The Fat Beauty Diary - Start Weight 24st 1lbs // Goal Weight 15st ( 1 Stone Down )

[Fatbeautyx]

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time! Here to send back some of the tough love you once sent me, which worked! You can do it! I agree with Binky... have you cooked your favourite sw friendly meal? Red thai curry always brings it back for me at the moment! x

Thanks so much for sending me the love back <3 I'll take all the tough love I can get atm haha! I haven't cooked my fav sw friendly meal but I'm hoping dinner tonight will sort me out! <3 xx

 

[wafflewaffle]

Hello - I have just spent my lunch hour (ok I have been longer than that!) reading your entire diary and wow, what a rollercoaster - the first 23 pages were so up up and away and the last two pages have made me feel really sad that you are in this funk. Referring back to the early days of your diary, I want to applaud you for posting your underwear shots, such a brave and bold thing to do and something I could never do, I remember earlier this year in April I tried a bikini on and made my fiance take some shots of me in the hope that I would lose weight before our cruise this Christmas. I found it so humilating that I cried and he hugged me and he got all amorous and I was like "Really?!" - I had no idea that me looking fat in a bikini and feeling vulnerable would be such a turn on to him! I love the spirit of your writing and your total 100% openess and honesty, its so refreshing, its like a tonic - please don't give this up my lovely, you were doing so well before you went on holiday - how about you get some of that spirit back. I have tried and failed so many times, but I do keep trying hoping that one day it will stick. Your life sounds so incredibly busy, maybe you have too many fingers in too many pies, and that's good, but instead of the diet taking a back burner, why not try putting something else on the backburner instead? No one here expects you to post every day and go on diaries everyday, so just look at looking after you. You are doing this for your health and you need to stay healthy, otherwise you won't have the energy for anything. Life does tend to get in the way of things, so try to see if you can simplify your life a little. Clean out the ole closet so to speak. It will freshen you up. You are and have been an inspiration to me this afternoon and I hope I can follow you to your success. xxxxxxx p.s. I adore the dress from the very first photo, where did you get it from please?

Wow well said charley barley x

 

[wafflewaffle]

Just read your full diary, what a roller coaster! I hope you are ok & get back on the right headspace soon! U sound mega busy though don't forget to breathe xx

 

[Charleybarley]

I am so glad to hear you are feeling better, life can be tough sometimes and yes it gets in the way of our good intentions, but having a chance to reflect on the things that are making you down, and seeing what you can do about this is the first step. Do you know what I find keeps me focused? Planning and preparing my meals for the up coming week, figuring out whether I am going out, what I am going to have - I find lunchtimes at work can be difficult to organise. A salad alone doesn't always cut it and I am bored with them - so on Sunday I made a huge batch of soup and a huge batch of stew and this Sunday I am going to make a huge batch of Irish Stew and portion it off and keep some fresh for the week and some in the freezer. I really want to do it this time and your diary and the support of my mini-friends has given me a real boost this week.

I love Joe Brown stuff, but I never let myself buy it, it's like a tease to myself, but I won't let myself buy it until I get to the weight I want to be - which, like you is an unusually large weight to be target (for me its 14 stone) - until then I won't buy any Joe Brown stuff - it's stupid I know, but it's the aim.

By the way - I have a bone to pick with you, after I read your entire diary yesterday, I went onto your blog (I literally did no work yesterday afternoon!) and until yesterday I had no idea of the existence of ASOS Curve - you fiend, introducing me to deliciously gorgeous clothes for us bigger girls! And they are not Simply Be/ Fashion World/ Evans prices either - I am now stuck with tons of stuff in my basket and no money to pay for it!!!! There is specific could of dresses that I NEED -




And





I love your attitude with your body, I wished I could be so brave and unabashed. I was brought up in a very happy and loving home, but I was brought up to be ashamed of the way I looked and I still carry that attitude today. It's not as bad as it used to be but it has stopped me from doing things in life. A girl I used to work with who was big once surprised me by saying she wore a bikini and she was shocked that I never - she said "the way I see it is brown fat looks better than white fat!" so simple! I love that attitude and
I wished I could feel that way, I would just feel so ashamed and think that people were disgusted in me. I was talking to Mick (my fiance) about you last night, and said that you wore bikinis and does he think that I could get away with it and he said of course I should do it, he is a lovely man, and he likes a bit of meat on his ladies, but I am so scared of reactions of others (I know I shouldn't care, but I do) and feeling uncomfortable within myself. I am going to try a bikini on when I get in tonight and see - you have inspired me!

