Steps In The Right Direction...86.6lbs Lost Fasting

[weebuns]

I moved to Cardiff as a grown woman with a baby in tow at 43, 10 years ago now. Admittedly, I had my mum and dad here and my sister, B-I-L, their two kids, brother and S-I-L (although they moved to Switzerland in 2010) but for reasons I'm not even sure of, my sister and brother and their OHs were less than supportive so I was pretty much on my own. I did make a couple of friends through my son's nursery and these are the people I have relied on ever since although I do occasionally go out with the mums from his primary school. However, I decided a couple of weeks ago that I needed to expand my social network so I've joined Meet Up. Not sure where you're planning on moving to but there might well be one in your new area so check it out. I went to my first Meet Up on Saturday - the Cardiff Fab 50s - and it was fun. The organiser has already posted a few more dates for events taking place for us to get together. Good luck.

Find your people - Meetup

CHILL! One date at a time, enjoy it while it's good, you'll ruin it by overthinking.
I'm here by the way so you'll know me too!!!! Seriously though, we might hate each other on sight but we might not, got to be worth meeting up to see I reckon.

Thanks both of you x I'm not the most self confident of people and it is the only concern I have about moving. The friends I have I've had for years. I'll be honest...and this is probably shocking...I don't even like most of them and we have little in common, but it's easier than making new ones I find it daunting the thought of having to put myself out there and socialise. I am a real homebody but don't want to completely cut myself off. I don't want to get that I am reliant on and OH totally for my social life. I think being overweight knocked my confidence...and my poor choices in relationships just compounded it. And I think the older you get the harder it is to make friends naturally without being proactive about it.I'll more than happily take up your offer Kitty! x

 

[weebuns]

It's not surprising ur having an emotional week - u've had a fair few ups and downs since I've been following ur thread - not to mention ur Mum's antics! So u'll be going thro a gamut of emotions - how many of us can take dates one at a time if we're honest? At times like this anyone wd be looking into the future as well as ruminating about the past.

Hopefully u'll have a job soon -that'll give u a starting point - plus ur family, ur fella for now at least and u might even join a club or take up a new hobby - who knows? You sound really well grounded and you'll make things happen for urself I reckon.

Hope date 2 goes as well as the first xx

Thanks upndown...you always help me look at things more positively x :thankyou:

 

[KittyBling]

So glad the date went well. If nothing else it will boost your confidence hugely and hopefully more Have you definitely decided you're coming over here or are you still making up your mind?

 

[upndown]

Thanks both of you x I'm not the most self confident of people and it is the only concern I have about moving. The friends I have I've had for years. I'll be honest...and this is probably shocking...I don't even like most of them and we have little in common, but it's easier than making new ones I find it daunting the thought of having to put myself out there and socialise. I am a real homebody but don't want to completely cut myself off. I don't want to get that I am reliant on and OH totally for my social life. I think being overweight knocked my confidence...and my poor choices in relationships just compounded it. And I think the older you get the harder it is to make friends naturally without being proactive about it.I'll more than happily take up your offer Kitty! x

Yes I think most of us lose confidence when we're overweight - but come on now have u looked in the mirror lately - surely ur confidence has gone up even if it's only a tiny bit? Ur certainly not that big in ur size 14s!! So if u decide to move - it'll be a few weeks at least and u'll have lost even more and may be in those size 12s ur saving? It only take about 10lbs to drop a size!

I overthink things too - but not sure it does us any good - try to focus on the positives and not look too far into the future (wish I cd take my own advice!) - it's ur choice - ur up for a new start - u've wanted to move for a while - u have family there - Kitty will be around - u'll only accept a job if it really interests u - ur fella is there - ur future's looking bright to me - no-one will know u've been heavier - they'll see u as a slim weebuns (even if u don't !!)

As for being older - it doesn't stop us from making friends & socialising - we just have to do it in a different way ,,,,,at the end of the day .... it's ur choice - go or stay u'll be in a better place for having lost the weight, ur ex and a job u weren't enjoying at the end with a boss u cd't stand!!

 

[weebuns]

So glad the date went well. If nothing else it will boost your confidence hugely and hopefully more Have you definitely decided you're coming over here or are you still making up your mind?

Definitely moving to Belfast. Have been in touch with estate agents here and over there and only applying for jobs in the Belfast area. Hopefully making the move in September if I can get everything organised

Yes I think most of us lose confidence when we're overweight - but come on now have u looked in the mirror lately - surely ur confidence has gone up even if it's only a tiny bit? Ur certainly not that big in ur size 14s!! So if u decide to move - it'll be a few weeks at least and u'll have lost even more and may be in those size 12s ur saving? It only take about 10lbs to drop a size!

