The First Diary of Trudy C age 40 something!

If Trudy's anything like me, even if I've prepared healthy food (as I had yesterday), I simply ignored it, packaged it up carefully and it is now today's food... and I too ate pure rubbish yesterday. I also admit to having waited for OH to be out of earshot to consume even more food, and then I hid or burnt the wrappers (we lit a fire as it was so chilly yesterday!).
x
 
Trudy, you are very brave, not only to admit a binge but to list the food too. as our friends have said T you are not on your own we wouldn't be here otherwise.

Mine is always always sugar! I try not to have it in the house but when I'm in that mood nothing stops me.

Take care love & have a good day with your lovely Ben XXX
 
Oh Maintainer we are cut from the very same cloth me thinks!!! Yesterday was 'okay', very early start (5am) and I did make my porridge to take with me and very glad that I did - ate it when I arrived and it kept me going till lunch which was eggs and ham with salad. On the judges table there was cakes, biscuits, fruit and crisps but I was able to ignore it all for the whole day.... Show started at 9am and I judged the last class at 7pm - we have 30 mins for lunch and by the end of the day I was so sore from standing for such a long time!!! Journey home took 2 hrs and I made it to the pub having rung ahead and ordered a brown bread sandwich with cheese and ham, no butter - when I arrived out came a sandwich on white bread with butter and crisps - did I send it back??? Oh no I ate it and then polished off a piece of cheesecake!!!! Dear oh dear but the positive was that I didn't go home and binge after!!!! LOL! Got up at 7am and made the gym for 8am - good workout to start the day and then met up with Ben's childminder for breakfast at a Beefeater...... was lovely and they had great Dukan food!
OA meeting tonight but Ben and I off to the cinema before that to see Epic in 3D! Weighed this morning - weight the same as last weigh in which is not terrible but not good either!!! LOL!
Menus for yesterday:-
B - hearty porridge
L - ham/egg/salad
D - sandwich/cheesecake/ muffins (double oatbran for the day but better than a binge still!)
Today has started with
B - egg/bacon all fat removed/ mushroom and tomato/ yoghurt - they had Yeo 0 fat natural - well done them!!!
Not sure what I am gonna have for the rest of the day!!! Was nice yesterday that friends thought I had lost weight since they last saw me - actually it's just toning from the gym but hey ho that works for me too! LOL!
 
Maintainer said:
If Trudy's anything like me, even if I've prepared healthy food (as I had yesterday), I simply ignored it, packaged it up carefully and it is now today's food... and I too ate pure rubbish yesterday. I also admit to having waited for OH to be out of earshot to consume even more food, and then I hid or burnt the wrappers (we lit a fire as it was so chilly yesterday!).
x
Click to expand...

And there in lies my problem too..................Secret Eating!!!!!!

I have on a few occasions sneaked something into my cardigan pocket to take upstairs and eat whilst in bed reading my book. I have stood in the kitchen quietly eating the last cake. When I still lived at home I used to buy prawn crackers from the local Chinese and eat them in my room. Why we feel the need to hide it is beyond me, although I do understand that part of it is because we don't want to admit to eating too much....and not sharing it LOL.
 
Hmmmm not a good end to the day - managed the cinema with my diet coke and then all went to pot - we headed to chinese buffet and then it was over - finished off the day with a tub of ice cream which I melted in the microwave - ate the biscuit bits out of it and poured the rest down the sink!!! V bloated this am - had my porridge and so it starts again!!!! GRRRRR !
 
Ooh Trudy, the battle continues. I suppose some days are good and some bad. Why is it that even after a great food day, when you feel good for not having binged and you feel as though you're on the right track and you'll never binge again since it makes you feel kak afterwards, why is it that even then we manage to binge??? On the bright side, at least we're not addicted to crack or something vile like that :D
 
Its that mind set isn't it. Nothing and no one can change what our brains do and don't want to do. We know we want to be good but our brains tell our hands to pick it up and eat it...........and then when we do, half an hour later its total guilt trip.

Trudi, its easy to say don't worry about it, you know thou that its hard to do, so all I'll say is (((HUGS)))
 
To say a Chinese 'all you can eat' buffet wasn't the wisest choice of eatery for after the cinema is stating the obvious, but I guess that's exactly why you chose it (maybe subconsciously). Did you make it to your OA meeting last night? As Cheese says, at least it's not heroin you're addicted to. You need to be super-determined, and have help, to crack this behaviour pattern, Trudy. Much love, Sara xxx
 
The issue with our addiction is we can't just give it up. We have to feed our addiction on a daily basis to survive. We can't just stop eating.

I can feel the struggle, Trudy and I am struggling along with you. Trying each day and not quite getting there. I wish I had some magic words of wisdom, but all I can say is, I am here, we all are and I am so glad you are posting. Coming here an sharing whats going on feels like the best thing to do, as if you keep it to yourself, you might find more foods sneaking in too.

Keep posting and keep trying. Half a good day is better than an entire day binging. Xxx
 
feeling your pain, Trudy... (ingenuous idea with the ice cream!!!)
To be honest, I prefer reading that you've been out and about and had some fun and ended the day on a sour note (because that can be easily rectified by next time organising a better location for dinner with your friends) than reading that you're going back onto Dukan. The false sense of security that ketosis gives us doesn't really help in the long run. It helps with the weight issues but not the eating issues. This is me talking to myself again of course as the pull back to Dukan after my holiday will be strong. At least to lose the weight and then sort out the rest of the head stuff - but does it ever happen?! I'll probably be eating my words in 2 weeks' time proudly announcing that I'm back in the zone on Dukan! :D

Hang in there Trudy... you're a real fighter!
 
oh my lovely friend I ask myself WHY we do it to ourselves it takes a lot of guts to admit what your going through. Its so hard I'm struggling again, just wish I could step in my stupid head and sort myself out once and for all! So my girl always remember your not on your own ........ sending a massive hug XXX
 
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TrOOOOOOOOdy! :D Popped in just to see how you are!
 
Oh gals a blimmin disaster - start each day with v good intentions and then something comes along which I then use as an excuse to blow it!!! Gym still ticking over and everything else okay - just this blimmin diet - see the tummy surgeon on Tuesday - he is going to be very disappointed in me!!! Think that may be adding to my self destruct button!!! Porridge consumed today and good day planned complete with fridge full of good food!
 
Aw hunni, don't know what else to say, you know the diet works but obv your head is just not in the game right now. maybe a little break from thinking about it might be an idea. come back to it after you see the surgeon and renew your determination to lose then. xx
 
I'm okay gals, still not eating right but thinking about it alot!!! LOL - have a humdinger hangover today which is not helping my good intentions - gonna drag myself to the gym later now they have shown me where the key is!!! No Ben tonight so a night in watching BGT and an early night as v tired - driving to work at 6.30 this morning was not the best though the views over the mountains was amazing! Got back to a surprise - one of the mares foaled two and a half weeks early - foal is tiny tiny but seems fine - mare v sore - vet on the way to give her the once over - bless her she seems to have taken to it very well despite being on her own! Mind you it is as nature intended!!! Will read your diaries later gals. xxxxx
 
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