Story thread

[Mrs Depp]

.............Jack remembered he didn't like sushi. So he promptly threw down his knife and fork and gave a wink to Bobby Ewing Atlantis Man and released him from the ropes allowing him to throw himself from the side of the boat into the sea.

A few seconds later Lionel Ritchie emerged from the galley with a huge platter of roast beef, yorkshire puds and all the veg swimming in a pool of beautiful gravy. Jack picked up his knife and fork and sat down eagerly, licking his lips in anticipation.

 

[Fuzzys Angel]

& to his horror Lionel walked straight pass jack with the huge platter of roast beef yorkshire puds and all the veg swimming in a pool of beautiful gravy into Doctor Who's Tardis that had just re-appeared on deck.

Jack jumped up......

 

[Mrs Depp]

.....just as Kylie entered the Tardis. "Gooday cobber!" she cheerfully twinkled flirtily (Kylie had had quite a crush on Jack ever since she'd seen him in the first Pirates movie). But she knew in her heart of hearts that he only had eyes for Mrs Depp So, she'd decided to flirt with Dr Who/David Tennant instead.

Jack's eyes were glazing over at the sight of all that lovely food on the platter...............

 

[CW Consultant]

Shall I shan't eat the food he thought, would my CDC know, not seeing her until next week.

Got away with the Rum last time he thought would he get away with the food too

One of his shipmates appeared, bloody hell thought Jack he needs a shave.

Jack suddenly had the urge to sit him in a chair and give him a close back and sides with a razor.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm meat pies also went through his mind - what was happening to Jack his shipmate suddenly looked like a large steak and kidney pie

 

[Mrs Depp]

OMG I've just been looking at this thread! Coincidence or what?!



Diet or no diet, I'm in the mood for a good baking session! Thought Jack hungrily as he waved his knife above his shipmate's head......

 

[CW Consultant]

Psychic or what Mrs D

As Jack waved his knife above his head he suddenly got a glimpse of himself where did that large white streak in his hair come from when did that happen.

With his cut throat knife in his hand he looked like some kinda demon barber

His shipmate screamed, very manly I must say, and jumped over board landing straight onto a

 

[Mrs Depp]

an inflatable shark which was floating in the middle of a swimming pool. "How the heck did that happen?" he thought to himself as he lay back and enjoyed the sensation of floating in the sunshine.

 

[CW Consultant]

Damn thought Jack there goes dinner.

He looked over the side of the ship at the inflatable shark if his aim was good he good deflate the swine and then the only way back for his shipmate would be to climb on board

The threw the cut throat blade but it was half open and shaped like a boomerang OMG it was heading straight back to him at an alarming rate

 

[Mrs Depp]

just a Jack remembered to duck the blade whooshed past his head managing to slice through the white streak of hair at the front of his head!

"Oh my god! I'm gonna be bald now!" he shouted to no-one in particular....

 

[CW Consultant]

A wave of panic went through him, wheres my hat and wheres my rum he called, again to no-one in particular as there was no-one in particular there. Although in this thread it could be anybody. He heard the door behind him creak.

Who's there he shouted come out and show yourself the door widened and a bony hand with a glistening gold ring wrapped itself around the door, slowly a floating vision came gliding out, the Corpse Bride appeared.

Where have you been she said I have been waiting in the underworld for you and whats happened to your hair?

Jack looked over at her, you need to eat more he said.

Come on they are waiting to take our photographs.

Jack started to sweat how was he going to get out of this one

 

[Mrs Depp]

Then Jack suddenly remembered what his childhood friend Dorothy had told him, so he closed his eyes tightly, clicked his heels together and said out loud "I must, I must, improve my bust. Oh sh1t! Wrong one!"

He composed himself and started again, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home...."

 

[CW Consultant]

Damn it he thought that won't work the Black Pearl is my home and I'm here already

He looked up and the Corpse Bride was floating around the ship he wondered if they had rum in the underworld it was a wedding party after all so there should be plenty and food too.

I'm here deerie he said and took her by the bony fingers with a whooosh they descended

 

[Mrs Depp]

to the very bottom of the Pearl, where they met Kate Winslett and co dancing jigs to some very fast Irish music.

 

[CW Consultant]

Noooooooo this is not the underworld. Hold my hand said CB this was just a pit stop we are on our way now

 

[Mrs Depp]

They flew deeper and deeper into the depths of the Pearl. "I never knew I had such a big ship!" said Jack. "I could've rented a few rooms out as cruise cabins and made a tidy profit!"

 

[Isis]

Especially with a cabin where Mrs D could have been included in the price as a hand maiden for the duration of your stay. There to perform any duties and answer any whim you may have.

Mmmmm, thought Jack..... v. interesting and he began to wonder if they had a directory enquiries in the underworld so that he could look up Mrs D's phone number when.....suddenly the CB glared at him and screamed.........

 

[CW Consultant]

Not Mrs D I am married to you we took our vows. We are leaving the Black Pearl this is just the passage through the other way is blocked due to roadworks and we can't use the train as there are leaves on the track or wet snow.

Suddenly she moved a bookcase in one of the rooms and behind it was a secret passage follow me she said, he didn't really have a choice with her vice like bony grip on his wrist

 

[Mrs Depp]

and considering she was a boney girl she certainly had a strong grip! Jack could feel his wrist aching, her bony fingers gripped him even tighter when she caught sight of her arch nemesis - she shot down further into the depths of the Pearl...........

 

[CW Consultant]

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kate Moss, I've got the London Look she said.

So what said CB I've got Jack, with that they disappeared into a large great swirling mist.

 

[Mrs Depp]

The mist grew darker as they flew deeper into it. They could hear Kate's manic cackling fading into the distance behind them.

Corspe Bride turned to Jack and said "I know you were engaged to Kate for a long time but how could you put up with her bad teeth and witchy cackle for heaven's sake?!"

"Well, I never could resist the lure of a bony pair of legs luv", Jack replied.