I overthink things too - but not sure it does us any good - try to focus on the positives and not look too far into the future (wish I cd take my own advice!) - it's ur choice - ur up for a new start - u've wanted to move for a while - u have family there - Kitty will be around - u'll only accept a job if it really interests u - ur fella is there - ur future's looking bright to me - no-one will know u've been heavier - they'll see u as a slim weebuns (even if u don't !!)

As for being older - it doesn't stop us from making friends & socialising - we just have to do it in a different way ,,,,,at the end of the day .... it's ur choice - go or stay u'll be in a better place for having lost the weight, ur ex and a job u weren't enjoying at the end with a boss u cd't stand!!

I avoid mirrors, even now. Think I got so used to not liking what I saw I decided to avoid them. Don't even have a full length mirror in the house. I think a lot of my anxiety about meeting new people is that for so long I could hide behind my weight and use it as an excuse...if past relationships were bad, friends were less than friendly I put it down to my size...after all what did I expect if I didn't like myself then why would other people. If I had so little respect for my own body that I let myself get so obese why should people show me respect? I think it's why I put up with a whole lot of cr*p from people in the past. I know that part of me has definitely changed !!...but confidence takes a time to build. Now I've lost a lot of weight I feel kind of stripped bare and vulnerable. I have nothing to hide behind any more... no armour made of blubber!! Is something I will need to work on

 

[upndown]

Definitely moving to Belfast. Have been in touch with estate agents here and over there and only applying for jobs in the Belfast area. Hopefully making the move in September if I can get everything organised



I avoid mirrors, even now. Think I got so used to not liking what I saw I decided to avoid them. Don't even have a full length mirror in the house. I think a lot of my anxiety about meeting new people is that for so long I could hide behind my weight and use it as an excuse...if past relationships were bad, friends were less than friendly I put it down to my size...after all what did I expect if I didn't like myself then why would other people. If I had so little respect for my own body that I let myself get so obese why should people show me respect? I think it's why I put up with a whole lot of cr*p from people in the past. I know that part of me has definitely changed !!...but confidence takes a time to build. Now I've lost a lot of weight I feel kind of stripped bare and vulnerable. I have nothing to hide behind any more... no armour made of blubber!! Is something I will need to work on

That was a tough post to write - I think? It was sad to read too - but that's all in the past - as u say - u'll need to work on ur confidence - and learn to be kinder to u!! Hopefully ur successful 2nd date will help a little, it takes a lot of confidence to move and I'm sure there'll be lots of other non scale victories b4 long too!! Remember to take care of u - ur worth it!! xx

 

[weebuns]

Day 6/31

Breakfast - Porridge with skimmed milk, raspberries and banana

Lunch - Toastie made with granary bread and filled with bree, red onion and bacon. Served with a side salad, coleslaw and a few crisps

Dinner - Baked potato with veggie chilli, cheese and salad

Snacks - Vanilla skinny latte
M&S fruit pot
M&S sushi

Food not great but not awful. Bit stodgy though! Lunch was out and was really tasty. However today's date ended kind of awkwardly. You know when you can sense someone has something to say but they keep backing out of it? I've had that feeling all week and was probably why I was over thinking. I don't know if cousin's OH said something to date or if he was planning on saying it all along but I got the bottom line of why he broke up with his ex. She wanted them to move in together..he didn't. Not only that he doesn't think he will ever want to share his space 100% with anyone...ever. Now I'm not for rushing things and am happy to take things a step at a time and see what happens and where things lead but don't know if I'm happy to do that with someone who has such a closed mind about the future, however remote that future might be. I've only just got shot of a commitment phobe!! Fair play to him for being honest and he is very kind, considerate, funny, gorgeous...and polite!...but I didn't quite know what to say. How far do you dip your toe in the water to find out if you like how things are going to be? Was he meaning he doesn't want to be tied down to just one woman? I don't know. He only came out with this in the last half hour we had. I did however manage to stop myself eating everything in the house when I got back in so feel that was a pretty good achievement. Think I'll head to bed and sleep on it x

 

[upndown]

Day 6/31

Breakfast - Porridge with skimmed milk, raspberries and banana

Lunch - Toastie made with granary bread and filled with bree, red onion and bacon. Served with a side salad, coleslaw and a few crisps

