The fat is back

[fat in the jing]

It's 9pm, day 4. I think that it's been a pretty good day. Not sure if I'm in Ketosis as I'm still feeling quite hungry and I had a few moments of dizziness today. I've been very thirsty all day and my teeth feel coated, as if I have had lots of sugary drinks and sweets. Have drank loads of water and even felt like I was going to explode at one point!

I am so determined to get this sorted out now whilst Eiriana is still very young. If I can get to a 'normal' weight, I know that I will feel so much healthier and a better role model for my beautiful daughter. I fear so many things since she arrived, things that I never thought twice about before, and being there for her, healthy and not a burden is so important for me.

Am feeling pretty tired so had better get a good nights sleep.

ni' night!

 

[fat in the jing]

What day am I on? 5 I think! Haver had a very, very busy day at work. Usually on such days I would get in through the door and head straight for the fridge....but I've changed!

Am not feeling so hungry today, have a headache but I think that may be more to do with sitting in Beijing traffic for about 1.5 hours....oh to be home in the Welsh countryside where there are only sheep to cause traffic congestion!

Need to rest, so have my veggie soup (I am really digging the soups, so much more than the shakes), and am gonna skype my mammy and daddy and see how they are doing (both are back to normal, btw, after the high blood pressure scare. Really shook them up so they've been walking lots, eating much more healthily and drinking lots of pu'er tea.)

3 more days to weigh-in (although I have been nipping on the scales every time I go to the bathroom....which is often!) but I won't believe the actually end result til Saturday Morning!

 

[fat in the jing]

At home in Wales!

I had a call early Thursday morning to say that my Nan had passed away, so I am currently in Wales to say farewell. I have always been very close to Nanny and will miss her dearly. She would have been 89 years old this October, so she had a long life, with no big problems. She went peacefully in her sleep which is always a blessing.

I had problems on the flight over, didn't come prepared enough and was unable to make any shakes. I ate a few slices of beef and a little bit of ham from my daughters plane food. I was dreading telling Mam and Dad about CD but they have been surprisingly positive which I am very happy about. Haven't been able to weigh, am gonna keep that until I go back, but I know that I've lost, my clothes are all very loose on me, so much so that my daughter pulled my jeans down in the other day!

Anyway, I won't be on too much these days, I will be catching up with my diary when I head back to BJ.

 

[fat in the jing]

Back in the Jing

Well I'm back in Beijing, arrived at lunchtime today. Am feeling incredibly tired this evening but very happy to see hubby!

Got on the scales to weigh as soon as I got through the door, am down to 100.4 KGS. Am actually a little disappointed as when I left I had sneakily weighed and I was 102.something. That means that in two weeks I've lost just 2KGS. :cry: I have had food a couple of times over the past 2 weeks. Twice whilst travelling on the plane, once whilst at Nanny's funeral wake and once whilst at my Dad's birthday party. I have tried to keep every meal protein rich and have made very concious choices to stop before I feel full. I did eat bread yesterday as the wait at my transfer airport was too much to take with a young toddler and I'm wondering if this is bulking me up. I will start back 100% tomorrow and will hopefully see better results over the next week.

 

[fat in the jing]

Am feeling a little sad this evening, I am exhausted as my darling girl is refusing to get over Jet Lag, but I had to go back to work today, a very busy day as I have been out for more than two weeks.
Lots of people paid compliments today, saying that I looked nice, did I have different make-up, a couple actually noticed that the difference was some weight off, which always makes me feel good!
I know that it's gonna take another couple of stone before people really start noticing, but I know that I'm gonna get there soon!

Whilst I was home, my sis-in-law gave me a pir of size 20 jeans. I looked at them in dismay, I've been a 24 for the past 5 years! But decided to give them a try all the same....woooohooohooohooo! They fitted, not only fitted but were a little large, she also gave me 2 pairs of black trousers which, I must admit are a little tight on the crotch, but a long shirt will cover that! I decided to try some clothes on when I got home and wooohooohooohooo, lots of clothes were much, much too big, and those that were banished to the back of my wardrobe were brought out to air...me...a size 20, look out 12, we'll see you soon!
My dream? To go January Sale shopping at Next when I'm home at Christmas!
Oh well, I've cheered meself up with this post, so I shall now trot happily off to my bed!


By the way, can anyone tell me why I can't get my profile pic to upload?