It's probably a strange thing to say but we have a very similar build, when I saw your underwear pics I thought immediately that that's how I look, frame wise. I have problems with bras, do you? I am a big back but I have a small cup, totally the other way to most people, although your bust looks bigger than mine - honestly I haven't been perving over your pics hun! I just thought it amazing that I felt like that's similar to how I look in my undies - strange.

 

[Fatbeautyx]

Love your name Thanks so much for reading through! It's actually ALL of you guys who I owe the thankyou too. You may think that I'm inspiring you by just talking about my journey but I can assure you ALL, Its each and everyone of YOU that are inspiring me. Inspiring me to keep on track, keep on writing about it all, helping me work through the ups and downs of my journey. I can only hope you guys have got your own thread and you all are experiencing people commenting and gee'ing you on and telling you that you inspire them because I tell you what It certainly makes me want to write more on here, It makes me want to kick butt with my meals and keep on track and carry on being having a thread you all enjoy coming to read to get inspiration from. Not sure if that makes me big headed but.. wel.. at least its honest and at the moment I'll take all the motivation I can get

LOVE YOU GUYS x

 

[Fatbeautyx]

Afternoon lovely. LOVE your messages They are making me smile atm! Like I said in the above message ^ There is nothing quite like hearing you are inspiring others to help inspire yourself. It's bringing me out of my funk so thank you for taking the time both you and waffle, to read my little thread and comment Means the world having you here!

I definately need to put SW first and myself first. My work is my bread and butter and my blog that i do also brings in income not to mention alot of happiness so its a case of using my free time better and not putting pressure on myself with all of it. When I've been in the zone planning meals hasn't been a problem but with everything thats going on with James its thrown my appetite so it's made it very hard. The rest of the week should be a little easier as I've done my full days so the rest are all split shifts or days off. I've spent all morning cooking minestrone soup and taking a stab at making my own scotch eggs I'll post a bit later this evening with pics and results of my WI but I know I've done alot of excercise and I've been good. I dont know if this makes sense but instead of cheating or scoffing food in my mouth, I've been taking the hit mentally? So it might not show on the scales I've had a bad week but It's certainly showing in my mood, In my want to socialise and be around people etc..

The soup looks and tastes amazing so I plan on living off that and cripsbread with dairylee and I think I'm going to take a stab at the eggfried rice stirfry something or other Think it will be good to stay away from bread and pasta this week, just a few potatoes in the soup and the odd packet of snackerjacks etc.

Joe brown stuff is ok, I love the bits I got sent. One of the lovely perks of being a fashion blogger. I'm very very lucky
Both those bits look GORGEOUS and dear god don't look at my wishlists haha. I'm always updating the " shop my style " page with new trends and items I like and I've done so well not to buy anything since I got paid and its so so so so hard haha. Evans have 25% off today and I'm like.. STEP AWAYYYYYY FROM THE SCARLETT AND JO! haha.

I don't think its stupid at all to not want to buy stuff till you have reached size. I certainly have moments where I'm like.. This is going to be too big for me soon but I'll just sell them on and make a couple quid and use that to go towards the next item There are LOADS of places you can buy clothes depending on your size and style. Newlook Inspire are my gods, then asos curve and simplybe. I have a new post going up on when I went to the Simple Be store in London so you'll have to keep an eye out for that :x They have some AMAZING bits atm!

It's not strange you've been perving over my pics ( and I know you have now ) I think its nice to know there are others on here that are my size and are going through the motions to lose weight etc.