Dinner - Baked potato with veggie chilli, cheese and salad

Snacks - Vanilla skinny latte
M&S fruit pot
M&S sushi

Food not great but not awful. Bit stodgy though! Lunch was out and was really tasty. However today's date ended kind of awkwardly. You know when you can sense someone has something to say but they keep backing out of it? I've had that feeling all week and was probably why I was over thinking. I don't know if cousin's OH said something to date or if he was planning on saying it all along but I got the bottom line of why he broke up with his ex. She wanted them to move in together..he didn't. Not only that he doesn't think he will ever want to share his space 100% with anyone...ever. Now I'm not for rushing things and am happy to take things a step at a time and see what happens and where things lead but don't know if I'm happy to do that with someone who has such a closed mind about the future, however remote that future might be. I've only just got shot of a commitment phobe!! Fair play to him for being honest and he is very kind, considerate, funny, gorgeous...and polite!...but I didn't quite know what to say. How far do you dip your toe in the water to find out if you like how things are going to be? Was he meaning he doesn't want to be tied down to just one woman? I don't know. He only came out with this in the last half hour we had. I did however manage to stop myself eating everything in the house when I got back in so feel that was a pretty good achievement. Think I'll head to bed and sleep on it x

I think that looks like a pretty good day's food - it's difficult when ur out too - and think I might have had a mighty binge after that parting statement!! I'm not sure what to make of that either - maybe he's been hurt in the past or his parents had a difficult relationship - or he cd just like his own company?

On the plus side - I guess it's best out in the open - he's making a big effort to fly over to see u tho' - u'll need to give urself time to think about that and decide what u want to do.

Just noticed u lost 12lbs in June - a great achievement - ur 2nd best monthly loss - and it was a tough month for u - bet u wdn't have lost that much on WW!!

 

[weebuns]

Thanks upndown x After a fair bit of messaging back and forth... where he thankfully explained he's not looking for some open, casual arrangement...which would have been a straightforward goodbye from me.... we've decided to just enjoy things for now and let the future take care of itself. I'm happy and enjoying myself. I've come out of a long term relationship and for now something with no pressure or expectation is just what I need. And heck maybe I wouldn't want to live with him anyway!! Not all relationships need to lead somewhere. Sometimes they are just fun for the time they naturally last. So the plan is that I'm going over weekend after next for a visit. Will probably combine it with looking at accommodation and finalising what area I want to live in.

Made a trip to Holland and Barrett to get some better snack choices. Have been doing a lot of reading online about clean eating and it varies so much with what is and isn't "allowed"...but then I realised I don't have to follow anyone else's rules I can make my own and do what I'm comfortable with. I mean who's going to come and tell me off?? (...on Minis probably lots of people !)

Want my diet to focus on wholegrains (wholemeal pasta, wholemeal bread etc), fruit, veggies, fish, chicken, lean red meat, good fats, eggs and seeds/nuts. Trying to cut out artificial sweetener, fizzy diet drinks, processed foods (ready meals, cakes, biscuits, white bread, white rice and white pasta) and trying to reduce my dairy intake. Not cutting out carbs as I need them!

Tea and coffee...don't know what to do about them. Are they good are they bad? Every day you read something different. One day drinking so many cups protects you from some type of cancer the next it can give you a different type.

Alcohol..don't drink much at all. Can be months in between having a drink. So don't think the odd cider or glass of wine will do me any harm.

Chocolate, cheese and crisps....I love them...seriously love them :heartpump:. These will be hard to give up and honestly don't know if I can. Maybe will just need to limit them?

Of course there will be social occasions with the odd takeaway or gatherings and holidays where I eat off plan.

My friend who has been doing SW for what seems like forever has inherited my box of WW artificial sweetened goodies to use as syns.

 

[BinkyBonk]

Subscribing, you are doing so well and have a positive attitude, well done x

 

[upndown]

Thanks upndown x After a fair bit of messaging back and forth... where he thankfully explained he's not looking for some open, casual arrangement...which would have been a straightforward goodbye from me.... we've decided to just enjoy things for now and let the future take care of itself. I'm happy and enjoying myself. I've come out of a long term relationship and for now something with no pressure or expectation is just what I need. And heck maybe I wouldn't want to live with him anyway!! Not all relationships need to lead somewhere. Sometimes they are just fun for the time they naturally last. So the plan is that I'm going over weekend after next for a visit. Will probably combine it with looking at accommodation and finalising what area I want to live in.

Made a trip to Holland and Barrett to get some better snack choices. Have been doing a lot of reading online about clean eating and it varies so much with what is and isn't "allowed"...but then I realised I don't have to follow anyone else's rules I can make my own and do what I'm comfortable with. I mean who's going to come and tell me off?? (...on Minis probably lots of people !)

Want my diet to focus on wholegrains (wholemeal pasta, wholemeal bread etc), fruit, veggies, fish, chicken, lean red meat, good fats, eggs and seeds/nuts. Trying to cut out artificial sweetener, fizzy diet drinks, processed foods (ready meals, cakes, biscuits, white bread, white rice and white pasta) and trying to reduce my dairy intake. Not cutting out carbs as I need them!

Tea and coffee...don't know what to do about them. Are they good are they bad? Every day you read something different. One day drinking so many cups protects you from some type of cancer the next it can give you a different type.

