MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
LOL -- GT,
Shaking to Zumba will certainly make those low riding trouser slide off.
SurfHunny -- I have been experiencing the same thing. I hear from most of my "so-called friends" when they need or want something from me -- not just to spend time and be with me. I feel as if I am only "included for numbers" or "am handy for goods and services". A lot of times, when I have done them a favour, they do not even say, "Thank you."
So, I have a book I am going to reread called, Don't say Yes, When You Really Mean No. (And in my case it should be Don't Yes, When You Should Say No -- because most of the time I am not bothered and don't necessarily mind doing it.
I used to be a big time volunteer. But, I learned, that the more I did: the worse I was treated. It was as if people did not respect you because you were willing to do so much without being paid for it.
Therefore, I have new policy: I will finish up what I have said I will do (because keeping my word is important to ME, so I am doing it for me). Then, if someone asks for a "favour", etc. I will do it ONLY if a) they've not been an ingrate in the past, and b) if I think they would do the same for me. That knocks a lot of people and things of my list. And c) if it does not come at the cost of my family or myself.
The exceptions being: if it is a true emergency or if some reason there is value added to deed. (An example of this would be to "watch" a friend of DD's even though the parent would never think to return the favour.)
I think that being overweight, etc. affects your self-esteem and you often end up a people pleaser. Which I was even when I was thin. I am working on being the kind of person, who pleases themselves and those that they love before even considering doing anything for the rest of mankind (or womankind).
SH -- You deserve the kind of friends that you are... so, value the ones that have been in contact and remember how the others behaved at this time... and should they contact you to be a "number" or for a favour, etc. Don't accept -- it isn't worth it.
MM
Shaking to Zumba will certainly make those low riding trouser slide off.
SurfHunny -- I have been experiencing the same thing. I hear from most of my "so-called friends" when they need or want something from me -- not just to spend time and be with me. I feel as if I am only "included for numbers" or "am handy for goods and services". A lot of times, when I have done them a favour, they do not even say, "Thank you."
So, I have a book I am going to reread called, Don't say Yes, When You Really Mean No. (And in my case it should be Don't Yes, When You Should Say No -- because most of the time I am not bothered and don't necessarily mind doing it.
I used to be a big time volunteer. But, I learned, that the more I did: the worse I was treated. It was as if people did not respect you because you were willing to do so much without being paid for it.
Therefore, I have new policy: I will finish up what I have said I will do (because keeping my word is important to ME, so I am doing it for me). Then, if someone asks for a "favour", etc. I will do it ONLY if a) they've not been an ingrate in the past, and b) if I think they would do the same for me. That knocks a lot of people and things of my list. And c) if it does not come at the cost of my family or myself.
The exceptions being: if it is a true emergency or if some reason there is value added to deed. (An example of this would be to "watch" a friend of DD's even though the parent would never think to return the favour.)
I think that being overweight, etc. affects your self-esteem and you often end up a people pleaser. Which I was even when I was thin. I am working on being the kind of person, who pleases themselves and those that they love before even considering doing anything for the rest of mankind (or womankind).
SH -- You deserve the kind of friends that you are... so, value the ones that have been in contact and remember how the others behaved at this time... and should they contact you to be a "number" or for a favour, etc. Don't accept -- it isn't worth it.
MM