NOW.. onto my fav part of replying back to this. SELF LOVE. It's taken me a HELL of a long time to love the skin I'm in, even now I still struggle at times. I've grown up thinking being fat isn't pretty and thats a hard lesson to unteach yourself but my body is my temple and I love it. I do feel better with a tan haha, Your friend was right. Brown flab does look better than white flab. For me, I was brought up thinking I could wear a nice clean black cosi and that would flatter my figure more making me look slimmer. Well when you weigh 22 odd stone there is only so much black is going to do for me ya know what I'm saying? I'm fat. I'm FAT. It's a fact. Granted I could wearing something black and appear slimmer or I could wear something garish and it wont help flatter my body type, Either way, I'm going to look fat because I am fat. So I learned to embrace it all. I'm still going to have a tummy sticking out in a bodycon dress and I'm still gonna have a tummy to one that hangs. Clothes do help don't get me wrong but at the end of the day they don't do miracles. I wanted to wear a bikini and I did. I basically went topless and just wore highwasted pants at the beach and without being too harsh, I couldnt give a monkeys what anyone thought. Who are they to me? My flab doesnt define me. It dawned on me that I'm not fat, I just HAVE fat. I can wear whatever I want. Plus it helps I have lovely people telling me I look nice all the time So I'd like to think I'm doing something right. haha

Learning to love yourself isn't easy but in the mean time, Me and your boyfriend can Love you and your gorgeous body until you feel you can xxx

I am so glad to hear you are feeling better, life can be tough sometimes and yes it gets in the way of our good intentions, but having a chance to reflect on the things that are making you down, and seeing what you can do about this is the first step. Do you know what I find keeps me focused? Planning and preparing my meals for the up coming week, figuring out whether I am going out, what I am going to have - I find lunchtimes at work can be difficult to organise. A salad alone doesn't always cut it and I am bored with them - so on Sunday I made a huge batch of soup and a huge batch of stew and this Sunday I am going to make a huge batch of Irish Stew and portion it off and keep some fresh for the week and some in the freezer. I really want to do it this time and your diary and the support of my mini-friends has given me a real boost this week.

I love Joe Brown stuff, but I never let myself buy it, it's like a tease to myself, but I won't let myself buy it until I get to the weight I want to be - which, like you is an unusually large weight to be target (for me its 14 stone) - until then I won't buy any Joe Brown stuff - it's stupid I know, but it's the aim.

By the way - I have a bone to pick with you, after I read your entire diary yesterday, I went onto your blog (I literally did no work yesterday afternoon!) and until yesterday I had no idea of the existence of ASOS Curve - you fiend, introducing me to deliciously gorgeous clothes for us bigger girls! And they are not Simply Be/ Fashion World/ Evans prices either - I am now stuck with tons of stuff in my basket and no money to pay for it!!!! There is specific could of dresses that I NEED -


View attachment 154389

And

View attachment 154390



I love your attitude with your body, I wished I could be so brave and unabashed. I was brought up in a very happy and loving home, but I was brought up to be ashamed of the way I looked and I still carry that attitude today. It's not as bad as it used to be but it has stopped me from doing things in life. A girl I used to work with who was big once surprised me by saying she wore a bikini and she was shocked that I never - she said "the way I see it is brown fat looks better than white fat!" so simple! I love that attitude and
I wished I could feel that way, I would just feel so ashamed and think that people were disgusted in me. I was talking to Mick (my fiance) about you last night, and said that you wore bikinis and does he think that I could get away with it and he said of course I should do it, he is a lovely man, and he likes a bit of meat on his ladies, but I am so scared of reactions of others (I know I shouldn't care, but I do) and feeling uncomfortable within myself. I am going to try a bikini on when I get in tonight and see - you have inspired me!

It's probably a strange thing to say but we have a very similar build, when I saw your underwear pics I thought immediately that that's how I look, frame wise. I have problems with bras, do you? I am a big back but I have a small cup, totally the other way to most people, although your bust looks bigger than mine - honestly I haven't been perving over your pics hun! I just thought it amazing that I felt like that's similar to how I look in my undies - strange.