Alcohol..don't drink much at all. Can be months in between having a drink. So don't think the odd cider or glass of wine will do me any harm.

Chocolate, cheese and crisps....I love them...seriously love them :heartpump:. These will be hard to give up and honestly don't know if I can. Maybe will just need to limit them?

Of course there will be social occasions with the odd takeaway or gatherings and holidays where I eat off plan.

My friend who has been doing SW for what seems like forever has inherited my box of WW artificial sweetened goodies to use as syns.

That must have been a relief he's not after an open casual relationship - as u say at this stage in ur life - it's good for u to see how it goes with no expectations and for as long as ur enjoying his company.

Like ur idea of clean eating - I try (but regularly fail!) to follow that mantra with a tweak of my own - I aim to be 'clean' 80% of the time - and try to keep the remainder for treat (not always 'bad' but even 'good' stuff has calories doesn't it?!

As for tea and coffee etc - I try to drink water - fruit & herbal teas - with the odd tea & coffee but then if those drinks are our main source of calcium we have to watch that!!

I reckon all this is a journey and we can tweak things as we go along (as long as we're goin in the right direction that is!)

 

[Lexie2005]

Well done for having such a great attitude about the date (we need to think of a name for him!!!) I had a "relationship" after my first marriage broke down that was perfect for what we both needed at the time & we are still friends now x

 

[carrieclaus]

What about naming him hotbuns? xxx

 

[weebuns]

What about naming him hotbuns? xxx

Ha ha ha...I think he'd like that Carrie!! Hotbuns and weebuns...what a couple

 

[weebuns]

Day 7/31 - fast day

Dinner - Baked trout, salad and a baked potato

4 x teas with skimmed milk
1 x coffee with skimmed milk
1.5 litres of water

Forgot to update my exercise for the last few days:

4/7 - Daily fighting with the hula hoop and that was all due to the rain
5/7 - 11 miles walked
6/7 - Hula hoop, 3.5 miles walked
7/7 - 4 miles walked, hula hoop (still spend more time picking it up than anything else!)

 

[KittyBling]

Glad you cleared the air with him weebuns, that will stop things getting weird cos neither of you is prepared to say anything. Go with the flow I say and see where it takes you. I know you have your cousin in situ but if you need any advice about areas that are good/bad or if I can do anything here to help you please let me know. In my opinion, at this time of year, the more flags there are in an area the less desirable it is to live in. Just a guideline

 

[weebuns]

Glad you cleared the air with him weebuns, that will stop things getting weird cos neither of you is prepared to say anything. Go with the flow I say and see where it takes you. I know you have your cousin in situ but if you need any advice about areas that are good/bad or if I can do anything here to help you please let me know. In my opinion, at this time of year, the more flags there are in an area the less desirable it is to live in. Just a guideline

Thanks Kitty I may just take you up on that x Cousin is distracted with organising her wedding so don't want to bother her too much. Have narrowed it down to a couple of areas though I must admit some of the city centre apartments are appealing...but expensive!! Really looking to live somewhere as neutral as possible...adds an added dimension to accommodation hunting.

 

[KittyBling]

PM me some details if you like. I don't pretend to know everywhere in Belfast but I can certainly give you some pointers, it's a small city. City Centre would be ideal, some gorgeous apartments have gone up recently, especially riverside but yes they are dearer. Having said that you could then walk everywhere (you can easily walk from one side of Belfast to the other) and would be very close to all rail/bus links so wouldn't need to use a car much if at all. It's an exciting adventure though! When is your cousin getting married?

 

[ladybird777]

Thanks both of you x I'm not the most self confident of people and it is the only concern I have about moving. The friends I have I've had for years. I'll be honest...and this is probably shocking...I don't even like most of them and we have little in common, but it's easier than making new ones I find it daunting the thought of having to put myself out there and socialise. I am a real homebody but don't want to completely cut myself off. I don't want to get that I am reliant on and OH totally for my social life. I think being overweight knocked my confidence...and my poor choices in relationships just compounded it. And I think the older you get the harder it is to make friends naturally without being proactive about it.I'll more than happily take up your offer Kitty! x

Ikwym. Once our house is sold I'm upping sticks with my two autistic boys to a place I know no one at all but in the long run will be better for them. I know it's going to be hard to make friends but I've started inviting the place and networking a bit. I'm terrified of meeting anyone else tho cos I have been toasted well and truly by ex. I tend to think people are being polite rather than actually like me.

 

[weebuns]

Some of the snacks I picked up yesterday..



Had this today and LOVE it!! It's just like eating a bar of peanut butter



Really need to think of different types of exercise. Hula hoop and walking are fine but variety would be good. Maybe I'll join a gym when I've moved