Induction/early OWL. Happy days!

 

[Scrumbles]

Still hovering at 10 st 13 - almost exactly the weight I was this time last month, so this definitely looks like maintenance.

I haven't exercised as much as I would have wanted this week, but this grotty weather the past couple of days has put a big dampener on my enthusiasm. If the sun ever appears again , maybe I'll get moving...

 

[ladyfelsham]

Sun - ah wouldn't that be nice?

 

[Scrumbles]

Down to a new low today of 10st 12.4lbs, which is 0.4lbs lower than my lowest weight last month, so I may still be losing, albeit at a glacial pace, lol Would be nice if I could knock off that 0.4 in the next few days though, 'cos then I'd have lost a round 90lbs in total, and I do like round numbers!

The weather has also hit a new low Was going to change my avatar background to a nice spring scene, but apparently we haven't finished with the snow yet....:sigh:

 

[ladyfelsham]

It has just snowed here and OMG it's cold, even inside the building!

Well done on the loss hun, to reach your lowest ever - that is brilliant

 

[coffeelover]

Well done Scrumbles. Doesn't matter which pace it's at, it's great.

Baltic here. Sunny but gale force biting wind. Surely spring is around the corner?

 

[Scrumbles]

Thanks - it's nice to lose when you're not actually trying, even if it's just a few ounces, lol!

Sun is out, but still bitterly cold. Pfft. I hate March

Still keeping my cals and carbs under control (just!). I think the fact that I virtually gave up alcohol last year probably helps a lot in keeping me within bounds. It's so easy to make really poor food decisions when under the influence, not to mention all the calories in booze itself Teetotaldom helps keep the shopping bills down too, so it's win-win, really!

 

[moonlights]

That's exactly how I feel about not being able to drink. It makes dieting so so much easier.

 

[ladyfelsham]

That's exactly how I feel about not being able to drink. It makes dieting so so much easier.

Oh my goodness it is SO much easier! And the money I'm saving is going into my Viva Italia holiday fund

 

[Scrumbles]

Ooooh, holiday fund is a great use for it, Susie I should work out what I've been saving over the past year by not drinking and spend it on clothes - could do with some new ones for summer now I've had to ditch a lot of my old circus tents, lol!

Weight was 10st 13 on the nose this morning. This time last month my weight had cycled back up to 11st 1, so I may have shifted my set point down a smidge. Or not - I'll probably find it's just delayed, lol.

Anyway, the important thing is that I'm continuing to not gain, so my body can clearly handle what I'm giving it at the moment.

Very tempting to push the boundaries, mind you I've had a few days recently where I've gone over 1800 cals (my supposed limit) and nothing has happened, so of course I'm now wondering if I could get away with eating that much on a consistent basis. Where is the tipping point, I ask myself? My body seems okay with hanging around at this weight, but how close am I to setting the process in reverse?? Inquiring minds want to know! lol

The other thing I would love to know is whether I've put back my initial water weight loss from right back at the beginning of the diet without realising it. Frankly, I've been eating enough carbs in the past couple of months for at least some of it to have returned. I suppose the only way to know would be a week or so of Induction/early OWL level carbs to flush it out...maybe after Easter I'll give it a go, though I'm not even sure I could do a week of it now - no spuds! yikes!

 

[ladyfelsham]

could do with some new ones for summer now I've had to ditch a lot of my old circus tents, lol!

WOOHOO arty0011: that is such a wonderful thing to read, hun - it is SO time for you to go shopping!

Re your cal level, I have to confess this weight loss science thing is all a bit much for me, so I have absolutely no idea what might work best for you, sweetie . I've got my cals set at 1500 (MFP reduced it slightly this week because of my weight loss so far), and I went WAY over last night, probably by about 300 cals - and today, I've lost another pound. One thing I have noticed about cal counting (and which I love about it) is that when I'm 100% the scales don't jump around like they did for me on low carb. Also love that it's more forgiving - had some ginger snaps before bed and they haven't taken their toll

 

[Goldilukes]

Hi scrumbles

Just wanted to pop in eventually after having to lurk for months whilst waiting for minimins to validate my account and say hi. I've been thoroughly enjoying your diary Ad hope to hear that you are keeping well?