 

[Dis]

hiya paula, im happy that i am keeping you ammused AND inspired at the same time. and you hit the nail right on the head with the WI issue...the thought process alone is what frightens me most: its dangerous, the mind games we play on ourselves!

on another note, sorry to hear that your little one isnt doing so well with the jet lag. and im a little confused...where is "home"? i see it says location beijing, but where are ya from? ((im a nosey gal, i know))

also, well done for trying on the size 20's even with skepticism! paid off!!! its amazing trying on old clothes or smaller sizes isnt it?? ive also been a ((US)) 22/24, depending where i bought from. so far, i've bought a pair of UK size 20 trousers and a UK 16 skirt. it feels great, doesnt it? just you wait til we can fit into 12/14's!! woot wooot!

keep up the work luvie!

 

[fat in the jing]

Another great day today with people telling me that I had lost loads of weight....feels good, I must admit!

Very, very cold though, I know that the weather is changing here in BJ, but I've got my granny thermal vest on and I'm still shivering!

Am feeling pretty sprightly today, not too sleepy as Eiriana went to bed at a decent hour last night and slept through and has gone to bed even earlier tonight, so I get some interrupted 'me' time! Have just started an online Diploma and this would be the ideal time to get some reading done, but shall have a look to see if there are any good movies on HBO first! Dedication

I must say, I very rarely cook, I enjoy cooking but very rarely get the time. Hubby is usually the chef in our house, but since I've been doing CD, I've done so much more cooking. I think the feeling of not giving in to temptation really gives me a kick - sadistic as that may sound!

Anyhows, off to check out what's on the teledu.

 

[Dis]

hiya paula! hope you are doing well.
seems you are in high spirits! its always nice when others notice, isnt it?!? its worth so much, mentally.

i just replied loads to your post in my diary and i havent got too much time at the moment to say much here besides:
hello!
and Bore Da! (well, its bed time for fynn, not me.)
but i'm probably going to be away from minimins for the night.
i think since hubby is out playing footie this evening, i'm going to have some of the ::mommie time:: that we sometimes get.

whats on the telly...? hmmmm

anyways, you take care and i'll chat with ya soon! hope the week is going well for you!
hwyl! Bore Da!

 

[fat in the jing]

A month on CD and 1.5 stones gone!

Have been on CD for a month today and have lost....drum roll....11.1kgs or 1 stone 7 pounds. Am extremely happy and really know that the next couple of months 'til Christmas are gonna be a breeze!

Had a Sports Day at school today, had to end early 'cos of the rain though which was pretty disappointing as there was a great turnout and everyone was really raring to go! Spent a very relaxing afternoon at the SPA getting pampered with a facial and full body exfoilation.....mmmmm!!!!

Have been feeling very proud of myself for sitting at the dinner table with hubby and daughter when they eat dinner...the hardest was my favourite aubergine with minced meat!!! The smell nearly killed me but the feeling of control afterwards was very, very sweet!!! What do I miss the most? Definately my hubby's cooking! He actually cooks really healthy foods. Before we met I used to dance quite a lot, don't get me wrong, I've never been a slim girl, always about 12-13 stone, a size 16/18...14 at a push! But after we met, I stopped dancing so much. I also used to drink quite a lot, binge drink, every weekend. And when I moved jobs, I became much less active, I snacked on biscuits covered in jam, cheese and crackers and chocolate chip cookies all day long. I piled my lunch plate up and often went back for seconds. This whole combination saw me balloon to a size 24/26 and 115 kgs 18+ stone. When I became pregnant, I didn't put loads of weight on but still went up to 123 kgs 19st 3 lbs. I naturally lost some weight with the help of breastfeeding and last January was 117kgs. I decided then and there that I needed to do something about my size. I've suffered with chronic back pain for a couple of years and I knew that the major problem was my weight. I did a couple of diets, healthy eating, cutting out carbs and by June had got down to 113kgs 17st 7lbs. Then I saw an ad to lose weight using massage and acupressure. I signed up for 20 sessions...ooh how I wish I'd tried before I buy(ed)!!! I have never been in so much pain! Even 26 hours of labour and childbirth was better than that! But I stuck out 20 sessions, throwing up from the pain in many sessions, serious bruising all over my torso, but I really did feel a difference. After 20 sessions, I lost 5kgs. I went travelling over the summer, and when I came back met up with Kay, one of our newly recruited teachers. She told me about Lighter Life. When I discovered I couldn't get a hold of any LL here in China, I searched high and low for Cambridge.

This morning hubby held me so tight, he told me that he had never really noticed me piling on the weight but he can really see me losing it! He's so very supportive and I know that he has always and will alwyas love me, but he can also feel how happy I am and how much more energy I have....it's all great


Anyway, a rather long and boring post...sorry, but it's great for me to get it off my chest!

 

[Delli]

its far from boring paula, i ejoy reading about peoples journeys through cambridge etc. good luck with urs, ill b sure to check in with ur diary every now and again.