 

[Fatbeautyx]

Weigh in today! I'm feeing good. I've spendt most of my day doing house work and cooking some minestrone soup and my own scotch eggs. The soups is Syn Free and the scotch eggs worked out at 4 and a half syns each but I'm sure I can make them less. I used the WW pack of 8 which is 55cals per sausage so 55*8 =440 /20(20cals to 1 syn) = 22 and I used 5 eggs so /5 = 4.4 so If I tried to get 7 out of them I'm looking at 3.1 syns so may need to work on that but I'm gonna take them to my class at 7 as its taster evening so fingers crossed they come out ok

I've got a fat headache and lots else to do so wish me luck tonight at WI!

 

[BinkyBonk]

Weigh in today! I'm feeing good. I've spendt most of my day doing house work and cooking some minestrone soup and my own scotch eggs. The soups is Syn Free and the scotch eggs worked out at 4 and a half syns each but I'm sure I can make them less. I used the WW pack of 8 which is 55cals per sausage so 55*8 =440 /20(20cals to 1 syn) = 22 and I used 5 eggs so /5 = 4.4 so If I tried to get 7 out of them I'm looking at 3.1 syns so may need to work on that but I'm gonna take them to my class at 7 as its taster evening so fingers crossed they come out ok I've got a fat headache and lots else to do so wish me luck tonight at WI!

Good luck my lovely, I hope you have a nice evening and am sure your scotch eggs will be yummy, post a picture if you can

 

[goose]

Good luck for weigh in tonight x

 

[Charleybarley]

Good luck my lovely. Thank you for the wonderful response, I don't have time to write at the moment - people expecting me to work when I am at work, its so unfair! I will respond fully later.

I have everything crossed for you for WI. xxxxxxxx

 

[thelifeofpieface]

Good luck at weigh in! Xxx

 

[strawberry]

Good luck for wi x

 

[Fatbeautyx]

Thankyou for all the luck this evening! My I went over to my Dads place as me, him and his GF Nicola usually go to SW together and she was taking some pictures of me in some outfits for my blog and she told me she was going out tonight so was going to the earlier WI tonight so I decided to join her which gives me more of an evening off and...*drumroll* 4 and a half lbs off ! WOOOOOOO!!!!!



Weighing in at 22stone 7lbs I'm now officially over 1 and a half stone lighter now! I got my 1 and a half certificate and left feeling pretty damn good with myself. In a way I'm a bit gutted I didn't get to go to my normal one and sit for the chat as I think I could of done with a chinwag with everyone in the meeting today. Everyone would assume I had a great week based on the results but mentally its been brutal.

SOOOO I promised some pics of my food and oh my god. AMAZING. I made my Syn Free Minestrone soup & the Scotch Eggs which were AMAZING. If I had a muffin roll It could of easily passed for a McDonalds Egg Mcmuffin!!!! The scotch eggs work out as 4 and a half syns each so next port of call is to get my hands on some of these linda whoever sausages that are less syns so I can make the scotch eggs even less. Really looking forward to taking them to work with some ham and riveta crackerbread and dairylee tomorrow.

 

[BinkyBonk]

Those scotch eggs look amazing!!!! X x

Well done on the loss and award

 

[thelifeofpieface]

Wow brilliant loss well done chick! Xx

 

[wafflewaffle]

Excellent loss! Well jealous! I didn't lose any this week boo you said about followers spuring me on and the answer is no not really only the lovely blondcat no one else really comments on my diary it makes me a bit sad but maybe I am just boring lol xx

 

[strawberry]

Well done honey x

 

[Texty_F]

Well done Lucie brilliant loss hun - doesnt matter how you did it girl credit where credit is due. I know youve had a rubbish week ((hugs)) and well done on your awards xx

 

[Texty_F]

Excellent loss! Well jealous! I didn't lose any this week boo you said about followers spuring me on and the answer is no not really only the lovely blondcat no one else really comments on my diary it makes me a bit sad but maybe I am just boring lol xx

Hi hun - you could try putting a link to your diary in your signature, and then people could click on it and follow, lots of people dont realise others actually have diaries, and there are others who post that dont have one.

Im sure your far from boring x

 

[NewMe14]

Hi Lucie, just catching up. many congrats on your loss. 4lbs is fantastic you must be chuffed. Your scotch eggs look yummy too xx