Just saw this on a FB Sw support group - hilarious!
Things only people who've joined slimming clubs will know.
1. You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. Even if it's -2 degrees outside you'll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your tits off.
2. You've considered weighing in wearing just a swimming costume.
3. There's always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.
4. You'll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.
5. There's always a Pauline in group who ate 8 sausage rolls at her cousin's funeral and put on 5 pounds in a week.
6. You will not eat a thing before weigh in. Even if weigh in is at 8pm.
7. You'll praise a Susan who maintained.
8. Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.
9. Group leader: "You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to.....but you won't be able to"
You: "I beg to fucking differ Linda".
11. There will always be one lone man called Peter in group who loses 9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap but you'll all secretly hate the bastard.
12. You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home....massive ****.
13. The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are "better than chip shop chips". This is bullshit Linda. Bullshit.
14. A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.
15. Linda is no skinny cow herself and doesn't follow the plan.
16. Syns/Points don't count if it's to help cure a hangover. They also don't count if you're eating them off another person's plate.