 

[Dis]

WOW Paula!! you sound soooo happy with yourself & just with life in general these days!! i'm so made up for you!

its a great feeling when you can resist foods while on CD...i hope that will power and strength stays with you through out your trials & tribulations on CD!

i really enjoyed reading your last post...so much is the same for me...i was smaller when i met hubby, dancing every week, drinking, etc. seemed to have danced and walked away the calories. but then, we got married, comfort sets in, yadda yadda yadda...you know the drill. and even when i got pregnant last year, i didnt put on much weight at all. lucky for you, breastfeeding helped...did nothing for me! waaaa. wel, i suppose me going on total boredom and binge eating modr didnt help! hhaaa. my fault, i know.

ahh but here we are now, sorting it all out. my relationship with hubby gets better ad better as i get healthier and healthier. i think its on both ends really...like for me, im happier, more confident, etc. and im sure he's enjoying seeing me happy as well as changing my appearance.
overall, im just pleased that i'll have a healthier, longer life with my child/future children. ahhh...


oh oh oh i've gone on so long here.
again, well done on the loss so far and the happiness you seem to be glowing with these days!!

((ive been meaning to ask: you dont have a CDC, so what day to you "officially" count as weigh-in-day?))
its the same for me really. i do have a CDC, but i weigh myself, counting it every monday. i meet with her every fortnight to get packets and have a quick chat. she's lovely and everything, but she covers what seems like all of northern wales! lol so i opt to rely on Minimins for most of the support...))

omg, didnt i just say i had been typing on and on for too long.??? ok im really ending it here.
you take care and we'll catch up soon.
p.s. i also have the occasional issue with having the runs since being on cd. i thought i was the only one, as most seem to have the opposite problem. heheheh

 

[fat in the jing]

Bloody, bloody cold!

I haven't been here for a while, have been keeping low this week as totm and feeling particularly sore/tired/grumpy and freezing, freezing cold!

I'm sat here with layers of clothes and a huge quilt and I'm still shivering! Really hope that I'm not coming down with something.

Actually, the beginning of the week was pretty OK. As well as my regular job, I'm an agony aunt (I know - cheesy!!!!) and occassional columnistfor Parents magazine. Well, they interviewed me on Monday for an article and I haven't seen the editor for well over a year, the fuss she made because of the weight that I had lost and the amount of pins they had to put into my shirt when they took photos was enough to make any CD'er glow with pride. A sneaky look at the photos after made me feel pretty good too as I could really see a big difference compared to the last lot of photos taken of me. I guess when you see yourself in the mirror everyday, you don't really notice the difference, but when you see two photos side by side, that really gives you a boost!

I still have a really long way to go and even contemplated giving in to feeling sorry for myself today and eating, but coming on here really gives me a boost, mental note 'do not leave it so long before visiting Minimins again!'

 

[Dis]

hiya paula!
sorry to hear you've been feeling low lately. physically, i mean! and i hope you arent coming down with a cold as well!

however, i have to say that i luv the happy Tiffany Earring story you posted on my diary. its the little things that help make CD/SS motivating.

plus! the photos you had to take for parents mag...i bet you were so made up with yourself seeing the difference!

ahhh, i dont want to sound like a tesco commercial, but:
every little counts.
hehhehe

 

[Mini]

Hi Paula,

I haven't been here for a while, have been keeping low this week as totm and feeling particularly sore/tired/grumpy and freezing, freezing cold!

I'm sat here with layers of clothes and a huge quilt and I'm still shivering! Really hope that I'm not coming down with something.

At times we can feel all of the above and not necessarily because we are on a diet.

Could be your coming down with a cold, but more lightly it is to do with totm.

Actually, the beginning of the week was pretty OK. As well as my regular job, I'm an agony aunt (I know - cheesy!!!!) and occassional columnistfor Parents magazine.

I am very impressed your an agony aunt as I am sure you help so many people with good advice and caring as I seen that already in your posts.

the fuss she made because of the weight that I had lost and the amount of pins they had to put into my shirt when they took photos was enough to make any CD'er glow with pride

It is lovely when others can see the difference as it does give a little lift on this diet journey.

I could really see a big difference compared to the last lot of photos taken of me. I guess when you see yourself in the mirror everyday, you don't really notice the difference, but when you see two photos side by side, that really gives you a boost!

I think photos as you lose weight on this diet are essential along with body measurements as you lose weight so quickly that the brain can't keep up with the change and looking in the mirror it is very difficult to see it ourselves.

But as you say when you put two photos side by side the difference becomes very evident!

I still have a really long way to go and even contemplated giving in to feeling sorry for myself today and eating, but coming on here really gives me a boost, mental note 'do not leave it so long before visiting Minimins again!'

