Wow, Beck day 36... can't believe I'm on to the last week!
This is a really appropriate one for me, titled 'Believe it'.
Hmm, the story it tells is of someone who didn't really believe they could, or had lost the weight. This is the bit I struggle most with, when I look down, I still see a fat person, part of me still imagines that whey I go back to food, it will all just magically reappear. When I look at clothes that actually fit, I still think they will be too small... this believing I've actually come this far, and can not only lose all the weight I want to, but actually keep it off I'm finding hard to really hold on to / believe / accept. I guess I've had 23 years of seeing / believing / accepting that I'm a fat person, and I need to really work on this day's tasks and getting it to sink in.
OK, so this is what I need to get into my head.
BELIEVE IT!
I AM LOSING WEIGHT, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO AND I WORK HARD AT IT. I NOW KNOW:
- I need to plan what I'm going to eat
- I need to be aware of what I am actually eating, by sitting down, putting it on a plate and eating it slowly
- I am in control of what goes in my mouth and can make choices (e.g. 'NO CHOICE', One low carb meal out, 'oh well')
- I can become aware of the emotions that I am feeling and deal with them in constructive ways that don't involve food
- I can motivate myself to lose weight and be healthy (look at my daughter, read my goals, give myself credit every day)
- I can exercise, I won't 'break', and cycling to work is a good thing and doesn't take all day!
- I can be honest and stay honest (by logging on to minimins, by talking to my husband, by acknowledging that my weight gain, and staying high weight was not all medical... the chocolate and flapjack played a significant part too)
- I have been able to easily fool myself into wonky thinking about food, but now know about some of these thinking errors and am able to spot them more quickly.
- It is OK to think about food, but that doesn't mean I actually have to eat the food I think of.
- My needs are important, and that my choices about what I want to eat mean it is OK to say 'no' to something that someone else has cooked / made / given to me to eat.
Wow, today was a good Beck day for me.
There's a really good quote in the book
'
Once I believe that I've lost weight due to my own efforts, dieting will be easier'
This is so important for me to really register. Yes, the Exante diet does make it easier to lose weight, but it is my effort, willpower, determination and enthusiasm that has got me through the first 32 weeks of this diet, and that will see me through the next 14 weeks or so.
Wow... hadn't really thought of it like that, I could actually get to the end of this phase of the journey in 14 weeks... I really am doing this, I am going to be a healthy weight, and really liberate the person that I am.
Oh yes, and to top it all off, persuaded my hubby to get on the scales tonight, and I now weigh less than him for the first time ever, hurrah