Ok my plan is 3 meals a day, and thats steamed meals - 1 at 500 range and 2 at 300 range, if I NEED more to eat I'll have a slimfast with skimmed milk and/or a small pack of fruit or a banana.
Thats plenty veg, fish and chicken everyday which is calorie counted so no room for error, plus I like them, with the option of a shake and fruit... this would be till mid June and is for my daughters birthday.
It's important I dont spend it like her first which was in floods of tears and a totally ruined day.
I'm just forgetting about my 40th birthday altogether, hopefully I will get to celebrate my 50th with someone special, who knows.
if I can just get back in the 12 stones then:
1. My husband might be able to make his mind up as to whether he wants me again.
2. My daughter wont get bullied for having a fat mam
3. My daughter will get out more, half the time now I can't be bothered to take her to the park as it seems too much of a hike and effort. She deserves better than she's getting right now.
4. I'll feel happier with myself which will make me a stronger person and able to cope better which will make my daughters life better and I'll be setting her a bit better example.
5. I'll have some energy and motivation to be able to play with my daughter. Maybe we can kick a ball about at the park. no one ever did that for me and it's going to be down to me to give her that.
6. I'm only going to get one chance to make her childhood good, and she's only getting one childhood - I don't want to waste it and more importantly I don't want her to look back and feel it was wasted, and if losing weight is what it takes then I have to do it.
7. I'll be able to wear my old clothes again and be fashionable instead of wearing what fat old women wear.
8. I cant take another hot summer at this weight.
9. I have found for the first time in my life I actually struggle to sit in a cafe fixed seat, so if the comfy armchairs arent available I think I'd have to leave.
10. The lift in Mothercare wont take both me and my husband and daughter, we must exceed the weight limit
I'm not a happy person, I'm not enjoying being a mam much anymore, I'm not enjoying anything... I'm exsisting thats all.
I don't have any family or friends or a life and it's going to stay this way untill something changes, and thats got to be me.
i'm embarrassed ans ashamed about myself whenever I leave the house. I get abuse off strangers and ex nearly mother in laws cos of how I look, I never did when I was thinner. I get dirty looks and I feel like I get treated like a 2nd class citizen.
I avoid people I know when out to the shop. i'd go out of my way to avoid them if I could cos I know what peope think cos they told me when i lost weight once before about how huge i had been (and that was 2 stone lighter than i am now! so they must think i am super huge).
Life as a fat person just isnt fun at all - I hate it and it's not me!
I hate seeing people moan about their lot like this,and always think well change it if youre not happy instead of moaning about it! So will take a leaf out of my own book - I CAN lose this weight I've just got to do it and it isnt rocket science, It's simply to stop eating too much! Just keep away from the fridge/freezer/cupboard... don't buy in bulk cos I will eat everything ... it's a battle I never thought I'd have to do again but I do... I've got to go through it all again, but I suppose there's no chance of anymore babies so this should be the last time at least!