Again...we all have our days when we feel sorry for ourselves and are tempted to go back to old ways of comforting ourselves with food, it is at these times we can learn the most about ourselves if we can manage to stand back and look and give the nurturing we need in other ways...one is to ask for help and support and to share how your feeling instead of bottling it up inside as most comfort eaters tend to do.

Reading your lovely post to Dis this morning brought a smile to my face.

This morning I put on a pair of Tiffany earrings that I bought a while back but had never worn 'cos my face was just too fat...hubby asked sharply 'who bought you those?' 'I bought them myself, why?' I replied, 'Because..' he says wrapping his arms around me..'You're turning into such a sexy lady that I know I need to keep a tighter reign on you!' So I lied earlier, I did have a big grin on my face then, so you've made me smile for the second time today!

I think I would if I were you cut this quote above out and put it near to me and take it out and read it anytime I felt down as you have one in a million there

Love Mini xxx

 

[fat in the jing]

Have just had my weekly weigh in and I have lost 1.2 kgs this week (2.5 lbs) which I am pretty happy with as TOTM. Have been feeling very yucky all week and very, very cold. One of the downfalls of living in Beijing is that the heating goes on only when the government says it can go on. That is likely to be the middle of next month and with an average of about 10C every day, it's a little bit chilly!!!!!

Have a plan of action for today, I really need to get my bum in gear and get some work done, so hubby is gonna get Eiriana all wrapped up and take her to the playground so that I get some peace to get my reading done. SHALL NOT STRAY TO MINIMINS OR FACEBOOK...SHALL NOT STRAY TO MINIMINS OR FACEBOOK...SHALL NOT STRAY TO MINIMINS OR FACEBOOK...!!!!!

Happy Saturday to all you minimins out there....hope you have a deliciously fantastic day!

 

[fat in the jing]

Just 6 kilos to ho before I'm no longer clinically obese -just overweight!

I know I'm not supposed to be on here, but have been reading all morning and am having my lunch (soup) break, so I can spend 10 minutes here! Can I get 6 kilos off by the end of my second month? I oh so hope so! I want to enter my 33rd year with a BMI of 29 or less. Fingers Crossed!

 

[fat in the jing]

A message for Mini

Hi, Mini,
I have been looking all over for your diary, but cannot find. I just wanted to say Thank You for the lovely words of support and encouragement, they really mean a lot. I think one thing that all of us have some trouble with is admitting that we are sometimes not strong enough, that we sometimes need a little bit of help...well I know that I'm certainly one of those people! I have this idea in my head that if I ask someone for help, if I admit that I'm feeling low/having difficulty, others will tut-tut and say 'see, I knew she wouldn't be able to do it'. Typing this now though has made me think about the absurdness of that thought; has made me think of the excellent friends that I have, and, as you mentioned the most wonderful husband in this world (for me at least anyhows!!!!)

The anonymity provided by Minimins, however, still provides the most comforting security to my mixed-up/crazy/deepest thoughts!


Thank You!!!

 

[LisaL]

Why not? Anything is possible! Go for it!

 

[Dis]

Just 6 kilos to ho before I'm no longer clinically obese -just overweight!

I know I'm not supposed to be on here, but have been reading all morning and am having my lunch (soup) break, so I can spend 10 minutes here! Can I get 6 kilos off by the end of my second month? I oh so hope so! I want to enter my 33rd year with a BMI of 29 or less. Fingers Crossed!

Well Done, Paula!!!
i'm so made up for you, managing 2.5lbs even suffering all the discomforts and bloating of totm. woohoo!!!

my WI is monday and conveniently, i can feel the bloating/cramping sneaking up on me. waaaa :cry: oh well. way it goes, eh?

Its a good feeling to know when you've moved down into the next safest bracket on the bmi scale. i dont knw where i stand on it at the moment, but you 've inspired me to have a peek!

again, well done!!! here's to a great week luv~!

chat with you soon. i'm off to play on facebook. hehehe ((i. am. addicted.))

 

[fat in the jing]

My poor baby girl has such a bad girl. I just don't know what to do for her, eyes are straeming, soaked with swet, tickly cough and constant drip. Feeling very guilty as I banished her and hubby to the great outdoors for the whole day as I needed to catch up on some work, but she came a snivelling wreck!:cry:

Not expecting a great nights sleep, I have the Olbas Oil ready and I've dosed her up on Orange Juice and garlic! I made pancakes for dinner (hubby wants me to give up my day job and open a pancake shop! he ate 7 big pancakes with a big plateful of stir-fried cabbage and ham! The guys only 50kgs for goodness sake....is that what you would call fair?) Well hubby makes garlic juice to dip his pancakes in (it's actually really delicious!) and she had a little drink of that! Poor me, the whole house stinks of garlic and I'm the only one who didn't eat it! Nevermind, it works very well and I hope that she's able to get better soon.